She is 37 years old, after she quit her job.

My friend Youjia left a company at the age of 31 and went to a private listed company for 6 years. She is smart and capable, working smoothly, and is well received by leaders at all levels. Daily and diligent maintenance, almost 40 years old, she still looks like 30 years old, and even often new male colleagues inquire behind her back whether she has a boyfriend.

After staying in a company for a long time, it was like entering a comfort zone, and even though more people outside were screaming about the “35-year-old crisis”, Yu Jia felt that she was still far away. So when that career dilemma came to her, she chose to leave her job again without much hesitation as the brand manager at that time.

At this time, Yuja was 37 years old, and she was not unprepared for the fact that she could not find a job for a while, but she did not expect that she would not be able to find a job for a year and a half after she resigned. Sometimes she would ask me in a slightly desperate way, “I’m never going to find a job in this life, am I?”

Here is her story, as told by Yuja.

1

In September 2019, Lao Yang called me and asked me to go out for a late night snack. When I was concentrating on the juice dripping from the crawfish on my hands, Lao Yang said, “I’m going to leave in two months, so I’ll tell you in advance, so you can make plans early.”

This news is really quite sudden, but not too unexpected. I raised my head to look at him, the old Yang’s face can not see any emotional ups and downs, only the eyes drifted into the distance, “you also know that this day will eventually come, I just feel a little sorry for you, I left, your days are not easy.

Lao Yang is the vice president of the regional branch of the group in charge of the market, but also my direct supervisor. From the first day I joined the company, I worked under him, I also tried to protect myself and not to stand in line, but after a few sufferings, I found that this method does not work, so I chose to follow Yang’s team, this is several years.

In 2018, I was 36 years old and Yang was 48 years old, both in their birth years. In the New Year, I went to the temple and begged myself a “nothing card”, and Lao Yang knew about it and laughed at me for being superstitious, yet it turned out to be a bad year for both of us.

Old Yang and Zhu, another executive of the group, had been at odds and had been fighting openly and secretly for many years. Previously, Yang had always had the upper hand, but this year, the big leader was uncharacteristically biased in favor of Mr. Zhu, which made Yang, who was used to being strong, very depressed.

Privately, he has shown me several times want to leave the idea, I tried to discourage, one is for his relief, the second is out of selfishness – in this company, the old Yang is the most I can rely on people, if he left, my life will not be easy.

By the middle of the year, the situation was finally clear. Three days later, an announcement was made that Yang would be transferred to a new business unit, and Mr. Zhu would take over his work. Everyone could see that this transfer order was an explicit promotion and a concealed demotion, but I had no other choice – after staying in the company for a long time, I was regarded by everyone as Lao Yang’s right hand man, and my body had already been marked with a “label”, so I couldn’t stay in the old department.

When I and 3 other colleagues followed Yang to the new department, our work was more difficult than we thought, and some unseen resistance would always bind our hands. Work is not smooth, people are also bored, working overtime until 12 pm, traveling six or seven times a month is common, catching up with the program until 3 am is not uncommon, all on one breath to hold on.

This year, I saw the old Yang more and more silent, temper is getting bigger and bigger, smoking more and more aggressive. So, when he told me he was determined to leave, I really wasn’t too surprised.

At the end of November 2019, Yang officially left the company, and several of his old men were swept away. Mr. Zhu told me that I was welcome to return to my original department, but on the condition that I would be responsible for the market in another city — which meant traveling at least 3 or 4 days a week.

In fact, I had been looking for a new job since Yang had told me, but nothing had been suitable. If I didn’t accept Mr. Zhu’s offer, I had no way out. I was indecisive and asked Lao Yang’s opinion, but he did not say no, his expression flickered and asked me what I was going to do.

I hesitated: “I don’t want to go, it’s meaningless to go back this way, and Mr. Zhu is not a broad-minded person, he may not really treat me well, and my life will not be easy.”

Old Yang was silent for a while and said, “That’s good, you can take a break for two months.”

Think about it, I have been working since I graduated from college at the age of 22. Although during the job hopping several times, but also in advance to find a good next home. I never thought that I would experience a “naked resignation” when I was almost 40 years old.

In December, I officially left the company where I had worked for 6 years. Not long after, Yang told me that he would bring me over when he was settled in the new company. I smiled and thanked him, thinking: I wonder if this is another test of his “loyalty” to me.

2

With Lao Yang’s words, I didn’t panic when I was looking for a job, and I chose carefully. I never expected that the epidemic would come first, instead of waiting for Lao Yang’s arrangement.

By the spring of 2020, Yang called me and apologized that he might not be able to bring me there because the industry had been hit hard by the epidemic and the new company had frozen all hiring plans.

Yang was a man who refused to show weakness easily, but there was a flash of weakness in his tone that day, and I guessed that he was probably in a bad situation too. I forced a smile, in turn, to comfort him: “It’s okay, even if there was no program from your side, I was not going to stay there.”

Hanging up the phone, I dropped myself into a chair and let out a long breath. I can’t say what I felt in my heart, the glimmer of hope that seemed to be there, finally burst like a soap bubble. However, I didn’t panic too much and told myself to take a long vacation and spend time with my children without any distractions.

During the first 10 years of my son’s life, I thought I wasn’t a particularly devoted mother because I was so busy with work, and deep down I owed him a lot. Before my son was 3 years old, he lived at his grandmother’s house most of the time and only came home on weekends. After he started school, I picked him up from school only a few times because I left work too late. And various parent-child activities, I basically have not participated in.

When my son was in the second grade for his first spring trip, looking at his eager eyes, I couldn’t resist taking a leave of absence from work and volunteering as a parent. But during the whole spring trip, I kept answering phone calls and falling in line, and even when it got hot at noon, my son’s sweater was taken off with the help of other mothers.

After that, my son never asked me to participate in his school’s activities again.

After April, Wuhan started to resume work one after another, but primary and secondary schools never resumed classes, and students were at home in Internet classes. My husband, Tang Lei, and I discussed that we should wait for the epidemic to stabilize a bit before we went out to look for a job, and I reassured myself that companies would be lucky not to lay off workers in this situation, and that there would be no recruitment plan. In the end, we decided that I would stay at home to take care of my son during this period of time, and after school started in September, I would consider looking for a job again.

This was probably the longest time we had spent together since my son was growing up. During that time, he used to hum with excitement when he was at home. But after spending time together, it didn’t take long for me to realize that this parent-child time was not as good as I thought it would be.

In the past, I did not control my son’s study so carefully, but now I am next to him every day to accompany him to the Internet class, do homework, only to find that he has so many bad habits: doing homework in two minds, dawdling; problem solving habits are not standardized, many basic knowledge points are not firmly grasped; for him to study on the tablet computer also secretly installed a number of games… …

Tang Lei did not take my anxiety seriously, thinking that boys are already “waking up” late, and it would be better if they grew up a bit more. I was excited by what he said instead: “You don’t know the danger of not laying a solid foundation and not developing good habits, do you? Now the academic performance is okay, but that is only because the current knowledge is too easy, in another two years, if still like this, fall down is just a matter of minutes!”

