These days, I started watching “Little Shed” and I really think that the education of chicken and indulgent education are not the answer. The best education is to treat the child as a person, to see her integrity, to build an “I and you” relationship, not an “I and it” relationship.
The problem of chicken children is too complex, with various factors entwined.
The starting point of the entanglement is the general environment, all brains have been instilled with a thought: our society is a jungle society, people are in competition with each other, so the meaning of life, is to continue to defeat rivals, to win the competition. In being a human being.
This idea is inherently problematic and is even the source of most of the mental suffering of modern people. I spent the first 22 years of my life desperately trying to be the “king of the rolls” and went to the best law school in the United States to learn that this is not the case, that the world is not like this. The mentality of a jungle society does not bring happiness, because there is no end to comparison.
A child who is the “king of the rolls” will grow up with the inertia of comparing himself to others ingrained in his brain, never satisfied, unable to live in the present, and living in a constant sense of crisis and tension.
This constant anxiety about their current state, of course, can spur themselves to “strive”, “forward”, but where to go? The most devastating two years of my life were when I arrived at Yale and realized that everyone has their own path, and that a top-notch education paves the way for people to find their own meaning by providing a free environment for exploration. Life is ultimately about looking inward.
Another way of putting it is that one always has to reach a certain starting point before one is qualified and able to say this. So the parents of chicken children, but also to provide the best starting point for their children, after which they are free to explore the life they want.
This is also a bloody experience for me: the roll king mentality, instead of allowing the child to play the maximum personal strength. Because it is fear, not love, that drives itself.
The best people are the ones who are focused, the ones who find many, many joys in their world, the ones who can stay awake and tire as long as they can do the job. The state of people who want to win is completely different, they will suffer, look ahead and back, especially afraid of others to evaluate their own state, encounter a little setback will be attributed to their total failure, it is impossible to achieve the ultimate goal.
Both Yan Ziyou and Xia Huanhuan in “Little Shedder” clearly reflect this tendency. When they are scolded by their teachers and blamed by their classmates, they both seriously doubt their strengths and are completely out of study shape. Mi Tao, who has no distractions and just loves math, instead has the best grades.
Moreover, people who roll up from childhood to adulthood are going to have serious minefields in personality development. One of the biggest problems is the extreme insecurity, so it is very easy to take the bull by the horns, it is easy to put all their “hope” in a certain goal, often let people feel “crazy”, in the pursuit of their own goals will not care about hurting And in this goal encounter setbacks, it is simply a catastrophic downfall.
I feel that the drama inside the teacher Zhong and Jiang Xin as Tian Xiaolan are such people. Both advocate chicken children, think that as long as the children’s performance is good, their waist is also hard life also has meaning. The essence of this mentality is still their own lack of self-confidence, unable to find their own value and happiness, they reflect their fears to an external obsession.
These people may themselves due to a certain situation, first believe in the laws of the jungle society, but feel that they can not win the competition, that the child to do can also.
In fact, they want to be successful and quite human, but either they are not willing to work hard and think that chicken children are easier, or they think that chicken children have a better chance of success than chickens themselves, so they project their own desire for success onto their children, which is essentially their own fear of not being willing to be mediocre. This is clearly “conditional love”.
In the mad rush to achieve this goal, children become, in the eyes of these adults, a tool to satisfy their own desire for success. The worst part is that they brainwash themselves with the noble idea of “education for the sake of the child” and refuse to face their true fears, instead they keep making up stories that they are doing the right thing.
They will think that they want to achieve this goal, is incredibly righteous, so the gods to kill the gods to kill the Buddha, no matter how much harm and distress caused to those around them do not change their faces. But the laws of cause and effect in the world are always balanced, refusing to face their fears, is sooner or later to face the big machine of life to beat.
The use of fear to drive a child, and often no way to see the real “success”. In the end, what is cultivated may be a perverse parasitic relationship like Mom and Dad, or a child who is completely headstrong and selfish and completely alienated from his parents. These parents will sooner or later have to face the consequences of their own “chicken children”, but may not be willing to reflect on the mistakes they have made.
In the end, these parents who are crazy about their own fears will add to the already extremely anxious social environment, coupled with the capital machine that is extremely good at exploiting people’s fears for profit, resulting in a variety of tutoring classes and Olympiad business, resulting in those who were sitting and watching the show also had to stand up. Fear is contagious and amplifies each other.
I don’t know how the play will play out later, but I would love to see the characters let go of their obsessions or go on to talk about what a good education should look like.
I would think that it’s going to help children explore inward, find what they love, and face their fears. If a child lacks focus, procrastinates badly, and hates learning, then tapping into interests is more effective than emphasizing competition.
If a child explodes with a strong love for a particular field, then it is believed that a person will not live a bad life if they can do what they truly love in this life. It is not a subjective definition that one must go into a mainstream industry to “succeed” and do not use your narrow-minded fears to douse a rising star that may be on the rise.
If your child begins to have a competitive mindset under the influence of your class and your own social circle, it’s important for parents to stay sober and rational and try to guide your child to realize that the law of the jungle is a false proposition and how to find themselves in a toxic environment.
There is no standard answer to a child’s development. Because people, there should not be standard answers. There are some truths that you don’t need to be a parent to understand. Ask yourself within yourself, what is the happiest time? Is what you are doing and pursuing now really what you need, or is it a hostage to the general environment? What kind of experience do we want to leave in this world when we are born?
Only those who have figured out these questions in themselves first are enough to guide the growth of another life.
Recent Comments