Mr. and Mrs. Weng Xiangui attend their daughter’s wedding in 2017
Because of an unexpected opportunity, Hunan Miluo’s Weng Xiangui couple was able to set aside the cloud of doubt that had been hanging over their minds.
For 23 years, the couple had thought that the birth control ring in their wife Wu Yuxia’s body had been taken out in the township birth control office that year. It was only in June this year that the local government conducted free cancer screening for women of the right age, and Wu Yuxia’s diagnosis of “intrauterine visible birth control ring” made the couple finally understand that The reason why they wanted to have a second child for many years but never got it.
Today, Mr. and Mrs. Weng Xiangui are over half a century old, a “stealth” birth control ring, to the two is a lifetime of regret can not be solved.
The “invisible” birth control ring
In 1991, Weng Xiangui and his wife Wu Yuxia got married and gave birth to a daughter in the same year. The new life brought joy to the family, but the two still “wanted to have a boy”.
Not long after, his wife became pregnant unexpectedly. Weng Xiangui said, “the local policy at the time, if the first child is a daughter, full six years before the second child is allowed. “So, Wu Yuxia in the local government arrangements and guidance for abortion surgery, followed by birth control in the township birth control office on the birth control ring.
Six years later, the couple received a birth permit for their second child from the Miluo Family Planning Committee, as they had hoped. In August of the same year, Wu Yuxia had the birth control ring removed from the village family planning committee under the leadership of Director Li, the women’s director of the village committee.
Director Lai revealed to Shumian that among the people who took out the ring with Wu Yuxia in the same batch, some of them successfully gave birth to their second child afterwards.
But Wu Yuxia has not been able to conceive, the couple in the inner deposits of fertility anxiety is growing, and began to have to put their hopes on seeking medical treatment.
Wu Yuxia said that in 1997, the two went to a second hospital in Changsha for a checkup, the doctor had asked if the ring had been removed, and after receiving an affirmative answer, the doctor did not give Wu Yuxia another ultrasound examination because “there was no need “. After a period of treatment without improvement, the two went to Miluo City People’s Hospital in 1998 for medical treatment. Wu Yuxia recalls that the doctor found nothing abnormal by matching her husband’s sperm with her own eggs. “The doctor told me it was a blocked fallopian tube, and then flushing treatment was performed. “As for still not having an ultrasound, Weng Xiangui recalled afterwards, “the doctor also asked us at that time if we had taken the ring, we said we had, and after that the doctor did not say What. “
Two visits to the doctor, both missed the ultrasound test, which allows the birth control ring is still in the body of Wu Yuxia’s secret, lost in the early years of the opportunity to be opened.
In the following two or three years, the couple turned to barefoot doctors, looking for prescriptions. In addition to playing suspension water to reduce inflammation and eat a variety of herbal medicines, sometimes the two will also believe in ghosts and gods, bowing to the Bodhisattva, drinking a bowl of “was given” of plain water, mouth muttering “I beg the Bodhisattva to bless ……”
However, whether seeking medical help or worshipping Buddha, the couple always failed to get what they wanted after, and finally had to give up reluctantly. “Before and after a total of 50,000 to 60,000 yuan, when doing work for 10 yuan a day, two or three years after not pregnant, the child to study, the family to expenses, has been looking at it is not the way. “
The turnaround came “late” after 20 years.
In early June 2020, the local government arranged for free cervical and breast cancer screening for rural women of the right age. After the ultrasound, Miluo City Maternal and Child health Hospital doctors told Wu Yuxia that she still had a birth control ring in her body.
“You’re talking nonsense, there is no ring, there is a ghost ring. “When Wu Yuxia told her husband the news, this was Weng Xiangui’s first reaction.
However, the next fact that happened left both of them speechless. The next day, after Wu Yuxia completed another ultrasound test and removed the birth control ring, the doctor at Miluo Maternal and Child Health Hospital informed her, “This is the ring from the 1990s, the current one is not like this. “
The late truth pointed the only possibility once again to August 1997. The couple firmly believes that “the birth control ring has remained in the wife’s body because the doctor at the birth control office did not remove it that year. “
Wu Yuxia said to the deep once, the year to take out the ring physician did not show it has been taken out of the ring, “when the doctor finished ‘can be, the next The next one.’ I thought I had taken it out and didn’t think much about it. “She mentioned that a handwritten note was left as a voucher after the removal of the ring, but because of its age, this voucher has been lost. “At the time, I would never have thought how to save this when the ring was not taken out. “
On November 13, Director Lai confirmed to a deep reporter that he had indeed taken Wu Yuxia to get the ring, and added: “I was standing outside, so I did not know the process and results of taking the ring. “
The birth permit for the second child issued to Mr. and Mrs. Weng Xiangui by Miluo City Family Planning Committee in 1997
A hard-to-reach truth
After 23 years, it has become difficult to find out the truth about whether the IUD removal incident was a medical accident or another reason.
