Five times to sue for divorce: every minute is a fright

Hunan 80-year-old woman Ning Shunhua 5 years 4 times to sue for divorce was rejected case, the fifth lawsuit will be in court on April 30.

Four and a half years after leaving home, Ning Shunhua filed divorce proceedings for the fifth time.

On March 1 this year, she got out of the cab and looked around like a secret agent to make sure no one was watching, before walking quickly into the Hengyang County Court. The new trouble was that she was not given a copy of the last verdict, and she could not sue again until she had this document.

The judge on the phone tone hard, let her slow down, not the total number of days to sue, “the little girl how not to listen to advice. “

Ning Shunhua did not listen, afraid that “slow down a little, the court thought that the relationship has not broken”. She was on fire, in the court hall loudly, “Why not to me? “

Another judge, who knew her from the case, came to her rescue and helped her get the effective letter, suggesting in a gentle tone that a month’s delay would avoid irritating Chen Dinghua, her husband in the legal sense, who could then help file the petition. She accepted the offer.

This is Ning Shunhua, a Hunan woman who claims to be “soft but not hard”. Two days later, on March 3, she still filed the lawsuit, and somehow word got out that her brother had called the next day, saying that Chen Dinghua knew she was suing again and had sent a threatening message.

For Ning Shunhua, her husband, Chen Dinghua, has been a nightmare for the Ning family for the past four years: he has beaten her father, cut her brother with the back of a knife, and threatened her with numerous words; he has threatened to chop off her hands, gouge out her eyes, and ask people to put a curse on her with superstition; he has also led people to drag her out of the cab, choking her to prevent her from calling for help, and pulling her long hair to hit the roadbed. When she woke up in a coma, two men were carrying her into a car. The villagers nearby thought she was a human trafficker and angrily stopped the atrocity.

For all these acts, Chen has been detained by the police five times so far. But he seems to be fearless. Ning Shunhua remembers a court session where he came up to him and said, “It’s fun to fight with you. “

The unsettled woman

“I shiver at the mention of this name. “Ning Shunhua voice are trembling, the body suddenly tightened, like a rabbit encountered a natural enemy. Just past her 33rd birthday, she is still upright, big eyes, straight nose, very white skin, white T-shirt, jeans, small white shoes, to the evening over a small suit or denim jacket; run up, like a small girl with a small swing arm. Small size T-shirt in her body still looks a little loose. Before marriage, she had a beautiful goose egg face, and her colleagues said she looked like the Korean star Choi Lin, but now she is so thin that she looks like a cone face. Before each court session, she would calculate how to escape Chen Ding Hua, while worrying about the verdict, could not eat, and quickly dropped several pounds.

Ning Shunhua always meet in a shopping mall in Shenzhen, which is the area where she has lived, stay in a familiar place to feel safe. Shenzhen is already in summer, the mask wears a while to wet transparent, but she has not taken off. After her real name appeared in the media, she still wants to protect more privacy – the past four years, in order to avoid Chen Ding Hua, she quit her sales job, hiding in a district property in Shenzhen, the income dropped a cut. She moved several times, did not dare to share a room, lived in a remote suburb, and stuffed herself into the subway every morning, “can squeeze through clothes”.

Chen Ding Hua never gave up contacting her, but also claimed to have hired a private detective, looking for emotional recovery agency. His phone has long been Ning Shunhua blacked out, the other party to contact with other people’s cell phones, she received one to pull a black. “To now he is estimated to take strange phone calls, just I did not answer, all the Hengyang number I do not answer, and then Changsha number I do not answer, and then the strange number I do not answer. “Say a “later”, she will shoot once thigh The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers.

Almost no one denies that this is a brave woman. In the past five years, she never gave up the prosecution, even if a judge advised her to “just live apart for the rest of your life”. The third prosecution began, she wrote a suicide note every time she returned to Hengyang and hid it in a cabinet, where only her relatives knew the location. If I die in his hands, I will make sure he takes his life. ” Ning Shunhua sounded resolute.

But this seemingly strong woman living alone also has a soft spot: when she disappeared from Chen Ding Hua’s view, her father in her hometown, her brother in Changsha became the target of harassment and intimidation. “I myself let them worry even if, but also let their personal safety is threatened. “Ning Shunhua could not help but shed tears, she even thought of buying glyphosate and each other to die together, or pretend to get back together and poison each other with rat poison. She was always happy to see those news of wives killing their husbands in return.

