Seven years ago at this time, I was about to graduate with a doctorate and was about to embark on a teaching position in a university in the west. At that time, all I wanted to do was to teach well in my life. I had little hope for my academic future.
What was the reason?
During the three years of my doctoral studies, my biggest gain was not academic, but the absurdity of China’s academic production system and the desertification of the spiritual world of readers, which was almost desperate and painful.
At major academic conferences, I often saw a scene that baffled and disgusted me: according to common sense, it should be the editors of the journals surrounding the professors and professors to ask for articles and try to get closer to the scholars. On the contrary, at the meeting, all the professors and scholars were trying their best to please the editors of the journals, rushing to get in touch with them and exchanging business cards.
At the dinner table after the meeting, the professors took turns to toast and offer words of flattery to the university’s plutocrats.
The monopoly of academic resources by the university and journals has led to the fact that most people’s thoughts are not spent on the academics themselves, but on making connections and accumulating contacts.
I have always been proud of myself and do not like to please others, and I know that under this set of rules, I will not be able to play with others, so I should be ready to lie flat and quit early, and plan to be indifferent to fame and fortune.
During the years of my doctoral studies, I was even more disappointed with the Chinese academic community when I saw the low level of realism, the barrenness of the spiritual world, and the lack of intellectual sentiment of some young liberal arts teachers at this century-old university, one of the best universities in China.
Those who study Athens, Greece, have no civic spirit and only study by rote. He does not show the slightest concern for the fate of the individuals crushed by the ashes of the times.
Those who study the French Revolution are devoid of sentiment and thought, and their heads are full of lifeless historical materials. He knows nothing else.
Post-doctoral students who think highly of themselves, but look like an old woman in the Wuhan market, full of worldly taste.
The study of a certain religion, a little bit of the spirituality of the reader is not, full of mercenary habits.
The study of so-and-so Enlightenment movement, they have no Enlightenment spirit ……
After seeing more of these pseudo-young scholars and pseudo-young talents, I can’t help but wonder: why do these people, whose heads are full of humanistic knowledge, have no humanistic qualities? How can people who have no humanistic feelings inside do humanistic research, and publish one topic after another and one paper after another? Whose joke is this? Whose sorrow is this?
Seeing these liberal arts peasants in their thirties and forties, I cannot help but ask: Is this the academic spirit of China at present? Is this the future direction of Chinese academics? Are the liberal arts teachers at these top universities the navigators of the Chinese spiritual world?
Of course, it is not that there are no outstanding liberal arts peers, only that the number is pitifully small.
The spiritual aspirations of most of the science and engineering professors at this century-old university are even more desperate. As long as they sit together, all they talk about are cars and houses, and all they have in mind is how to use the subject to make more money. The spiritual world is almost entirely covered by fame and profit.
I graduated with a doctorate and went to teach at a university in the west. In the first two years of my career, I applied for two provincial philosophical and social science projects under the repeated appeals of the college leaders, in order to help the college complete the task of scientific research declaration. As a result, for two consecutive years, almost all the other doctors won, but I just couldn’t win.
At first, I was puzzled until I picked up the list of approved topics, then it dawned on me. In the subject of history, 95% of the topics were given to “a local ……. In the field of world history I read, the subject of the winning bid, the province’s total of only two, and it is said that you need to mix to get acquainted, to get.
Forget it, do not play. Perhaps, the western provinces only need local history research, not world history research. I studied world history, to work in the western provinces, maybe it was a mistake to begin with. Let’s not get involved. Let’s do our teaching job well and not compete for any fame or fortune.
I have made a good plan to follow the fate of my title in this life, anyway, I am single, not married, living alone, and do not need much money. If not for the papers published during my PhD, I did not even plan to evaluate the associate title that year.
In the past few years, I have not published a single paper and have not applied for a single project. I never thought it was because of my poor level. On the contrary, I was very confident that among all the teachers in the school, I was definitely among the top in terms of academic depth, but I just didn’t like the rules of the game in the Chinese academic system.
However, even though I was unconcerned with the world, there were still people who did not feel comfortable with me.
They do not see their own intellectual poverty, nor do they see the efforts, aspirations and talents of others. They are so small-minded that they even care about their students’ evaluation scores, and they are so eager to please their students that they say they don’t care about anything. While others really don’t care, they always think that others actually care as much as they do, and always suspect that others are cheating themselves.
This is the ugly state of Chinese “intellectuals” that seeps out from their bones. They live in the illusion that they are the elite. When they have nothing else to do, they always like to make some vague comments, stand outside the yellow line, and criticize the system in a painless way. That is just to label themselves as “sentimental”. Once they touch the specific things around them, they dare not do any resistance, but will only be wary of colleagues around them in the student evaluation, in the economic income …… than themselves.
Recently, the school engaged in the fourth round of hiring every three years. In terms of performance results, I ranked last in the college and was estimated to be demoted to lecturer. Some people can finally sneak in and take a long sigh of relief. After years of watching me closely and suspecting me for years, they can now finally feel relieved and believe that I am really uncontested in the world and really do not care about those small interests and honors.
In April 2020, I was suffering from mood swings triggered by a mid-life crisis, and in order to find an outlet for my soul, I picked up my dream of being a writer in my youth and started writing public articles.
In just one year, I surpassed most similar public numbers that had been operating for years. I am not bragging to say that the readers’ evaluation of my articles is very high, no matter in terms of writing, skills, perspective, ideas and depth.
Many of these readers are professors of 985 universities and foreign students, highly educated immigrants, and the industry generally believes that readers who can enjoy my articles and have spiritual resonance with me must have very high inner quality and cultivation.
This inevitably aroused the eyes of some people and secret jealousy in their hearts: “Why is it that the same associate professor or professor, or the same doctor, or the same university teacher, why is it that he can write articles outside and reap a certain amount of fame and profit? “
Now it’s good. If I am demoted to a lecturer and get less money than them, their hearts may be able to restore some balance.
However, for me, what other people think is of secondary importance. As a middle-aged person, I have long since lost sight of fame and fortune.
During the seven years I worked at this school, I watched other colleagues working part-time and buying one house after another, but I was not impressed. Although several publishers contacted me to translate books, a book translation, can earn tens of thousands of dollars, I have never refused to earn extra money part-time, but spend several tens of thousands of dollars every year, once the winter and summer holidays to do a long trip around the country and other countries.
My travel philosophy is “with humanistic care, walking on the road”. The people and things I see and the cultural impact I encounter in other places broaden my spiritual horizon and enrich my spiritual orientation. This is the most valuable treasure of my life. This wealth has given me the height and breadth to stand on the podium and help more western students broaden their horizons, break their solidified perceptions, and activate their rigid thinking.
Looking down on money, until now, I didn’t even plan to buy a car.
When you are worried, look up at the starry sky, you know how small human beings are. When I can’t think about it, I can look at the Andromeda galaxy three million light years away and know how short life is.
So what if you are demoted from associate professor to lecturer? I am lying flat, not involved in any unit of interest, time and energy to save, peace of mind to write their own self-published articles.
I don’t need to please any journal editors to write good articles for readers to read. I don’t need to curry favor with any academic valve, and after a few years, I can publish a book in my own collection. The recognition of many strange readers from all over the country, from Europe, America, Australia, Japan and other countries is my greatest spiritual satisfaction.
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