Weng Xiangui couple repeatedly reflect, hope that the relevant departments to give a statement and compensation for losses, but the year for his wife to remove the ring doctor is currently unaccounted for. The town government replied, “So much time has passed that the staff of the town’s birth control office has changed. The archives of that year only 14-15 years, it is impossible to investigate which link was wrong at that time. “
Weng Xiangui said that the Luojiang town government gave a mediation program is a one-time compensation of 20,000 to 30,000 yuan, or to the couple for 180 yuan per month of low income. In this regard, Weng Xiangui and his family is difficult to accept.
According to previous media reports, Luojiang town deputy mayor in charge of population and family planning work Zhou Hailin said, “I can’t possibly compensate him for another child right now. “On November 11, Miluo Municipal Party Committee Propaganda Department related personnel said the situation has been made to the relevant functional departments to give feedback. “To solve the problem or functional departments to come forward.
Trapped in the “regret”
The idea that Mr. and Mrs. Weng Xiangui “want a second child” began two or three months after giving birth to their daughter.
In an interview with Deep Once, the two have repeatedly confessed their desire to have a boy. The two of them said they wanted to have a boy. “Rural people, and in those days, this kind of thinking has always been there. “
The concept of fertility in rural society is deeply rooted in reality. Weng Xiangui always felt that he, as a farmer, had suffered a loss when the team divided the land. Like most rural areas in China, the “rule” of land distribution in the team where Weng Xiangui’s family lives is that after a girl marries out, she is not considered a local person, and even if her household registration remains in her Even if the household registration remains with her mother’s family, she cannot be allocated land. The 52-year-old farmer said, “If the second child can give birth to a son, and the son has a grandson, the family will have three or four mu of land. “
When seeing people of his age around him with children and grandchildren, “I’ll be honest, I’m still not happy about it. “Weng Xiangui afraid to compare with others,” a team of my peers born in the same year as me, the other six people have had a second child, at least one boy. “He has never been able to let go, and will call themselves” no offspring, can not lift the head of the people. “
This inner entanglement, in part, also comes from the neighbors’ cold words. Because of his inability to have children, some people once gossiped that “maybe he had a bad conscience in his past life. When he quarreled with others over daily disputes, they called him “qi dai gong “(local dialect, meaning no one to take over the generation).
In earlier years, such repressed emotions would suddenly erupt, often escalating into a family conflict.
Around 2004, after the couple quarreled over trivial matters, Wu Yuxia accused her husband of “playing cards at home, not doing anything and not seeking advancement. You just think I didn’t give you a son. Weng Xiangui would say back, “Other people make money and have people to use, I make money and have no one to use! Other people have sons, sons to marry wives, you want to bring up grandchildren. I make money for who? “.
Even though they are obsessed with having a son, Mr. and Mrs. Weng Xiangui said that they can actually accept a daughter for their second child, so that they can have a son-in-law in the future.
When their daughter was 12 years old, her uncle, who had already given birth to a boy, sparked another hope in the hearts of Mr. and Mrs. Weng Xiangui. The couple found Weng Xiangui’s own brother to discuss, has been pregnant with a second child brother-in-law secretly born, whether male or female, and then passed on to their own family. However, the sister-in-law was discovered to be over-born, the township government to “demolish the house” forced, the child was aborted, the plan was also aborted.
When her daughter, Weng Xidi, grew up, her parents talked to her and told her to get a son-in-law, or at least not to marry too far away. After studying at university and working outside, Weng Xidi got married and had children and settled down in Changsha. “Or married far away, had hoped she could marry Miluo, no way, grow up not by people. “The couple had no choice but to respect the wishes of the child.
After growing up, Weng Xidi can also appreciate the parents’ desperate desire for a second child back then, “After getting older, the elderly also want to keep someone around to take care of themselves. She believes that the parents’ concept of son preference is related to the cultural background of the rural areas, “including my grandfather is also very patriarchal. “Although I do not agree, but I can understand.
What makes the two old men happy is that the daughter’s family sometimes brings their 3-year-old grandson home for a visit. Weng Xiangui loves his grandson, and always persuades his daughter to have another one, and put it in the old home for himself. “Sometimes I can’t wait for their family to come back every day. “
Daughter and grandson is not in the days, the couple will fall into a long period of silence and loneliness, Wu Yuxia has some deafness, Weng Xiangui usually make a bowl of tea, turn on the TV, to add a few “lively” to the quiet room “. Weng Xiangui had envisioned that if the second child can be born a boy, they will certainly “raise their heads”, to go to the door and talk, to pass a long evening. But now, he can’t prepare for such a mood in any way.
(At the request of the interviewee, Weng Xidi is a pseudonym)
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