This is the story of one of my high school sisters, she is usually not familiar with the attitude of people very high cold, familiar with the very considerate. Her father was our local leader before he was born. Because the city is not big, the leaders of the lace news, we have heard, including her father’s “borrowing a child”.
After the death of her father, we had dinner together, she told me in detail for the first time about the family, I was also the first time to see her so vulnerable.
She said that her father, who suffered from “reproductive cancer”, was a bit pathetic, but also a bit hateful.
The following is the dictation of my sister.
1
“The word “reproductive cancer” refers to those who have a low level of education, economic conditions are not very good, but also to have a lot of children, especially those who must have a boy, the mouth of the unforgiving netizens, but also forget to add a sentence of teasing: “I guess the family has a throne to inherit.
But in my heart, there is another category of people suffering from “reproductive cancer”, that is, people with power, influence and money like my father – they really feel that their “throne” should be inherited by their sons.
In our small city where the sky is high and the emperor is far away, my father was the second in command when he was alive, he was in his position, not only to plan his politics, but also to “plan” a lot of things: so that I can enter the local best high school with the lowest score, study abroad, so that my family can get a developer’s gift, a quiet three-story villa, so that all the relatives have a comfortable job or even a key position …… fortunately, he died early, not directly into the later anti-corruption tide, considered to save their own reputation.
As a daughter, since childhood I have had a sense of self-consciousness: my father provided me with a privileged life, doting on me is true, but he wanted a son to pass on to the next generation is also true. So I knew that it was only a matter of time before my dad had a son.
The year my dad had a son, I was already in high school, in the midst of my rebellious phase, crazy about a boy, and not interested in anything else. Shortly before my “brother” was born, my dad told me privately that he had a mistress who was pregnant, in order to prepare me, and stressed, “It’s better to have a mistress than a strange woman, right?”
I understood that my life would not be affected by this, and simply replied, “Just don’t hurt my mom.”
One night, my dad answered the phone and hurried out the door. My mom sat in her bedroom in silence and didn’t sleep until the latter part of the night. When I got up to go to the bathroom and passed by my parents’ bedroom door, my mom sighed and said to me, “Yin Yin, your dad finally has a son.”
I only responded curtly, “Just don’t let him into the house.”
My mother replied in a daze: “Good ……”
I didn’t notice my mother’s haggardness, and I certainly didn’t hear the aggravation, anger and helplessness behind the word “good”. I wouldn’t have thought that as my father’s power grew, his desire to reproduce became so strong that it emboldened him to finally let two other women give birth to his son by way of “borrowing a child”.
And how can a husband have a son with someone else without hurting the woman who is his wife?
Even if all this, it seems to be in the hands of the wife.
2
My mother is a beautiful woman who takes good care of herself and is only in her early thirties today.
The actual fact is that you can find a lot of people who have been in the business for a long time. The two were in love freely when they were young, and I don’t know how many people were envious of the pairing of talent and beauty, and then I was born, and it looked like the family was even happier.
The first thing you need to do is to get a good idea of what you are getting into.
My father did not want to exploit the system, but also wanted to learn from other colleagues, so that my mother went out to “hide” after pregnancy, and then brought the child home after the birth, claiming to be “adopted”.
However, because of the hemorrhage during my birth, my mother was in shock and was determined not to have any more children. Since then, my dad and my mom have been fighting a long tug-of-war over the idea of having a son.
At first, my father always emphasized to my mother that he was the “most promising person of his generation” in the Zhang family, but because he didn’t have a son, when he went back to his hometown during the New Year’s holidays, people talked to him with a vague sense of ridicule: “Although we don’t need to pay attention to those relatives who have bad mouths, but if we have another baby, it will be just like Yin Yin, smart and smart. But if we have another baby, it will be just like Yin Yin, smart and well-behaved.”
After using me as a template to “please” my mother, my father went on to play the bitter card: “Before she died, my mother was talking about her grandson, saying that I was unfilial. Yesterday, she entrusted me with a dream and blamed me with her face!”
My mom was almost impressed by “as smart and well-behaved as Yin Yin”, but my dad’s next comment was straight to the point: he wanted a son, not just “our baby”.
So my mom asked him, “What if we have a baby girl?”
