Share money, the unbearable weight of life

When the gift has become a heavy burden in our lives, should we take up the weapon of “sanity”, break free from the rope of moral kidnapping and be a free gift-giver?


The strange record of the share giving in the north and south of the country

Not the most bizarre

Only more bizarre

It’s almost New Year’s Eve, ask me what I’m most afraid of, afraid of receiving strange calls.

Every October and around New Year’s Eve, this kind of wedding peak, with the share of the last straw to fall on the young people, the light will be cut in half salary, the heavy will borrow money to eat dirt.

I have seen a girl online complaining about her November holiday, disguised as a “money spinner” she, a monthly salary of 7,000, with the gift with out 10,000, so that The next month, had to borrow money to live.

An ordinary wage earner in a county in Xingtai, had a record of 7 days long vacation to catch 15 weddings. The most depressing thing for him is that the 15 weddings, only one or two are hosted by relatives, the others are some social “acquaintances”. And 15 wedding banquets down, not to mention the month’s wages, even next month’s wages, are not kept.

If the story of these users is to win the number of weddings, then there are some places, a wedding can go out with half a month’s salary.

“Wenzhou starting price of 2000 to understand”

I thought this was a joke, but I never thought that a mountain is higher than a mountain, Taizhou to “2800” the amount of the gift, let me remember the city in an instant.

The above is only the wedding banquet gifts, there are places in order to collect the money, the family sow gave birth to piglets, but also to celebrate the village. It is said that in some areas of Sichuan there is a feast called “bench feast”, meaning that the purchase of a bench also to hold a banquet to receive gifts.

Compared with these banquets, what a whole birthday of the elderly, grandchildren, what three weddings and four weddings, simply too much to “receive gifts”.

There are also some netizens, relatives because of the return gift is not the same, relatives and sisters also have a grudge.

Netizens have two aunts, a great uncle. A few years ago, the eldest daughter gave birth to a pair of dragon and phoenix children, everyone to the two children a gift of 200.

After two years, the classmate’s daughter gave birth to a boy, uncle in the spirit of “reciprocity” attitude, to the nephew of the great aunt with a gift of 200, others see big brother This gift, had to follow 200.

But that’s how it happened, or something happened. Great aunt to the second aunt discontent: “when your son had a child, but I followed the 500 gift, how to my daughter, it became 200? “

This word reached the ears of the second aunt, the second aunt is also indignant, “I am with big brother with the, and not only me with 200, why the spear also towards me. “

But the indignation is indignant, according to netizens, that New Year’s Eve, the second aunt is hard to give the great aunt’s grandson 500 yuan of New Year’s money, in order to make up for the difference of 300 with the gift.


Wrong number of gifts

Sisters also feel resentment

Honestly, the above experience of these users, if set aside in the past, I specified that I do not believe, and right as a paragraph a fun. But now, I am a mature social children, life hit the face, but the snap (pia ~) ring.

Just two days ago, I also received a high school classmate’s wedding invitation call. Although we had a good relationship in high school, but since graduation, we have not been in contact, I really can not figure out why she got married to notify me, but not because I gave her a “like” on her circle of friends I can’t figure out why she would want to notify me of her wedding, but it’s because I gave her a “like” on her circle of friends?

God knows I have tightened my belt for more than half a month, really can not afford to come up with hundreds of oceans to go with the gift …… hard not to, the second half of the month I have to eat dirt to live?

I remember when I first graduated, and I shared a roommate just paid three months rent received a wedding invitation from a college classmate. Monthly salary of 3,000 she paid the rent only 1200 left, so she had to struggle with the end is with 200 or with 500.

Honestly, to her economic situation at the time, with 200 on life is worse, let alone 500.

But in the end, she still with 500, “my college roommate they are with the number, I’m afraid I’m not good with less …… “With 500 gifts of her face is there, but her next period of time, I can only use the soup to describe the water.

Of course, the “share” is so unfriendly to young people, the parents of young people, more unfriendly.

One time my mother called me and lamented, “Ugh! This month’s retirement salary is not even a little bit left. A few days ago a classmate’s mother lost, just went out 200, this is not, Nim Hualing aunt’s daughter the day after tomorrow ‘do nine’ 500, Nim three grandmother’s young son’s wedding is also this month’s matter … … my retirement salary. … my retirement salary, not to mention the food and drink, even with the share is not enough. “

The son of an old classmate got married, the daughter of a colleague gave birth, and the old man at the entrance of the street died …… all kinds of red and white celebrations, which must follow a few big tickets. According to my mother, she is now the largest monthly expenditure, is “with the gift”.


The money

The unbearable weight of life

A few years ago, the China Social Science Research Center of Peking University conducted a project called the China Family Dynamic Tracking Survey (CFPS), in which data was specifically done for each province in China on the gift of favors: the data showed that in 2016, the average household expenditure on gifts in Chongqing was the highest, up to 10,612 yuan, accounting for nearly 20% of the total household income; Ningxia Hui Autonomous Region, the average The least expenditure on humane gifts, only 325 yuan; in the northeast, Sichuan and Guizhou regions, humane gifts account for 9%-20% of the family income; and in Henan, 2,931 yuan of humane gifts, has been close to a month’s salary of many county personnel.

You know, the Engel coefficient of the country in 2016 is only 30%. This is only the data of 2016, now four years later, this value can be said to have only gone up, not down.

Many people call the “share” “free private This is an abomination to everyone!

Some people ask, “Can’t we outlaw this vice?

In fact, in a strict sense, “giving a share” is not a vice, it is a means for people to help each other. Every person who follows the share knows that, under normal circumstances, our share of money sooner or later is to “exchange gifts”.

However, the reason why these years with the share of the bad road people edge, usually because of two reasons, one is the matter is wantonly enrichment of people as a means to make money, as we flirt with the same, who has not received a few unbelievable “enrichment “phone call.

The second is because many people are “kidnapped” by the share, the amount of money, become a measure of the depth of emotion between you and me, is used to climb.

Some young people, in order to resist the “share”, even in the red envelope wrapped in a piece of paper, which reads. The paper will be returned to me when I get married. “

This practice is a little too much, but always an expression of attitude.

In fact, the “share” is not a custom unique to our country, foreign countries also have “With the share”, but the difference is that abroad is a real “gift The difference is that abroad is a real “gift”.

In foreign countries, people will build a “gift list” before the wedding, which lists the gifts they need, friends can choose in this list want to give the couple a gift. This is a way to show your appreciation.

In this way, that is, to avoid being morally abducted by the share money, but also to avoid giving each other unwanted gifts.

Of course, this also has its drawbacks, quick hands can naturally first pick up cheap gifts to buy to give to friends, slow hands will have to pay for those more expensive gifts.

In fact, regardless of foreign countries, the matter of gifts are difficult to completely peace and love, I think, this thing is so it. We all put our minds at ease, if the feelings are in place, hundreds of dollars, thousands of dollars are the same; if the feelings are not in place, hundreds of dollars, thousands of dollars are actually the same.

So, I hope we all grow, with the gift, with how much you want to follow with how much ~