My friend Lu Yu-chen’s blind date trip has entered its seventh year this year. He goes on an average of five or six blind dates a year, meeting more than 30 girls — none of them suitable.
Fortunately for Lu yu-chen, he was not in a hurry, for in the past six or seven years, his progress in life has been very clear. Then slowly endure, finally from the leadership when the gunner to write a thesis of the small role endure into the new power; Play P2P after work, earn more than loss, although death wages, but the savings on hand or gradually rich; The year before last he also moved into his own house from the rented house in Tiantongyuan — although it is a second-hand house outside the fifth ring Road, but this is Beijing.
It sounds like an inspiring story about a foreigner limping toward imperial glory, but each step is a deliberate calculation by Mr. Lu and his family — Mr. Lu’s life is a matter for family groups. His parents in a small town in Jiangxi province are in charge of the backup support, providing guidance in general direction, life care, tuition fees and down payment.
Lu Yuchen know this cooperation with their parents at an early age is the most efficient energy propulsion method in life, so he handed over his own control, completely against the “independent”, “personality”, “independent” the temptation of these words, from the university entrance exam to fill volunteer, looking for a job to mate, didn’t waste any energy in rebellion, thus designed safely on the parents’ mainstream life path “.
But the price of the “mainstream path” is boredom. Maybe that’s why he didn’t have a girlfriend for three of his four years of graduate school and ended up on the ‘mainstream dating road’ — but that’s ok. After all, relying on adolescent hormones and the kind of Mars hit the earth campus love, to bring the probability of a good wife to the Lu family how much, dating is a can control variables, the success rate is higher social experiment ah.
1
One of The first important lessons For Lu was asking a girl for a date — although shaped by his genes in an inland town, he has passed through lantern-lit day shops countless times without any desire to take a bite.
“But the day expect really his mama expensive.” ‘he said moodily.
When he first joined the company, his monthly salary was just over 3,000 yuan. His colleague introduced him to a girl surnamed Jiang who worked in China Merchants Bank. After calculating the cost performance, he decided to take her to wangfujing’s “grandma’s home”. He arrived an hour ahead of schedule, sat on the small stool waiting at the door, played his mobile phone fast and ran out of battery, and finally got a seat inside. But Miss Jiang came to the table, sat down and looked through the menu and said: “The food here is not delicious, you should change a place.” Lu’s muscles in his cheeks jerked automatically and said: “Yes.” So the girl took him to the general too.
That was the first time Lu Yu-chen ate Japanese food. Jiang asked him to order as a courtesy, but Lu has seen no such grotesque food or awkward names. See the menu along while, I do not know where to start, the menu pushed to the ginger girl, ginger girl politely pushed back to him, he saw a long time and pushed back to the girl…… As a last resort, Jiang said, “In fact, they can help themselves here…” “Oh, help yourself, help yourself!” At last Lu was free.
The buffet had to be paid for in advance. Even Lu Yu-chen didn’t care about the money, he just wanted it all over with. Can be finished ginger girl and not in a hurry to eat, with a mobile phone to shoot to shoot, Lu had to wait — I do not know whether this “tyrant” finally won the favor of ginger girl, parting she said: “later nothing can ask me to go shopping together, but of course you want to ask me to eat.” Lu Yu-chen was compliant. The next day at work, he told the introducer, “Xiao Jiang is too beautiful. I feel a little self-abased.i don’t deserve her.”
Later Lu yu-chen’s income went up, and he became more at ease with blind dates. His tongue, shaped by the genes of an inland town, was gradually getting used to the raw and sour taste of the day. In addition to Japanese food, he became a regular customer of seti thick steak, Sibei, HongKong And so on, leaving a brief but unpleasant memory with various girls in the restaurant. However, his previous experience may have left him a deep impression. He always felt that he was “pretend bility high” and that when he encountered a more willing target for a date, he was sure to take it with him in the shop — a zhao girl working in the transportation committee was one of them.
