Hard to Breathe soon made an appointment with someone. He sent only one question to the Group: “Who is in Sichuan? Have you died together these days?” At once someone jumped out and answered, “Yes.” The two hurried to make plans, not even knowing each other’s names.
Group manager’s “end” was momentarily tense. He also jumped out and told the group the story of his suicide attempt. He wanted to tell them from his own experience that death is a painful thing that many people will reconsider after hearing it. This is the daily life of the terminus group.
Two years ago, The group was set up with a purpose as weighty as its name: “To find someone to die with.” It has joined about 300 “about the dead”, with one entering every two days on average to look for the dead companion. It’s not an isolated case.
On April 23, four people died after burning charcoal in a dormitory in Liantang town, Nanchang city, Jiangsu province. The victims, ranging in age from 17 to 34, traveled from Shandong, Zhejiang and Hunan provinces to commit suicide online, police said. As long as in the post bar, QQ search keywords will find, similar suicide groups meet a large number, although blocked by all kinds of technical means, will still appear after a makeover.
An uneasy death
He was 21 when He decided to commit suicide. At that time, he lived in a dying mood, feeling that no one could understand him. Until he found these suicide groups on the Internet, he did not realize that he was not alone. It was 2015, before the official crackdown, and QQ groups known as “About dying” were more common than they are now. “The end” watched different people in the group calmly discuss various ways to die, the final result is often: charcoal burning pain is the least, the highest success rate.
Very soon, oneself create “qu Terminren Scattered” after group, “terminal road” found a companion in the group, it is a girl, head is a black rose. “Rose” told him she was 2,500 kilometers away in Yunnan. In the group, the two chatted for only three sentences. “When was the first sentence, and where was the second? It was so far away that it was difficult for me to get a ticket to Yunnan, so I had to look for different places.” “The last line,” he recalls, “was that we wished each other success.” The death plan is settled. The end feels “inspired” by the rose. After buying good charcoal and discussing the details, he actually felt a little excited and excited.
The night of the suicide was set for Christmas Eve, December 24, 2015. He and “Rose” both felt that the ideal state is the sky under the heavy snow, after they died together, the snow buried them, as if no one had come to this world. “The end” said. In reality, however, the “last resort” can only choose the bathroom in its rented room — according to the online guide, the bathroom is smaller, and death is quicker. After three glasses of white wine, he sealed the door. It was an old wooden door, at the time of tape to the crack of the door, wooden door of the barb pierced into the “end” nails, originally the person is in a state of numbness, and drank the wine, groggy, but were tied to the blood flow out of the wood, “end” heart thumped, think oneself originally can still feel the pain. During the 10 minutes he spent trying to set the charcoal on fire, tears came to his eyes.
The burning of the charcoal produced a huge smoke, like the scene of a fire, choking people, even after drinking alcohol, can not sleep. The End felt cheated — the moment of death was not as calm and serene as the group had portrayed it, but rather fierce and violent, like a beast tearing at its prey. After half an hour, he decided to open the door and let out a cigarette. He tore off the adhesive tape, and as soon as he climbed out of the door, he fainted. The landlord who came to deliver the key happened to see him and called an ambulance.
This was two years ago, but now it is at the end of the road, followed by headache and fear of smoke sequela.
After dying once, the end asks itself, “Even if I know there are many ways to die, the question is, do I have to die?” It came to him that death was not an imminent thing, and that there were other things to think about in life besides death.
The shadow of depression
For years, The end lived in the shadow of depression. He calls depression “it.”
Before he decided to die with Rose, he once wrote about his fear of it in QQ space: “It still came, it came without any warning… It took root in my heart, let me forget a lot of things, happy, happy… At this point it has been indestructible, I can no longer shackle it… This is the end of the world…”
He was the third child in the family. As a child, his parents worked outside all the year round to take care of his grandfather, who was not able to move his legs and feet. In fact, most of the people who died in the suicide group had been diagnosed with depression or reported being depressed. Like the “end”, most of them come from families that have been unhappy or have been in trouble themselves.
On April 27, another suicide group named “Escape” met a person named “Mo Xiangyi”. The first sentence was: “Does anyone in the group like to play with blood?” “Mo Dependent” sent his “play blood” photo. She cut her fingers and wrists and spilled blood on the white A4 paper like a red flower blooming on the snow. She tried to kill herself by taking sleeping pills, but was saved by gastric lavage. “The medicine bought online is so unreliable.” She had just turned 14, was an adolescent and had been suffering from depression for three years. She had been looking for ways to kill herself online, but was either in pain or unstable. Now she has put suicide on the back burner because she has found something that is fun for her: “playing with blood.” “Mo Dependent” was born in a single-parent family. Her mother was very strict with her and often scolded her. She felt very hard, but as long as she saw the blood flowing, she felt very comforted.
