In our daily lives and work, anger is inevitable in terms of personal emotions, and it is also necessary in terms of defending our rights and interests, gaining the respect of others, and preventing others from making mistakes.
Most of us want to express our anger because we want it to have an effect, to deter others or to make them respect us more. “Give someone else a little credit. ” This is the inner thought of every person who has been hurt by others. When you express your anger, others will be intimidated and restrained, but they will also have varying degrees of resentment toward you. So how to express anger correctly to produce good results?
A. Do not get angry when you have to not get angry
The best way to fight a war is to win without fighting. Similarly, the best way to convince others is not to get angry. Anger is in the mind, how to do not get angry with people? You need to learn to focus on what you need to do.
When implementing a plan to focus on doing something, there will be constant thoughts of indifference and revenge that will break your inner peace. In fact, the process of focusing on doing things is not to treat people like air to get back at them, not to be indifferent to them, but to wait for a Time to negotiate and make up with them. The time has not yet arrived, you refuse to lower yourself to accommodate the other party, even if you can bend down, may not get the other party’s enthusiastic response. Do not hold grudges, to tolerate others’ mistakes with generous feelings, is a really hard thing. Keep calm, do not get angry, do not fall in the spirit, do not let your emotional mechanism dysfunction, out of control, so that everything is carried out in the normal state, is an important spiritual training course, is a good emotional habits we have to develop.
Second, wait for a good reason before expressing anger
You want to express your anger to others, you must have a good reason inside. If you don’t have a good reason, it is difficult to be angry with others. Even if you can be angry at others, you can not be justified, it is difficult to deter the effect of others, in the vulnerable party will also look down on you in the heart. In addition, angry for trivial things is not worth, this is the so-called big things about principles, small things about style. Therefore, we should cultivate the virtue of tolerance and humility.
Third, when angry do not sound and color
Blowing beard and eyes, shoot the table, jumping like thunder, etc., is the performance of the angry voice and color. Happy sad, angry liver, think hurt spleen, sad lungs, fear of kidney, heartbroken gall bladder, this is the theory of Chinese Medicine. Anger in a vocal manner directly hurts the internal organs of a person and affects the qi of the body. At the same time, it also brings harm to the recipient of the anger. People have a need to protect their self-esteem, and hurting someone’s self-esteem has no visible signs, but has the most far-reaching effects. So how do you control your emotions? “We feel sad because we cry, we feel angry because we struggle, and we feel afraid because we tremble. “This is James Lange’s theory of emotions. To reduce the damage of negative emotions such as anger, you have to learn to relax – or change the scene, or change a comfortable position to sit quietly for a moment, as a way to eliminate physical and mental tension.
Fourth, only give yourself and others constructive criticism
Our hearts are inevitably depressed and uneven, especially in times of disappointment. We are most likely to blame people close to us for our losses, and turn this unnamed fire to people around us that we can’t easily flare up to outsiders.
In “To Your health,” Psychology and Life advises people to never say anything bad about themselves. Look for the root causes of unhappiness that you can change by taking action in the future. Only criticize yourself and others constructively – and do something different next time to get what you want.
V. Express your thoughts in a different way
A thing, from a different perspective to look at, will have many different views. Be able to stand in the perspective of others to see the problem, in understanding the basis of others to express their views, is the most effective way. If you always stand in your own point of view to people to vent their discontent, others will certainly be discontented with you, and even in the heart of your selfishness and arrogance and ignorance, you yourself will also be guilty of this, and regret.
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