Zhao girl, blind date is Lu Yuchen seen the most beautiful, the most let him move, and his most serious after a chase the girl, so he did not mean: the iPhone 6 and as Lu Yuchen immediately sent zhao a girl, she accepted, but soon after, her back to the Lu Yuchen particularly expensive material, to even out, this let Lu Yuchen has a sense of foreboding. Even When Liu yu-chen asked for a meal, Zhao did not refuse, but as soon as she got home, she never took the initiative to contact him, as if she had forgotten that he was there. If liu was talking at WeChat, of course, miss zhao would come back — only usually in a couple of hours or four or five words.
Zhao’s attitude was beyond any of Lu’s previous emotional experiences. It took him a long time to realize that Ms. Zhao had carried out the classic “three no” policy toward him: no acceptance, no rejection, no commitment. For a while, Lu yu-chen was so overwhelmed that he felt he had failed miserably and was in no mood to go on any other blind dates. He specially called me for long periods of time in the middle of the night for comfort, which vexed me exceedingly. It was not until Lu Yu-chen heard from others that Zhao had been affected by a love affair with an ex-boyfriend who was a very rich and handsome man that he was able to balance out the whole affair.
“It’s not easy for us to catch up to this level after what happened to her.” “Perhaps,” said Lu Yu-chen moodily, “it would be ill-fitting to do so. It’s like the shoes look good, the face is shiny, but only the feet know if they’re comfortable.”
2
Thinking over, Lu Yu-chen put the ambiguous cold zhao girl “hanging” up, and began to date again. Lu yu-chen’s blind date was already well known in his unit, and he himself was very diligent and pragmatic. Whenever introduced by his colleagues, classmates and friends, he always went for the appointment, because for him, the matter had another importance: the cultivation of interpersonal relationships. After all, in an office, a co-worker’s blind date is not only about his or her wife, but also about survival. To use Lu’s phrase: “You can’t be choosy when a foreigner is here and has been introduced to you.”
Have a lu Yu-chen and unit leader to have a meal, was led to care about personal life full of love.
“Xiao Lu, have you found your girlfriend yet?”
“Haven’t…”
“Hold on tight, then.”
Lu was embarrassed. “It’s ok, boss, I’ll work hard first.”
“Work is important. So is your personal life.” The leader said meaningfully.
Every other month, the leader called Lu Yu-chen to go to the office. Lu Yu-chen dare not snub, take a book take a pen a trot to go, the result leadership mysterious ground say: “Yu Chen ah, introduce an object to you. My friend’s daughter is quite nice. She studied abroad in The UK and then got a master’s degree from a famous university. She has good family conditions in all aspects. Lu Yu-chen hastily agreed.
As a result, the first second of meeting, Lu Yu-chen’s heart on the landslide.
“I don’t think the leader himself has ever seen that girl. I might not be introduced to him.” Lu declined to describe the girl’s appearance, saying helplessly: “I think my mental attitude is OK, but I haven’t lifted a single head when I’m eating.”
Of course, this can not be said to the leadership. When lu was asked about it, he had to say “I need to look at everything again,” but actually — “Just for a cold treatment,” He repeated. “This is basic political INTELLIGENCE. How can people like you understand a kung fu drama if they can’t live to see the second episode?” He smiled his triumphant smile again.
The more people He saw, the longer Lu’s “cold list” grew, and he gradually discovered that a colleague often asked him for a blind date because he happened to be alone and “matched” with a partner. And relatives, friends, classmates introduced, generally just out of their understanding and concern.
However, even with the escort of relatives and friends, his blind date is still fraught with danger.
One year, When Lu Yu-chen went back to his hometown, a junior high school classmate called him: “Could I introduce a girl to you? My girlfriend’s friend is also working in Beijing.”