After the fifth prosecution, in April this year, she turned to the media for help. In fact, a few years ago, she approached the Hunan Women’s Federation’s “Today’s Women’s Newspaper”, and the report did not work. This time, she didn’t have much hope, but the public response was far greater than she expected, and she was featured on Weibo and called by the media daily. Even so, she was still worried that she would not be sentenced, after all, “there is no new evidence”.

Late at night on April 14, a media reporter forwarded her the county court briefing, she read it and her heart sank, her stomach felt like it had been punched in the face. The briefing explained the reasons for the absence of the previous sentence, including “Ning Shunhua also expressed willingness to give time and opportunity to the defendant through text messages and other means. “

“Look at this, or not to award (a divorce). She looked dejected with her head down. Those text messages were produced by Chen Dinghua during the second prosecution, she said, adding that she had never sent them and that the other party had set someone else’s user name as her phone number, only to have it hastily assumed as a fact.

But she never wanted to give up. Five times it didn’t work six times, eight times it didn’t work ten times. “It’s like digging a tunnel, you can always dig through to see the sun. “She showed an embarrassed smile, “but also because of the belief in the law. “

She has long since stopped hiring lawyers, writing her own pleadings since her third lawsuit, and her latest, her fifth, knowing that the Civil Code in force replaces the Marriage Act. Apart from sales techniques, she now knows best how to get a divorce, and nothing is more important than that, even compared to her life.

During the ten-hour conversation with the author of “Extreme Day”, Ning shed tears twice. Once when she talked about worrying about her family, and the other time when she was briefly married, her eyes quickly dimmed, like a camera losing its focus, and tears fell silently. She didn’t experience an ounce of tenderness or consideration from the relationship. “We were like bosses and employees. “Ning Shunhua said that when renovating the house, she took the initiative to keep every invoice and receipt.

Only six months of married life is like a rubber band stretched to the end: quarrel mood irritable, Chen Dinghua will drop the cup, the whole plate to pour out her fried dishes, the reason is not to eat spicy. Since then she put less chili peppers, but not completely; compared to not loving to shower, spit, do not wash their hands after defecating such hygiene details seem not worth mentioning – Chen Ding Hua will even pretend to open the faucet, she sneaked over to check. “It’s too tiring. ” said Ning Shunhua.

It was late at night when the first long conversation ended, and she stopped a cab and quickly got into the back, disappearing into the darkness before she could say hello. Back in the house, let her sister check the situation first, there is no difference before daring to go upstairs. Seeing from the news that Chen Ding Hua had come to Guangzhou, she put a fruit knife in the bedside table and was able to reach it by reaching out.

Wrong decision

Ning Shunhua likes tall men with “righteous faces”, she had a few blind dates, about ten years ago, introduced by people from the same village, some are very dark, shy with a big belly, some look like hair salon The other one has two big buck teeth protruding – “Oh, it’s ugly. “Now recall, she will still show a little girl-like naïve look.

But the unknown 30 years old gradually became a hurdle in the heart, “old women and single, like us, the culture is not very high, the capital will be lower and lower, happiness will also be farther and farther away. “Ning Shunhua said that during that time she began to doubt herself, in the eyes of others whether they are only suitable for this.

Chen Dinghua is not the look that Ning Shunhua likes. He was small-eyed, single-eyed, and not much taller than her. They are in the same village and different groups, three years apart. At the end of 2015, the matchmaker brought Chen Dinghua to the door and met him for the first time. He said little and calm, with the car keys on his waist. The matchmaker is a distant relative of Chen Dinghua, saying he has a good position and a suite in the city, as he has a stake in a plastic factory.

The same day Chen Dinghua brought cigarettes and wine, hoping to settle the marriage. Ning Shunhua told his father to refuse, saying he “didn’t even see the other side’s face”. Later on the phone, Chen Dinghua kept urging for a license. The matchmaker also called frequently to persuade, “you are also such an age”. Two sisters married to the northeast and Fujian, respectively, and the father also hoped that his youngest daughter could start a family close by.

“Said more people, the heart will not have their own master, and think forget it. Ning Shunhua said that it was a hasty marriage, and probably the only decision she made that was confusing. She felt that “people from the same village are not as bad as they could be”.

