One day, I was late getting home, almost dawn. I took a taxi to my doorstep, looked up, the light was on, and it felt so good to have someone waiting. When I picked up the key and was about to open the door, it occurred to me that I had forgotten to tell you that I would be home late again. You didn’t sleep all night just waiting for me. Since I left home, I’ve almost forgotten this feeling, I was out studying by myself.
One day, I had dinner at a foreign friend’s house. My friend’s mother cooked a table of food and we were playing a game. My friend’s mother said, “It’s time to eat,” but my friend didn’t go to the table and just continued to play her game, so I went to the table first. My friend’s mother was helpless, looked at me, served the food, my friend’s share was still warm in the oven, and didn’t call him. I thought of you, of the person I used to be. I don’t know how long it’s been since anyone called me to eat, but when I was alone, I was too hungry to cook for myself, and sometimes I would pick up cold rice and put it in my mouth.
One day, we ate dinner together at home, and it was so delicious that we hadn’t had a real hometown meal for a long time. I used to complain that you added sugar or salt or how rough the food looked.
One day, or every time, I called home, no matter how happy I was talking about which country I traveled in, or work and study above the small achievements, you hold the microphone at the other end of the line always ask these questions, “Recently, the body is good, there is no good care of themselves to eat a good meal? Did you go to bed?”, I suddenly remembered that I used to talk back impatiently as soon as you started saying this at home. But after I left home, these questions have never been asked by anyone but you.
One day, I took a picture wearing a beautiful dress, and suddenly remembered that you always wore those pieces in my memory. You go to work every day crowded bus, early morning and late evening, but also in the holidays to work, you are just an ordinary office worker, home, but also laundry and cooking chores, every penny inside the home are saving, just because there is a daughter out of school. You’re careful with your own money, but you always tell me that everything is fine at home, so I can spend my money with confidence.
One day, I just told you that it was cold and snowing, and your first reaction was not to be curious about how beautiful the snow scene was, but to ask me if I had a winter coat and to buy more. Then you sent me a big red down jacket (you know my favorite color) and a warm sweater. I want to tell you that ever since you sent them to me, I’ve been wearing them in the winter, and I love them, and I’m not so headstrong and wanting to save face as a kid anymore.
One day, when I heard from my cousin that I had changed a lot since you went abroad, I suddenly remembered that I was no longer a child, but a strange adult in your eyes. You had been so close to me, and I had gone so far away.
One day, I was far away from the world, and suddenly remembered that you had been waiting for me at the same place all along, and that your life was just going to work and going home to work and going home. I walked half the world, but you would always be at home waiting for me. Whether I was in Turkey, Ireland, England, Spain or Holland, you were always at home, or at work, or on your way to and from both. One day, I would like to take you with me to see this interesting world.
One day, I remembered what you’ve been telling me since I was a child, that a woman must have her own business. You have always been very independent, and after marrying your father, you also worked hard for the family’s livelihood, leaving yourself only a small amount of time to play 80 minutes on the computer at night before going to bed. On weekends, you don’t leave much space for yourself, running around for your grandparents and other sisters. I’ve asked you, complainingly, why you don’t have a life of your own, why you don’t even have your own dreams, and why you’re always living for others. Yes, at one time I thought you wanted a career but didn’t have a dream.
One day, I looked at a picture of you when I was a kid, and it occurred to me that I stole all your youth. You spent your best years taking care of me, and now, even though I’m far away, you’re still loving and caring for me in your own way. Every woman wants to be beautiful and young, but my presence keeps making you old and tired. However, I want to tell you that the memory of you as a child was really beautiful. I still am, and I definitely surpass Qingxia Lin.
One day, I was holding a neighbor’s newborn baby, and I remembered the way you held me then. I was once so small that when I cried, you rushed to coax me. When I grew up, I was disgusted by your simplicity. Other people’s mothers are actors, managers and writers, and they wear beautiful clothes, cosmetics and handbags, but you are just an ordinary middle-aged woman who goes to parent-teacher conferences, and I know that my ignorance must have hurt you. But after so long, I finally admired you from the bottom of my heart, because you are actually the most difficult mother in the world.
One day, I asked myself, I know your birthday, but do I know your dreams? I just wasted your whole life. Your once so shining youth was spent on me.
One day, people asked me why I was still writing articles with the name Jiaqian, not a different pen name. I was very proud to say that my mother gave me this name, which represents beauty and wisdom, the combination of Li Jiaxin and Nie Xiaoqian, although it became the eccentric me now. Actually, I don’t care what it means, but most importantly, because I know what you expect of me, and there is a wish I want to fulfill for you.
One day, I thought you didn’t have a dream, but suddenly I realized that you had a dream all along, but it was so deep that it was used on me. You and my father did your best to give me the best conditions, just an ordinary man’s family, but let me live the life I wanted. I also learned not to ask for anything extraordinary, but to go through all the way and work hard to let you know that your efforts were not in vain. I thought you didn’t have a dream, so I’ve been lording it over you, but I should have tried harder, because you’re in my dream too. Because I put the book I am writing on the cover with the name you gave me, Jiaqian, your hope for me, and your dream that you once had of literature. I will make it come true for you.
One day, I dreamt that I came home, you always cleaned it so well, my room still smelled familiar, and I slept soundly and peacefully in my own little bed.
One day, this daughter, who was far away in a foreign country, wanted to say to you, “Happy birthday. You will always be the most beautiful and wise woman in her eyes, and she is realizing a dream, and in this dream, there is you.
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