At that time lu Yu-chen had not greatly improved his economic situation and was living in the shabby rented house in Tiantong Garden. So he asked his classmate where the girl lived in Beijing. The classmate replied: Sanlitun. Lu Yu-chen wanted to ask again, but was interrupted by a classmate: “If you ask me what I can do for such a long time, my salary is 20,000 yuan a month. Meet them if you’re interested, and get to know them as you see fit.” As soon as Lu was rational, he agreed
For a kind of Tiantongyuan high can not afford the consideration of Sanlitun, meet that day, Lu Yu-chen did not embrace too much hope, wore an old shirt when university, riding old mother’s a red broken bicycle went to the cafe. As he locked the car outside, he took a distant look at his blind date in the house. There were few people in the cafe at that time. The girl was dressed in a formal dress and heavy makeup, dressed like a lobby manager, and was chatting with a big, fat man. “That male facial expression is atrocious, see know to mix triad of.” “Lu recalled.
Wait for him to go in, “gangdom eldest brother” walked. He sat down opposite the girl and began to chat incoherently.
“I asked her what she did in Beijing, and she said hotel management. I asked her what she did, and she said hotel management. That’s not a conversation. I stopped and asked her what university she went to. She said I didn’t go to college and graduated from a technical secondary school.”
Lu said he had been acutely aware that the girl’s background was very different from his own. There she was, sitting with her arms folded, a knee-jerk defensive posture, a little overdone with make-up, though her features were good; Even speaking also with a shaft strength, a start to stir up, two or three sentences seemed to shake out of a deep inferiority complex, so that people can no longer go down.
By the 20th minute, neither of them could stand the embarrassment any longer. The girl got up to go, Lu Yu-chen hurried to the bar to settle the bill, and the girl had disappeared.
Out of politeness and respect, Lu Yu-chen asked a classmate for the girl’s QQ number and gave it to her as well, then he forgot about it. Until one day, his QQ suddenly flashed up — the girl volunteered to add him. Lu Yu-chen is very curious, the dot opened the QQ space of the girl.
“There are two journals in it, written the day before I was added.” “There was a photograph of her own life in it — quite beautiful, to be honest — better than on a blind date. She was a little overdressed that day.”
“I’m a girl, it’s not easy for me, I can’t go to your place, but I’m absolutely good at serving you”…
At last he understood what it was like for a girl who had graduated from a technical secondary school to live in Sanlitun in Beijing and earn 20,000 yuan a month. But what he didn’t understand was why the girl was sending out “business journals” the day before he was due to join him. “Is she angry and trying to lure me in and get someone to beat me up? But not so much…” Lu was puzzled.
But these doubts can no longer be asked. As Lu Yu-chen hadn’t seen the world since he had lived for more than 20 years, and he couldn’t bear such a strong drama in life, so he started to delete the girl’s QQ at that time. Later, when the middleman got married, Lu yu-chen met the girl on the spot — the two met on the spot and bowed their heads in tacit agreement, pretending not to know each other.
3
For such a long period of blind dates, or for so many extraordinary failures, Lu was never able to find a reason for them; they were all ill-fated. His requirements for choosing a spouse were not high. In addition to pleasing to the eye, first of all, the woman’s work should be stable, preferably within the system — mainly under the guidance of Lu’s parents; Secondly, education at least bachelor’s degree – because he is a famous graduate student; Third, it could not belong to a horse, saying that “white horses have made green cows since ancient times” — which, of course, was also his parents’ request. It was purely a mysticism personal belief, but Lu Yu-chen also accepted it unconditionally.
I once wanted to test how serious a master’s degree from a famous university who had received 19 years of modern education could be about the animal sign of a blind date, so I asked him to introduce a beautiful girl. Looking at the photos, he was satisfied, but when he asked about the zodiac horse, he refused and never mentioned the meeting again.
So as a friend, seeing Lu’s “idol baggage” and small-town family values, I think his pursuit of a mate is really worrying… But there is also a spring for Chinese wolfberries — two years after the official blind date, the first peach blossom for lu was opened: Lin, a single girl I met with in the WeChat group, brought to me for the first love in my life.
The girl was largely unable to meet any of Lu’s requirements, but she was enthusiastic, happy and intelligent and hopped around like a beam of sunlight, leaving lu unable to move his eyes.
