Mr. Bai stressed the importance of cherishing the opportunity to practice the real questions, otherwise you will panic when you go to the battlefield. He said that the provincial exam is more difficult than the college entrance exam, the vast majority in the college entrance exam can not be tested, but the civil service exam are college students and you compete, I will be more honestly draw focus. The time is almost 11 o’clock, the teacher has not a little to leave the class, I have anxiously canceled several drops.
“That’s all for today. “Finally class was about to end, so I grabbed my book bag and grabbed the door. After 4 hours of having my head bombarded, I was finally able to go home and have a lie down. The evening breeze hit me as I walked out of the hotel building, and a few of my classmates came out one after another with tired faces, and we said goodbye to each other.
“Where else can I go?”
Last year, my mother was sick, the family urged to marry, I returned to Shanxi from Shenzhen. After taking care of my mother at home for a month or so, I came to Shuozhou, a prefecture-level city in northern Shanxi, which is also my boyfriend’s city, I have been reluctant to stay in my hometown, after the Shenzhen boss also came to the news, you can go back to work at any time, but I beat the drum, almost thirty, see no hope of buying a house in Shenzhen, not home, not married, where else can I go? I convinced myself to join the workforce and integrate into the social circle of my hometown.
For the first three months, I worked as a planner in a health care company, working from 8 to 6 every day, six days a week, with a monthly salary of 4,000 yuan. I soon felt uncomfortable, here heavy relationship, heavy social, I have to take a good measure, otherwise it will be talked about. Everyone was married and the conversation was about parents, and I looked different.
Salary and all kinds of deductions, less than 3,500 yuan, which is less than a third of the salary in Shenzhen, greatly damaged my self-esteem. Once a heavy snowfall, I slid the car late and was fined, I felt aggrieved and left my job, home to do online work. The family is not at ease, I think I have to have a serious job, especially the male family are in the system, they told me into the system, and then do what you want to do, and also I cited Liu Cixin is in the Maiden Pass power plant to write “three bodies”, or a year or two later, married with children, who will pay for your pregnancy?
Without any further ado, my boyfriend took me to sign up in a civil service training institution.
This institution is located in the tallest office building in Shuozhou City and has a very grand appearance. As soon as I got out of the elevator, I saw red slogans all over the place, “Fight for a year, be happy for a lifetime,” and big, dense forms posted all over the building, listing the titles of teachers, military The time of the examination of the civil service, special post training, etc.
The boyfriend is not demanding, pointing to the table and saying I can just get on one.
The company’s main goal is to provide the best possible service to its customers. “I think it is the sky price, pull him and go outside. Instead, he gave me the math, 40,000 yuan to buy a lifetime guarantee or a good deal, begged me to try anyway, and praised me for being smart, maybe I could get a high school in one fell swoop, a stable job might give him a sense of security, I agreed to his request.
I went to ask the sales girl if there was a cheaper course, the girl looked embarrassed, flipped through the product list, frowned and said: “Yes, there is, 25,800, 58 days, but all in the evening. “I pressed her, who are the evening classes for.
“Middle-aged people, middle-aged people who have gone to work. “She replied.
“The pace is just too slow.”
“You get to do what you like during the day and learn something before bedtime! “Encouraged by my boyfriend, I signed up. I reassured myself that it would only be two or three months, and if I couldn’t take the exam, the money would be returned, and the knowledge I learned was my own, which was a bargain not to be taken.
On January 1, 2020, I joined this older class, the place of instruction in a fast hotel 6 km from my home, I thought training in the hotel is everyone sitting on the bed watching TV.
I went in and realized that everything was emptied and the entire second floor was rented out for classrooms. Each room was 10 square meters, with five or six tables, a projector and a whiteboard inside. Inside, there were four or five students sitting there, except for a girl about the same age as me, others were more mature, and one older brother was already balding, indeed, as the sales girl said, “middle-aged class The class is indeed “middle-aged” as the sales girl said.