There is no conclusion to the argument, only on their own, I even moved the idea – the two years temporarily not to look for a job, first put out at least a year to devote energy to my son’s “primary school”.

This idea is not a whim, from college to now, more and more female friends around me choose to be full-time mothers. From preparing for pregnancy to accompanying students, it seems that there are always people who wave their hands away from the “working woman” track.

“Well, it’s not like I can’t do it, right?” I thought.

In the fall, when school finally started, my anxiety gradually eased and my urge to be a full-time mom subsided without me realizing it, but my real-life considerations grew.

Tang Lei understood my hesitation and reluctance, but he never said anything. Until one day before going to bed, he suddenly turned his head to look at me and said: “If you feel that this is an important stage for your child, and you want to give your full attention to tutoring him, then you can stay at home with your child, and you don’t have to worry about money; if you still feel that you can play your strengths better at work, then you should not think too much about it. The child has his own path to success, not necessarily to give up your own work to complete. No matter what you decide, I’ll support you, just think about it.”

He spoke as if carelessly, but my tears flowed down.

3

I made up my mind and started looking for a job again. After the decision was made, I seemed to feel a late panic: I had been idle at home for so long.

I contacted a few old colleagues with whom I had a good relationship, as well as a few familiar peers, and asked them if they had any suitable job introductions. My old colleague Sun Jun was surprised and blurted out, “You haven’t been working?” After a pause, seems to be aware of what, lowered his voice to add: “You did not go with the old Yang? So long no news of you, we thought you followed the old Yang left, do not want to contact us.” I laughed dryly twice, not knowing how to answer. Sun Jun thought about it and said he would keep an eye out for me, and I was busy saying thank you.

The company’s marketing department has heard that there is a shortage of people, also at the manager level, but the salary is not high, I wonder if you are interested.”

Wang Xuan has been working in a joint venture company for more than 10 years, and in the early years, she often listened to her company’s various benefits, just two years into the company, she was rewarded as an excellent employee of the year, but also “10 countries in Europe tour”. However, in recent years, she has been complaining about the company, such as working overtime on weekends for as little as one day or as much as two days. At most, the company counted a little overtime pay symbolically, or made up one day off per month.

Later, when friends met for dinner, Wang Xuan was either working overtime or shouting that she was tired and didn’t want to go out and just wanted to catch up on her sleep. Even on the rare occasion that I saw her, I only saw her face tired.

I once said, “A large joint venture company like yours should be more standardized, how come it’s like a private company?”

Wang Xuan replied to me breathlessly, “A leek is a leek, don’t think you’re not a leek just because you grow by the ridge.”

Therefore, I have never had much good feeling about her company, and when I asked again, the salary of that position was nearly 30% lower than my original salary. I hesitantly asked her if I could go for a transition first, “Can I ride a donkey to find a horse?”

Wang Xuan paused for a while before speaking, saying that if that was the case, I was advised not to go. Their company is a bonus for internal promotion, last quarter, a colleague pushed a newcomer, the newcomer left after 3 months of work. After that, the colleague was pulled over by HR to ask repeatedly, and said she was just for the 1500 yuan push bonus, “If you just want to do a transition, don’t hurt me ……”

I was dumbfounded, Wang Xuan also followed the laugh. It didn’t take long for Sun Jun to get back to me, and she directly dumped me a screenshot of her conversation with the company’s HR, who said that 30 years old is too old.

Sun Jun was silent for a long time, not making a sound. I looked up at the night sky outside the window, I can not say what feeling.

I thought of the headhunter again. The last time I dealt with headhunter Sisi was 4 years ago, she recommended me a well-known company in the industry, but I refused to see the requirement to work in the first year of “long-term overseas”.

At that time, Xixi said to me without regret, “Jia, I can understand you, but this is really a great opportunity, maybe the best one in your career afterwards.”

At that time, I didn’t understand what I meant, but I thought that as long as I was strong enough and experienced enough, even if I missed this opportunity, I would still be afraid of not having better opportunities in the future. In retrospect, at 34 years old, I was really stupid.

Later, Xixi will talk to me less work, except for the occasional group holiday congratulations, seems to have disappeared from my life – not only her, several other headhunters with whom I have had encounters, also unknowingly faded out.

I hesitated for a moment, but took the initiative to contact Sisi and sent her my latest resume. But she has always been quick to respond, but this time there was a delay. The next morning, I saw her voice reply in the dead of night: “Sister Jia, I will help you keep an eye on it, but you should not hold too much hope. One is that our industry has really suffered a serious setback, and there are very few companies with recruitment needs; second, honestly, our current situation is still slightly embarrassing. Your industry experience is really rich, but for the brand, 30 + is enough, creative, physical, experience, but also can work overtime, the main thing is the low salary requirements and good management. For the 35 +, if you achieve the director level, the road may be a little wider, our situation, slightly more trouble. I will help you pay attention, you also go to the market to cast a resume, we double-drive it.”

I listened to Xixi’s wordy voice several times over, and could understand the meaning behind it: you have no advantage, why do people want you? After thinking about it, I dialed Xixi’s phone and it rang for a long time before she answered.

I was a little embarrassed, but I still asked her: “I can’t, cross-industry can also be, do marketing, in fact, many ideas are common.”

Cixi’s voice was soft: “Across the line, job responsibilities still change quite a lot, I’ll keep an eye on it for you.”

I hung up the phone in frustration, understanding that she had a point. The company I worked for before was already relatively mature, so my daily work was more oriented towards brand management, corporate image output and communication. If you cross the line, the requirements for brand or marketing managers are different, some want to B, some focus on government relations, some do channels, some favor PR activities …… and all these, my experience is not involved in much.

I’m a little annoyed, in the old Yang under the free days for a long time, I did not plan for a rainy day. The so-called experience and experience, to today is actually more just mechanical repetition, did not add a trace of core competitiveness to their own.

I looked at the flash drive lying in the drawer, which has a variety of activities I have done in the past 6 years, and my heart and soul to write the market analysis, industry reports. I once thought those efforts are valuable assets, but now it seems that it may not be worth mentioning.

4

I haven’t opened the job site for almost 7 years, and I turned my head to Tang Lei and said, “The last time I looked for a job, the job site was still a web version, but now it’s an APP.

There is a saying, “If you still need to rely on job sites to find a job after you turn 35, it only proves that you are a failure in the workplace.” I used to agree, but when I actually opened the job board to “perfect my resume”, it stung me like a needle.

I updated my recent work experience, set my target position and salary expectations, and the site quickly pushed me a bunch of job requirements. I took a general look at the jobs that were sent to me, and the job duties really matched my previous work experience, and the salary was not too low, so I couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief – it seemed that the market situation was not as bad as I thought.

