Hello everyone, I am Tian Jing.
In the past two days, the circle of friends are worried about a 16-year-old boy. But whenever I search for related words, it’s all white. Once the topic is deleted, the world seems to be at peace.
But the more you don’t let it be said, the more I have to say about it.
- the school persuaded him to withdraw from school after the bullying
The first thing I want to tell you is that this is a very bad case of school bullying.
It happened at Dingfuzhuang Water Conservancy and Hydropower School in Chaoyang, Beijing.
The victim was 16-year-old Xiaohao. What did the abusers do to Xiaohao?
They dumped trash and put nails in Xiaohao’s desk and cabinet and bed.
When Xiaohao was in the bath, they would take away Xiaohao’s clothes.
If the above is just common school bullying, but the next behavior can simply be called sexual assault.
They climbed onto Xiaohao’s bed and went to touch his thighs, breasts and other intimate parts.
They forced Xiaohao to watch AV, took off his underwear directly to help him jerk off, and doused his genitals with flower water.
The physical torture is not enough, the abusers also know how to kill to kill the heart.
They record this whole process on video, send it to various groups to spread it, and even show it to girls in the classroom.
The campus Life of an ordinary student is worried about the teacher’s roll call, the homework after class, the crush and the few words he said to himself.
Xiaohao’s campus life, on the other hand, is a big adventure.
Even the most basic bathing, eating, going to class and sleeping are full of ninety-nine dangers.
What’s even scarier is that there is no telling when these dangers and abuses will come.
Even at 27 years old this year, it is still hard for me to imagine how I would face such a violent orgy launched against me by a group of people.
What’s more, Xiaohao was only a 16-year-old student.
In the midst of day after day of abuse, Xiaohao was diagnosed with major depression.
The only way he could think of to help himself was to seek the help of his teachers and school.
He identified the eight students who had committed the violence to his teachers, and the eight students confessed to their crimes.
I thought the next step would be to see the school administer justice, discipline and expulsion.
But no. Justice is in the hearts of the people, but the hearts of the people, in a variety of ways.
The school administration gave the eight abusers a form of punishment by simply writing a written review that.
“to complete the task of copying, future diligence itself, maintain class unity, do not bully fellow students, do not violate class rules and class discipline. “
This punishment is tantamount to punishing yourself with three cups, not even one ten thousandth of the damage Xiaohao received.
Xiaohao hopes that the school can increase the punishment of the perpetrators of violence.
However, the school’s response was.
“It is impossible to define whether what was suffered was school bullying or sexual assault.”
I really don’t understand. If this is not considered school bullying or sexual assault, is it a free gift from a classmate to Xiaohao?
In addition, the school also blamed Xiaohao, saying that it would be “too heavy” if it had to be defined that way.
The school even advised Xiaohao.
“They are just kids. Five-year classmates do not want to die. “
Yes, Xiaohao was only sexually abused, bullied and humiliated, the perpetrators are just kids, they just made a small mistake.
In order to put things to rest, the school administration was soft and hard, and even very thoughtfully put itself in Xiaohao’s shoes and said –
“Advise you to be forgiving because, after three years you leave school we can’t do our part to protect you as much as we do now, and we don’t want anything to happen to you in the future that we don’t want to see. “
The school’s instincts were right, and it didn’t have to wait to leave school. Little Howe then received a threatening text message from his abuser
What breaks my heart is that while the incident was festering on the internet, Xiaohao was still telling everyone.
Calm some, violence to violence does not work, go to school to block them, or say tube I want qq to cyber violence they are not desirable.
However, Xiaohao’s kindness did not come in exchange for kindness. Justice is slow to come.
The abuser was protected by the teacher.
And Xiaohao, not only to suffer physical and psychological double damage, but also face the pressure to withdraw from school and transfer.
Is this an isolated case?
When I reviewed a large number of school bullying incidents, I found that this kind of treatment outcome, surprisingly, is the norm.
- The cost of violence is too low
In almost all school bullying cases, the cost to the abuser can be almost negligible.
All the pain is borne by the bully alone.
Do you still remember Wang Jingjing?
In 2009, 17-year-old Wang Jingjing was a sophomore at Wenling Middle School when two male classmates accidentally broke her cup in a fight between classes.
