1
It was a very quiet day, I was in a rental house in Baoding, was awakened by a knock on the door.
The person who pounded on the door was my northeastern hometown’s hairy brother Bao Xie.
The first person to go to the city’s first middle school in our village in more than ten years, and the first person to go to university, and is the test to the foot of the Son of Heaven, the capital of Baoding, and with the wishes of a number of villagers, from Baoding College to Hebei University.
I can’t think of a single reason for the arrival of Bao Xie’s brother. He said nervously, “Hey brother, I came here to trouble you for a few days.”
After that, he took a big bag to the house, there are standard high school mattress three pieces, a large box of his, and a lot of fragmented books and Xuan paper. After arranging these things, he dragged me downstairs to eat Chongqing small noodles.
Brother Bao Xie asked for the cheapest 8 yuan mixed noodles, his face was difficult, full of mixed noodles, mumbling: “Brother, I want to get married, looking for a house in Baoding.”
“Ha, I don’t have any money to lend you. Eh? –I thought you were getting married in the Northeast, why are you buying a house in Baoding?” I had a question mark on my face.
Here, the story of Baoxie’s house purchase has to be rewound from the beginning.
He and his girlfriend met during graduate school – both are in the philosophy department, inevitably have to explore philosophy together – the girl is a local Baoding, look elegant and generous, beautiful body stripes, even if not the most pyramidal, but also is definitely to let people see once on the The girl is a native of Baoding, and her looks are so elegant and graceful, and her body is so beautiful that even if she is not at the top of the pyramid, she is definitely one that people will remember. The two people graduated into a local high school as a teacher, are nearly 30 years old, talking about marriage age, mutual affection, it is logical.
In the 2017 schooling season, the freshly minted brother and his girlfriend, as a “young force”, were assigned to do admissions work.
I don’t know when it started, but every year after the midterm exam, most of the best candidates in Hebei province are “pinched” to Hengshui Middle School, leaving a group of “sub-excellent” scattered around the “one middle school”. The rest of the “second best” are scattered around the “first high schools”. And then the rest if not to go to ordinary high school or junior high school, but also want to go through the college entrance examination to 211, 985, you can curve to save the country, choose to learn the arts to go special recruitment. So, Baoding has also become one of the major towns in the province where art students gather.
The high school where Bao Xie is located, formerly a large “art students cultural classes cram school”, relying on the high tuition fees for art students after the start, eager to be among the “upper class schools”, erase their own in people’s minds to engage in the impression of the left way, only non-stop publicity – is in Baoding subordinate counties and cities in front of the junior high school flyers.
The really good schools don’t need to advertise the enrollment set, but the really good schools can’t get in with Bao Xie’s qualifications. The flyers, so that the first time into the community Bao Xie brother feel tired of life, feel really sorry for themselves to go to college for so many years: “that kind of work, to who can do, have to let us do a group of teachers, I really do not feel very decent.”
But his girlfriend seems very comfortable, perhaps she herself grew up here, but also used to the city. In order to highlight her ability to work, Bao Xie’s girlfriend was at the forefront of everything she did, and in Bao Xie’s words, “That was also the first time I felt that flattery could be done without any disguise, and no one would feel disgusted.”
The school’s publicity is one of the senior veteran teachers from other schools to support themselves, these veteran teachers are appointed “director” “principal” and so on, they do not need to go to the front line to preach, just cooperate with a few pictures, but in the school has a lot of say.
“The first thing you need to do is to get a good idea of what you are getting into. There was also a teacher who commented that he looked like a high school student.” Bao Xie brother said while laughing contemptuously, a hand in the air than a circle, red bright cigarette scattered a circular smoke ring.
“People’s mother is the director of the school, the future must receive the highest education, even if it is the top of the entrance examination is not known ah.” I laughed while swinging my hand to fan the smoke.
“You know what, I can’t stand to see them so fucking sneaky!” The brother Bao Xie pondered, and lit up a cigarette, rubbing his nails smoked to yellow. “My family that pussy, take my phone also gave that director liked, commented a what horse’s ass, but also educated me, to adapt to society.”
The director gave birth to a second child, he was also forced to also have to follow the gift – during that time, Bao Xie brother followed a lot of gifts, there are always teachers get married, he had to go, there are always colleagues pregnant, he had to give.
