The dubious self-redemption of a felon

preface

Gu Zhifeng was one of the longest-serving inmates I knew in prison. He was released in June 2011 after 18 years in prison since 1993. The backbone of the crime are called Gu Zhifeng “gu”, the prison prevalent all kinds of ugly nickname, such a respectful name is really rare. Playing cards and watching TELEVISION were the prisoners’ first choices during the brief weekly hours of free play, but in the dim corners of the hall there was always a small circle of people listening to the old man’s stories. This small group was not fixed, but almost all the key prisoners in the prison had belonged to that small group. Lao Gu’s toothless mouth is filled with all the hidden and hidden stories from the long history of prison. In the empty and lonely prison life, every key prisoner has patiently waited for him to tell his story. Gu told us the story of the little star.

1

The hero of the story calls small star, because the story happens in 90 time, too long time already let old gu cannot recall the full name of small star accurately.

At that time, Xiao Xing is not yet 30 years old, tall, even in the prison after what kind of wind and sun, he has always had a noble white skin, is a rare beautiful and melancholy man.

Before the sentence, small star and his wife jointly run a fruit stall, business is good, life is very full. Xiao Xing’s wife is a fierce character, once, because the shop next door robbed her of a few repeat customers, she ran to scold. When he spilled it, he was caught by his hair and knocked against the wall, breaking his forehead.

Small star character forbear introversion, when the incident did not go in time for his wife, wife from now on don’t complain about him, angry, small star with gasoline next door shop a fire.

As the fire of revenge burned down the shop, it also devoured the legs of the owner’s father.

Because the crime of arson sentenced to life imprisonment, in the end of two months into the prison training was divided into four prison area, this is a lot of life imprisonment, death sentence with reprieve type of prisoners in heavy prison area.

The Windows of the four wards, an independent three-storey building, are not only covered with steel lattice, but also with a grey layer of iron screen. After years of practice, the whole building looks like a big iron cage full of rust.

The first and third floors of the cage are prisoners’ dormitories, and the second floor is a dining room and activity room. Old gu and small star do not live in same building, but small star cent comes before long, became the well-known prisoner of whole building.

After because small star is put in prison, his wife feels guilty all the more, in order to let a husband endure the penalty of a long time, she often sends small star all sorts of life goods, the convict that distributes mail package every time will loudly shout small star’s name, his name was advertised countless times in whole building.

Whenever little Star received his parcel, the prisoners would gather round to watch. Xiao Xing received a lot of life items, shoes, towels, labor gloves… Above all, she would bring him a can of her own fermented bean paste.

“This shoe is warm, this glove is love, and this jar of sauce is fucking wife!”

Less than two months later, Xiao Xing refused to open the mail in front of the inmates, who were noisy, fussy and once smashed the bean paste.

The little star that makes as new defy the will of old convict openly, became the public enemy of whole building of 4 jail area very quickly.

2

The four prison areas are mainly engaged in foreign labor, prisoners breakfast and lunch are on the spot to solve the work, after the end of work back to the prison area on the second floor of the restaurant for dinner.

In those days, prison life was very difficult, and the food conditions were very light, so the inmates’ sense of smell to food became extremely acute.

Every night at dinner time, whenever Xiao Xing entered the restaurant, the inmates seemed to smell the smell of broad bean paste. However, xiao Xing is extremely stingy with his wife’s homemade doubanjiang, unwilling to share with any of them.

Unintentionally, the new team under the small star and “the environment” is out of tune, the big man make people see him more and more not pleasing to the eye, thinking to find some suffering to him to eat.

Four prison area transformation task is infrastructure, daily work in the prison construction site contracted work, small star transformation post is steel, according to the requirements of the project at that time, labor leader reference he is less than three months of novice labor, give him set the task is 0.65 tons of steel plate every day. But before long, xiao Xing’s labor task has risen to 0.9 tons. According to an old convict skilled in the technique of stiffeners, this amount of labor needs at least 10 hours, so since then, xiao Xing’s labor task has not been able to complete.

The output value of the four prison areas has always been among the best in the whole prison, because the prison area implements a very strict reward and punishment system for prisoners’ labor performance. Prisoners with excellent labor performance will be rewarded with meat and food, while prisoners with poor performance will not only be physically beaten, but also be punished with food.

small star every day back to the prison area, will consciously to the yard to get a butt on the stick, back to the dining room for dinner, he can only get a float a few pieces of mustard silk thin Tommy.

The inmates sneer with schadenfreude: “White face, you can eat your wife’s brand bean paste for lunch!”

The hunger and long working hours after excessive physical labor make little Star’s days seem like years. He overcame his cockroach phobia in a fraction of a second — just a few insects or two, but he still managed to suppress his hunger completely.

3

After less than two weeks of such life, xiao Xing suddenly found an egg beside his bed every day.

In the prison, there are not many prisoners who can get eggs every day, but Xiao Xing has no time to think about it. All the eggs that appear at the edge of his bed are quickly swallowed into his empty stomach.

A few eggs after the belly, the little brother of a big man prisoner in prison suddenly find small star: “My eldest brother put the egg here, listen to talk by you eat?”