I was very cautious in submitting my resume. When I saw the job information I was interested in, I first searched whether the company was reliable, then I looked at the size of the company, and then I looked at the recruitment conditions – I didn’t go for those who didn’t have a double break, I didn’t go for those with low salary, and I didn’t go for those who were far away. As a result, only 3 resumes were submitted after one night.

Half a month later, the resumes were sunk in the sea, I began to lower the requirements, as long as the job duties look like the right number, as long as the treasure to throw a resume out. But the situation didn’t change much, either no one responded to my resume, or the other party replied to me directly in the dialog box of the APP: “Sorry, we only consider those under 30 (or 35) years old.”

Over the course of two months, I interviewed with four or five companies, most of which talked well with each other and killed all the way to the “final interview”, and then inexplicably ran out of steam. There is a well-known company in Wuhan, the final interview with the CEO, has finished talking about the salary, the probationary period, the start-up time, etc., when leaving, the CEO also shook hands with me while smiling and said later on will let HR send me an offer, who knows this wait but no news.

The HR, who had been so enthusiastic before, became evasive and said that the boss was away on a business trip and would send me news when he came back with specific details. I hung up the phone in dismay, knowing in my heart that there should be no more.

When my friend found out, he said lightly, “Not surprisingly, maybe I met a more suitable candidate than you. In the current employment environment, as long as they are not so good that they are hot, there are more suitable people than you. Maybe they are younger than you, maybe they ask for less than you, maybe they can take overtime better than you.”

I was gloomy — indeed, every company I interviewed with asked about my family situation and whether I could handle overtime and travel. After being asked until I was numb, I answered by rote: “I don’t live with the elderly and take care of my own children; I can accept occasional overtime and business trips, but I can’t accept regular overtime and long business trips.”

My friend laughed: “Do you know how many people can PK you with this last one?”

I also laughed, and after laughing, we were silent together.

My friend suggested that we should show our determination during the interview, saying that the children can be left to the elderly and that it is okay to work overtime and travel at any time. I thought about it for a long time, but I still felt that even if I could get a job this way, I couldn’t let go of my children when they needed me. Moreover, I never said no to overtime, and I even made it clear to the interviewer every time that I could accept overtime work initiated by specific projects or tasks, but I didn’t want it to be purposeless and consuming. At our age, looking for a job is a two-way choice, and I don’t want to lie and end up in a company that I don’t approve of. Otherwise, with my personality, I wouldn’t stay long even if I got in. It’s better to make it clear at the beginning.

My friend nodded and said with a smile, “Actually, it’s useless even if you vote, people can guess that you won’t be willing to work overtime when they see you have a 10-year-old child.”

One day, an interview invitation popped up on the APP, but the notice only stated the time and place of the interview, and there was no other information.

I was a bit unhappy: shouldn’t HR first communicate with the candidate to discuss a mutually convenient time for the interview? What should I do if a candidate is not available at a convenient time when I send a notice like this?

Although I obviously felt disrespected, I couldn’t care less about these details now. I arrived on time at a nice five-star office building and followed the receptionist inside. Looking at the environment, the company was quite formal, which made me feel slightly better. I was greeted by a personnel specialist, who, in addition to the information sheet to be filled out, also took out a paper. I took a cursory glance at it, an A4 paper with dense quiz questions on the front and back. Within 5 minutes of sitting down, another girl sat down next to me, holding the same paper as mine. We both nodded and smiled at each other as a greeting.

It took me more than 40 minutes to finish the paper and handed it to the HR specialist. She asked me if I had brought my diploma and education certificate, and I was slightly stunned: “Ah, do I need to bring this for the first time?”

The other party laughed lightly and said that the interview invitation was a reminder. I took out my phone, and only then did I notice that it was written in the “Remarks” column of the notice.

“Then you can go back and get it and come back.”

I froze: “But my home is quite far away from here, and it takes at least an hour and a half to come and go, so I can communicate with you initially now, and if we think we can get to know each other better, I can bring it next time.”

The other party was not impressed and said no. If you can’t make it, you can go home first. If I can’t make it, I’ll go home first this time and they’ll reschedule the interview for me, “We are a public company, and you should know that public companies are very standardized and are not qualified to enter the interview without an academic audit.” The young face floated with a proud look and said “public company” with special weight.

The girl next to her heard the voice also came over and said she also did not bring, “Which is the first time to let people bring these ah, this also belongs to the privacy, right, talk about the need to do the back transfer before joining, right?”

The personnel specialist said coldly that he would keep our papers and let us go back first. I was a little upset, and forced to communicate with my emotions, but the other party turned a deaf ear, and just kept repeating like a robot: “No, we are a listed company, and listed companies are very strict in this regard, there is no way to enter the interview process without qualification.”

I was a bit exasperated. I checked the company’s information before coming, although it is indeed a public company, but both the size, popularity and business scope are extremely ordinary. I wanted to say, “Little girl, don’t you know that there are different kinds of public companies?” But then I dismissed the thought – there was no need to be verbal at a time like this.

I steadied my mind and asked in a low voice, “Is it true that there is no way to arrange an interview today?” I thought to myself, if I leave today, I don’t have to come back next time. I don’t know if I saw my expression unhappy, the other party paused and said let us wait a moment, she went to ask the personnel manager.

“What’s the point of coming to an interview without a degree? An angry voice rang out from the office next door. After that, the voice dropped again, not knowing what it was saying.

The girl next to me and I looked at each other and talked in a low voice. She was interviewing for a marketing manager, just like me, but the difference was that she was only 28 years old and currently employed. After hearing my situation, she was slightly surprised: “You’re brave, it takes courage to quit naked at this time.”

We didn’t have time to talk more, but once again, a voice came out of the office: “Let them in, together.”

We froze at the same time, but we didn’t slow down and walked into the office together. Behind the desk sat a lady, not old looking, thick eyebrows and big eyes, very strong look.

We both stood still, she still stared at the screen, hands flying tapping the keyboard, without looking up, issued a cold question: “How do you interview even the most basic proof of education do not bring? Are all the people who come to seek employment now so unprofessional?”

I didn’t say anything, the girl next to me opened her mouth, “I’m sorry, because the companies I’ve interviewed with before never asked me to bring my education certificate for the first time, so I neglected to do so.”

The personnel manager’s eyes sank and his hand stopped: “Just because no company has asked for it before, does that mean we don’t need it either? That can only mean that the companies you have interviewed before are too poor, like us, a listed company, the qualification examination are very professional.”

I frowned and listened with growing displeasure, and was about to open my mouth to retort when the girl spoke up before me: “How is your company ‘professional’? Two interviewees are scheduled to interview at the same time, is the other interviewee to wait dry? Isn’t staggering the time the most basic thing? Is the job seeker’s time not time?”

