It was a black summer, the heat was mixed with anxiety and confusion in the mind. The first and second year students were on summer vacation, and the regular midterm “ceremony” had been blown away by the storm, leaving the third year graduating class looking forward to their fate. In the classroom, an embarrassing “trial” was taking place. The presiding officer was a T-meister in the school cafeteria, and because he was in the party, he had the “honorable” job.
He was sitting at the podium with a stack of student files in his hand, in fact, the “history” of all the students’ families, and he read out in a sharp voice the details of family composition, parental origin, political stance, etc. in each student file, just like a judge reading out an indictment. Then the students judged according to the content of the file, and by a show of hands on the spot, whether the students can continue to vote, the voting results are always “one-sided”, those students with good family composition, almost unanimous vote through the recommendation of further education, while those with “high” family composition The vote was always “one-sided”, and those students with good family composition were almost unanimously recommended for further education, while those with “high” family composition and bad parents were almost all defeated by zero votes.
My family’s political background at the time was in a very bad category, with my father, historically an officer in the Kuomintang, still in prison. The voting result was predictable and I had no illusions about it. Although I never dared to hide my family’s black background from the Party, the increasingly tight political climate and unreasonable daily humiliation had left me shivering all day long, suffering the torment of my soul day after day with a broken hat covering my face. But at this point, I still feel like a child with physical deformities being stripped naked and casually viewed and critiqued in full view of the public. The “children who can be educated well, such as particularly good performance, can be considered for recommendation”, this sounds very warm, but it is clearly the “shame” of that systemic discrimination, but is so prestigious, legitimate and reasonable, no one can question, nor I have no right to defend myself.
My cheeks burned like fire, and my head was barely raised as I waited for the expected “death sentence”. In fact, there are a large number of people with the same fate as me. I remember a classmate from a working family who was expected to pass, but unexpectedly, because his father had received a minor administrative punishment, and the presenter’s ducky reading, which drew laughter from the whole audience, a serious topic was actually “aborted” in the farce, and the result was also eliminated by zero votes. The result was zero votes.
The podium on the high level of the presenter, the corners of the mouth to reveal a faint smile, he only need to pronounce the text, and easily watch the bottom of these innocent and simple “little” people crowded each other, dumping, one bruised and bloodied, his heart swept a trace of satisfaction. Those “winning” and “eliminated” students are in fact innocent, and later they did not get the opportunity to advance to school, history has played a trick on these innocent “fools”. In front of this absurd trial, they left behind three years of classmate friendship, lost their own minimum standards of right and wrong, and became each other to attack the fighter? Each other left a wounded knot that stretches even today, still haunted.
Since then, I had no choice but to say goodbye to my dream of going to school and embarked on another difficult and long road of discovery.
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