Another hobby of Mo Yiyi is painting. Her favorite colors are red and black. She showed her latest painting in the group, a black lotus flower. Some people in the group advised her that since there is something she likes, she should stick to doing it first and don’t think about dying. She momentarily agreed. It went offline pretty quickly.
Wang Yanan, a certified psychological counsellor with the British Association of Counsellors, also noted the phenomenon of suicide pact: “People with depression are the majority of these people. They are at high risk of suicide and often the factor that overwhelms them is not a single factor. It is caused by the ‘cognitive triangle of depression’.” Depressed people process information through a “cognitive triangle of depression,” where they feel bad about themselves, the world and the future. All of these results can reduce patients’ sense of self-worth and make them feel hopeless about the future, leading to a desire to die.
The desire to be magnified
This desire is soon magnified when groups are gathered. In a 48-person group called “Born to Be I’m Sorry,” about 10 people are active every night, and they often post pictures of their wrists being cut together. On the night of April 26, one man had five cuts and the other had only two. Minutes later, the man with the two cuts had three stitches. “Then we’ll be the same,” he told the group.
HIZT, in the Escape group, was originally a member with a less strong death wish. His family was poor, suffering from tuberculosis, and owed 150,000 yuan in bank debts. He wanted to die, so he joined the suicide group. In the group of a chat, he found that all the people are dying, an impulse, soon and people about, the other side in a hurry to end their lives in these two days, but “HIZT” had intended to die at the end of May. Returning to reality from the group, “HIZT” again reminds me of the money to build a house for the parents of the hometown of the desire has not been realized, so more or less unwilling to die, put the idea of dying on hold. During May Day this year, his parents learned of his situation, not only did not blame him, but also asked relatives to help him raise money. He felt he owed his parents so much that he decided to get a job and try again.
The ideal, he thought, would be for the sky to fall heavily, and when they died, the snow would bury them, as if no one had ever been in the world. The ideal, he thought, would be for the sky to fall heavily, and when they died, the snow would bury them, as if no one had ever been in the world.
“Death and life, often in a moment.” Wang Yanan said, “The Internet is a relatively open and diverse form, the existence of suicide groups, there must be a reason for its emergence. Those who commit suicide have one thing in common: a lack of family dependence and great social frustration. The existence of such a suicide group is easy to produce emotional infection to the frustrated. But everyone has a fear of death, too.” His strategy for counseling is to bring suicidal depressed people together for group therapy, but to guide them in ways that give them a reason to live.
HIZT feels this more deeply. “When you start talking to people about it, it’s often hard to turn back. Even if you’re suddenly willing to back off, seeing the other person persevere strengthens that resolve.”
“In online suicide groups, due to the lack of positive guidance, people’s communication will be full of hopelessness and the desire to die. In such an atmosphere, fear of death is often overcome.” Wang Yanan said.
Researchers from the University of Ottawa and other institutions studied data on more than 22,000 young people aged 12 to 17 and found that the risk of suicidal thoughts or actions increased more than four-fold after learning about the incident, regardless of who had committed suicide. This means that the academic hypothesis of “suicidal emotional contagion” is valid.
“Think it over.”
The “end of the road” group is still pouring in, with at most five or six new people joining every night. Most of the people who came in came straight to the point: “Want to die, is there anyone with you?” Others will inquire about the specific method of suicide. As for the reason of wanting to die, I will not talk about it. At such times, the group manager “end of the road” would step forward and tell the new comer the story of his not dying, adding, “you’ll have to think about it.”
Later, he issued a notice to the group, hoping to dissuade its members from committing suicide. The bottom line is that people who are particularly suicidal don’t want to be in a group. Most of the people gathered there were hesitating, hoping to find company. He felt that with a little persuasion there was hope.
As the number of people grew, he gradually found that others with other goals were also mixed in with the suicide group.
Some men point to female companions, saying they can “indulge” before they die; There are also people to sneak in, want to commit suicide with the money away, in addition to Alipay, even QQ such a virtual account password to cheat. Those who hesitated, or who had thoughts of their own, were invited out of the crowd by the “end”. “If the person who wanted to die meets a cheater in such a desperate moment, or if someone gives him a malicious push, he may really die; But if someone pulls up, maybe they’ll be alive.”
But “the end” feel, this is only temporary, want to die the root cause has not been solved, it will change the outcome.
On April 28, “Terminal Road” found that his “Qu Terminren Scattered” group was reported. “This day will come sooner or later.” The End breathed a sigh of relief. The head of “Rose” in the group never lit up, but “The end” has decided to live well.
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