I went to a few classes over the weekend, and it was about love marriage and family. The teacher is a famous counselor in the industry, the students in the class are spending real money to buy knowledge, I dabbled in the class, can secretly get the PowerPoint is really not easy wow. See many students are couples come to class together, it is said that couples who have come to class together, the waist is not sore, legs do not hurt, just find someone to marry will also feel very happy. Come on, I’ll analyze with the big guys in the end is not such a ha. The general like me, often have to whole something to say things, seems to have a heartfelt respect for such a lesson, but also a heartfelt respect.
There are several wrong views about marriage.
1, must find the right person.
Nani? Not to find the right person, is it just a crooked, buckle-footed shaky-legged man can be married? Do you just find a fat, dark and frustrated phoenix hibiscus on the marriage? Do not get excited, although the teacher’s lesson is a bit biased, but the truth can be clear, you must find the right person, this little fresh words full of future aspirations and ignorance of the present. The two people in the love relationship, not at the beginning is the right person for each other, can only be said to be each other for the dish, he can put up with your cautious bad temper, she can help you cook, laundry and brush the toilet, these mutual performance for the dish, not mutual performance for the right, love is two people slowly feel, grow gradually each other into the right person process, of course, the premise is certainly if you can accept the TA into your life La, if not for each other dishes, do not force to chew la, because no matter how you improve yourself, face yourself, you do not love to eat things, barely eat will indigestion it. But a little bit of ordinary dishes, eat and not pregnant la. Because you don’t know what you thought was right at the beginning of the person, and finally can only sing and leave secretly oh.
For those who vow to find a “you had meat hello” (your sentence I actually like this phrase), those who are obsessed with finding a “you raise me up to more than I can be” (inspire me, make me beyond myself. I actually really like this phrase) for people, wake up, there is no one in this world who will give you unlimited power once you meet, only through the constant efforts of two hearts, you can reach such a state, in a space even if you do not talk, it is not awkward, in a matter, even if there are differences, there will be no conflict, in a time, even if they are not in the same space, they will not feel the distance. And all this, through the two people’s constant, no! countless! The two of them try (attack) and try (efforts) to get. In fact, married with who are the same, the last thing you need to face or yourself, the other side is just a reflection of your ability to love yourself, when you really progress, now the marriage is the best.
SO: find a good person you will marry (marry) it.
2, the next partner will be all different.
What? Article like making mistakes also forgiven? Zhang Ziyi like the frequency of changing boyfriends like the rate of appearances also do not mind? Every conscious search for the perfect partner inside the person always has a variety of rules and regulations, right? I was so ashamed of myself for being so silly and naive that I wanted to marry someone who could write better than me. The partner we choose is usually the kind of person we aspire to be or want to be, or at least the other person’s body shines with some kind of light you need (including the money, knowledge, body you desire), and when it all faces collapse, you will not also call the other person scum, and call yourself blind? Slow down a bit, if your marriage is in danger of divorce, turn around and face yourself, what is wrong with you and why you are not becoming right, if you have no way to recognize what is right and what is not right with you, you have no way to face the next person as well, but only to get more lost from the freshness. Divorce and changing partners is not the solution to the problem, it merely delays the problem. Changing may bring a momentary sense of freshness and relief, but getting rid of only the causative factor of the problem, not the problem itself.
- I have to save the marriage.
My good rondy winter! Is it crazy again, (perhaps you have started to spray me: just told me to try to maintain the marriage, and now say do not try to save, you are fucking kidding me?) Slow down, to keep up with me, do not pull the bull’s-eye with me to go ah, I am with reason and feelings to come, pure reason so is not open enough oh, or a little emotion ha. Save yourself is to save your marriage, do not try to save the world to save the idea of others, put aside all kinds of practices to save the relationship, take care of yourself first. When your life has changed, the marriage will naturally change as well. The state of your marriage is just a reflection of your attitude towards life. So the most real or focus on yourself, instead of endlessly pleasing each other, how about pleasing yourself first.
4, responsibility in the TA.
Every independent, responsible people, should clearly know the development of things in this two people or even two family tandem relationship, any party can not get off the hook and responsibility.
For your happiness, you should be responsible only for yourself. Only if you accept yourself, you can accept the love of the other party. The other party is not doing well, in fact, because you do not value yourself.
5, I need to stimulate.
