Since I was a kid, I always felt that my dad had a magical ability to always have a good relationship with my teachers and thus master my every class nonsense and exam failure. Every time I came home and tried to hide the fact that I had failed a test, he had smiled and told me to “tell the truth”, which was the direct black hand of my teenage psychological shadow. Even until this morning, I went out to work before he was happy to tell me that my junior high school homeroom teacher passed photos of his own dumplings in his circle of friends.
The first thing you need to do is to get a good idea of what you are getting into. It’s not that I didn’t like to write application problems, but the teacher in elementary school had very strict rules, set and answer to copy the last sentence of the question once, it only took 2 minutes to do the problem, but it took a long time to write the two sentences. Every Thursday at noon in the school to do a set of questions, there is another set of questions home to do. At that time, I was still learning painting on Fuzhou Road and math at Wenmiao on double holidays, and I was living a very unhappy life. Finally in a small friends are playing and I have to do the problem alone at home in the afternoon the heart resentment exploded, secretly tore the topic paper two down, and then shredded flushed into the toilet.
When my dad came home in the afternoon, I was happily watching TV, and my dad asked me with a smile on his face, “Did you finish your homework today?”
I said with a look of innocence, “Yes!” And then continued to watch TV.
“But can you tell me why there are only 3 sheets of paper for this assignment?” He took out the math homework from my book bag.
I continued to pretend to be natural and said, “Because the teacher assigned less this time.”
“And after the first page, why is it the fifth page?”
“。。。。。。”
This ended with me getting beaten up.
When I got to high school, I once got upset with my classmates. I didn’t tell my parents when I got home. I always felt that I had a strong sense of self and could handle everything on my own. Being misunderstood, being talked about, and talking about others, and trying to fight back. I texted my friends in the middle of the night before going to bed to spit, and sometimes I felt aggrieved and cried under the covers until I fell asleep. Then one morning, my father sent me to school, and did not say anything, it is very light to say: “If you did not do anything wrong, then there is nothing to fear.”
After going to college, he did not know my current situation as well as he did before. Perhaps there is no more “inside line” it. Every time he called me, I always said I was busy, and then hung up in a hurry. I think about that time, busy with student government, busy with love, busy with fun and food and drink. I was home once a week and started playing on the computer after dinner, and he always scolded me in the living room at the top of his lungs: “Play again, then play your eyes are blind!” I ignore him, or return his sentence: “Do not bother me.” And then shut the door behind me.
A few summers ago, K. and I broke up. In retrospect, there was no big drama at the time, as far as the eye can see it was just a common thing that everyone goes through. But really at that time a few years ago, the heart will still feel very sad. Shortly after the breakup, friends came to my house for dinner and drinks, joking to relieve boredom. A meal until midnight to end, my father to send the fundies out, I stood at the door and heard him say to them: “You comfort comfort her.”
When he got home, he and I had a big fight over the words, and instead of him and me arguing, I was pointing fingers while he was listening. My dad is not a very composed person, so we often jokingly fight. A few years ago, my need for self-esteem was far more insistent than it is now, and I thought about not being humiliated in everything I did, even breakups. Perhaps at that time in my mind, the parents intervene in the children’s love life, is really a thing that makes me lose face.
Not long ago and K, talking about the time, we can not help but feel that regardless of the decision to be together, or the reason for separation, is a very ridiculous thing. I was not fit to be lovers with him except as friends. As I talk, I inevitably think about that meal and understand why my dad didn’t refute my fallacious argument about saving face that time. He stood there, not saying anything, perhaps just because he could not do anything about it.
Later on, there were more such powerless moments. I was no longer a child, none of us were. When we are unhappy, we can no longer be coaxed by a piece of chocolate, and when we cry, we can’t stop the tears by saying “Daddy’s here”. I have my dreams and plans, and his plans for me are the opposite, experienced numerous arguments, have too many complaints, but forgot to understand. We and our fathers, after all, have to go their own way in life, we say we are not afraid to fall down and get hurt, but they do not want to see us go to tears and blood.
Sometimes when I think about it, my dad and I are very much alike, we don’t comfort people, we have a strange laughing point, obviously at the beginning of the argument, but in the end we can’t help but laugh. He is very good at coaxing, and will stop being angry when you tell him you are sorry. The actual fact is that you can find a lot of people who are not able to get a good deal on a lot of things. The United Nations said that the tears and sweat you shed now are the water that went into your head when you were picking your wife.” . Sometimes he will say some things wrong also do not admit, I said you how so stupid la, he said bluntly: “so born you are not smart”.
The other day the girl was not in a good mood, I talked to her, she said just now her father sent her a text message, she just said a few words, her father asked her: “Nui Nui you are not happy ah? The girl said she was crying and told me: “But I didn’t tell him I was upset.
But Daddy knows.
People who love you, know everything.
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