Let’s put it this way

Originally it was a good intention to remind but was mistaken for sarcasm; originally wanted to liven up the atmosphere, but the atmosphere was colder when you opened your mouth …… Why do you often experience such embarrassing things? The reason is that you do not know how to speak. The 35 ways to speak, so that you speak more appropriate!

A. When you praise, you should say ……

  1. praise behavior rather than personal.

For example, if the other person is a chef, never say, “You’re an amazing chef.” He knows in his heart that there are more chefs who are better than him. But if you tell him that you eat at his restaurant half the week, that’s a very clever compliment.

  1. Express compliments through a third party.

If the other party is indirectly through others to hear your praise, than you directly tell me more than a surprise. On the contrary, if you are criticizing each other, do not tell the person through a third party to avoid adding vinegar.

  1. polite words should also be said to be appropriate.

The polite words are to show your respect and gratitude, so it is necessary to stop. Someone did a little something for you, you just say “thank you.” , “I’m sorry, I’m sorry to bother you with this.” As for “I’m not very knowledgeable, please give me more guidance.” This lack of emotion of polite words, you can avoid.

  1. In the face of compliments, it is good to say thank you.

When people are complimented, most of them will reply “I’m fine!” or just smile. Instead of that, you should accept it frankly and say thank you directly to the other person. Sometimes when someone compliments us on our clothes or something, if you say, “It’s just a bargain!” Instead, it will make the other party embarrassed.

  1. Have the grace to appreciate your competitors.

When your rival or annoying person is praised, don’t rush to say: “But ……”, even if you don’t agree with the other party, outwardly still say: “Yes, he is very hard.” Show your own elegance.

Second, when criticizing, never ……

  1. Criticism also depends on the relationship.

Advice may not be contrary to the ear, even if you are well-intentioned, the other party may not appreciate, or even misunderstand your good intentions. Unless you and the other party have a certain friendship or trust basis, do not feel free to criticize.

  1. Criticism can also be very pleasant to the ear.

A more acceptable statement is: “I have some ideas about your ……, maybe you can listen to them.”

  1. The timing is important.

Never on Monday morning, almost most people will have the “Monday blues” symptoms. Also not on a Friday before work, so as not to ruin the mood of the other person’s weekend off.

  1. Pay attention to the occasion.

Do not criticize your friend or colleague in front of outsiders, these words in private and behind closed doors is good.

  1. Also offer advice.

In addition to criticism, should also provide positive suggestions for improvement, in order to make your criticism more convincing.

Third, when talking back, be careful ……

  1. Avoid replies that should not be said out loud.

Such as: “No, it should be ……” this kind of words seem you are deliberately looking for trouble. Also, we often say, “I heard that ……”, which feels like you’ve heard something from someone else, which is not appropriate.

  1. Don’t answer “That’s right!”

This is a very bad statement, when the other person heard this response, the mind will inevitably think: “You know you are not asking?” So just echo, “Yes!”

  1. Change the useless catchphrase.

Everyone has a habitual mantra when they speak, but it can easily turn people off. For example, “Do you know what I mean?” , “Are you clear?” , “Basically ……”, “Honestly ……”.

  1. Remove unnecessary “noise”.

Some people have the habit of adding “ah” and other words at the end of each sentence, such as “that is, ah”, “of course,” in more formal situations, it will seem less dignified and stable.

  1. Don’t ask the person “What does your company do?”

You meet someone at an event and they introduce themselves as working for a company. Don’t ask, “What does your company do?” The event may be organized by their company, and it would be embarrassing if you didn’t know. And don’t say, “I hear you’re doing great!” Because the other party may have lost 30% of their performance this quarter. You should say, “What position do you hold at the company?” Don’t ask if you don’t know the other person’s occupation, because it’s possible that he doesn’t have a job.

  1. Don’t ask someone you don’t know well, “Why?”

If we don’t know each other well enough, ask each other “Why?” Sometimes it can be accusatory and personal. For example, “Why did you do that?” , “Why did you make this decision?” These questions should be avoided.

Fourth, do face, give others ……

  1. Don’t assume that everyone knows you.

When you meet someone you’ve met before but don’t know very well, never say, “Do you remember me?” In case the other person can’t remember, it will be awkward. The best way is to introduce yourself first: “Hello, I’m xxxxx, it’s nice to see you again.”

