In real life, people unconsciously feel good or in awe of people who are tall and deep in appearance. Why? Because many people say that such people look very mature, where the maturity is mainly psychological maturity. We also hear this talk, so-and-so outside how, in fact, inside with the children like. Especially in love, both boys and girls most still hope they can find a psychologically mature person as their lover. The actual fact is that there are four practical criteria for determining whether or not a person is psychologically mature.
How can you tell if a person is psychologically mature? This is a question that many people would like to know. According to the task of psychological maturity proposed by the American psychologist Herwester, there are typically four practical criteria as follows.
I. “Looking” at the opposite sex
Maturity in marriage: Rational consideration and choice of marriage partner, and the beginning of preparation for independent family life; the ability to act in appropriate gender roles. In practical terms, this means that one is not too concerned with the other person’s opinion of oneself when dealing with the opposite sex, nor is one overly contemptuous or averse to the other person.
Young people, especially teenagers, may blush and be at a loss when meeting the opposite sex, because young boys and girls do not have a thorough understanding of the opposite sex, so they are full of curiosity and mystery. In addition, there are some people who do not lose their cool, but pay special attention to their appearance and demeanor, subconsciously behaving themselves to gain the attention of the opposite sex, which indicates that they attach too much importance to the approval of the opposite sex, and may also put unstable factors such as attraction and passion above stable factors such as intimacy and commitment in their love relationships. Some people, a “man is not a good thing” or “woman is a fertility machine”, probably because the speaker has not healed the “dark wounds” in his heart. These are not mature enough to show.
Second, deny yourself
Self-identity maturity: accept their own bodies and looks; not overly flaunt their strengths, but also not overly cover up their weaknesses, to maximize their potential. Starting from adolescence, people’s self-awareness begins to rapidly awaken, develop and grow, when the tendency of self-centeredness may appear. By the age of 16 or so, the idea that one is the most unique and important gradually decreases, but some people are still plagued by it in their twenties and thirties, for example, when they have an argument with their friends, they are obviously wrong but also “die hard”, when they fight with their partners, they are unwilling to give in, and when they encounter setbacks, they blame bad luck and the world is unfair, but they do not look for their own The reason.
Learn to be tolerant
Maturity in interpersonal relationships: to be able to establish harmonious interpersonal relationships with peers in daily life, including friends of the same sex and friends of the opposite sex. As the proverb says, “Guan Gong released Prime Minister Cao, so a husband should have tolerance for others. It is a symbol of psychological maturity. Tolerance refers to the tolerance and understanding of human flaws, and the understanding that “no one is without fault”, so “let’s be forgiving”.
Fourth, the importance of simplicity
Maturity of thinking pattern: the ability to meet the standards required as a citizen in terms of knowledge and concepts; the ability to establish one’s own values and morals in terms of personal behavior. For the cognitive realm, returning from complexity to simplicity is like returning from “seeing the mountain is not a mountain, seeing the water is not water” to “seeing the mountain is a mountain, seeing the water is water”. Some people like profound truths, but they are in fact following the experiences and values summed up by others, and they are still in the stage of learning from and referring to them, until they can independently establish their own experience system, and then they will like the simple truths in ordinary life.
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