“We both got married before the day, the money can not return, so every time I go to a wedding banquet, I hate to load back some. Your sister-in-law is different, she helps people busy before and after the most active, home after cooking bubble noodles, said pack back not decent.” Bao Xie’s brother finished his cigarette and kept muttering, “Decent …… decent! The most tired work she has to do, she has to sell the most bitter, can get by with things, have to be serious, tigress!”
This is Bao Xie brother’s internal assessment of his girlfriend during that time, can not find any accurate words, is a northeastern adjective: “tiger!”
2
I came out of the noodle shop with Brother Bao Xie, took a walk, and continued to listen to his rant.
“I was in a bad mood during that time, and she moved out of the staff dormitory to take care of my mood, to rent a house with me near the school.” The company’s main business is to provide a wide range of products and services to the public.
“The day the new students officially came, busy, ah, feet hit the back of the head, to meet parents, to distribute leaflets, but also to arrange student dormitory, she has been in front of the school as a day of the signpost and force workers, did not drink a sip of water! The brother Bao Xie’s eyes flowed with intolerance and disdain.
The two of them had a quarrel when they returned to their small home that night. “She asked me to rub her, I rubbed her; she asked me to boil hot water to take a bath, I did; she said to rest today, tomorrow to continue to work, I was on fire! I don’t like it when she’s tired and sore and complains that she has to be at the front of the line the next day, and since she enjoys the feeling of working hard, don’t complain about being tired, like a fool!” Bao Xie brother remembered that night to come, but also fire can not.
This is actually quite normal, many people survive the campus romance think they can be married, but in fact do not know that this practice has just begun, many challenges are still on the road – this can not say that the two people are not suitable, only that in the face of the sudden new life, two people are fighting with their own understanding of life, and it is clear that Bao Xie brother did not keep up with his girlfriend’s speed.
The school leaders call them “the new blood of the school”, but in reality they are being bullied. The school leaders didn’t care about Bao Xie’s cheap labor, they just kept pushing him to run errands to order uniforms from the garment factory and to ask about the logistics of textbooks, one trip a day; old colleagues would ask Bao Xie’s girlfriend to help them write lesson plans on the grounds that they were too old to see, 3 times a week, more than 2000 words a time, I don’t know how many copies.
The two of them just joined the job, can not be a teacher, can only help other teachers “help teach”, watching the one on the stage, obviously not as good as their own, but can not do, this is how frustrating.
The good thing is that in the first year of work, Bao Xie and his girlfriend supported each other to come through, and encouraged each other to comfort each other, “everything will slowly become better”. They both internship training period by virtue of graduate degree, one can take 4,000 yuan salary, a year later after the internship period, the two together should be able to earn nearly 180,000 per year, this expected income, so the two people are secretly planted in the heart to buy a house seeds.
“We both went to the Jinghai New Area in Tianjin after our first paycheck and looked at a large 5-bedroom, 2-room leapfrog”. Bao Xie said he felt at the time that only a house of this grandeur would be worthy of his girlfriend. That afternoon, “the agent took me to see one picture after another, although it was in the 58 same city, but I really felt that everything was true”.
The next year is the new school season, Bao Xie brother’s girlfriend in order to show the school leadership in front of the work ability, in addition to the school leadership in front of the big package, but also like when you go to college, seriously write two plans – let students after the school year to a hike, one in line with the “national fitness” call, the second to the school to do publicity; hiking after, but also a sensational art festival.
“She stayed up all night working on two plans, and I knew we’d be fighting about it.” You know what, the school leaders didn’t even look at them, they just complimented her on how organized she was and gave them all a no.”
That night when he came home, his girlfriend was as tired as last year, but he didn’t do anything.
“She said to me that all this is done for both of us to stand in the school, said the director told her to do a good job for 3 years, let her become the director, into the management. But I think it’s just painting a big picture.” Bao Xie looked at the second school of Huadian, which was passing by, and the couples inside were going out in pairs – and then the situation was really Bao Xie’s words, it was indeed a big cake, but not all of it was empty, because now there are more than 200 employees in that high school, there are more than 50 people in the “management “.