The personnel manager’s face showed a flash of annoyance, finally stopped what he was doing, looked up at us, and raised his chin at the girl: “Why are you still wearing the mask? Take off the mask, let me see what you look like — you know, we are a public company, public companies are very high requirements for the image of employees!”

I looked sideways at the girl, a little curious about how she would react. Without a moment’s hesitation, the girl raised her head slightly: “I’m sorry, I don’t think I meet your company’s requirements, good luck finding a more suitable employee than me.”

After saying that, she turned around and left, I looked at her, she also turned her head to look at me, her eyes seemed to shout at me to go together. I hesitated for a moment, my heart had followed her steps, but my feet could not move.

The personnel manager looked at her back with slight surprise, and after a moment withdrew her gaze to look at me. We both stared at each other for a few seconds before she suddenly spoke, “When you come to the retest next Monday afternoon, remember to wear a pair of high heels, you and the needs of this position are just a pair of high heels away.”

I froze and cast a puzzled look at her. She grinned and said that the boss had high height requirements for female employees, which had to be over 1 meter 65.

“Did you just inform me to come for a retest next Monday?”

She nodded and went on to tell me what kind of clothes to wear for the next retest, praising my hair and makeup. I couldn’t help but interrupt her, “Is there anything you need to know more about me?”

She shook her head and said no, “Your work experience is on your resume, and what just happened was a test. I think you have a calm personality, good communication skills, and–” She turned her head and glanced at my densely written paper. “Good handwriting too, I’m sure you’ll be an excellent employee.” After a pause, she added: “This position you applied for is very important, the boss attaches great importance to it, and several of the previous recruits did not stay, but I believe you can definitely do well.”

I was torn for a long time about whether to go to this company. I really envy the girl who turned her head and left, if a few years ago, I would probably do the same. However, I don’t know when my sharpness faded away.

On Monday, I still went to the retest. After meeting the boss, in addition to a brief self-introduction, the whole time he was talking about his personal and corporate “struggles”. For half an hour, I didn’t say more than 10 sentences, but I already knew where his hometown was, his parents’ occupation, how much wealth he had prepared for his children, and he even talked about how the company had avoided the conventional process to go public.

At the end of the interview, the boss extended his hand and said, “Welcome to our company.”

I didn’t extend my hand, but only asked a few follow-up questions, “Is there anything else you’d like to know about my work experience?” “What are the main job responsibilities for this position?” “What are your expectations of the person in this position?”

The boss froze and replied, “I already know your work experience very well, so I don’t need to ask; as for what you will do after joining, there will be work arrangements for you naturally when the time comes, our company’s marketing manager has a large scope of authority and responsibility.”

I laughed — I think I can still turn my head and leave like that girl. Even if this was the closest I’d come to starting a job in months.

After a long time of being down, I found Wang Xuan again and asked her to help me push inside, saying I could accept a pay cut and promising not to use the place as a transition.

Wang Xuan was full of apologies: “Last month, a colleague from another department was brushed off without looking at his resume, and HR said directly to us, ‘Unless you are a director, you don’t need to push 35+. The age thing, in our company before is also vaguely also talk about, but before not so strict, see the right qualifications, as long as not more than 40, like 36, 37 are able to recruit in. But now it has become an unwritten and mandatory rule, there is no way.”

Wang Xuan said that since this regulation came out, the atmosphere in their department is even worse, “we are now everyone’s own danger, it is difficult to protect themselves ……” originally before overtime is more, now directly even dare not complain. From time to time, the leader will take this to knock them, the meaning is very straightforward: cherish this job, maybe one day you will be fired. After the opening, where to find a job at your age?

5

Time passes day by day, my mood is getting worse and worse, sometimes irritable, sometimes low, and sometimes doubt self.

Once and Tang Lei wandering outside, see the restaurant door posted job posting, “foreman 7000 yuan, dishwasher 4000 yuan”, I jokingly said really can not find a job, I will go to wash dishes, or go to the kind of big box stores as a promoter, there is always something I can do, right?

Tang Lei also laughed and said that the boss is not a fool, will pick people, “Look at your delicate look, it is not like a person who can do things quickly. Washing dishes afraid that you will drop the bowl, do promoters and afraid that you can not pull the voice. There are many more suitable people than you, so why should anyone hire you?”

Although I knew he was joking, but my heart still sank gloomily. I began to cast my resume, nothing to pick, even if the commute takes an hour and a half, I also cast; even if the job posting clearly written “single off, do not mind” “can accept the regularization of overtime preferred”, I also cast; dozens of small companies, I also cast. I also voted. In no time, the number of my resume submissions reached more than 400.

This round of sea cast, but a lot of interview opportunities, more than ten interviews in a month. I was too tired to do detailed preparation before the interview, and I just answered the interview mechanically.

Until one day, I went to a company with more than 30 people for an interview. At the end of the first round, HR told me directly that the salary offered by the company was only half of the minimum salary I could accept, so I didn’t think the job was suitable for me.

I smiled, thanked them and was ready to leave, thinking that it was just another morning wasted, but HR hesitated and stopped me. She stared at me sincerely and said, “I’ve been talking to you for more than half an hour, and although it’s not long, I can clearly feel that you are a very professional and well-rounded person. I’m not sure why you chose to submit to this company of ours, but looking at your gap time from your last job, I guess you are not under a lot of pressure now?”

“Looking at your previous work experience, they were all large formal companies. My previous career trajectory was the same as yours, and I had been working in large companies before coming to this company now for various reasons. Although I have worked for a shorter period of time than you, but I have also seen all kinds of job seekers. I would like to advise you from a private standpoint: if you want to choose to develop into a small private company, you must be careful, there will be a lot of small companies that you can’t adapt to, and you will have to spend a lot of energy to break in and adapt, which will be a big drain on you.”

I looked up at her, and her eyes were clear, “One more tip — you may only think that 35 is a hurdle, but I’m telling you, 40 is the bigger ‘spell’. We have an unwritten understanding in HR circles, especially for quality large companies, 35 + can be considered if the conditions are really good, but when 40 +, you really must be very, very good to get into the door of the interview. Some HR will even directly set the filter, after 40 years old, your resume can not even enter the mailbox.”

“I can feel the pressure you are under, but I still want to advise you not to lower your standards and not to look for a random company. You’re good, so keep at it and find a better company before you turn 40, or your career will really be over.”

Is 35+, 40+ really that magical a watershed in the workplace? Isn’t this the age when energy and experience are best balanced? Since when has it become an age that everyone dislikes?

However, I ask myself, if I were the boss and faced with an employee who rushed out to return the phone call of her child’s class teacher in between meetings, would I suspect that she had been distracted during the meetings? Faced with a business trip, but every now and then call remote check children’s homework staff, I would not prefer to choose a young people without distractions?

I always feel that something is wrong, but I can’t tell.

In the evening and a friend chat, she told me offhandedly that someone in her neighborhood jumped off a building yesterday. The friend said lightly that no one knows the details, only that it was a middle-aged man in his 40s who leapt from the 7th floor late at night. “This age of people, if not encounter a hurdle that can not be overcome, who will have so much courage to die?”