On June 15, 2016, the two got married with a license. Only after the wedding did she hear from the villagers that Chen Dinghua had long been interested in her, saying, “Whoever helps me marry Ning Shunhua will pay 50,000 yuan. “She said:” the days after the wedding like an upgrade to fight, never know what scares behind. “

That never pass the boss is the husband Chen Ding Hua. After the wedding, he began to wear a thick gold chain, wearing a lion’s head a class of clothes she seems to have a horrible pattern, two people walking on the road, Ning Shunhua deliberately stagger. They also had no mutual friends, and she attended several of Chen’s parties, each time being touched with excessive intimacy, like a declaration of sovereignty.

Ten days after the wedding, she asked again “why don’t you go to work”, and Chen Ding Hua suddenly burst out and roared. “There is no such thing! There is no factory, no job. Ning Shunhua was dumbfounded, frozen in his chair for more than ten minutes did not speak, “this time I think it is a scam, has been carefully designed trap for me to jump. “Ning Shunhua leaned back and raised his head, eyes chagrined.

A month or so after the wedding, friends came to Chen Ding Hua chat, she heard her husband in gambling – playing three gong, fried gold flowers, once can lose tens of thousands; another time, she heard him to join with friends “kill pigs “to cheat on a gambling game. These were areas she had never ventured into before, and there was no one in her family who could play cards.

She had found two pieces of paper in Chen Dinghua’s wallet, recording the money owed to him by others and the money he owed to others. When she went to question him, Chen Dinghua didn’t care and told her with a smile, “One way or another, others still owe me money.”

So she learned that he could earn money by lending money. Initially she would still protest in a high-pitched tone, and then gradually became a helpless dissuasion. She was disgruntled, he yelled back, and mutual pushing and shoving occurred. Cold war became the norm. Once, Ning Shunhua ran to her sister in Shenzhen, Chen Ding Hua rushed to, crying and kneeling, write a pledge “never to gamble again”.

Life is like a ship, with the inertia of not being able to turn around instantly. She didn’t expect to get divorced and confided in her closest friends, but the reply she got was, “Advise your husband to find a good job. “You’re already married, what else can you do? “

There were no good memories in the marriage that she could miss. Ning Shunhua advocates quiet, likes to climb mountains, swimming, and does not like the noise of the card table. Chen Ding Hua driving like the gas pedal brake a foot to the end, she scolded him, he smiled and did not respond. She loves to listen to Faye Wong, he likes Hunan Flower Drum Opera. She sometimes doesn’t even understand his fast and authentic dialect when she’s away from home.

But they also tried to save the relationship. In October 2016, Chen Dinghua took out 300,000 yuan and made her responsible for renovating a new house of 140 square meters. Ning Shunhua wanted a modern, simple European style, but her husband preached luxury – and ended up listening to him, “After all, his money “, Ning Shunhua said, a marble backdrop cost tens of thousands of dollars. Chen Dinghua always seems to be by his own nature, his parents have a son in his old age, Chen Dinghua married, they will also give him the chicken leg to eat.

On November 13, 2016, Chen Dinghua once again came home at more than two in the morning, not daring to turn on the lights and gently getting under the covers. She knew he must have gone gambling again; they had argued over renovations the day before. She was still awake, but pretended to be asleep. The next morning, she went out alone, to the station to buy tickets to Shenzhen, seven or eight hours on the train, all the way to sleep, constantly examining the marriage, “a bold idea” emerged A bold idea” came up. She went to her elder sister’s house without any clothes, in a mess like a refugee, and didn’t say anything for several days, and her elder sister didn’t dare to ask. A few days later she opened her mouth: “I’m going to get a divorce. “


December 1, 2016, Ning Shunhua walked into the county court alone, did not bring a complaint, do not know how to write, see someone at the door to write on her behalf, she shelled out three hundred dollars, in exchange for the first indictment of life, only one reason: the other party is addicted to gambling.

Ning family three sisters, Shunhua youngest, but the eldest sister said “she is the most decisive”, the same suffering from measles, hormonal fat a circle, the eldest sister three years did not lose weight, she insisted on morning and evening She insisted on running in the morning and evening, and regained her figure in a month. When the eldest and second sister at home, “Shunhua like a child do not do anything. But when she is by herself, she can also put everything in order.

The divorce was the result of half a month of deep thought: no children, no banquet, never saw more relatives. “Thinking about whether ending it now would minimize the damage to everyone. “Her voice lowered, like reflecting on her naivety.