Wang Jingjing’s desk said a joke – “Wang Jingjing this cup to three million, this Time you are miserable, to pay you! “
Because of this remark, Wang Jingjing was rumored to be a “pretentious green tea whore who threatened her classmates with 3 million dollars” on the posting bar.
At first, Wang Jingjing didn’t take the rumor seriously.
The next day the male students to compensate her cup money, she also waved her hand and said “this is just a small thing. “
I thought it was over, but soon after, a post appeared on Wenling Middle School’s posting bar, the post read – “Wang Jingjing cup was broken, male students personally apologized and said he was willing to pay 200 yuan, Wang Too little, must get 3 million before they will stop. “
All of a sudden, students vitriolic and vicious message overwhelmingly attacked.
“How so can pretentious ah, a cup worth 3 million? “
“Look at the clothes she is wearing, very cheap ah. “
“They are still using Nokia old people’s phones, when everyone is stupid? The real thing! “
For the next ten years, what awaited Wang Jingjing was a long period of school bullying, and her life was completely rewritten.
Some mocked her looks and figure and dug her Family background to the ground.
There were also rumors that she was a prostitute who showed off her wealth, had plastic surgery, and had numerous boyfriends.
There were also students from other schools who came from far away to besiege her and slap her dozens of times.
Whether in class or on foot, there are always a bunch of people around her whispering and even secretly filming her.
There were also boys who pretended to be her friend, only to trick her into posting her private photos on the Internet.
In the worst case, Wang Jingjing was walking on the school road when a girl who was walking towards her threw several fists at her.
Since then, she has never had any friends. She opened an account and tried to explain in a posting, but no one cared at all, and even more so when rumors were created.
In this collective orgy, every student is an abuser, they use the most vicious language and the worst action, a sunny and beautiful flower girl forced into a one-time 40 pills of drugs to try to kill themselves with severe depression.
Even the suicide was mocked as “old-fashioned” and “The company’s main goal is to make sure that the company’s customers are not too busy.
This orgy of bullying did not end as Wang Jingjing grew into an adult, but continued until she dropped out of school and joined the workforce, and even got married and had children.
She kept living her life carefully in hiding and incognito, but every once in a while someone would come along and stalk her, slander her, and lead a war of abuse against her.
Wang Jingjing’s decision to take up the legal fight came when she was six months pregnant.
At that time, the administrator who had led the rumor mill on campus postings about herself seemed to have been having fun with it, posting another abusive photo of her online and releasing her personal photos and private information.
The outcome of the case came out in 2018, and the person who started the rumor about her was sentenced to 3 months of detention.
But is the late justice, still justice?
Faced with this trial result, Wang Jingjing’s Parents were in tears.
“Can three months compensate for 10 years of my daughter’s life? “
How much of an impact did this have on Wang Jingjing?
In an interview with the host of “Talking to Strangers,” she said.
“I’m so afraid to deal with people in real life until now that I can’t work and have to work freelance. Before I came to record the show this time, I was afraid if there were people who hated me deliberately tricked me into coming here, and I sent my husband a location. “
Wang Jingjing looks back on the past 10 years of her life, the best years were completely buried by school bullying.
But look at the abusers, some even became teachers, or lead a really rich and decent life.
Who can she go to for an explanation?
“When I told the teacher that other students were beating me, the teacher said that the relationship with classmates was not good and to find the reason from themselves. My father’s words are even more chilling to me, my father is a farmer, my father is useless, who called people are officials. “
In the adult perspective, at the time of violence against Wang Jingjing, but also a group of underage children.
They lack the right values and are easily caught up in the orgy of group isolation of individuals, or perhaps this is the innate collective unconsciousness of human beings.
A child’s violence may carry genes from a complex human nature. We cannot expect a minor to self-educate.
The only thing that can be done is for adults to step in – to educate and punish the perpetrators and reassure the victims.
But in these shocking cases of school bullying, adults are always absent.
- Making the most of the situation
In the face of school bullying, the most common attitude of adults is.
It is normal for children to fight.
There are really some people who use the attitude of making peace with the situation and beat each other 30 times. The big thing is to make it small, and the small thing is to make it go away.