The emotions that have been building up for a long time finally broke out, and I hung up the phone and buried my head in my knees for half a day, and tears smeared my face. Tang Lei came over and when I finally couldn’t stop crying, he patted me on the back: “Oh, no hurry, no hurry, it’s not a big deal, you just haven’t found a job, you’re fine, you’re great, you just want to find a suitable job now, otherwise, you would have found it long ago. It’s okay, the sky hasn’t collapsed yet, besides, even if the sky collapses, there is still me, right? I can still starve you?”

I hugged him tightly. Although Tang Lei’s words are relieved, but I know that his work is now also quite unlucky. Two years ago, he jumped from the company where he had worked for more than ten years, originally hoping to break through the career bottleneck, who knows but encountered more problems, often frowned.

After this venting, I will instead more deliberately remind myself not to show low emotions in front of Tang Lei. Sometimes the hard feelings come up, I choose to digest it secretly. During this time, if I must say that there are any gains, I think, probably I finally understand the powerlessness and limitations of people.

6

A month or so later, I finally found a job with a company that specializes in children’s photography, with more than 20 stores, a small, well-known company in the local area.

At the interview, after a brief introduction, the director of human resources, Mr. Duan, advised me in a serious way: “In fact, from your age and career history, you are now in a very awkward situation. I think you have been interviewing for so long and have not found a suitable job, so you should be able to know where the problem lies.”

After she finished, she made a deliberate pause and looked at me with burning eyes, as if to give me time to digest. These words hit a sore spot for me, so when she suggested that there was a “store operations manager” position and outlined a wonderful path to advancement, I was moved. Even though it was a hundred thousand miles away from my previous work experience, I spookily said I would like to learn more about it.

On the day of the interview, there were 8 people sitting on the opposite side of the large conference table from Duan and a few leaders from the operations department, and 8 people on the side of us applicants.

I hadn’t experienced such a scene for a long time, except for the “group interview” I had attended when I first graduated. After the applicants introduced themselves, I found that they had worked in a variety of industries: a cafe manager, a movie theater operations manager, an assistant manager of a medical clinic, and so on.

Whether it was the industry or past experience, we had nothing in common – the only thing in common was that we were all over 35 years old and had reached a point of no return in our previous positions.

After a round of interviews, Mr. Duan left me alone and asked me what I thought. I said frankly that I felt that both the industry and the job content were too wide, and I was worried that I would not be able to do it.

Duan looked sincere and eager, and said that she was most optimistic about me in this round of interviews: “Believe me, I have seen countless interviewees and people who joined and left the company, and I can see at a glance whether a person’s qualifications are suitable or not, and whether they can do well in this position. Let’s do this, you do not panic to refuse first, first talk to our vice president of operations alone before deciding.”

Probably because I had seen too many cold HR before, and the main reason was that the salary structure of the position introduced to me by Mr. Duan – a fairly good base salary and a rather attractive bonus ratio – made me a little tempted. I hesitated for a moment and agreed to attend the next round of interviews.

The next two and three interviews went very well, and I received an offer shortly thereafter.

Although I had the offer in hand, I was still a bit apprehensive about making such a big career change at this age and throwing away my past accumulation and experience to start from scratch. I contacted my interviewer, Zhao Tian, who I had met while waiting for the group interview, and added her to my WeChat, saying that we would share our experiences afterwards. At the end of the group interview, we had a long private discussion, both of us felt that the interview was not good – maybe it was our intuition from years in the workplace, many details made us feel that although the company is not small, it is not a quality, professional company.

Zhao sweet did not receive an offer, she was a little frustrated, when I learned the news, I somehow cherish this offer more. Seeing that I was indecisive, Zhao sweet persuaded me to accept: “It’s December now, and most companies will suspend their recruitment plans at the end of the year, but this year’s Spring Festival is particularly late, until mid-February. In the next one or two months, the job may not be too good to find. Try it first, if you do not think it is suitable, wait until after the Spring Festival and then look again, when it is also the peak recruitment season.”

Zhao sweet said has a point, I replied to the company, determined the time to start.

On the day of the formal application procedure, in the human resources office, I found that of the 8 people who attended the group interview that day, the last one to come was me and another applicant, Luo Huan.

The HR specialist took out the contract and the employee handbook to make a presentation to us. I took a cursory look at the employee handbook and was sensitive to the harsh management style of the company, both in terms of working hours and disciplinary requirements, with few benefits and many punishments. Looking at the rules and regulations, I couldn’t help but sigh: this probably won’t be a company that treats its employees generously.

And when I saw the employment contract, I really sank my face. The promised base salary was divided into basic salary, post salary, performance salary and allowance, and the basic salary was only 6,500 yuan. The probationary salary was only 70% of the base salary, no performance bonus, and the length of the probationary period was half a year – that is, we could only get 4,500 yuan per month for half a year.

This was a far cry from the base salary promised and the total income given in the pie.

I pushed the contract to the commissioner: “This is not what we talked about in the interview.”

The commissioner explained to me with a smile on his face: “The salary is divided in this way in order to minimize the social security payment base, after all, social security is a big burden for the company, and we hope to give more of this expense to the employees in the form of other benefits. After the regularization, the promised base salary will be given to you, and after the regularization, you can have a bonus according to the monthly performance. Don’t worry, we are such a big company, we can’t play tricks.”

“What about the length of the trial? When I was interviewed, I was told 1 to 3 months, how come the contract is written in half a year?”

The commissioner is still smiling: “Our contract is directly with you for 3 years, according to the labor law, a 3-year contract can be signed for a probationary period of 3 to 6 months. But don’t worry, for the best employees, we will transfer early.”

I was going to question the probationary salary again, but Luo Huan touched me and gave me a wink, then he quickly took the contract and signed it. I saw him sign it, and after a moment of hesitation, I signed it too.

I walked out of the office building with Luo Huan, just at noon, so we turned into a small alley next to each other and prepared to eat something. We walked through the narrow alley, and the smell of spicy hotpot stuck up greasily.

I said I felt the company was not generous to its employees, and even a little mean. Luo Huan lit a cigarette, took a drag, then dropped it at his feet and crushed it hard: “Yes, I feel bad too. But forget it, let’s do it first and see, there’s still a mortgage to pay at home.”

7

The next day, Luo Huan and I officially reported to work. According to the introduction of the personnel, the 6-month trial period was assigned as follows: the first 2 months, we were assigned to each store as “trainee operation managers” and followed the store managers to learn; the third month, we tried to lead the store independently, and if we passed the “trial lead”, we would be assigned to the next month. “If we pass the test, the next 3 months will be a period of “store assessment”, and if we pass the assessment, we can be transferred to the official store manager.

Luo Huan once again confirmed with the personnel: these 6 months, according to the company, in addition to the probationary salary of 4500 yuan, there is no commission and bonus.