My father’s silence left my mother cold: he wanted another so-called “our baby” not because of love, but purely because of my gender. Perhaps love can move my mother to face her fears and conceive a child again in spite of her weakness, but the paranoia of “for the sake of the heirloom” cannot.
My father hesitated and said, “I’m not sure if it’s a good idea to have a baby, but we’ll figure it out. ……”
My mother gave a cold laugh.
The next step is for my father to change his strategy – to brainwash my mother at every moment, at every opportunity.
For example, when he and my mother went out to socialize and saw a little boy at the hotel, he would say, “That little boy is so well behaved, our son must be even better behaved.”
He would sigh in mock sadness as he talked high and low with classmates who visited him at home, saying, “I’ve been without a lesbian in this key position in my field for so many years.”
He would mention a relative, consciously or unconsciously, when talking to my mom before bedtime, “When he was sick, his son was running up and down the stairs, not unclothed, very filial.”
My dad’s intentional and unintentional chanting of these words made my mom feel distracted. The actual fact is that you can find a lot of people who are not able to get a good deal on this.
It was not until one day that my mom completely exploded.
That day, my father mentioned that he was a classmate in a leading position in the provinces, said: “This Chen XX, we did not expect, he actually has several women, he bragged to us about the baby son, not at all his wife was born! Poor his rural wife, what do not know.”
My mother heard what he meant and sneered, “Yes, if I were as stupid as she is and didn’t know anything, you could have had it with someone else – with Maimei, how about that?”
The woman my mother was talking about was my father’s former mistress, and “Maimei” was the nickname my father gave her. For years, my mother knew all about it, but she didn’t move. My father always thought that my mother was in the dark and did not know that he had a mistress outside – my mother told me that my father’s face when he heard the word “Maimei” that day was worse than eating flies.
The paper was broken, my father became angry and simply did not care, on the spot and my mother began to accuse each other, starting with the “birth of a son”, they almost angrily expressed to each other all their dissatisfaction from life to feelings since the marriage.
After that, they argued for a long time. My dad was so busy that it was hard to see my mom, but every time they met, they would argue.
When they got tired of arguing, they separated and screamed for a divorce.
3
However, in the end, they did not divorce because their weaknesses were too obvious.
The good news is that my mother is capable of helping my father, and the couple has a good relationship, although they are quarrelsome and angry about having a son, but not to the point of breaking the marriage.
The two of them, with their own trade-offs and each other’s handles, compromised for the benefit of each other, to put it bluntly.
The reason why my father’s career is so smooth, my mother has helped a lot, numerous people and interests of the occasion, also my mother to intervene in it, never a mistake. The reason for this is that it is a very good idea to have a good deal of time and money to spend.
The first thing you need to do is to get a good idea of what you’re doing.
During the arguments with my mom, my dad gradually realized that he and my mom had been too deeply involved for more than a decade, like the roots of two trees, tightly entwined and impossible to separate. If my mother divorces with resentment, he will be under her duress for the rest of his life – for an official of my father’s level, the stain of “cheating and divorce” and the potential of “original mate against corruption” are fatal.
The first thing you need to do is to get a good idea of what you want to do.
In the end, they agreed on the premise of “no divorce” and my mom agreed to my dad’s new plan of “having a son”, which is very complicated but the core is very straightforward: dad will have a son with another woman.
My mother was strongly opposed at the beginning, to resist, to finally accept, experienced the hardship and pain that I can not understand. The first thing you need to do is to get to know your father, the man who said he loved her and protected her, because he wanted a son, he was so persistent in persuading and pestering, he was able to tear his face off and show his most indifferent and vicious demeanor, which made her devastated. Her heart broke into pieces a little.
My mom pulled herself together from the humiliation and pain and turned back into the shrewd and capable woman she was. She agreed to my dad’s plan, but only if it didn’t affect everything about me even if he had a son with another woman – she was completely dead to my dad, and I was everything to her.
My mother put forward many conditions with my father, the most important of which are two: one, the child can only be adopted at my aunt’s home, and my aunt will “adopt”; two, all of my father’s property must pass through her hands.
“Your current position is too high-profile, suddenly adopt a child, it is too easy to attract attention.”
“There’s no problem with the procedure, it won’t be seen.” My dad was full of concern.
“Think about Wang XX in front of you, how secretive he was, but he was still sued? Of course there is no problem with the formalities, but the most important thing is that people’s eyes do not fall on you!”
