There is a common saying: eating someone’s mouth is short. The meaning of this is very clear, but only this meaning that is simply not meaningful, I mean to say that the shame suffered by eating a carrot even with an old ginseng is difficult to clean.
A friend invited me to dinner, a plate of shredded carrots, a plate of vermicelli, and a plate of meat like rubber is difficult to chew. After eating, my heart was touched, and I thought to myself that I should repay the kindness of a drop of water, and eat a bowl of people to repay a pot.
A few days later, a group of friends gathered, I for what a sentence to this friend who had once invited me to dinner offended.
He gnashed his teeth and said: “Your conscience is eaten by dogs? A few days ago, I went to Shangri-La Hotel to buy California veal sauce, to the Great Wall Hotel to buy Spanish carrots, to the Friendship Store with foreign exchange coupons to buy the Baltic Sea caviar for foreigners, as well as France smuggled in high grade cream, eat your kid full of oil, but you forget in a flash. You haven’t finished digesting the veal yet, have you? “
I felt cold and regretful. I wanted to seal my mouth with tape. You ate coal lumps back then, but still live? You go to eat people’s shredded carrots and vermicelli for what?
You really want to buy a sack of carrots to eat yourself into a rabbit does not cost much money, but you eat people’s things, you have to listen to others, you have to bear the insults imposed on you.
The biggest problem with me is that I have no memory, like a dog, remembering food and not remembering to fight. I was so angry that I gnashed my teeth in hatred, but I forgot about it after a few days. Another friend invited me to dinner, on a briquette stove, the stove put a pot, the pot put a dozen shrimp, a pile of cabbage, and some what meat.
Eating and eating my fierce face and revealed, the friend said: “Look at Mo Yan, the food on the table, and defiantly! ” (Too much, even if it is true, should not say it.)
As the saying goes, a good word is warm in three winters, a bad word is cold in June, a word to my heart completely cold, I ate, while eating because of the shame suffered by eating people’s things one piece after another came to mind.
How can I be so lowly? How can I be so unproductive? If you really want to eat, just go to a restaurant alone? You can eat as much as you want! You can eat as viciously as you want. You eat all the meat and lick the plate, and no one laughs at you.
You often forget your own identity, you forget that you are a country bumpkin, people who fundamentally despise you, do not see you as a person.
People sometimes look for you to play, that is bored, that is the swan to the water duck to show intimacy, if the water duck even so and want to get into the wrong, then the water duck is miserable.
After understanding the reasoning, I vowed to starve to death rather than eat other people’s food, just like Zhu Ziqing would rather starve to death than eat American flour. I also vowed to eat with others as a last resort, must be defiant to pay first, I pay the bill, so even if I eat a little more people will not laugh at me, right?
Another time I went to eat roast duck, and I settled the bill when I was halfway through. After a few noble people had filled their noble stomachs very elegantly, there was still a lot left on the table, and that’s when the peasant’s lowly mentality kicked in again in my mind.
What a pity, these onions, this big sauce, these white pancakes, these crispy duck slices, all good things, waste not only a pity, but also the wrath of God. So I ate. At this point, someone said: “Look at Mo Yan, must eat back his money. “
I felt a hot face, as if I had received a loud slap. People also said, “How do you think he can eat so much? Why can he eat so much? If all Chinese people could eat as much as he did, China would have been eaten by him in the old society. “
As I ate, I realized with sadness that the world had actually been arranged for a long time. The life of the humiliated, to you put on a crown can not escape.
When I went home to visit my family in the Spring Festival the year before last, I told my mother all the grievances I had suffered in Beijing over the years, one by one. My mother said, “I don’t believe it, people live a breath, and then go to a banquet, before the line to drink two large bowls of thin rice, and then eat two large steamed buns, on the banquet, can still make that look like a starving ghost? “
When I returned to Beijing, I followed my mother’s teaching, and when I went to the banquet, I was really not in a hurry. I ate like a cook in the British royal family. I waited for everyone’s praise, but one person said, “Look at Mo Yan’s pretentious energy, as if he could eat like Jia Baoyu by using only his incisors. “
The crowd laughed and their appetite increased. One person said: “People, it is better to be natural, Lin Daiyu also want to sit on the toilet. “
“Mother ah, there is simply no way to live ah ……”
Mother said: “Son ah, resign yourself to fate. What should be in your life, you have to bear what. “
I asked: “Mother, we have a family, why I alone for eating suffered a lot of shame? “
Mother said, “Son, what are you doing? In 1960, I was caught stealing horse feed from the production team and was hung up and beaten. At that time, I thought that I would just hit my head and die when I was released. But when she was released, she crawled back home.
Your grandmother went to the West Village to beg for food, to the leprosy home, saw a half bowl of leftover noodles on the square table in the hall, your grandmother saw no one, jumped up and eat with their hands digging. Leprosy patients eat leftover noodles, dirty or not?
What’s the big deal if you suffer this? I can see that you are getting fatter day by day. How can you get fat if you don’t enjoy the blessings? My son, you are enjoying the blessings, don’t be unaware of the blessings in your life! “
I thought carefully about my mother’s words and gradually calmed down. Yes, the so-called self-esteem, face, are all things after eating, for a person who is dying of hunger, a bowl of leper leftover noodles, is the most valuable thing in the world.
Of course, there is also Mr. Zhu Ziqing who would rather starve to death than eat American relief food, but he is a “great man”, such as me, like a pig and dog, is never to use self-respect, reputation and such bullshit to justify. The reputation of these bullshit things to make things difficult for themselves.