During the training period, almost every other week, one or two new “trainee managers” would be onboarded. They were the same as my batch of interviewees, previously located in a variety of industries, all over 35 years old, in the previous company to the grassroots or middle management post, and then encountered different bottlenecks. Because of the same illness, we all soon became familiar with each other.

We soon got a clear picture of the company’s situation: of the 20 or so stores in the company, only 4 actually had vacancies for managers. But in our store alone, there were already 14 “trainee managers” who had joined one after another during this period.

After getting familiar with the old staff, we learned that the company has been running this human elimination mechanism for several years. The so-called “trainee manager” is actually a manpower reserve, the company uses the “lenient in and strict out, the big wave of sand” means, the company’s existing store managers, basically are able to endure more than a year of pressure, will stay.

Luo Huan and I are a little frustrated, Luo Huan tone of voice indignant: “so harsh on us, too bullying, tigers fall flat sun by the dog bully ah. If it weren’t for the epidemic making it hard to find work, if it weren’t for my age now, how would I have gotten into a company like this?”

I laughed and patted him, “Didn’t you advise me before, ‘The mortgage has to be paid.’ If we can really get the salary they promise after the transfer, then this is probably the best job we can find right now.”

We looked at each other for a long time and let out a long sigh, “Let’s simmer.”

As the old staff said, the turnover rate of “trainee managers” is very high, and new people are entering and leaving all the time. There were 4 vacancies and more than 10 “reserves”, and it was not an easy task to decide who should stay and who should go.

Luo Huan and I soon became familiar with Tang Wei and Zhang Ming, who joined us later, and even developed a strange feeling of “being dependent on each other”. But I also understand that everyone’s situation is different, ideas will be very different, this “community of destiny” will not exist for long.

Tang Wei was the first one to think of leaving.

Three days after she joined, a new store opened. We all thought the company would transfer a skilled store manager over, but who knew that it was Tang Wei who was sent there. She was able to skip the long and unlearnable “trainee period” and jumped directly to the “trial store”, which made us envious and guessed that the company might be most optimistic about her.

Who knew that late one night, Tang Wei called me for nearly 2 hours. Her voice was muffled as she confided in me that she was the only one in the new store who was a complete “parachutist” and “an outsider directing an insider”, and that the staff in the store were subservient to her, and that she couldn’t get answers to the questions she was asking her superiors, so she ended up asking our contemporaries for advice. Ask for advice to understand ……

“You all envy me for avoiding the apprenticeship, but you don’t know how much I envy you guys, although learning less and learning slower, but at least not as dark as I do, everything depends on their own figure out.”

Tang Wei did her best, and it took more than 2 months to get the new store on the right track. Unexpectedly, at this time she was ushered in a transfer order: “Tang Wei transferred to XX store apprenticeship, the store by Zhang Ming to take over.”

Tang Wei was dumbfounded, she called me, choked up and said, “Kill the donkey, right? I brought this store on track like a child, turnover has been increasing, and this time let me go back to the apprenticeship? I’ve figured out everything I don’t know, so what else do I need to do?”

She asked me, “What exactly is the daily apprenticeship? I can only laugh bitterly – we are not green rookies in the workplace, even if we have changed careers, the daily operation of the store is easy to grasp, very skilled in less than a week. But the actual need to understand the core content, such as performance assessment methods, bonus allocation principles, the key points of the declaration of supplies, etc., we are called “master” store manager is tight-lipped.

Small staff secretly said to me: “You do not blame the manager ah, trainee manager turnover is too frequent, she is afraid that these core content to you after you leave the company’s core secrets will be leaked. I heard that the trainee manager will not learn about these until after he is really assigned to lead the store.”

Most of the time during the long apprenticeship period, I was just like a brick, moving to where I needed to be. Luo Huan hit the nail on the head, saying that the company treats us as cheap labor, “4,500 yuan, I’m afraid the ’00s’ who just graduated are not willing to do it, right? It’s the middle-aged people like us who are the most wimpy!”

Tang Wei asked me: “Why is Zhang Ming to take my place, you all know it well, right?”

I didn’t say anything. Zhang Ming is a little younger than us, 34 years old, with an active personality, and is said to have a good reputation in the company’s management. Although we were close, Tang Wei and I didn’t particularly like him. At dinner parties, he was the one who gave the most toasts to the leaders and had the sweetest mouth; on weekdays, he often liked to talk about some of our private discussions to the management without thinking about it.

Tang Wei was disdainful of his routine: “He asked the most questions during training, and responded the most during meetings – a little gimmick, who couldn’t see as if he was a schoolboy.”

Zhang Ming also felt our alienation from him, and after one regular meeting, he reminded me, “You are too silent during training and meetings, except for what should be said, you do not say a word that should not be said.”

My heart welled up with a boredom, and my tone was unconsciously hard: “I do not like to talk much, what should be said, not what should not be said.”

“You think I don’t think some topics are silly? Do you think I ask questions during training because I really don’t understand? At this stage, who leaves and who stays depends on the leader’s impression of you, doesn’t it? Playing dumb is the best way to perform, and the leaders like it!”

I laughed, said thanks, knowing that his words were a release of goodwill to me, and did not continue to refute.

When I got home, I couldn’t help but talk to Tang Lei about the story, and Tang Lei advised me: “You think it’s a bad job, he may not feel that way. Maybe for him, this job or give up a lot to fight for. Don’t use your values to evaluate him, are workers, who is not easy, his approach is not pretty enough, but for middle-aged people like us, beautiful gestures are not when the food.”

8

Shortly after Zhang Ming took over the store, Tang Wei will mention the departure, I also gradually feel like retreating. Who knows that at this point, Guo, who is in charge of operations, mysteriously called me into the office and solemnly said to me, “I have good news for you: through the results of the unanimous discussion of the company, whether it is the management, or the store’s teachers and grassroots staff, all appreciate you, so the company decided to let you transfer ahead of schedule! Saying that, he handed me a form and patted my shoulder warmly, “This is a very rare case in our company that can be transferred early in 3 months, you hurry to fill out this transfer application, from next month, you can get the full base salary and performance bonuses, congratulations!

I was not that excited, I just smiled and said thanks, and then walked out of the office.

The store that the company was going to assign to me was the one with the best conditions of the few stores that were still lacking a manager. Whether it is the location, the surrounding population, the store staffing, are relatively high quality, past performance is also quite good, but I can not get excited.

The meager salary during the apprenticeship period and the confusion of the company’s management system certainly made me dissatisfied, but the most difficult thing for me was the work schedule. According to the company’s rules, store managers only have 4 days off per month, and they can only take off from Monday to Friday, and they are not allowed to schedule off on weekends without special circumstances.