But this will undoubtedly make the cost of violence lower.
In the sensational “Zhongguancun two primary school bullying incident”, the boy was a classmate with a toilet trash can upside down on his head. The trash can contained urine and excrement-stained paper towels.
After the incident, the boy ran Home in the dead of winter in Beijing in November and bathed repeatedly in cool water, then went to the hospital and was diagnosed with “acute stress trauma.
The mother took her son to the school and demanded that the abuser apologize, accept treatment, pay for her child’s medical expenses, and ask the school to protect her son from secondary injuries.
The school rejected all of them.
During this time, four teachers took turns talking to the victim’s mother for three hours, with one goal in mind: this was just a little joke between the children, and they hoped the mother would drop the four demands.
After the mother’s clear refusal, the moral director, classroom teacher, secretary and vice principal, representing the school, began to take turns to address the victim’s mother, saying that “the school should be in charge of the child’s injury at school, and parents should not interfere too much. “.
In the end, the victim’s mother was even accused of being an “aggressive” mother. The victim’s mother was accused of being an “unqualified” mother.
One of the most unbearable details is that the school authorities, in order to calm things down and to prove that the children have a good relationship, even forced the injured child to play with the perpetrator, and took pictures of the two sides “living in harmony The school also took photos of the two sides “living in harmony” and sent them to the class group.
What do you mean by breaking your teeth and swallowing them in your stomach? What is called dumb and dumber, there is no way to say the bitterness?
In this incident, the school evaded responsibility on the grounds that the children were young.
But it is because the children are young, the three views are not yet well established, it is all the more necessary for the school to build a wall for them, to tell them what is the red line.
- A hotbed of violence against violence
In addition to teachers, there is another common misconception that parents have when faced with school bullying. That is – violence as a response to violence.
Influenced by Darwinism for too long, many parents hear that their children are being bullied and their first reaction is to educate their own children: fight back.
Even criminologist Li Meijin, more than once in the program to teach parenting methods – let the children themselves hit back.
The reason she gives is that this will allow the wrongdoing child to get a lesson, but also to fight back bravely to protect themselves and strengthen the exercise to form their own aura.
But is this really the case?
We know that whether it is active hitting, or violence to violence, it is a form of violence.
But some children are just naturally weak, some are just kind-hearted, and some don’t even dare to hurt an ant ……
Such children, how to let them fight back?
Forcing a child who does not want to be violent to be violent, forcing a good person to be evil, I really do not know what new type of homeschooling this is?
All I know is that many juvenile crimes are an extension of this.
I read a news story earlier.
A freshman student used his time after school to do some small business to supplement his living expenses.
But he was often bullied by three boys in the sports department. Not only did they not give him money for his purchases, but they also taunted and sarcastic him.
One day, the conflict completely erupted, and after another malicious bullying, he broke into the dormitory of the three boys of the sports department with a dagger and stabbed the abusers directly into two dead and one injured.
The victim had not previously sought help; he had told his teachers and sought help from his parents.
The teacher did not respond, and all he got from the parents was the comment and hint that “you are too much of a loser”.
In the “this little thing can not handle, do not deserve to be my son” speech stimulation, he chose to fight back. This fight is a sentence of several years.
We often say that we should protect minors and let them bask in the sunlight.
But why is it that when bullying occurs, adults put minors into the colosseum and watch them fight and compete with each other to see who has the harder fists?
Why allow the seeds of violence to take root and sprout in the good and innocent minds of children, cultivating a flower of evil?
Is this grooming the world for the next violent person, the next domestic abuser, the next brawler?
Remember, when we choose to respond to violence with violence, we are no longer in a position to eliminate it.
Adults should not be absent
If you were to ask me, how exactly should school bullying be completely eliminated?
I don’t have an answer for that either.
But I do know that if the bully is not punished and if there is no one to maintain justice, then school bullying will only get worse.
Once tolerance for evil is opened, then more evil will appear.
Therefore, Beijing Chaoyang Water Conservancy and Hydropower School must give Xiaohao a statement, and must give us all a statement.
Don’t let 16-year-old Xiaohao live the rest of his life in the humiliation and aggravation of being bullied.