Ning Shunhua always answers off the cuff, and there are no lulls in the long narrative. This is perhaps the “clarity of mind” that Chen Dinghua likes to describe to the media as a He bought a new house for her and a Land Rover before the wedding. He believes that there is no “big conflict” between the two. “Her love can only be given by me. “

Four days after the first prosecution, on December 5, 2016, Chen Ding Hua was fined for repeated gambling, detained for twelve days. As a family member, Ning Shunhua received the penalty notice, and at that moment felt that the decisive evidence in hand. But at the trial, the court held that this was no proof that “the other party has a gambling habit and repeatedly fails to reform”.

Not too disappointed, Ning Shunhua Internet research, the first time usually will not be sentenced, believe that the prosecution will be sentenced again.

From then on, Chen Ding Hua began to show a more frightening side. After persuading Ning Shunhua that he was ineffective, he began sending threats and threatening messages.

In the second half of 2017, during the second prosecution trial, Chen refuted Ning Shunhua’s account of their acquaintance in court, saying that they were “childhood sweethearts. Another version of what Chen told several media outlets was that he met Ning in 2007 on a train ride home and tried to propose a marriage that year, only succeeding at the end of 2015 – to which Ning rebutted: “Then why can’t he couldn’t take even one early photo together? “

But what is certain is that after the second prosecution, the threat escalated into action. After 6 a.m. the day after the charges were filed, Ning Shunhua left the village on her father’s motorcycle when Chen Dinghua drove them to a stop. He tried to grab the bag, and she slapped him twice when she resisted.

At the police station, “this matter between husband and wife” could not be dealt with, Ning Shunhua jumped out of the second floor window, climbed on the water pipe and escaped into a corn field. Chen Dinghua caught up with her father and slapped him. The next afternoon, the brother came back from Changsha, door to door to say, in the mountains was cut with a kitchen knife back. Ning Shunhua said that the brother called the police, the two nearby police stations said they do not fall under their jurisdiction. In the evening, Chen Dinghua came back to the Ning family, fist in the corner of Ning’s father’s eye.

Ning Shunhua said the police station let the two sides private settlement, she did not accept, she also because she hit those two slaps, was administrative detention for three days. She felt very wronged, but on second thought, this should be able to prove that the marriage broke up.

But wait until the verdict, the court accepted part of the evidence provided by Chen Dinghua, including her sending text messages “did not move today …… you want me to “, “when the house is renovated, we do not have to separate”, and the two in July 2017 in Shenzhen room records. that the couple’s relationship has not broken down. Ning Shunhua’s appeal was also rejected by the Intermediate Court.

These years, Ning Shunhua can not understand too many things. The second time she filed a lawsuit, she was kicked back and forth between the town’s police station court and the county court. After she applied for the first habeas corpus, Chen Dinghua came back to the door, and Ning’s father took the protection order to the police, but the public security officer who came to the police said it was issued by the court and had nothing to do with them.

A lot of things seemed absurd. During the fourth trial, the two almost reached an agreed divorce. That agreement allowed Ning Shunhua not to marry and fall in love for two years, and the other party to keep in touch, in return, Chen Dinghua no longer stalking and intimidation, no longer illegal crime. Doing (not stalking, not breaking the law) these, two years later, then remarried.

The most incredible is also this time. At that time, Ning Shunhua had already filed three writs of habeas corpus, and Chen Dinghua had been detained four times for violent behavior and verbal threats, but still no sentence had been pronounced. She wrote six suicide notes, full of incomprehension, aggression and anger, both at Chen Dinghua and the court.

Ning Shunhua said the court and the Women’s Federation suggested that she first sign an agreement for a successful divorce. But Chen said “if not remarried, will be revenge”, she did not agree. Chen Dinghua explained that the women’s federation asked to add a sentence to consider remarriage if the woman regained feelings for the man, he also refused to agree.

From the second trial, the court always sits twice, near the last moment of judgment. On the contrary, Ning Shunhua always counted the days and continued to sue at the first time.

This also seems to be one of the reasons for Chen Dinghua’s anger. In an interview with the media, he said that in 2018 he had hoped that the other party would wait for a few months on the grounds that “his father was dying”, but he still received the summons at the first opportunity. Chen’s sister, in an interview with Jiupai News, believes that her brother is just a little extreme to get back together, but there is nothing bad in mind. She said that her brother always buy clothes for her mother, but the shoes are always on the small side, 36 yards, the mother to wear 39, 40 yards, “he always thought that women’s feet are small, said several times do not remember. “Even Chen Ding Hua’s side of the people, later “advised to leave “, even Chen’s father’s last words on his deathbed, but he still insisted on himself.

good sleep

It was only recently that more media news reached her ears and Ning Shunhua began to believe that the divorce would be successful this time. She showed a little girl-like leap and waved her hand around: “I’m going to get drunk and cheer! “

The company’s first ever business is the company’s own business. “Before are only five days”. the afternoon of April 20, the fifth prosecution after the court summons was also sent to her home, April 23 morning will be held in court, more than ever It was sent to her or her brother before.