During the 3-month apprenticeship, I didn’t have a full day to spend with my son except for a few days off for the Chinese New Year. At this time, I was more worried about my son’s study. Before coming to work in this company, Tang Lei had promised that he would be responsible for my son on weekends. But every Sunday night when I signed my son’s homework, I found that many assignments either failed or were not finished at all.

At the final exam, my son’s grade dropped by more than 10 places. The teacher called me up and criticized and warned me for more than half an hour, stressing the importance of “junior high school”. At the end, the teacher also deliberately aggravated the tone: “I asked my child, said you are particularly busy recently, no one to take care of him on weekends. As a parent, if you can’t help your child at such an important juncture, then I don’t think you’re a qualified mother.”

I was so aggrieved that I blamed my anger on Tang Lei. Tang Lei was silent at first, and only after I finished pouring beans down my throat did he retort aggressively: “I didn’t stop for a moment at home on weekends, I had to send Tian Tian to classes everywhere, and I had to prepare three meals at home, and I also had my own work to deal with, as you know. I can’t split myself into pieces, can I?”

I could no longer ignore the problems caused by my work and rest, because once I was transferred, it would not be so easy to leave. I secretly asked myself: does this company have even the slightest attraction to me? After thinking about it, I couldn’t think of anything.

I asked Tang Lei: “If I give up this hard-earned job, will you blame me?”

He asked me in turn, “Do you remember the time before, the company wanted to transfer me to Zhengzhou?”

That time, the company intended to transfer Tang Lei to Zhengzhou to be in charge of business in Henan Province. We discussed for a long time, Zhengzhou is not far from Wuhan, but the company also clearly said that the first year is the market development phase, Tang Lei is likely to have little opportunity to go home. When the market stabilizes, maybe he can go home once or twice a month — as for whether he can be transferred back to Wuhan later, it depends on when there is a vacancy in charge of the province.

I can see Tang Lei’s heart, for nearly 40 years old, he is a very good opportunity for promotion, and may be the last opportunity. But Tang Lei can also see my reluctance, he did not say anything more, only keep asking me whether he wants to go or not.

Finally, Tang Lei still decided to give up.

It took some effort to resign with Mr. Guo, who was quite surprised that I proposed to leave and persuaded me that I wanted to stay. The second round of interview was with Mr. Duan, and the situation was unexpected.

When I entered Duan’s office, she didn’t look up, and didn’t even take her eyes off the papers on her desk. I pulled out a chair and sat down, waiting quietly. Only after waiting for a long time did Duan raise her head and turn her eyes to me, her usual cordial appearance disappeared without a trace, her eyes and voice were sharp as a knife: “I hope you will tell me the real reason for leaving, why exactly?”

I was a bit baffled by her questioning: “Sorry, I overestimated my level of adaptation to the work and rest of the operation position before, and my children at home need my care.”

Duan’s eyes stared straight at me, and her tone was full of doubt and questioning: “Is it for the sake of the children? Then you should not come out to work? I’ve been doing HR for so many years, I’ve seen too much, a woman, once the child as the primary consideration, your career can be said to be over! Do you know how much effort the company has spent on you in the past 3 months? Once you leave, all the effort we have spent on you will be wasted!”

I whispered my apologies and said I hadn’t thought it through before and had given the company a hard time. I never thought work was unimportant, it just seemed to me that I wanted more of a balance as possible at the moment. Everyone’s choices are different.

I looked over at her slightly bulging belly and secretly thought, she’s going to be a mother soon too. Mr. Duan paused and waved his hand impatiently, “Okay, I get it, forget it then, you go out and do the paperwork.”

When she left the office, she didn’t even say a polite “goodbye” to me.

Shortly after I left, Luo Huan soon left as well. After his attempt to interview with the company for an early transfer was rejected, he did not hesitate and immediately submitted his resignation.

“The family monthly mortgage of more than 10,000, not to mention the children’s expenses. This 4500 yuan a month, take 6 months, is not clearly bullying people? I think this company is to pick on disadvantaged job seekers like us, it is not easy to find a job, not to mention easily resign, even other unreasonable places, but also dare not easily say ‘no’.” Luo Huan suddenly hardened his temper, “This time, I’m going to say a ‘no’.”

It didn’t take long for Luo Huan to find a new job, and when I talked to Tang Wei, my words showed envy and I couldn’t help but secretly question myself. Tang Wei reassured me, “Although Luo Huan is older, but has an advantage over the two of us, he is a man, there is a mortgage and pressure and do not have to take care of the family, exactly the type of company like it.”

She giggled and gestured a towel wringing action, and then fell down: “You at least the child has been born, and I’m not pregnant yet, before the interview many, are stuck in this point, I almost did not kneel down to write a pledge that do not want the child, but still no company wants me. This company is the only one that has accepted me for months, and I kind of regret leaving on impulse.”

9

Time kept passing, and in my desperation, I received an invitation to a party for my high school classmates.

I was enrolled in an experimental class at a key high school in Wuhan in high school. I was not good at science, and after my sophomore year, I struggled more and more to learn, and my grades gradually fell to 40. In the end, most of the students in my class got into famous universities, but I only barely got into an ordinary university.

A few years ago, I attended a party organized by my high school class president, and it seemed that all of my classmates had run away with their careers. Some are executives in large companies, some settled abroad, and some started their own companies. Listening to the people at the table talk about, I some can not intervene, sometimes want to say something, but also afraid to show the cowardly people laugh. Since then, every time the party, I have found an excuse not to participate.

But this time, I was moved to think: Why not go to participate in it, maybe chatting, can ask some job opportunities?

Into the private room, long-lost classmates, familiar and unfamiliar. The teenagers who were once so enthusiastic to grab the ball into the frame, now talk about the financial and economic international situation.

I have been distracted, buried my head in a draft, hesitating how to speak to them about the job search. When I came back to my senses, I heard Zhang Yu was talking eloquently. Zhang Yu settled in Shenzhen after her graduate studies in the United States and worked in one of the top companies in China. Not two years after giving birth to a child was sent to develop overseas markets, six or seven years in several countries, before returning home the year before last. With a wealth of overseas experience to support, she rose to the top of the company.

This party was organized because Zhang Yu came to Wuhan on business. At the moment, she was laughing and sharing about her time abroad: when she was on assignment in Germany, her husband was based in the Middle East, and communication with her daughter at home was almost entirely by messages, often taking days to talk about a very simple matter, and even each “good night” before going to bed was separated by hours.

Almost instinctively, I wanted to ask, “Don’t you miss your daughter? Aren’t you worried about your daughter’s grades?” But then I swallowed the words. Looking at her glowing face, I thought my question was too funny.

Zhang Yu went on to talk about another organization under her company, which was interested in acquiring a high-tech enterprise in Wuhan last year, and she came to that company for several times, but in the end it didn’t work out. “Do you know why?” Zhang Yu half-joked that the person in charge went to the company at 10 p.m. and found that a large part of the people were not at their workstations, “Our head shook his head on the spot and said, ‘No, Wuhan people, still not diligent enough!