My dad thought about it and thought it made sense and agreed.
“I’ll take all the family’s property, not to use it, you know I’m not that kind of person, I’m all for Yin Yin.” In order to prevent my dad from slowly transferring the family’s money to his “wild” son, my mom made the reason for taking control of the money look straightforward, and my dad had no reason to refuse.
4
The actual fact is that you can find a lot of people who are not able to get a lot of money from the internet.
“The woman has a maternal nature, if you see your child grow up a little, in case you regret it, it is not good for you.” My mother said so to my father – in fact, her real purpose is to prevent the woman from slowly eating away at our family and property with her son.
However, for my father, this is also the most “safe” for his career.
Of course, my mother also readily agreed to the only condition my father proposed – to give his son enough money to live on every month. The final figure they settled on was more than the income of an average family for a year at the time.
The reason my mother was so generous on this point was that the money was not much compared to my father’s “income” at the time, and also because it was the only condition my father made, and she had to show a generous gesture to increase my father’s guilt.
In this way, my mother, with her own cleverness, or calculation, cleverly used my father’s gratitude and guilt to firmly establish our mother and daughter’s position in the family and to hold my father’s property in her hands.
The actual fact is that you can find a woman who is suitable to give birth to his son: not ugly, but decent looking; between the ages of twenty-three and twenty-seven, the best foreigners; healthy, no genetic disease; able to accept a sum of money, never to appear again.
These conditions seem simple, but the initial screening took a lot of time. Every time there is a suitable candidate, my mother will also help “review”. The actual fact is that you can find a lot of people who are not able to get a good deal on a lot of things.
The more you have to do, the better your attitude is, the more you show your concern for my father, the more happy and guilty my father will be, and the better he will be for us.
The original spouse is not naturally virtuous and generous? My mother really went out of her way to preserve her family and property.
My dad had a baby on borrowed time, and my mom helped choose the woman
My parents chose and chose from the profiles, picking women who were not capable of “looking for trouble”, even women who could not read or afford a TV. Once they thought they could, the woman was brought into a specific room and my parents observed her through the blinds. From start to finish, they didn’t show up.
Finally, they screened out two women, both of whom had the word “honest” in my mom’s evaluation. One is a family accident, the urgent need for money, the other is to earn money for the brother’s wedding. Both women are from neighboring counties, the former is very urgent and wants to get two-thirds of the money in advance, but she also repeatedly said that she will be very honest and will definitely follow the contract; the latter’s brother is a disabled person, also wants to pass on the money, but the family is short of money. My father had checked with someone and the situation was true.
This is a huge amount of money, the child as a commodity exchange of interests, my mother and my father is most worried about the other party is insatiable, bringing subsequent trouble. The two women did not know the true identity of my parents, only that there was a pair of “businessmen who could not give birth to a child”.
The actual fact is that you can find a lot of people who are not able to get a good deal on a lot of things.
Since the signing of the contract, the two women have been taken care of diet and living, the nutrition needed for pregnancy is naturally not less, once a month check-ups are also essential. They traded their bellies, so they had to eat what they needed to eat and do some exercise on time to ensure the healthy growth of their children.
When my mom was making arrangements for their pregnancy, she always remembered that she had a hemorrhage when she gave birth to me. She still sometimes laments the fact that if she had given birth to the child, she would not have wanted to give it to someone else without seeing it, and it would have been goodbye forever.
My mom said it wasn’t her fault, it was all my dad’s fault.
5
A year later, my aunt’s family suddenly had two more “adopted” boys, one named Pengpeng and one named Sisi.
I was a little curious about my two brothers, but from the time they were born to the age of ten, we met only a handful of times – mainly because I had very little time at home, and soon after they were born, I went to university in Shanghai, then to graduate school in Beijing, and finally applied for a master’s degree in the United States. After I returned home, I stayed in Shanghai. During my undergraduate years, I went home twice a year, and even once a year during my master’s degree, and after I worked, I was so busy with business that I didn’t go back for the Chinese New Year one year.
My mother usually does not and aunt’s family, only in the New Year, for the sake of love, only together in the restaurant to eat a meal. The atmosphere is always a bit stagnant, and everyone has a tacit understanding that the meal will be over in a hurry.
