How much are you willing to pay to get back a failed relationship? This is the most common problem encountered by “emotional counselor” Xiaosheng. In this particular industry, they have also been given the title of “junior counselor”.
Xiaosheng’s own account: become a better version of yourself, is the best way to solve the relationship problem
In order to salvage a failed relationship, how much money are you willing to pay? This is the most common problem encountered by the “emotional counselor” Xiaosheng. In this particular industry, they are also known as the “junior persuader” title, because the business of persuading the “junior” can easily cost hundreds of thousands, is their most profitable business.
“I do not guarantee 100% success”, this is what he often says to customers, he will not promise to “persuade” after the success of the original rift in the relationship, it can be reconciled as before, “after all, the feelings thing, the variables are too big “.
Feng Jun stepped into a precisely planned vacation.
In the fall of 2020, Feng Jun went to the beach at the request of his wife Wang Yuan and began a 10-day vacation for the two of them. It was one of the few vacations the two had shared in the seven years of their Marriage.
During the vacation, Feng Jun received a friend request from an unknown man who warned him to disassociate himself from his “mistress” as soon as possible, “because she already has a boyfriend”.
The “mistress” in the man’s mouth is Feng Jun’s subordinate, and the dysfunctional relationship between the two has been maintained for several months. Feng Jun was surprised that his secret was known to outsiders, but also from the man’s implicitly threatening tone, understand the serious consequences of the relationship exposed.
The vacation gave Feng Jun enough Time to weigh the dangerous relationship and repair his feelings with his wife. At the end of the vacation, he and his female subordinate proposed a breakup.
Feng Jun did not know that the person who planned the vacation was his wife Wang Yuan, and the strange man who warned him was the “mistress persuader” hired by her – after the task was completed, they received the remaining 30% of the final payment from Wang Yuan.
Time went back a month or so, Wang Yuan appeared outside a low-rise office building in Hangzhou, delicate makeup can not hide her sad and tired. After much hesitation, she pushed the door and walked into one of the offices.
She was greeted by Xiaosheng, a “junior counselor” – a title given to him by the outside world, but he was more used to calling himself an “emotional counselor”.
After several hours of negotiation, Xiaosheng offered a price of $200,000 for the relationship that Wang Yuan was trying to salvage. The condition was for Feng Jun to break off the relationship with the object of his affair.
Xiaosheng said he would try his best, but did not make a promise of “100% success” because “there are too many uncontrollable factors in this matter of feelings”.
The vacation that made Feng Jun “change his mind” is part of this “dissuasive action”.
Xiaosheng check the background customer message.
Xiaosheng, 31 years old, applied psychology Education background, engaged in “emotional counselor” 6 years.
Before entering this line, he was just an ordinary guide. Because he has helped many friends successfully get off, friends call him “emotional guru”, half admiration, half teasing.
It was this name that made Xiaosheng see where his abilities lay. He then left the tour guide industry and set up a relationship consulting studio.
The studio has grown to a core team of eight people, some of whom are responsible for analyzing cases, managing “students” (Xiaosheng’s generic term for clients), and consulting on a daily basis, while others are responsible for finding leads on social media platforms and soliciting clients; and the long-term peripheral team, which is even larger in number, includes planners, actors, scriptwriters, and acting directors.
Xiaosheng instructs his staff to address client needs.
To feed such a team, the studio charges are not cheap, online consultation is about $1000 per hour, while offline action, the price starts at 150,000 yuan.
Known as “junior persuader”, Xiaosheng believes that this is a misunderstanding of the profession, because the studio’s range of services, but also package emotional counseling, confession, marriage proposal, compound …… but anything related to emotional problems, they do.
But Xiaosheng is also not averse to this title, it is undeniable that “to dissuade the junior, is our main, and most profitable business”.
Xiaosheng meets with clients to analyze the current situation and propose solutions to calm them down.
An interesting phenomenon is that almost all of those who are willing to pay for “dissuading the mistress” are women – Xu Lin, one of Xiaosheng’s clients, is one of them.
Xu Lin’s war with her “mistress” is full of drama.
After vaguely feeling that her husband had signs of cheating, Xu Lin had repeatedly confided in her best friend who lived in the same neighborhood and was also her son’s godmother, seeking help, but no evidence was ever found.
It was only when Xu Lin happened to bump into her best friend and her husband together that she understood that the “mistress” was actually her most trusted person. As the investigation deepened, Xu Lin also found that her husband had an illicit relationship with his best friend, which had lasted for three years.
Xiaosheng sorted out the client’s problems on the blackboard.
According to the information provided by Xu Lin, Xiaosheng’s team combed through and analyzed her bestie’s social network, “We found that the bestie also maintained an affair with multiple people of the opposite sex, but Xu Lin’s husband was not aware of it.”
For this reason, Xiaosheng selected the highest-value male actor in the team and packaged him as a rich second-generation image to create opportunities to meet Xu Lin’s bestie and then warm up the relationship.
When the time was right, with Xu Lin’s cooperation, in front of a hotel, Xiaosheng’s team created a scene in which the actor and his girlfriend walked out of the hotel together and had a “chance encounter” with Xu Lin’s husband.
The scene did not have the expected conflict scene, but Xu Lin’s husband and girlfriends, from then on, had a dislike for each other, and eventually did not happy.
In the process of telling this case, Xiaosheng did not complacent, he sighed, “even if the ‘mistress’, the original pair of feelings between the cracks, it is also difficult to close”.
“As far as I know, Xu Lin has not been out of the betrayed hurt, after the Family moved away from the original neighborhood”.
