38-year-old father: Although I stumbled a lot on the road of life

I’ve been alive for almost 40 years. Living in a city like Paris, where there are many buildings that haven’t fallen down in a thousand years, you can appreciate what “the blink of an eye” means. But it’s still amazing to me that I’ve lived so long, I thought my life was just beginning.

I don’t usually take birthdays very seriously, but it always gives me a chance to reflect. I’d like to share some of my experiences with you, even if it’s to give some guidance to the first born. Although they will stumble as often as I have in life, I hope this article will be a light for them.

Chloe, Justin, Rain, Maia, Seth and Noelle, this one is for you. I’m sorry for the long-windedness.

  1. Don’t let pride stop you from apologizing.
    Refusing to apologize for the sake of pride is never a good idea, and it’s not good for your relationship.

2, the things outside the body is not only useless, they are even harmful.
They don’t enhance the value of your life, but they cost you a lot. You not only have to spend money, but also spend time and travel expenses to buy, and then to maintain them, but also to worry about them, to insure them, repair, etc..

3, slow down, don’t rush.
The slow life is interesting.

4, “the goal” is not as important as you think.
Try doing something aimlessly for a week, and you will find that you have done a lot of good things. And do not have to manage the goal, you will leave behind some of the rules and regulations in life. No goals you will be more relaxed, but also more free to choose your original did not see the practice.

  1. Live in the present.
    All our worries and planning for the future, as well as memories of the past, are just in the brain to prevent us from cherishing the present. Leave those behind, focus on what you are doing at the moment. This way, no matter what you do the mood is calm.
  2. When children demand your attention, always satisfy them.
    Treat your children wholeheartedly, do not feel that they interrupt you and feel bored, to thank them for reminding you to spend more time for your loved ones.
  3. Don’t get into debt.
    This includes card debt from credit cards, student loans, home loans, personal loans, and car loans. We think these are useful, but they’re really not at all. They produce more distress than they bring benefits, and they can ruin lives and make us pay far more than we get. Do not spend more than you earn, first earn enough money to buy.

8, I’m not cool, but I don’t care.
When I was young I wasted too much energy trying to look cool. Throw away this idea will be even better, just do yourself.

9, the only real marketing, is the product itself is good.
If it’s good, your customers will promote it for you. All other marketing techniques are just fooling around.

10、If what you have to say can’t be made public, don’t send it out by email or SMS.
In this digital age, you don’t know what will be made public.

11, people can not be motivated, you can at best only use their own actions to inspire them.
Those who think they can use behavioral science or management skills to motivate others have not been well motivated by so.

  1. If you find yourself blindly following the crowd, turn around quickly.
    They also do not know where they are going.

13、You will miss a lot of things, but that’s okay.
We care too much about trying to do everything, experiencing all that we should experience, not missing anything important …… As a result we forget that we can’t actually do every single thing. The reality is that we are doomed to miss most things. We can’t read every good book, see every good movie, visit every great city in the world, eat at every great restaurant, and meet every great person. But let me tell you a secret: life would be better if we didn’t try to do everything. Learn to enjoy every moment of life, you will find that life has become incredibly beautiful.

  1. You can learn the most from your mistakes.
    Do not be afraid to make mistakes, but try not to make the same mistakes again and again.

15, failure is the mother of success.
Without experiencing failure, we do not know how to succeed. You should try to fail, not in the fear of trying to avoid failure.

16, rest is far more important than you think.
We all work too hard, forget to rest, the result gradually hate work. In the gym you often see, come to train for a marathon race people wear themselves out, because they do not know how to make the tight muscles and joints to recover. Those who are overly serious, in fact, do not understand that after the exertion, a break can make them more powerful.

17, the real pleasure.
Few pleasures can be compared to reading a good book, a relaxing walk, a warm hug, or having a good friend. And all of these do not have to spend money.

18, exercise is not a quick fix.
It’s a long learning process that builds up over time. I’ve been exercising consistently for five years, and there’s still a lot to do and learn. But the results I’ve gotten have been amazing and the process has been great.

  1. The destination is only a small part of the journey.
    We care so much about the goal and the future that we miss the beauty of the road. If all you have in your eyes is the final goal, you’ll only be happy when you reach it. Then you have to start worrying about the next goal again.

20、A good walk can solve a lot of problems.
Want to lose weight and slim down? Go for a walk. Want to spend nothing and have a good time? Go for a walk. Want to eliminate stress and clear your head? Go for a walk. Want to meditate and enjoy the moment? Go for a walk. Have a problem with life or work? Go for a walk, and you’ll clear your mind.