There was a New Year’s Eve when they followed their aunt to have a reunion dinner. Two young boys, both with double eyelids and dark skin, at first glance look a bit alike. They are the closest to their aunt, when she goes to the bathroom, they all twist to go together; when eating, they also need to be coaxed by her before they will eat. However, my father should usually go to see them, they are quite happy to see my father, Pengpeng even hugged my father and kissed.
At that time, the two chubby children were not very recognizable, and they were happy to see anyone, including me. I have a big heart, once, I wanted to hug Sisi to tease him, but then I turned my eyes and saw my mother sitting straight there, makeup decent face, cold as ice. I hurriedly left my two brothers behind and went to my mom’s side, deliberately telling jokes to make her happy.
By the time I returned home from the United States, my two younger brothers were already in elementary school. That time I brought gifts to the family, especially to my aunt and Pengpeng and Siji. I guess my aunt had already said something to them about their origins, and they were cold to me, without the excitement that children feel when they see toys.
I still smiled decently, exchanged pleasantries with my aunt, and said goodbye decently to go home. However, since then, I have never bought anything for my two brothers. For them, I am not guilty of counting, nor do I need any pleasing.
I can almost completely ignore their existence, but my mom can’t completely disassociate herself from them. The two children are quite capable of tossing and turning, and their qualification is “XX leader’s children”.
The “XX leader’s children” is a tried and true pass, but my aunt can not prove its authenticity completely, only my mother, the “real lady” can. My mother does not have to do or even say anything, just go to the school office with my aunt, my aunt will ramble to the teachers: this is the XX leader’s children, they are going to study abroad in the future, the family has prepared their expenses abroad; they live in a villa of several hundred square meters, the nanny room is 30 square feet; the family not only has XX leader in so-and-so bureau work, there are XX relatives in XX Institute ……
My mother is sitting on the sidelines, her face maintained as a leading lady of the kind – trying to be approachable but can not hide the arrogance of the look. She knew that what my aunt said was either an exaggeration of the facts countless times or her own fantasy. My mother deeply despised and mocked my aunt in her heart, but she couldn’t possibly break her down because in a way, my aunt was telling it to her.
My mother said that my aunt displayed a certain quality in her bragging, the same kind that pushed my father to have to have a son.
My mother is a good-looking woman, she knows, in my aunt this kind of head but not butt operation, the whole city knows the family scandal, she can only with great dissatisfaction, endure the sneering eyes of others.
Pengpeng’s grades were bad and his conduct was poor, and he was often asked by his teachers to be a parent. Usually my aunt goes, and occasionally my mother needs to go. My mom hates Pengpeng’s hostile expression, but she’ll go to the one that’s there, never letting my aunt get away with it. The classroom teacher politely told my mother that children need more parental attention and education, and my mother maintained her condescending and cold attitude and responded.
My mom was able to put up with all of this for the sake of marriage and the family fortune. I have been away for so long that I don’t really know how my parents’ feelings have changed after these two kids came along. Anyway, my dad was always so busy, his presence at home was so infrequent, and his communication with my mom was so infrequent, that she couldn’t feel the change in his emotions.
But my mother’s concern about the “family fortune”, surprisingly soon fell into her hands.
Because my father died.
6
My dad died of cancer, which was so aggressive that it was already advanced when it was discovered, and he died in less than three months.
When I heard the news of my dad’s hospitalization, I rushed back from Shanghai to take care of him. He looked old and thin, although he was actually in his prime.
My dad took advantage of my mom’s absence to tell me, “Yin Yin, dad is gone, take care of Pengpeng and Si Si.”
I wasn’t too surprised when he said this, I just noticed that he made a point of holding my hand as he spoke – he and I hadn’t been close since we were kids, he was busy, and he and I hadn’t had any close physical interaction for too long. I could feel his deliberate closeness, and I could feel him unconsciously using the last of his strength. At that moment I seemed to feel many of his emotions, including the fear, remorse and worry of someone who is about to die.
He was good to me, no comment, and never stingy with my spending money, so it seemed appropriate for me to return the favor: “Okay, I get it.”
It didn’t seem like a big sin that he liked his son and wanted him, but it hurt my mom and certainly changed his image in my mind.
He nodded slightly, as if relieved, “They’re both your real brothers.”
After we talked, my dad told me something he thought I didn’t know yet: he was looking for two women at once to “make sure” he would have a son. It was written in the contract that if a girl was conceived, she would be aborted and paid a compensation fee. In the end, both women gave birth to sons, and my dad took them all.