“How can I support her? I also wrote a plan? I knew she was physically and mentally exhausted, and I asked her what she wanted to eat, and she shook her head.” I asked her what she wanted and she shook her head.
The night of the meeting was a breakdown, from work to house. The girl friend relentlessly told Bao Xie brother, Tianjin house is destined to buy can not afford, but marriage and need a house, “the age of 30 years old to start saving money to buy a house, until the birth of children to what age.
The company’s main goal is to provide a better solution to the problem.
“We quarreled all night, and to redeem myself, I bought her a bowl of rice noodles. The problem was the rice noodles, we live in the first central hospital there, takeout froze to the first high school, and then to the first high school branch. At that time it was already very late, we both waited for the delivery on the street, at first she always asked me where I was to where I was, then she did not ask anymore. Waiting for the rice noodles to arrive, I will send the delivery of a scolding, I called to complain, and then cursed and she walked back ……”
Bao Xie brother another long sigh.
“Back home, she expressionlessly pack her things, I did not care, I only remember the rice noodles she did not eat a bite. When I fell asleep, I vaguely heard the door of the room closed, and only when I realized the next morning that she was gone.”
The breakdown of an adult is a momentary one, the comfort of having a girlfriend as a companion makes Bao Xie brother did not think his girlfriend would leave, and for Bao Xie brother girlfriend, that is not really leaving, just fed up with the lack of attention from the leadership, what they care about boyfriend and do not understand, she may just want to hide.
“When I found out she was gone, she had already gone back to Qing Yuan, call is always crying, I wanted to go see her, but she said she wanted to calm down a few days by herself.”
“Calm down for a few days”, let Bao Xie brother at a loss – and this woman married, give her a stable life, I’m afraid that the most important thing right now.
In just one day, Bao Xie suddenly matured, he suddenly wanted to buy a house to place a home for himself. But unfortunately, his first step was the wrong one – he immediately bought a train ticket back to the northeast, intending to see a house in his hometown.
“When I came home, my mother was confused and didn’t know why I came back without the year.” Bao Xie brother said with a few simple smiles.
When Bao Xie told his girlfriend that he had gone back to the northeast and had started to buy a house, I believe his girlfriend might think he was a bit naive – any young man with ambition and ambition would not want to go to a small city in the northeast, not to mention that the girl started as a second tier.
“We have been talking on the phone during that time, at first she only euphemistically said that she did not want to be in the northeast, but for me can; later simply said that the development prospects of the northeast is too bad. In fact, I can understand that she can not let go of the big city and the heart of the hometown, but I feel that she did not think much of me.” Bao Xie brother continued to sigh.
The family is also extremely dissatisfied with the actions of Brother Bao Xie. He had never even brought home a girlfriend before, and now he wanted to get married and buy a house as soon as he came back, which is a reason that does not exist in any place. The family is not a vampire, just ask the family how much money they can use, enough for a down payment on a house in Baoding, but a rural family raising pigs and farming, I’m afraid the savings in the northeast city to buy a house is not enough – better properties are more than 5000 a flat, bad, and Bao Xie brother can not see.
“Then what to do ah, look at the house in Baoding?” I asked.
“Yes, this thing and stumbled almost half a year, before next year, if there is a suitable, really can not loan or something, the next year on the wedding!” Bao Xie brother answered crisply.
3
The company’s main business is to provide a wide range of products and services to the public. The house he rented because less girlfriend share, has checked out, he temporarily live in the house I rented, every day early in the morning to run out to see the house, I am free to accompany him together.
Most of the time, Bao Xie brother is hanging his head to come back, no money is no money, and then the low prices are not open to him, there is just a real estate agent’s phone and spam, bombarded like a mad dog.
Very few real estate agents will take us two poor people to see the house, and even if there is, it is very impatient.
The company has learned a few tricks with friends to look at the plumbing and electrical design of the house “native method”, every house, to people’s kitchens and toilets to drill.
“Eh eh, brother, look at your plumbing design problems ……”
“This waterproofing you do ah, tsk tsk ……”
Bao Xie brother like a big boss smacking his lips, at first, the agent also explained a few sentences, but when these people elite feel clear Bao Xie brother is poor, then also do not explain.
“Sir, if you pay in full, you can participate in the property lottery, the first prize is a car, the second prize is a garage, the third prize is a fuel card, you see ……?” Then it is bent over and bared its teeth waiting for the echo of Bao Xie brother.