Started two people is mutual friends, later, xiao Lin to move, to yee moved to Lu Yuchen only three stops from neighborhood, from now on two people please a movie I please you a meal and wellpoint up, but as to whether to start a relationship at that time, Lu Yuchen is hesitation – his those conditions, the curse generally hovering in his mind: xiaolin degree is low, not registered permanent residence, job is not stable… Then their faces flashed and Lu’s head started to ache.
But Xiao Lin told him, don’t think so much ah, there is a feeling in this world not to get married, just to experience every now. Touched by this, Lu Yu-chen plucked up the courage to throw away those rational calculations for the first time in his life and took Xiaolin’s hand.
Lu was always grateful for this encounter. Xiao Lin is his first girlfriend and his first emotional teacher. Limping like a newborn, Lu Yu-chen, 29, took his first step — stepping into a parallel space without his parents, with only him and Kobayashi. They spent nearly a year together, visiting Beijing they knew well, watching new movies and taking trips to Places like Lijiang. They fought and made up. They talked about friends and jobs, but not about the future.
Even with the escort of relatives and friends, his blind date road is still fraught with danger. Even with the escort of relatives and friends, his blind date road is still fraught with danger.
But what’s coming will come. It was Lin who initiated the break — her friends had advised her not to stay with Him — and the girls couldn’t afford to spend time with a man they didn’t want to be responsible for, Lu said. Xiaolin is a girl who dares to love and hate. She hesitated many times before and finally made up her mind.
Lu Yu-chen knew there was no room to retain, break up that day, they meet to go to drink, drink to drink Lu Yu-chen to cry, after xiao Lin also cried. They sat across from each other and cried into the night, and then they left. Lu Yu-chen later told me that he hadn’t expected to cry, but the grief was real.
At that time, Lu’s mother happened to be in Beijing. He went home very late that day and was tired all over, so his mother asked him where he had gone. But his mother was shocked as if struck by lightning. She could not believe that her son, who had been obedient and consulted about everything with his family for so many years, had been in love with a girl with no future behind her back for a year! In a state of persistent disappointment and disbelief, Lu’s mother snubbed him for two months without a word.
At that time, Of course, I was very dissatisfied with his cowardly behavior of surrender without a struggle, but if I questioned him, he would immediately abandon his beloved Kobayashi and return to his old air of rational calculation, pinching his fingers to calculate his parents’ stubbornness and those “impossible” like mount Mount. This made me feel that the man deserved it, and that the pain he felt now was probably a rare thing in his life.
4
Although the end is sad, but a amour that Xiaolin donates, let Lu Yu-chen got the license that steps emotional river’s water after all — from now on also won’t somebody laugh at him diaosi, muddled, know nothing about the thing of men and women. But in the world of mortals, men and women in the drama of the exquisite, and is it a love to repair the end?
Lu yu-chen was once stumped by a girl.
It’s still a girl from some WeChat group. Judging from the header that she was “probably the most beautiful among all,” Lu ventured to amuse. Just before the National Day long holiday, two people chat with friends, find out each other’s native place, education and work units, found that are still on the table, the sister said holiday can go out with friends to play — and asked to “go to a bit farther places”, such as the ancient city of phoenix.
Lu Yu-chen was overjoyed: “To go to Phoenix does not mean to live outside… Difficult not the heroic female in the legend, was I met?” He thought excitedly and asked tentatively, “Shall I book one room or two?”
The girl paused for a moment and said, “You can have a room, but it must be a standard room with two beds.”
At the train station on the day of their departure, Lu met the girl for the first time. “Although She is not tall, she looks a bit like a jingtian,” he said.
Can get on the car not long, Lu Yu-chen discovers younger sister a bit wrong — she does not chat other, open mouth is always say a certain man how to chase her half an year, sent the thing of tens of thousands of tens of thousands to her. Lu yu-chen peered at one of the girl’s necklaces, which Tiffany’s probably proved to be true, but the suggestion was a bit too simplistic and crude, and overwhelmed Lu’s expectations.
Two people arrive after the Phoenix, liu Yu-chen just knows the sky drops pairless — drop bird excrescence is more: this younger sister, have clean freak, temper is irritable, to Lu Yu-chen all the way bossing around, do not let Lu Yu-chen even walk also want to keep certain distance, have a meal also cannot sit opposite her — because she is not used to.