My dad must have been overjoyed to have two sons at once!
I only know that since then, my mother has fallen into the pain of silence and patience for years, she has a stronger desire for my father’s property, except in cases of necessity, she is indifferent to the two “wild children” can not be indifferent. For her, indifference may be the last weapon to maintain the dignity of the “original”.
My dad couldn’t eat, he would pass bloody stools numerous times a day, and he was screaming in pain. My mother took care of him in the hospital room, waited for him to defecate, helped him clean, said very little, her face was expressionless, her movements were not gentle, sometimes even like cleaning a bowl or a cup, I do not know what was in their minds.
I don’t know if my dad begged my mom to treat those two kids well before he died, but I guess he did.
But the truth is, after my dad died, my mom became even more indifferent to them, and could even be described as ruthless. This ruthlessness is tinged with revenge. When my dad was still alive, he would give my aunt a very substantial amount of money every month, for Pengpeng and Sisi’s food, clothing and housing, is certainly more than enough, the remaining surplus, is my aunt’s. For years, my aunt raised my two brothers well because they were cash cows.
I always remember when my aunt came to see my dad in the hospital, full of anxiety and questions.
I was watching my mom feed my dad at the time. My mom seemed very patient (or maybe she was doing it in front of me), my dad couldn’t eat, so she fed him in small bites and sips, taking her time, while asking how my boyfriend was doing. She was not so eager to rush the marriage, probably knowing that my father’s days are numbered and not wanting me to leave her too. I thought so, and spoke to her more nicely.
At this time, my aunt suddenly walked in, carrying a fruit basket, and said at the door, “Ah Lin, why are you suddenly so sick?”
In retrospect, this statement is somewhat interesting.
In the past, my mother would have made a face. But that day my mom was extraordinarily good-tempered, she gave up her seat next to my dad and sat next to me. My aunt then sat over and said, “They want to come see you.”
My dad looked at me and then said, “Forget it, it’s not good for them to see me like this.”
My aunt said again, “Then later ……”
My dad said, “It’s hard on your sister.”
Then my dad stopped talking, and my aunt stopped talking. My mom and I sat and didn’t say anything. After a while, my aunt stood up and went out three steps back. Later, I saw her again at my father’s funeral – but Pengpeng and Sisi did not come.
I wasn’t too sad about my dad’s death. I helped my mom with the funeral and stayed with her for another half month.
Before returning to Shanghai, I asked her, “Are you going to Shanghai?”
My mom said, “I’m not going, I’ll stay here, I’ll be more comfortable.”
7
To be precise, I never saw my two brothers again. When my dad died, he probably didn’t leave any money to his aunt. He may have thought about leaving it, but his heart was in the right place, and he was in a hospital bed at the time, he no longer had any freedom to dispose of the family’s money and belongings.
After my dad left, Pengpeng and Sisi’s living situation took a sharp turn for the worse – all of which my mom told me about. When she calls me, she occasionally mentions them, but in a different tone than before with resentment, more relaxed and disdainful.
When my dad was around, because the living expenses were sufficient, my aunt was also very generous to my two younger brothers and answered all requests. The company’s main business is to provide a wide range of products and services to the public.
It is said that Sisi is the “god of boys” at school, his family is well-off, he also has good grades, and he is outgoing, often inviting his classmates to go out and have dinner; while Pengpeng, despite his poor grades, is also popular with his classmates – the private middle school is near his aunt’s house, and because he lives at school, every week his aunt buys several large bags of snacks and sends them to Pengpeng, who always knocks on the doors of his classmates’ dormitories one by one and shares the food with them.
They won the welcome of their classmates, and although the welcome was bought with money, it was real.
After running out of living expenses, my aunt transferred Pengpeng from a private high school to a suburban high school. Then Pengpeng’s grades got worse and worse, and he didn’t know where to go to high school. As for Sisi, because of the good results, was guaranteed to direct high school, tuition fees and concessions, but the food and clothing costs are pathetic.
To be honest, for a teenager, life suddenly experienced such a big difference, there is no big psychological problems, it is already very good.
I sometimes took pity on my two brothers, but I didn’t care about them either.
I never advised my mother to have some compassion for them, after all, they are my mother’s heart knot for so many years, which woman can peacefully accept her husband’s two illegitimate children?
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