Three years of the can, six years of the itch. In those dull days, you are not eager to come to a couple of swear words to relieve boredom, and your partner has closed even such a stimulus tightly.
When your marriage seems empty and boring, you don’t really need excitement, but courage. You need to have the courage to look at the existing track, to get out of the comfort zone of stagnant water, and to take some risks in line with your inner needs. In this way, your life will immediately come alive, without the need to stimulate from the outside.
6, true love will eventually come.
Ah that what, Lihong is not singing “love you equal to love yourself” well, really master psychological bricklayer well! The company also said, love yourself more love you. Look, he did not also find true love, when he let go, Yundi also immediately found, see how important it is to love yourself, at once became four people! When you dream of true love, you are actually expecting a perfect partner to make up for your shortcomings. Because the perfect partner does not exist, so the dream of true love will only add to your blockage. This one also please refer to the explanation of 1 and 2 it.
- It hurts to tell the truth.
It is true that telling the truth hurts, but it is also the only way to heal. The truth is the turning point to get out of the grey everyday life and build a beautiful relationship. Keeping secrets may sound romantic, but it doesn’t work in reality. Open up and tell the truth. Psychological studies have shown that two people in a social situation can share something or reveal something about themselves to each other that they don’t know, and it will quickly bring them closer together, and the same goes for marriage. The truth is that reality is cruel, the truth is naked, praise is needed, confession is necessary. La la la, this I do not say much, the guys are read people, must not be difficult to understand wow.
8, I have to go along with the TA.
The reason you do this is because you are afraid of confrontation. Most marriages do not die in the battle between the two, but in the concessions become weak and rigid. To say “no” at the right time, this is vital to the marriage.
Forgiveness, patience, and concessions are wonderful qualities in a marriage, DEFINITELY! Bart, the TA you treat, after knowing that you have an infinite amount of tolerance, may get the better of you. My parents’ relationship was such a never-even tug-of-war, with my mom constantly holding back and letting go, and my dad constantly being aggressive and pulling, soon winning the game with absolutely no suspense and no points to watch. Occasional confrontation, is a double-edged sword, after the storm will also have two scenes, this is a confrontation of the art, and completely no confrontation of the marriage believe that like a forever calm sea, do you think it is possible?
Do not go along with TA, it is not harmonious? Harmony? Harmony? Harmony! I am not talking about the “Chinese dream” to build a harmonious society and develop Chinese **socialism. Men love to use this as an excuse to avoid discussing the issue in depth. If all dissatisfaction is covered under the cloak of harmony, people have to repress themselves. Only people who are good at venting negative emotions know how to enjoy the coziness and vitality.
Summary.
For those who love to listen to “Finally Waiting for You”, it is recommended to listen to “I will not be alone” instead. Every prince and princess are waiting for their destiny to return, very romantic and aspiring isn’t it, but, but, the problem you have to see if you are a prince, not a princess wow? This dream to do it, China’s 1.5 billion people, everyone is a prince and princess, then the world no one to work it pro ~ ~
“I will not be alone, for a person to wait for a person, and wasted the ability to love. “Blind wait blind toss is a waste of time wasted ability to waste, so that we are used to a person, but also constantly in the name of the label, I am looking for themselves, meet themselves, especially those pretentious to think that travel to meet their own older children, a unhappy to quit travel to find themselves, turn back not The same also have to face three meals a day, stingy bosses, creepy uncle?
Let’s see if everyone is F5 view of marriage and love, this is right, the core of the eight points are “focus on yourself”, that is, focus on their own inner, spiritual, and The core of the eight points is “focus on yourself”, that is, focus on your own inner, spiritual, feelings. Sometimes when your actions and statements are torturing others, turn to torturing yourself. Inner growth will allow you to see the bigger world.
Finally, to quote the teacher, married to a female counselor or married to a male counselor are very happy, because they are always “torture” themselves. The first thing you need to do is to get a good idea of what you’re doing. But why, after reading and writing, I am more determined to find a right person’s view, no, to find a mutual dish of people, because first of all, the first point is not right, the next 7 points will be difficult to right ah. I can’t lower some of my standards, I can’t live with a person who has a reversed view, or who I simply don’t like, even if it’s so hard to meet someone in life who is very much like and compatible both in appearance and inside, I still believe, I still insist, this is no matter how I “torture “I will not compromise on anything.
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