A classroom teacher called me, issued a thick 10 textbooks, I asked: “civil service is not only two exams? “”There are many topics here! There is one book for each topic! “The dense text, the pressure of my two hands to lift up. After graduating from college, many students around the preparation, I went to Shenzhen alone, income than the system in the hometown of classmates to be better. When the party, see some students strapped, I always generously pay the bill, just like a “mixed can” big sister.
I didn’t want to mention this to anyone, and silently held my books to find a corner position.
The first section is about integer and division, similar to the tricky calculations in elementary school math class, I haven’t heard what he said for years, and the problem was solved.
The first part of the lesson was about integers and divisors, similar to primary school mathematics. The teacher didn’t care whether we understood or not, he kept rushing backwards and forwards, saying that you are too slow in 2 months, the progress is too slow. His speed and demeanor took me back to high school, and the fear and anxiety of math resurfaced, and I had a sweaty palm before the class was over. After half an hour, I couldn’t understand what he was saying, so my eyes wandered around.
Suddenly, I noticed that the older sister in front of me had the word “filial piety” on her right arm, which indicates the recent death of a relative in Shanxi. She looked serious and earnest, following the teacher’s gestures, and kept writing and calculating. Three hours later, the first class was over, and a thick book had been turned over a third. I completely give up the idea that I can still learn knowledge, training at this age is really asking for trouble.
Age, we have experienced the many storms of life, but the learning power is not like before, just after work to class people do not dare to relax, and rarely interact with the teacher, the class is dead, the teacher said the content can not understand and do not dare to ask again, afraid of people dislike their own age this thing can not learn: do the problem reported wrong, from top to bottom a red.
I simply want to make some friends and forget about it, after the idea is set, I relaxed a lot. My boyfriend is waiting for me downstairs, he asked what he learned today, I panicked and said, math.
“You don’t understand the system is good now.”
It wasn’t until the third day that our class came together, 12 in all, and the classroom teacher pulled a group, at which point I noticed a couple with wedding rings sitting diagonally across from me.
Except for a 15-minute break between classes, we barely interacted with each other. And they were severely late, always delaying their 6:30 night school class until 7:00, and missing class every other day, and their plans to make friends were shattered.
Every night in class, besides turning pens and playing with cell phones, they just stared. I spent most of the day doing problems and got half of the answers wrong, so I cowered in the corner in frustration and regret.
After a week, I finally finished my math class. I only got 50 points on the quiz, but I was satisfied, thinking about the formulas in middle school was a headache. I waited for the logic class, the time was not so hard and I was more excited about the class. I went to the bathroom with my female classmates in between classes and established a connection with each other, so I could see a little hope for the dim road to the public exam.
The sister in my front row is called Wei Hong, 31 years old, has a 5-year-old child, and she works in a local company that is about to go public. My boyfriend said that it was a popular local enterprise, the recruitment requirements are very strict, especially this 2012 posture is very high.
Sister Wei Hong’s liberal arts can not, learning always can not keep up. I asked her why she wanted to take the civil service exam, she waved her hand, “no double time off, endless overtime, work tension. “Her company has insurance, but to pay their own provident fund, monthly mortgage pressure, dry five or six years, the salary is still five thousand, when the maternity leave without a penny of subsidy, back to three hundred more per month. She learned that her classmates in Taiyuan, got into the civil service, a test on marriage plus maternity leave, enjoy a lot of benefits, her salary and classmates almost, but classmates couples provident fund against the mortgage only need to pay more than 200 yuan per month, classmates drive more than 300,000 cars, but they can only enroll their daughter in an extracurricular interest classes.
A few months ago, her father died of illness, spent a lot of money but also did not cure, she even took only three days of funeral leave, she said she saw through the capitalist face of private companies. She admonished me in a serious way “you do not understand the system is good. Especially women, there is not a stable job really can not. “
I tried to comfort the pain of the loss of a loved one, but to my surprise, she waved her hand: “Liver cancer, the diagnosis to the loss of a person is only six months, all kinds of reimbursement can not solve the problem, so it is more important to eat public food. “I can’t understand the old family’s enthusiasm for the civil service examination, I think more money to buy enough insurance can also solve the problem of sickness, but her eyes firm look, I can’t bear to refute.