A burst of laughter rang out in the room, and someone echoed, “It seems that if people don’t work hard, it’s hard to even sell themselves out.”

I had been working on the script all night, but no longer had the courage to say it.

Before the party broke up, my son called to urge me to hurry home. In front of this group of students, my inferiority complex from adolescence to middle age, connected with the child phone are a little ashamed of themselves, as if they seem to be particularly mother-in-law.

I perfunctory, just want to hang up quickly, Zhang Yu walked to my side, suddenly dry laugh a few, voice unnatural: “strange, now every time I travel, my daughter is also several phone calls a day, today this is what happened? Surprisingly, no phone call came. I’ll have to ask when I get back to the hotel, don’t have anything to do with the delay in calling me oh.”

10

After that, I continued to cast my resume online. One day, I received a friend request on WeChat, and when I clicked on it, the other party claimed to be the HR of a trading company, and I felt strange: I did have the experience of communicating on APP and then transferring to WeChat, but it was the first time I met such a direct friend.

The other party opened the door and said that the headhunter had pushed my resume to him and that they were looking for a brand director and wanted to get to know the basic situation on WeChat first. I answered his questions on my phone while using my computer to search for the company online.

The name of the company was available, and the basic situation was the same as he said, but none of the recruitment platforms showed that they were looking for a brand director. When I asked him about his doubts, he was very calm and said that the senior position was not listed on the job board.

The answer was reasonable, and the questions he asked were quite professional, so I didn’t dare to slow down and answered every question seriously. After about 10 minutes of communication, the other party said he was satisfied with me and would recommend me to the general manager for an interview. “But,” the other side of the conversation turned, “our general manager is now abroad on a business trip, may not return recently, you first add him QQ, in QQ initial communication, okay?”

With the mindset of not letting go of any trace of hope, I added the QQ number given by the other party. The “general manager” quickly passed. At first, it is also quite formal interview questions of all kinds, the other party constantly stressed with me the company’s generous benefits, the promise of high wages, high bonuses, after joining the car, etc.. I remembered that when I looked up the company’s information on the Internet, it was only about 50 people in size, and a small trading company could not reasonably offer such a high package.

I have a growing suspicion that the other party is a scammer, but a little reluctant: “What if? I have to completely prove that he is a fraud before I can give up.”

The interval between each message on the QQ is getting longer and longer, and the “general manager” tells me from time to time, “I have something to take care of, I’ll continue in 2 hours”, “I have a meeting to attend now, I’ll continue to communicate with you in the evening. Continue to communicate with me in the evening”.

When the other party continued to “communicate” with me at 9:00 pm, the topic became more and more scattered, and when I couldn’t talk about two sentences related to work, I started to lament about how difficult life is and how hard it is to earn money. My patience was running out, and I tried to pull the conversation back, asking several times when I could arrange a formal interview, but I was put off by “I’ll arrange it when I get back to the company”.

When I asked again, the person disappeared for an hour before answering, “Sorry, I was just checking my bitcoin earnings.”

I was so pissed off that I closed the dialog without hesitation. Shortly afterwards, the other person, seemingly unhappy, asked again, “Do you know anything about Bitcoin?” I looked at the other person’s avatar coldly, and quickly blacked him out.

Later, when I talked to a friend about this, he couldn’t help but laugh: “The previous ‘piggy banks’ were all about marriage, but now they’re keeping up with the times and expanding their business further, even cheating unemployed women. I think those job search sites are also accomplices, if they are not selling resumes, these scammers can not get your contact information, right.”

In the interview invitations I received before, there are pyramid schemes, companies that specialize in selling elderly people “three-nothing” health products in the form of lectures, and companies that sell sea view houses, to name a few.

After this experience, when I encountered various fraudulent companies in the future, I was much more calm and not so angry anymore.

I had been unemployed for more than a year and had almost given up hope of finding a job.

One day, I inadvertently thought of a junior high school classmate Tian Ping. She has been doing HR since she graduated, and although she and I were not particularly good friends, she is bright and enthusiastic, and has kept in touch off and on over the years. I know she left a French company 5 years ago and went to a large state-owned enterprise as an HR manager.

With the mindset of trying, I asked her out for an afternoon tea. After exchanging a few pleasantries, I opened my mouth carefully: “How are you doing? How are you doing?”

Tian Ping laughed: “No, I’m losing my job.” Then she asked me, “Do you know how I got into this state-owned enterprise back then?” I shook my head, this large state-owned enterprises in addition to school recruitment and special channels, rarely heard of social channels recruitment.

Tian Ping said: “when they want to reform, parachuted in a general manager, the general manager probably want to cultivate some of their own power, but also may be a genuine desire to do something, they broke the rules from the community to recruit some people, including me – ah, unfortunately, want to do things ultimately did not make. After the Spring Festival this year, he packed his bags and was expelled.”

I was dumbfounded and laughed, this episode was so familiar. I asked her what she was going to do next, and Tian Ping tossed her hair, looking rather spontaneous: “I don’t know, maybe I’ll have to get out soon, or maybe I’ll have a chance to stay. After all, I have been here for 5 years, and the position is quite secure. I plan, although the general manager left, but as long as they do not ask, I will not leave, maybe they will not necessarily move me.” She said while laughing slightly disdainfully, “That group of people in the office, most of them are not working ‘relations’, they always need someone to do something, right?”

“But I did get myself into trouble.” Tian Ping said that in 2019, Jiang Jie (our common junior high school classmate) came back from Beijing and could not find something to do for a while, she happened to have people under her at the time, so she recruited Jiang Jie in. Originally peaceful, but now it’s awkward. General manager left, everyone is quite dangerous, they are some roots, Jiang Jie came in a short time, the position is also low, it is very difficult to do.

Tian Ping first time told Jiang Jie situation is not good, hurry to find a way out. But Jiang Jie does not believe, always feel that Tian Ping can cover her. “Oh my God, I don’t know how to protect myself, where can I give her a guarantee?” Finally, Tian Ping himself dismissed Jiang Jie, from then on the two no longer speak.

“You say I, is there nothing to find things for myself? I introduced her to work is also a good intention, but the result is to make their own inside and outside.”

Hesitantly, I still opened my mouth: “Alas, originally wanted to ask for your help, so I do not know whether to say or not.”

Tian Ping asked what it was, I smiled and told my situation, she laughed bitterly: “Alas, I myself is also really mud Bodhisattva over the river, it is difficult to protect themselves. To be honest, if I really lose my job this time, I don’t want to go back to look for a job. I graduated from 25 years old as HR, and now I have been doing it for more than ten years, I have seen countless job seekers, especially in these years, I know how difficult it is.”

“So what are you going to do if you don’t go out and look for a job?” I asked.

Tian Ping waved her hand hard, “wait until you lose your job, there is always a way out. Anyway, people have a pair of hands, how, it is not to starve themselves to death.”

(All characters in the article are pseudonyms)