“I don’t know whose egg it is. I was hungry. I saw it and ate it.”

“Then why the hell don’t you see people eating? Don’t talk nonsense, eat so many eggs, how return?”

In the face of aggressive prisoners, small star conscious loss, temporarily speechless.

“Well, then, when you receive the parcel, you will take it to my boss. When you get the eggs, you will exchange them with my boss.”

Wait and wait in the dark corner of the hall, always surrounded by a small group of people listening to the old man tell stories

The oldest of the prisoners was a jailer who was guilty of hooliganism. It was he who paid off the team leader and assigned xiao Xing difficult tasks to complete every day. He wants to repair small star, have no other reason, it is envious small star every month can receive the parcel that the wife sends.

The egg that small star still does not go up this rogue makes, can receive every month the parcel hand in him “keep”. Although the rogue committed not to open, but to the next day, the little star warm brand shoes have been put on his feet, wife brand bean paste also began to pass in the restaurant, of course, there is no little star.

Small star early have expected, but also can only turn a blind eye, one mind only fantasize about how to raise owe eggs.

In fact, every day the outstanding performance of the prisoners, to get extra meals when the reward will occasionally get eggs, so small star redoubled his efforts to work, soon he became the prison area of steel labor expert, also for the first time because of overcompletion of the work task, received extra meals reward.

But before long, labor big group leader changed a labor post to small star, let him go to powdery wall group to work — the labor task of powdery wall group is not difficult to complete, but this is the kind of work that can not get labor reward forever — small star pays off rascal to make egg possibility, it is more distant and unattainable.

The mortified and difficult day by day copy, the penalty of life is also a bit can break through the possibility, small star in the extreme depression and gray state of mind endure to the end of the year.

At the end of the year, the four prison district in the entire prison’s year-end output value commendation meeting and got the first, the warden decided to give all prisoners a big meal, each prisoner half a salted duck, half a kilo of beef, eight tea eggs.

But when the small star carrying eight tea eggs excitedly to find the rogue, rogue made in public gave him two box on the ear. “Paralysis, what you eat is Lao Tze’s boiled egg, now take tea leaf egg to batter ghost, I see you dizzy of!”

Small star knows rascal make not to want oneself to return him a few eggs at all, he is to intentionally make a person, commandeer oneself parcel. At the moment of being beaten, he made up his mind that the parcel sent by his wife during the Spring Festival must not fall into the hands of a rogue.

4

A few days before the Spring Festival, the prisoners’ mail arrived in large numbers, their sacks wrapped in sellotte-tape, glinting in the vast winter sun in the courtyard of the fourth ward.

The whole upstairs of the fourth ward was filled with prisoners waiting for their names to be called. The prisoners who received the parcels were happy, and the temporary joy seemed to dilute all the pain and suffering in the prison. However, the prisoners who did not receive the parcels, a cold Spring Festival was about to devour all their courage to face the hardships positively.

The small star that every month has a parcel was not read to the name unexpectedly for the first time, seeing the parcel that piles up a yard to reduce one by one, wait until the last parcel belongs to a strange name, small star was immersed in huge lose and worry.

Because in normal months, Xiao Xing’s wife will send him regular mail, should not not send him on such an important holiday as the Spring Festival. Xiao Xing worries that his wife is either ill or in other trouble.

He asked the corrections application for a phone call to inquire about the family situation, the corrections asked him the reason, he said the family did not send him the mail package, it is very abnormal. The corrections didn’t think the reason was good enough, so they turned him down.

small star depressed, several corrections in the dormitory with each other in the parcel to share the local specialties, a prisoner in Tai ‘an took out a stack of paper like pancakes, took half ran to the other prison for his fellow villagers.

When he came back, the prisoner in Tai ‘an was holding a piece of pancake with sauce in his mouth, which immediately alerted Xiao Xing. He inquired where the sauce on the prisoner’s pancake came from, and after some questioning discovered that it was given to him by one of the prisoner’s younger brothers.

Xiao Xing went to find a rogue, one into the prison room he saw his wife sent the mail package, which put five or six bottles of bean paste and some New Year’s nut food.

The original criminals who were in charge of distributing the parcels gave xiao Xing’s parcels directly to the gangsters.

The rascal saw the angry little star and stood up from his bed.

“How dare you, little dork? Want to get the parcel back before the eggs come out? I tell you, I go out before you, you a day eggs are not on, I go out on a day your wife.

In the face of the hoot of rogue, small star did not speak, directly returned to his prison. It is said that he stayed up all night to grind his toothbrush against the wall.

On the last day of work before the Spring Festival, the prisoners’ work was easy and Xiao Gang blew his whistle for the end of work in advance. When the corrections roll call was made, one prisoner was found missing.

Xiao Gang after a search, standing in the back seat of the cement mixer suddenly shouted for help. The prisoners swarmed to find the rogue sprawled on the sand next to the blender, blood running down the floor and forming a sticky, paint-like crust on the thick, dusty floor.

A blue-handled toothbrush was stuck in the back of his neck.