  1. Leave your expectations behind.
    If you have expectations about someone, about an experience, about a vacation, or about a book, you’ve put a premise on it that is disconnected from reality. You saddle the person or thing with a fantasy and then try to make reality fit your fantasy, which often ends in disappointment. What you should do is to experience reality for what it is, taste it for what it is, and be happy about it.
  2. It is more blessed to give than to receive.
    Don’t pray for a return when you give, so that your good deeds will be more pure and beautiful. We often expect the same in return when we give, or at least a little gratitude or praise. Try to put this aside and simply give.

23, competition is rarely as useful as cooperation.
Our society encourages competition, cut-throat warfare, survival of the fittest, etc., etc. But humans should cooperate to maintain the continuation of the species, and cooperation can integrate resources so that everyone has something to contribute. Teamwork requires another set of skills, but it’s definitely worth the effort to try.

24、Contentment will always be happy.
We are always dissatisfied with life and want more because we don’t understand what we have. Instead of always seeing what you don’t have, stay grateful for what you have been given, including the people you love, simple pleasures, a healthy body and good eyesight, music and books, the beauty and creativity of your personality, and everything in between them. Be grateful every day.

  1. Compassion for other beings is more important than your own pleasures.
    Many people love the taste of meat and cheese so much that they turn their noses up at vegetarians, but these people are actually putting their own appetites ahead of the suffering of other animals. Eating lacto-ovo vegetarian (or even all-vegetarian) can definitely keep you healthy, so killing or abusing animals is unnecessary. Having compassion will allow you to live a more satisfying life than ignoring the suffering of other beings.
  2. Eating habits can be changed.
    I used to think I couldn’t eat without meat, but I slowly cut back on it and now I don’t miss the taste of meat at all. I also once thought I could not live without junk food, such as candy, fried snacks, nachos, all kinds of unhealthy things. But now I’d rather eat fresh berries or natural nuts. It’s bizarre that our eating habits have changed so much, but it’s also amazing.
  3. Be creative.
    The world is full of all kinds of things that attract your attention, but not much can be as important as creativity. As a writer, there is nothing as critical as creativity. Creativity is one of the few things that gives meaning to my life. When you want to do something, put aside all other influences and put your creativity to good use.
  4. Have a vision.
    Often we worry or get angry because we’ve lost our vision. In the grand scheme of things, the problem you’re having right now is nothing, and the thing that’s causing the argument is insignificant. Put it aside and continue to do what needs to be done.

29、Don’t sit down all the time, you will sit out of the problem.
Get up and move, dance, run, go play a little.

30、Use the magic of compound interest.
Invest early and let it increase in value like alchemy. Save a little to live, don’t eat, try to save and then invest in mutual funds and watch them grow in value.

31、Figure out the information you receive, and then question it.
The information taught in school and delivered by various media (news, movies, books, magazines, internet) has a worldview that we have to cater to. Figure out what that worldview is, and then question it. Think about the alternatives and then test them. Here’s a hint: Companies put all kinds of influence in their information sources. Another hint: Read Noam Chomsky.

  1. Learn to think differently.
    We often judge others easily. You should put yourself in their shoes and try to understand what they are doing. First assume that if we can understand what they are going through, we will know that they have a good reason for what they are doing. If you know how to think differently, your life will become better.
  2. Do less.
    Most people want to do too much. Their lives are filled with to-do lists, and then like a robot to get it done one by one. Put aside the list and think about what is really important. Don’t be a machine, just do what you like and do it well.
  3. Parents don’t know what they’re doing.
    We all pretend to know a lot and then hope we’re doing it right. Some people get hung up on the details and end up having no fun. I just hope I don’t mess up too badly, let my kids know they are loved, enjoy the time I have with them, let them see that life is fun, and that it doesn’t prevent them from growing up to be good people. They would have been great.
  4. There are many kinds of love.
    I love my children without reservation and more than I could ever imagine. I have a different way of loving each child, and I know that each of them is perfect.
  5. Life is very short.
    You may think you have a long time to live, but time passes faster than you think. Children grow up so fast that they seem to be rushing behind you, and you are full of hair before your responsibilities are off. Enjoy every moment of your life.

37、Fear will try to stop you.
Doubt will also try to stop you. Self-doubt and fear will keep you from trying to do something great, from engaging in new adventures, from creating new things for the world to see. Such thoughts can be so ingrained in your subconscious mind that you won’t even notice. Beware of these fears and doubts, shine a demon mirror on them, cut them to pieces, and feel free to do it, because they are not right.

  1. I still have a lot to learn.
    The only thing I’ve learned now is that I know almost nothing, and what I think I know is usually wrong. There are still many lessons to be learned in life, and I look forward to them.