Keep taking the exam until you’re 35
The next is the speech class, which is my favorite class, the speech class teacher funny, we often talk about the class discussion, the couple in the gentleman spit out their own two last year only 100 points. The two are back from Beijing, one doing technology and one doing media. The husband Li Xun is a local, his wife Wang Xia is a fellow villager, Li Xun graduated from college to Beijing, see no hope to buy a house, want to go back to Taiyuan with his wife, taking into account the factors of parents, or decided to return to Shuozhou life, the two bought a house, in the last year married. At first, Li Xun in the network company to work, Wang Xia in doing copywriting, they found that the income is only a quarter of the northern drift, daily commute by electric car, the surrounding living environment is also not adapted to, after pregnancy, Wang Xia resigned and decided to take a public exam with her husband.
One night, it was snowing heavily, the couple drove me back, on the way, I talked again about why the topic of civil service, Wang Xia was embarrassed to say that because of pregnancy, resigned at home to raise a baby idle, want to find something to do, if the test, four days a week can be off work, the child does not have to follow the suffering.
Li Xun has taken the test 2 times, is still less, his classmates in Guangdong, two years to take the test 9 times, flying north and south, as long as there are exams on the report, do not know how much money spent, finally in last year on the bank. We even called persistent, but the teacher was not impressed, said he once took a student, every year, until 35 years old, that is, in the last year to take the test.
“The average length of time from exam to landing is 2 years for the average person. ” the teacher said gently. We heard that the agency sent him to test questions can test 150 to 160 points, which is a very high score, we asked him why not go to the civil service, he shrugged and said, the average salary of civil servants 4,000 yuan, his expenses are too large, the salary can not support his several girlfriends, we laughed a lot. The relationship between the students obviously improved a lot after the speech class.
Not long after, the classroom teacher suddenly sent a message to let us not go to class, the specific start time and wait for the notice. A week later, we were notified to switch to another location, and only then did Sister Wei Hong secretly tell me that she heard that the classroom on the second floor had been sealed by the relevant authorities because a competitor had reported the institution on the grounds that people had gathered during the epidemic.
The new classroom is still in the hotel, above a fatty beef hot pot restaurant, as I first guessed, a large guest room with beds and sofas, and a whiteboard erected in front of the TV. A few tables were set up compactly.
The second training location after the change, photo by the narrator.
Because the course schedule fell too far behind, the daily class time was extended again, from 7:00 p.m. to 11:00 p.m. every night. During the two months of night school, except for the third day when the whole class arrived, we were seldom in the classroom intact, either working overtime or the children had something to do.
Every time the class was in session, it was the time when the hot pot restaurant downstairs was doing its busiest business, with music, noise, and the smell of boiling hot pot floating around. One day. The teacher couldn’t resist, joking that the civil service exam is to resist the temptation along the way.
But this did not raise our interest, downstairs interference constantly, coupled with the fact that it is also almost New Year, the class can come every day only five or six students left, the heart of learning has long been dissipated. Even the teacher said that he could fall asleep in every class. Therefore, teachers never leave us homework, because they know that even if they do, they simply do not have time to do it.
“You can try to do well even if you pass the exam.”
On the last day before New Year’s Eve, only I was left in the classroom with another girl, and that’s when I learned that she was the last one to go home every day, and she told me that in another half hour, there was one last bus.
“There’s a bus this late in the day? “
“Yes, there is. This is the night bus that picks up seniors from their evening classes, and it only costs one dollar. “
I took out my phone to check, the last stop surprisingly passed our neighborhood, I decided to go home with her, waiting for the bus, we chatted up, I learned her name is Yanan. The next county’s Yanan, younger than me, now renting a room, in the city a street office as a temporary worker, the family’s expectations for her is to have a stable job.
“Those people do the same work, we only take less than half of the money of others”, she said of the status quo, Yanan from the beginning of the junior year to apply for various positions, national exams, provincial exams, township , teachers and so on, but because the study is a secretarial profession, the competition is too fierce, are unsuccessful.