Not all the persuasion process is as tortuous as this case, “we also send female counselors, and the third party contact, persuasion and guidance to her, so that she actively out of the original relationship”.
But this approach works very slowly, “some last six months, or even a year or two, the cost consumption is too large.
Xiaosheng appease suspicious girl, “persuade” planning into emotional diversion.
The panic of “junior”, not only exists in married women. More and more young girls are also beginning to seek the help of emotional counselors.
Recently to Xiaosheng consulting the “cheating” business, is a young 24-year-old girl. She suspected that her boyfriend, who had been in love for more than a month, had “cheated” on her, and the clue was that her boyfriend was becoming less and less patient with himself, “very sensitive to cell phone messages, often chatting secretly with people in the middle of the night”.
The girl’s boyfriend launched an investigation, “I even contacted his friends to understand the situation of boys”, he quickly confirmed that the boy did not cheat on his behavior, just more like playing games, and he chatted with people, but also more of his game friends.
On the contrary, Xiaosheng believes that the girl’s character is suspicious, control desire, expressing emotions “too hard”, which is the main reason for its relationship with her boyfriend to cold.
The task of “dissuading the mistress” eventually turned into Xiaosheng’s emotional guidance to the girl.
When Xiaosheng first joined the industry, “emotional counseling” is still a relatively cold industry. In recent years, he found more and more “peers”, including a large number of “emotional counseling” signboard, to “get off quickly” as a gimmick of “PUA” training institutions. This makes Xiaosheng feel anxious and angry, just a few years, he has contacted hundreds of PUA victims. The latest one to seek help from Xiaosheng is a junior college girl, Xiao Jiang. “Xiao Jiang came to me originally to help me win back her boyfriend who had just broken up,” for which she paid a $1,000 consulting fee. But in talking with Xiao Jiang, Xiaosheng increasingly felt that the situation was not right.
The day-to-day work of Xiaosheng is to help students solve their emotional problems online.
According to Xiao Jiang’s account, she and her boyfriend met on the Internet, and he is three years older than her and has joined the workforce.
Xiao Jiang only has 1,500 yuan a month to live on, but in a year’s time, she has spent tens of thousands of yuan for her boyfriend, and even needs to use online loans to keep up with her expenses.
The boyfriend often in the circle of friends to show off rich, “but at every turn to buy themselves thousands of dollars of sneakers”; promised to give the payroll card to Xiao Jiang custody, but never fulfilled, in the process of their relationship, the boyfriend only once out of the money to see a movie; each meeting with Xiao Jiang, only to have sex, a little less than desired, will threaten to break up; in the daily chat , the personality of Xiao Jiang, self-Perception constantly suppressed ……
By reviewing the boy’s interaction with Xiao Jiang, analyzing the chat records kept online, Xiaosheng quickly concluded: this is a typical case of PUA, Xiao Jiang is the victim.
Xiaosheng, who encountered the problem, fell into contemplation.
Xiaosheng believes that the most urgent task is not to help Jiang and her “boyfriend” back together, but to wake up the girl, so that she can get rid of the pathological dependence on the man.
“But she did not accept my advice, but blamed me for not being able to give a good plan to get back together, and soon ended the consultation.
“These black sheep (PUA teaching institutions) should be completely shut down”, Xiaosheng believes that a real emotional counselor should help people find love and learn to love, while PUA institutions, on the other hand, awaken the most evil side of human nature and treat relationship objects as targets for hunting and killing.
“Many girls think that it is the ‘junior’ stole their boyfriends, but in fact there is nothing ‘junior’ at all, they are just the victims of PUA.”
Xiaosheng is recording short videos to promote herself through multiple short video platforms.
When he first joined the industry, Xiaosheng often worried about the future, one is “emotional counseling” is a remote industry, the second is “this business is too closed”, customers often find Xiaosheng with private needs, even if the case is successful, it is difficult for him to bring word of mouth and new sources of customers.
A few years later, Xiaosheng’s studio saw a turnaround, not only from clients, but also from many people who came to him through social media platforms, and Xiaosheng said, “It seems that people have suddenly become more open to emotional issues.
The demand from clients has also gone from simple “dissuading a mistress” or emotional confusion to the bizarre, “I even met a pregnant third party who was willing to pay a large sum of money and asked us to help break up the original family… …”
“I turned her down on the spot,” says Xiaosheng.
A fifth-grade girl, who contacted Xiaosheng herself, opened up and asked how she could chase a boy in her class “who liked another girl.”
“We talked for about 10 minutes, and I suggested that if she got to the top five in her grade, maybe a boy would actively like her.” Xiaosheng said that, of course, that consultation was free.
After work in the office to review the day’s chat and the content.
Xiaosheng believes that China’s emotional counseling industry is just starting, “compared to the United States, we still have a lot of room for growth; as the material level increases, the spiritual level of demand will also appear.
Xiaosheng opened his cell phone, there were countless messages and missed calls, “Teacher, are you still there? Very urgent”, “Teacher, wake up and help me look at this chat log, how do I continue to talk to my girlfriend next?” ……
For 2/3 of her working day, Xiaoyun is busy handling these calls and messages.
“Human feelings are much the same, but the resulting troubles are varied,” Xiaosheng said, adding that despite having seen too many get-togethers and dogged drama, he still believes in love – and last year, he started his own family.
“In the past few years, I’ve also been exploring my true self, and my understanding of human relationships has been changing. I used to think that a good relationship should be free of conflict. Now I understand that when we like each other, we are mutually scarce, and scarcity, is the eternal contradiction.”
(All characters in this article are pseudonyms to protect the privacy of the parties involved)
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