‘I’ve never seen a girl like that! Lu is still exasperated. He also told me that although he paid for the train fare, hotel and meals, she was still extremely dissatisfied with the three-star hotel that he had so diligently entrusted to his friend: “I’ve never stayed in a hotel like this. I only stay in five-star hotels.” “Upon hearing this, I have no idea whatsoever,” Said Lu Yu-chen.
Later considering the small long vacation Phoenix a room is difficult to get, the sister complained a few also let it go. At that time, Lu yu-chen, unable to ride a tiger, had to share a bed with the girl in the same room for three nights. “Nothing happened,” he said.
The three days in Phoenix were basically a disaster for Lu Yu-chen’s life. The woman was so hot-tempered that it was difficult for her to assist — even asking for a “go your own way” — but when the woman said no, Lu was forced to send the Buddha west for a stroll and pay the bill, before finally sending her back to Beijing.
Long after this “affair”, Lu was still limping over how such a nonsense could happen — rather than agonizing over money. Until now, he hasn’t figured it out.
5
Even though He has met more than 30 blind dates and has a formal girlfriend, Lu admits he still has a strong diaosi aura about him. Temptations and code words between men and women were so complicated that he knew nothing about them because he had never seen a romantic action movie and had been wrapped up by his parents since childhood. Yet insensitive and unable to play, he wanted to play the game — so he was the little boy who stole his father’s shoes and left behind a lot of awkward jokes.
Once, the girl that a friend introduces invites him to see a movie actively, cinema is in lu Yu-chen door, the time that the girl arrives still early, Lu Yu-chen takes the somebody else to be in oneself area downstairs a circle ground turns.
“Our neighborhood is so green, it’s almost like a park.” The house has been A central pride for Mr. Lu.
“You won’t even invite me up?” “Said the girl.
Lu Yu-chen looked at his watch: “No, isn’t the movie about to start? Let’s get over there quickly.”
“Even at the movies, when I was seated on her right side, she bent as hard to the left as if she hated me…”
I doubled up with laughter and reluctantly told him that in the less mainstream world of normal adults, girls might be making intimations of further intimacy, but you’d just smacked him in the face and probably hurt his feelings.
Lu Yu-chen’s eyebrow bone raised suddenly, nostril zhang Is big, a bit dare not believe: “this is hint?”
Shocked for a few seconds, he asked, “What about going up and sitting down?”
I can not laugh or cry: “that don’t see bai…”
“What do you do when you get upstairs?”
“According to the formula of the TV series, step by step the bai fell…”
“Push?” Shocked, annoyed, curious and ashamed by the afterthought, Lu yu-chen was overwhelmed. He had a thousand questions to ask, but he did not know where to start. Finally, he struggled to choose the one he most wanted to know:
“Down… How to push? Directly?”
6
Lu is still groping along the road of blind date. Blind date, almost really become a grand social experiment, for him to present the bizarre world.
As Lu discovered at last, the hormones of youth had bypassed him but had carved them out for others — and now he was struggling to connect with the “gears” carved by those hormones, making up for the failures of adolescence.
But Mr. Lu has always been less worried — a sense of security that comes with choosing the mainstream. For two years he has been living on his own, especially after the last boom in Property prices in Beijing — and he has a look on his face that he can’t hide, like the triumph of sipping a glass of wine to greet the spring breeze, or “Yintang shining,” as his ancestors call it.
Recently, he even spoke of the expansion coefficient has become larger, sometimes I annoyed, he comforted me like this: “life can’t be perfect. As perfect as I am, I still need a wife.” There is no end to the troubles of the north float, but there will be for a former Jiangxi beijinger’s wife sooner or later — we all know that for sure.
To complete the task, 30-year-old Lu is ready to put on a suit and polish his shoes for the delicate trials of men and women waiting to be sold in the world.
(This article was completed in cooperation with Lu Yu. All names in this article are pseudonyms.)
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