For a long time, all she wanted was a divorce. In her earliest interview, she told reporters that she “had a child with another person,” she said, lying at the time, just to prove that the relationship had indeed broken down, and the next day felt wrong to The next day, she felt wrong and clarified to the reporter.

She did not want to get anything from the marriage. 66,000 bride price, ready to return after the divorce, although legally she did not have to do so. The diamond ring he gave her, which she didn’t choose, was large and yellowish, worth over 100,000 according to Chen Ding Hua, and she wore it for only a few days before she put it away because she didn’t like it, and planned to return it as well. This would have been a simple case, no economic disputes, no children, “I just want a free agent. “She sounded sharp and urgent.

But Chen Dinghua kept looking for trouble. Ning Shunhua’s former lawyer recalled that he threatened the judge and the contractor. Chen Dinghua also did not deny the illegal acts to reporters, and even took the initiative to send multiple reports of men retaliating against his ex-wife. After the first sentencing, he stopped the judge’s car, on which sat Ning Shunhua, he drew a knife from his arms, the judge persuaded him to go back to the car after telling Ning Shunhua: “He wanted to cut off his hand no longer gambling. “He had also written a hundred pledges, which were distributed door-to-door in the village. He said he had also written a suicide note of 30,000 to 40,000 words.

To justify his anger, Chen Dinghua also publicly threw out multiple claims: he claimed that his wife took more than 300,000 is a fraudulent marriage, but was denied by the court early in the trial; he also threw out his wife’s rooming records with others, referring to her cheating, saying that this is the reason for his “anger “. “He has my ID card.” Ning Shunhua said it was clear that it was a record of her and her brother staying in a hotel, but the room was P with another man. The court had determined that she sent a composite text message, and room records, she also filed a claim through the Women’s Federation, hoping to re-investigate.

A few days after the news report, Ning Shunhua did not go to work, she has not yet figured out how to face her colleagues, many people asked her whether the same name, she did not reply to any of them.

She also did not think about how to deal with possible retaliation. In the past few years, her brother got married and her grandfather died, and she didn’t dare to go back. Only appeals and court, only to Hengyang County, wearing a duck-tongue cap and mask, like a secret agent in a hurry, the same day back to Shenzhen – only to return to the sea of people in the metropolis, she felt safe. She likes the civilization here, no one spits, relationships are simple, you don’t have to beg to do things, and the roads are always filled with young faces.

She planned to start her new life with exercise and good sleep.

She hadn’t slept well all these years, waking up after two hours of sleep and sweating in the winter, staying up intermittently until morning. Every time she washed her hair, it fell out, and when she went swimming at the beach, her colleagues saw her and said she looked like she was going through chemotherapy. Thinking about the divorce, she often tears, the eldest sister several times late at night received a phone call, silently listening to her sister crying.

The sister’s changes, the sister are seen in the eyes, her temper became more impatient, so never dare to take the initiative to ask. At that time, Ning Shunhua to go to the sister, sister always arrange entertainment activities, take her climbing mountains, go to the beach, afraid that she can not think, want her to yell out to vent.

Shunhua never yelled, thinking it was useless. Sometimes she will sing loudly, Qinghai-Tibetan plateau and so on, after singing the heart will be better, but often singing and crying, crying too much.

After these experiences, part of the things like lost forever, such as trust in others and feelings. She said she would probably never get married in her life. Even “with other people to have children, but also will not get a license”. When she first arrived in Shenzhen, she would point to a building window and say that in the future this is their own, now she thinks that in the future to rent a house, a person in this retirement is also good.

She finally regained a good mood. the afternoon of April 20, she received the paperwork for the court hearing in three days, she went to the park for two laps, which is the first time in several years, she “want to sunbathe “It was the first time in several years that she had the idea that she wanted to get some sun. She was determined to get divorced and disappear from everyone’s sight, but there were bound to be a lot of reporters at the trial, “What should I do? ” – even this worry, the tone of voice have hidden joy. Perhaps marathon runners can best appreciate this joy, that is after a long road, you are finally about to arrive at the established end.