The company’s main business is to provide a wide range of products and services to its customers. The first time in my life, I was able to get a full payment.
For the first time in our lives, Bao Xie and I were despised by the service industry. I had no choice but to run away in disgrace. After that time, no price is suitable, never bother the agent to take us to see the house. So then we really didn’t see the house several times.
The last time I looked at a house with my brother Bao Xie was because the sales manager was particularly enthusiastic and invited us to look at it, knowing that we could not afford it. I don’t know if he was impressed by the kindness of the people or if he really had his heart set on it, but for the first time, he felt that the place he was looking for was this one. He was fascinated by the plain chandelier, the toilet on the right hand side of the door, then the living room, straight ahead is the kitchen, and in front of the kitchen is a small hall that can accommodate a refrigerator and table, and the bedroom is in the sun. Everything is so suitable.
On the way back, Bao Xie brother asked me: “Brother, you say the entrance how to design good?”
“Brother, you can’t afford to buy a house with a basement.” I said subconsciously.
Bao Xie brother snickered, eyes looking away, did not speak again.
We have seen the suburbs of Yi County, Mancheng, Zhengding, from the center of Baoding City, Lianchi District, Military Academy Square to Jingxiu Bao Guang (rich area). Lotus County before the village after the 6,000 block of property have seen all over, but still not – that property in the capital ring road highway Lotus exit, the distance from downtown Baoding and to Beijing is not much worse.
Bao Xie brother touched a cigarette and asked me: “You say if I detain my wife here, what is the meaning of this day?”
“This is the only house you can afford, and here is also close to Beijing, you can later brag that you are working in Beijing.” I could only console him with this.
The company’s main goal was to get a lot of people to buy the properties they could not afford and throw them in the trash.
I walked with my brother Bao Xie all the way to Zhuozhou West Station and took a car back to Baoding along National Highway 107. The reality of having no money knocked his dignity into a tinkle, torturing Bao Xie and every ordinary person who does not have the ability to stand out, does not have a family background and is eager to settle down in the big city – there are still a few years, maybe it’s my turn, I also want to buy a house in the big city, but I can’t afford it. Can not afford to buy.
4
In the time when Bao Xie was anxious about the house, a phone call came from his home, his mother was sick and hospitalized with abdominal pain.
Our parents’ generation is very strong, where hard to endure and hold on, but if you go into the hospital, it is basically already suffering very badly.
The two of us were lying in the living room of the house, in the 35 degree summer night without air conditioning and fans, the screen did not block the bugs but blocked the wind. Every now and then a small flying insect crashes into the phone screen – we press it to death and rub it on our bellies. The wind outside blew for a while and stopped for a while, like a man gasping for air.
I asked Brother Pershore, “Are we still going to see the house tomorrow?”
“I’m not going, my ass.” He replied.
The reason for this is particularly appropriate, so that he can escape a little.
In the same noodle shop where he ate Chongqing noodles, Bao Xie drank a lot of wine, held my hand and said, “Brother do you know Russell? Do you know Feuerbach? Do you know Heidegger? Do you know Wittgenstein? You certainly do not know – but they did not teach me how to buy a house ah.”
It’s true, most people are blocked by their mortgage and car loan when they reach the ideal door.
The first philosopher he came into contact with was Russell, because Wang Xiaobo’s essays cited Russell a lot; during the love affair, he and his girlfriend discussed Russell the most. I thought idealism is more than material basis, but I don’t want to be defeated in front of life.
I have a feeling he should not come back, Baoding is nothing worth staying, this time the blow, let me see an idealist in front of me slowly die. Who can accept that what they like is out of reach and has nothing to do with effort? It’s so ironic that it has nothing to do with effort.
Every time we used to return home from Baoding we took the 28.5 yuan ordinary train, wandering for more than 3 hours to Tianjin to change trains. This time, Bao Xie bought the high-speed train directly, he did not have to give up, and then do not give up, he may just want to hurry home, to see how the mother in the end.
After a week, Bao Xie sent me a WeChat asking me what to do about gallbladder infection; after another day, he asked me if I needed surgery for gallstones.