“I’m too slow to do the questions, last year’s national exam I still have more than 50 questions did not do”, Yanan also speak slowly and methodically, asked her what her interests and expertise, she shook her head repeatedly. She said she was actually confused, after graduation did not know what to do, all her classmates are taking the civil service exam, her family urged her, but the family really does not have money, tuition fees are recommended by the training teacher loan program.
Waiting for an extra half hour just to take a dollar bus home, looking at Yanan’s confused face, I reassured her that she was still young, even if she was taking the civil service exam, she had a few more years of trial and error than others. “I hope so! “The bus arrived at the station and Yanan left. I also booked a ticket for the next day to prepare to go home for the New Year.
I didn’t even mention the civil service exam to my parents, and throughout the Spring Festival, I dodged questions from relatives left and right. After 10 days of vacation, I returned to the classroom again and had forgotten everything I had learned.
The classroom teacher repeatedly reminded, on the essay class is a famous teacher in Shanxi, surnamed Bai, many students by his point of view performance can be improved a lot, we have to listen carefully. As a result, I found out that this is not official writing, exactly copy book.
He calmly told me that this is how you can get high marks. In addition, Mr. Bai would set aside time in each class for us to recite essay gold sentences and quotations. In one class, I turned my opinion of him around. After speaking on the topic of countermeasures, Mr. Bai repeatedly stressed the need for practical and implementable advice, not to put forward false and empty advice, he said, “Although students have various dreams, which post of civil servants, the examination can do their best to do well, some of you will certainly become the city’s The teacher only wants to call on you to do something practical for the people. Stand for the executors of ……”
At that moment I seemed to be said to be somewhat touched, sink down and think about it, I have never thought about the problem by this perspective.
“I want to get on board.”
The two-month course was almost over, and on the last day, Sister Wei Hong proposed that we go downstairs for a hot pot to quench our cravings for the past few days. The balding elder brother refused, saying he had to rush back home. His name is Liu Qiang, and that’s when I learned that his family is in the county, more than 40 kilometers from the school, he comes once every three or two days, and every time he goes to class, every few minutes he has to ask the teacher where to talk, often run away from the mind, progress completely unable to keep up. His child is 3 years old, he himself has the establishment of the institution, the civil service examination is to improve the treatment, did not take the test last year, may itself have a stable job pockets, basically no time for classes, but also because of the long distance, Wang Xia also to can not eat spicy politely refused. In this way, 12 “middle-aged people” consisting of public examination night school class was disbanded on the spot.
Then, we were divided into different shifts for the final sprint training in accordance with the registration position, more than 60 people closed in the hotel for seven days and seven nights, a teacher every day, the morning to talk about the topic, the afternoon exam, the evening to talk about the paper also interspersed with a variety of public exam master lectures, a link, found dozens of cities across the country are bombarded with test training.
The classroom full of clattering reading sound, do not finish the topic, instill incomplete knowledge points, all people are studying tirelessly, the intensity is approaching the limit, even a few minutes between classes are playing “I want to go to bank The inspirational song “I want to go to the bank” is played for a few minutes between classes, and the atmosphere is more tense than the college entrance exams, which is pervasive in the large classroom.
I heard people around me who knew each other, and when I talked to them, I found that they had all taken the exam two years before, and they were discussing where to take the exam better, and many people came from surrounding cities to take the exam, and they were talking lively in various dialects.
The last day was supposed to be a rest day, but the school arranged for a master teacher to give us a pre-test bet, and the “master teacher” talked about skills such as the benefits of keeping the brain and muscles The “famous teacher” talked about some skills, such as keeping the brain and muscles in a tense state is good; the last question of data analysis, choose D is more likely to be correct; also let us buy a set of study ruler, there are graphical questions can directly measure the answer and so on.
The day of the exam, my boyfriend took me past the Wenquxing Temple, he proposed that I come down to pay my respects, I waved my hand, and finally did not pass the exam. Later, I contacted my classmates, Wang Xia is expecting a baby, she is also ready to take the career preparation; Liu Qiang is dead this time, the road is too far, he is not ready to take next year; Wei Hong sister did not enter the interview, she intends to continue next year, the other people have been unable to contact.
(Liu Xiaoyun, Liu Qiang, Wang Xia, Li Xun are pseudonyms in the article.