5

Small star was quickly taken away, put in confinement.

Because the discovery is still timely, the rogue picked up a life. Small star because originally is life imprisonment, although nearly killed a person, but also can’t give him to make a sentence again, can only put the time limit of detention to him to do an extension of processing.

Back then, the brig was a tiny space, a bit like a rural concrete chicken coop, where people sat cross-legged and had holes a foot and a half wide in the walls for air and food.

This kind of seclusion is usually confined for three days, and for the most serious crimes for seven days, whereas Little Star is confined for a full 20 days. After 20 days, he was laid up for three or four days before he could stand on his legs again.

But the really terrible thing is far from over.

Although the rascally that is come over by rescue is moved from prison area, but his younger brother is eager to try to be ready to avenge for him.

Because spent a month in the brig, the ability that small star walks independently has not recovered, go out to work again cannot leave him alone in prison room, discipline has to arrange him to lie on a bed board, be carried by 4 small guard every day to go out to work the spot, handcuff hands, lie in the bunkhouse.

The first day, someone took advantage of the small star side nap time, in his bed board spread a pushpin and with angular glass slag. Small star originally weak weak legs instant then full of holes, blood dripping.

The wound was not deep, and the doctor had only done some disinfection, which had been done carelessly, without even dressing it.

The second day after work, small star began to moan in pain on the bed board. discipline inquiry, small star said his legs burning unbearable, discipline then called the doctor to see him.

After a medical examination, he couldn’t diagnose anything, gave Xiao Xing a few painkillers and left.

The doctor was Yu Demin, a little old man in his 50s, who had received a suspended death sentence for counterfeiting, but had been sentenced to 20 years in prison. Yu Demin’s family conditions are good, in prison to find a relationship, mixed with a medical reform post, in fact, there is no medical knowledge itself.

As soon as the effect of the painkiller was over, Xiao Xing started yelling again, and Yu Deming went to feed him a few more painkillers. After a few days like this, the wound in xiao Xing’s legs began to decay and inflammation, high fever day and night.

At that time, there was no night watch system for the prison guards. The prisoners on duty slept in the office outside the prison area, and the prisoners standing on the night watch blew their whistle to wake them up in case of emergencies. But the night watchmen are never conscientious, sleeping more soundly than the average prisoner.

The little star of a high fever all night is on the way to be sent to the hospital the next day already consciousness is not clear, after treatment recovery, his brain appeared irreversible damage.

Etc etc.

The small star after returning to prison area, by convict people call fool, because his mouth always convulses, speak difficult, even have a meal chew to become a problem.

No one sympathized with him, and when the food was distributed, the prisoners deliberately left the hardest steamed buns for Xiao Xing. Because the prisoner must finish the meal within the prescribed time, small star often watched other prisoners stammer through the meal, he just swallowed two or three food.

As soon as the whistle of the work rang, the prisoners will put the food in the hands of the small star into the slop bucket, urging him: eat what to eat, fool to work quickly!

Within two months, Xiao Xing was all skin and bones, and the prisoners began to bet that the fool would never make it to Labor Day.

After the Tomb-sweeping Day, the fallen leaves of the early autumn, which had fallen into the depths of winter, had not yet decayed in the prison, and new branches had covered all the dry branches with a fresh green tapestry.

After a spring, the dying little star, who had been ignored by the prisoners, became fat, and his face gradually returned to its former glory. To the amazement of the prisoners.

The trace that passes make people privately afterwards, just know a whole spring, make doctor Yu Deming to be able to be in everyday repast when, resemble feeding a baby, secretly put food in oneself mouth to chew after one mouthful feeds small star.

Yu Deming was also accused of being a hidden gay man, otherwise how could he have such a disgusting heart? But in any case, the prisoners no longer dare to play with the little star, because Yu Deming is somehow a relative, it is not easy to offend.

For the felons in the four prison areas, the lengthy punishment has already destroyed their remaining sense of morality. What started out as repentance and shame ended up here as hatred — they hated everything because nothing was enough to save them.

And the tragedy of the little star, also because of a serious criminal suspect suspicious self-redemption closed the curtain.

Afterword.

The end of the 1990s, as a result of the prison to readjust the prisoner’s labor production structure, the original four prison area was scattered, because the little star did not have the ability to work was divided into the old disabled prison area, Yu Deming and Lao Gu were assigned in the same prison area.

In the new prison area, Lao Gu and Yu Deming got along after six years, became a good relationship with the inmates, the old consultant yu Deming about small star things, he did not hesitate.

“You think I like guys? When Xiao Xing broke his leg by throwing glass, I knew beforehand. The few prisoners gave me two packs of Red Tashan, told me not to give him a bandage, I see is some skin and flesh injury is no big harm, just turn a blind eye, but I did not expect these guys so ruthless, in the little star bed board coated with strong alkali, this is later I just know. At the beginning, Although I feel guilty, but the reform-through-labor team, you know, people have to force themselves to numb a bit, I am not so bad!”

“To save his life is to give yourself a little conscience. Or really one day out on what support?”