Bao Xie’s mother went to the hospital once before he came home to ask for money to buy a house, and was found to have a H. pylori infection. It was not a big deal, and it just so happened that after she was checked out, Bao Xie went home. The mother is always concerned about her children, she thought who had leaked the news that she had gone to the hospital, was very happy that her son had come back because of filial piety, but as soon as he came back, he asked for money, so the old mother’s heart was half cold. It was only at the time of the review that the bile duct stones were detected.
Brother Bao Xie trembled and sent me many voices.
“Do I have to have surgery for the stones?”
“Can we do it here at home?”
“Is it a major surgery, can it be dangerous?”
I calmed Bao Xie’s brother down and asked him to arrange many tests for my mother, and finally transferred her to Changchun.
“What is ERCP (transendoscopic retrograde cholangiopancreatography), and what is the triplet sign?” The voice sent by Bao Xie was still trembling.
From the examination results, Bao Xie’s mother is a typical bile duct stone, with the triad of “abdominal pain, chills and high fever, jaundice”, increased serum bilirubin, elevated serum transaminases and alkaline phosphatase.
“Don’t be afraid that the hospital will make you spend more money, this situation does require ERCP, to operate is also a minor surgery.” I reassured him again.
At the big hospital in Changchun, Brother Bao Xie was no less panicked than an ant at the foot of a crowd. His mother was quickly operated on, and ERCP was well established and basically not life threatening.
The photo that Bao Xie sent to me again was of his mother lying in a hospital bed, dangling from a yellow bag, the clear yellow bag was not urine, it was bile.
“Brother, my mother, she can not digest what to do ah, do not want to take medicine ah.” Bao Xie brother tone slightly softened a bit.
“Bile is flowing out digestion can be good, you ask the doctor if you can drink bile, if you can then drink it.”
“The doctor told me that you can filter and drink it back, it must be particularly difficult to drink, I was thinking of asking you if you have any good tricks.” The tone of the brother Bao Xie sounded disappointed to the extreme.
“Really can’t drink it to blend some honey.” I said.
Brother Bao Xie called me and asked me why people have stones. I suddenly remembered a case I’d written about but hadn’t seen clinically – there could be roundworm remains, eggs, or Schistosoma capsulatum in the bile duct. Nowadays, with better sanitation, roundworms are basically uncommon, but in older rural women like Bao Xie’s mother, they are still very likely to exist.
After I told Bao Xie my speculation, I added, “I just suddenly thought of it, the chances are too small, not very likely”.
Brother Bao Xie went and found the attending surgeon, and my speculation was confirmed, the stones were indeed knotted together, most likely worm remnants.
Brother Bao Xie called me for another 10 minutes and was silent for 8 minutes, stumbling over one sentence and unable to say a complete sentence. His heart ached for his mother and he deeply regretted and blamed himself for his previous vampire behavior.
After the T-tube is removed, the patient will be left with a hole in his belly, which will grow back on its own. But I don’t know how Pouchet will feel when he sees the hole in his mother’s belly.
5
A month after his mother’s surgery, Bao Xie returned to Baoding, where he cleanly and completely quit his job and severed all his ties to Baoding. I don’t know if this package doesn’t include his girlfriend, how the two of them parted, and if they will be sorry? But I do know that he finally doesn’t have to work so hard to look up to the city’s high buildings, high positions and high prices.
Brother Bao Xie has convinced himself in his heart because he can’t look at his mother’s life savings to put together his little ramshackle house. His mother is getting older and older, following his footsteps more slowly than ever. He allows himself to be a homeless stray dog in the bright lights of the big city, but he cannot allow his mother to be nearly old but help him fulfill his unrealistic dream of the big city – whenever he thinks of the house, the roundworm in his mother’s stomach is biting his conscience.
Love is also awakened by this moment, and perhaps this is the insurmountable class. His mother raised him in a simple village, and he went to the big city and came back to devour her, even if it was because of love, it was still childish, and even if it was a dream, it was still hollow in front of her. The reality is too realistic to allow you to be silly in your ideals and love.
The fact is that the two of them can really live in harmony for the rest of their lives. A girl expecting to have a house in her city is not too much to ask, after all, renting a house for life is too insecure for modern girls – whose fault is it, for fuck’s sake.
