People who live hard, why are always let down by fate?

Once interviewed a deaf runner, his name is Huang Guanjun, 27 years old, and wrote an article after the interview, entitled “A silent world, a burning soul” The following are the feelings of the experience at that time.

Due to the shortage of time, it was too late to find someone who could sign language. Fortunately, the day before the official interview, I heard from a friend that Huang Guanjun could type on the computer, so I chatted with him on QQ to get a preliminary understanding.

Huang Guanjun’s screen name is “Lonely Alone” and his signature is “The personal description reads “I’m in a bad mood. The new laptop is so stuck. “

Chatting is much more difficult than I thought. Despite having attended elementary school and two years of junior high school, but due to physical constraints, 27-year-old Huang Guanjun, language and expression skills are very limited, visually still stuck in about ten years old. He did not understand very well the sentences and phrases that were slightly complicated and had a deeper meaning.

I had to translate the sentences into different expressions for him to understand. Even so, after nearly 3 hours of chatting, it was impossible to get to the point at all.

A silent “person with a heart”

The next day, with the wind howling, the photographer and I went to the new county rehabilitation center for the disabled in Beichuan, where Huang Guanjun was working. From a distance, I saw him waiting for us at the front door.

The thin boy in front of us was wearing glasses and a thin blue sweatshirt in the middle of winter. The boyish face, a pair of melancholy eyes deep as water, let people inexplicably heartache. I buried my head in the interview book to write, “you wear less, cold or not? I looked up and found that Huang Guanjun was standing quietly beside me, looking carefully at the problems I had written, and skillfully took over the pen and wrote, “Not cold. He is probably used to people communicating with him with pen and paper.

The physical handicap gives him a more sensitive and detailed heart than normal people.

Once I found my head down on the paper, he would quietly slow down; in the lobby after taking photos we went out, Huang Guanjun pulled Yong and carefully helped him remove a ball of sewing thread stuck to the back; in his home interview in Beichuan, we did not intend to pick up a cup, he immediately ran to the kitchen to boil water for us.

At the end of the interview, I was walking towards the door when Huang Guanjun took a few quick steps and ran in front of me, pointing to the tennis pocket he had been carrying, and wrote down on a piece of paper, “My running process, certificates, are all inside, ready for you. That’s when I remembered that I almost forgot to ask him what events he had participated in over the years. And he has been careful to help me remember.

Lonely and alone

Huang Guanjun’s bedroom is cluttered, and the gray hue gives a hint of depression. Even during the day, the curtains are still drawn airtight. And all the closet doors are open, as if to listen to the next 27 years of a teenager no one to talk about the heart.

“I want to get good grades, I want to go to college, but I can’t understand anything the teachers say, and I cry by myself every night. ” he wrote in a book on our way back to the rehabilitation center.

Running lonely, living lonely, happy with no one to share, sad with no one to tell, the silent world of deaf people is more lonely than I thought.

“How much do you communicate with your dad and mom in general? I wrote on the paper.

He drew a line under “Dad” with a pen and wrote “No”, and then under “Mom “and then draw a line under “mom” and write “less”.

I asked again, what about and sister? He wrote the next word, “less”.

I wrote “Mom and Dad are busy, they love you too”.

Huang Guanjun lowered his head for a moment and wrote, “No, do not like deaf, boring. “

A trace of sourness swept through my heart. At that moment, I seemed to understand the reason for his screen name “lonely alone”. If his defects are not deaf and mute, perhaps, he can still communicate with his parents in exchange for a longing love and attention; but the reality is, to the closest relatives, are unable to shout with abandon.

The silent world is like a black-and-white TV, with only a dancing landscape and no dynamic colors.

In this black and white TV, he stood alone in the cold street, wanting to set off but not knowing where to go, huddled in a gray corner, sinking in loneliness and decay.

Like a trapped beast longing for freedom, but no exit, not even the ability to hiss hard. No one will look into his pain. Even the closest relatives, but also the distance between the thousands of distant strangers, the greatest cruelty than this.

A silent world of burning souls

Exactly what to do, this black and white TV, so that it is not so monotonous?

Huang Guanjun chose to run. A simple exercise that can be done with only two legs. In addition to giving him a healthier body, he also became positive and optimistic, curing the depression and helplessness, difficult to pass the time of day.

Running is lonely, in the solitude of running, perhaps sensitive and ignorant Huang Guanjun, with his limited cognition, slowly and difficultly learned to get along with himself, learned to appreciate solitude and tranquility, and gained inner peace, and the power to persevere.

The accumulation of day by day, the sharpening of one competition after another, made the silent world suddenly have some hope, as if he had found a sense of existence in this world. The ten kilometers a day, which is difficult for ordinary people to adhere to, became as easy as eating and sleeping on time here, Huang Guanjun.

In the lonely running, Huang Guanjun found the faith of living. This is not only because of love, but also because running has taken in a helpless heart. To have such faith in his heart, he finally began to look forward to the world.