  1. It is possible to refuse without being rude.

When dining, if the host recommends you to eat something you don’t want to eat, you can say, “Sorry, I can’t eat this dish, but I will eat a little more x x.” Let the other person feel that you truly like and appreciate the food they have prepared. If you are full, you can say, “These dishes are so good, if I wasn’t full, I would like to eat more.”

  1. Don’t act like you’re better than the other person.

When talking in a social setting, if someone says he just went to New York for 1 week, don’t say the last time you went for 1 month, it will ruin the other person’s interest in the conversation. It’s better to go along with the other person’s words and share your feelings and love for New York.

  1. Don’t correct other people’s mistakes.

Don’t be too chickenshit about correcting someone’s pronunciation, grammar or facts. Not only will you make the other person feel embarrassed, but you’ll also look like you love to perform.

  1. Don’t pretend to understand if you don’t understand.

If you don’t understand the subject of the conversation, just say frankly, “I’m not sure about this issue.” Others will not continue to make things difficult for you. If you do not understand but also pretend to understand, more likely to say the wrong thing.

Five, look at the face, don’t be impulsive ……

  1. master 1 second principle.

After listening to other people’s conversations, before answering, first pause for 1 second, on behalf of you just have in carefully listened to, if it is immediately returned, it will make people feel as if you have been waiting to interrupt each other at any time.

  1. Hear what is not said.

When you are listening to someone, you hear only what the other person knows and is willing to tell you. In addition to listening, we must also “observe”. How does he behave? What kind of work does he do? How does he allocate his time and money?

  1. The time is right, everything is right.

When you have something to discuss with a colleague or supervisor, you should choose the right time according to the importance of your problem or not. If it’s a personal matter, don’t interrupt when the person is buried in thought. If you don’t know when the other party is available, you may want to write to him first.

Six, to embarrassment, there are ways ……

  1. Smile and refuse to answer personal questions.

If you are asked a personal question that you do not want to answer or that makes you uncomfortable, you can smile and say to the other party, “I don’t have an answer to this question.” Not only will you not embarrass the other party, but you will also be able to keep your bottom line.

  1. cornered back.

In many social situations, drinking is always unavoidable. Don’t just say, “I don’t drink.” It will spoil everyone’s fun. How about humorously saying, “I’m better at pouring drinks for everyone.”

  1. Give your first name first.

If you forget the name of the other party, you can introduce your name to the other party or take out your business card as if it were a formal occasion, and the other party will also give his or her name and business card, eliminating the dilemma of not being able to call the other party’s name.

  1. Do not gossip sounding board.

When a group of people talking about someone’s gossip or rumors, do not just echo, because as long as the words spoken, will certainly reach the ears of the person concerned. The best way is not to state your position, just say, “I’m not sure about the part you’re talking about.”

  1. Give the “go away” order.

If you think it’s time to end the conversation or send off, but the person doesn’t seem to have any intention of getting up and leaving, say, “Excuse me, I have to make a phone call, it might take a little longer ……,” or, ” Thank you really for coming today ……”. You can also look at your watch without thinking to let the other person know it’s time to go.

  1. Make the other person feel that he is important.

If you ask a senior for help, you can say, “Because I trust you so much, I want to talk to you ……” to make the other person feel that he is highly respected.

Seven, evaluate the ministry, be appropriate ……

How can a supervisor communicate with his or her subordinates in order to say just the right thing without hurting the relationship? In the internal education and training conducted by the company, we teach novice supervisors 5 communication rules.

  1. Describe the current situation directly.

When you disagree with your staff, do not criticize them directly, but explain where the differences lie.

  1. Seek solutions.

If the employee is underperforming, ask him what he can do to solve the problem, not to adopt a threatening attitude.

  1. Offer to help.

If you can’t solve a problem at once, don’t say, “Don’t bother me with this kind of thing,” but tell him, “I know someone who can help.

  1. Speak in an equal tone.

The supervisor should not say, “I have more than 10 years of experience, just listen to me.” A better way to say it is: “I’ve used this method and it works, do you want to try it?”

  1. Be flexible and accept the opinions of your staff.

Even if you have a definite opinion, don’t tell them, “I’ve considered all these suggestions, so there’s no need to say more.” Instead, you should give the person the opportunity to say, “I have a plan for this problem, but I still want to hear your opinion.”