Bao Xie brother did not contact with his girlfriend again, I accompanied him back to the northeast, passing through the East City International, that time Bao Xie brother said to me: “three rooms, two halls, two bathrooms, 125 square meters, 1250 a month, I and her in Baoding first set of houses to live!”
“Why two people live in such an expensive ah, and two bathrooms? You two can pull through ah?” I replied contemptuously.
“Because I want her to live well.” The brother Bao Xie looked at the tall building of East City International with deep love in his eyes.
I was sneezing into the wind at that time, just wanting to hurry up and catch the train.
Later, I also had a serious question Bao Xie brother, why did you rent such an expensive house before. He only explained that he did not want to aggravate his girlfriend, and, the first day he lived in, he determined in his mind that the standard of housing for future marriages should be the same.
Indeed, if two people can save 180,000 a year, two years to get a down payment, live in a large house no problem. But I would also like to ask him – have you ever thought that the so-called 180,000, but also the leadership to draw him a big cake.
But the matter has come to this, there is no need to ask. Since then, I have not heard the word love from Bao Xie’s mouth, and I have not heard him talk about his girlfriend.
Before he finally left Baoding, Bao Xie chanted a song called “Haiyan” by Gorky, a legacy of his teaching career and a legacy of his dead dreams and love for the city.
The journey was uneventful, and Bao Xie was still a bit distracted on the train home, but when we arrived home, everything was fine.
It was still early, so we entered the village quietly and watched the pigs in the pen, humming a few times, that is a long-lost sense of security.
Bao Xie’s mother, wearing a faded dress, leaned against the wall of the pig pen with a dung fork in her hand. This pigpen is also different from our childhood, a large pump outside the pigpen, a buzz can be flushed clean, the pig manure directly from the drain into the outside of the large pit, fermented as fertilizer. The chicken droppings all over the floor also seemed to welcome the children home, looking unusually smelly.
As soon as Bao Xie entered the house, he lay down on the bed and started to sleep, with relief written all over his body. When he woke up again, his mother had already prepared a meal of pork stewed with sauerkraut, thickly cut fatty pieces of pork, and a bowl full of garlic paste on the side. The bowl was full of garlic paste.
“If the harvest is good this year, plus the few pigs and sheep sold, there must be enough to make a down payment in the city.” Bao Xie’s mother said, “I found you three masters, three masters to find someone, a flat to give us 4200, you will also be married to your daughter-in-law.”
Bao Xie’s mother leaned against the fire with her clothes that had been leaning against the pigpen, and patted her son’s shoulder with the hand that had held the dung fork, perhaps she hadn’t washed it when she cut the meat, but this was her mother’s hand, and it even reminded me of the “Dayan River”.
“I heard that the price of pork has gone up this year, and we didn’t know it, but we sold it to your second uncle at last year’s price – we are the ones who eat sauerkraut, and we can’t afford to sell 4,000 or 5,000 more to buy back some goodies to eat. After saying that, Bao Xie’s mother was about to go to the kitchen.
The brother suddenly burst into tears: “Mom, I’m not getting married, you keep the money for retirement, I did not break out of your retirement money, I’m not getting married.”
Brother Bao Xie cried so suddenly that the taste of meat in his mouth just melted away the bitterness and fell to the ground covered with dust. His mother hugged him, but could not find a suitable word, but also tearful.
The brother Bao Xie’s mouth still can’t stop saying “Mom, Mom, my son is not getting married, my son is not getting married”.
I looked back at the whole village in my memory, it was about 20 years ago, and here was Brother Bao Xie, saying to a group of us kids: “Know why I am called ‘Bao Xie ‘? The so-called treasure is the jade under the lid, the so-called pavilion, that is a towering platform – in short, I will definitely live in a big house, my mother said, raising pigs is to build a big house.”
A sentence of childish words, as if still in the ears, who would have thought, to go to the big city to fight all the way to the Bao Xie brother, the reputation is actually difficult to match. When the brother Bao Xie certainly can not imagine that the future of the world, the house is to take the pig can not be exchanged.
The only people left in the village were the elderly and children, who came out sparsely and started their day, with a yard growing by the dogwood and sago trees, and a family raised on the stove in the yard.
If a child were to descend on this courtyard one night, would he also run over and say something?
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