How to say “no” to a willful baby

Most all capricious children grow up in such a pattern of education: make demands on mom – mom refuses – continue to demand – mom refuses – cry, fuss, scream – mom compromises.

There are always irrefutable reasons for a mother to give in to her child’s unreasonable demands: to not be late for work; to get rid of her embarrassment in public; to make her child happier; to keep her child from starving …… These reasons, full of maternal love, will make the child more capricious and make the mother pay for her mother’s pride and rights, and what she gets in return is only The child’s temporary happiness and the mother’s temporary ease. The first thing you need to do is to compromise and give in, which will only put the problem on hold and “erode” the foundation of your child’s growth, laying numerous hidden dangers for your child’s future life.

The first time a child learns to make demands on his or her mother, he or she will always insist on his or her demands in a probing manner. As long as the mother’s refusal is not so firm that the child is afraid or desperate, the child will continue to insist and even use crying to blackmail the mother. This trick is the best way to test the limits of the mother’s refusal. If the mother is very determined, the child gradually gives up subduing her.

On the contrary, if the mother gives in, she is telling the child “if you want to get your way, just cry”. The child’s capricious behavior is then reinforced. Once the child gets a taste of it, he or she will catch the mother’s weakness and continue to use her willful and obstinate ways to get her to meet all her demands.

Say “no” to your child’s capriciousness

If your child is willful, then he or she has already caught your weakness. The solution is simple: learn to say “no” to your child firmly.

Make sure there are no loopholes for your child to exploit. A mother can make a private agreement with her child in advance so that he has no room to back out. 2.

  1. Tell your child that he or she must keep his or her word. The mother can clearly tell the child, “We both have to do what we say we will do. Whoever reneges is a person who does not keep his word.”
  2. It is important to make sure that the child has clearly agreed that a mutually agreed agreement is enforceable.

Three responses for refusing to let your child break an agreement

When your child insists on breaking the agreement, you must tell him that a person who doesn’t keep his word is no one’s favorite.

  1. Look at your child with a serious and calm expression, do not smile, and do not let your child think there is an opportunity to take advantage of the situation.
  2. When refusing your child, speak concisely: “No, we can’t go back on what we’ve agreed. You must ……” If the child continues to insist on his unreasonable demands, you should refuse him more succinctly: “No.” If your child becomes more obstinate, crying, screaming and embarrassing you, you can just pick up your child and go home without saying anything. If you are in a hurry to go to work when your child enters the kindergarten, you can send your child to the class without saying anything, explain the situation to the teacher, and then leave the kindergarten. If your child insists on not eating, or eating snacks, you must insist on not giving him snacks while keeping him from eating.
  3. Do not argue too much with your child at the time of refusal. Reason afterwards, when both your child and you have calmed down. But it is worth noting that you must speak to your child in a respectful and equal manner so that your child will accept your opinion.

Three suggestions for parents to HOLD when their child breaks the agreement

In addition to the protocol approach, our advice to parents for some temporary situations is to

★ Ignore it. The purpose of a child’s tantrum is to get the parent’s attention so that he or she can achieve his or her heart’s desire. Therefore, parents can turn a blind eye and let the child make a scene. When the child has had enough and sees that the parents are still ignoring him or her, he or she will feel that this crying and screaming does not serve his or her purpose and will slowly change his or her bad habit of being capricious.

★Patient persuasion. When a child makes some unpredictable demands, if the parents ignore them and still can’t get the child to give up, the parents can be patient and persuasive when appropriate. The child should be reasoned with briefly, so that he or she understands why the mother and father cannot agree to the child’s request. However, never give in to your child. Because the first compromise is bound to be a second one. If you do, your child will become more and more capricious.

★ “Punish” appropriately. When a child throws a tantrum, even if the child has calmed down and is actively “pleasing” the parent, the parent should deliberately remain “indifferent” to the child. Let the child realize that what he or she just said or did was very “unpleasant” to the parent, and then explain the reasoning to the child and make him or her promise not to be so capricious or lose his or her temper in the future.