How to behave at the party with some ease

  1. Start with food and drinks.

Food and wine is often the best catalyst to open the conversation, even a simple afternoon tea, a small amount of cookies can often lead to a suitable topic, or perhaps even a piece of dessert practice, a cup of coffee mellow or not. Take the initiative to pour tea and wine to others, are very polite and gentle way to get a good feeling, which is not the so-called ingratiating, but respect, even if the opposite sitting your rival your rival, if you can still give respect calmly, the party is really “no war and give up the army The first thing you can do is to be respectful.

Break the Ice first.

Icebreaking is a long-discussed topic in Communication. Countless regrettable experiences have told me that being the first to reach out, being the first to open up, will often have unexpected gains.

  1. Curiosity is the priority

The process of getting to know others is always accompanied by curiosity and the sharing of stories. It doesn’t really matter if the story contains your success or failure, what matters is that he can show your values (To make people know what you stand for and value), or so that others can define “What kind of person you are”.

So even though I’m a young man, I’m not worried about others promoting me as a proud stinking idiot, “how much denigration can stand up to how much praise”, you need not worry about Other people’s standards, you just need to do well for yourself. Don’t be afraid to be a debatable person.

Add a story.

I met Z at a dinner party that I was already late for. Everyone at the dinner party was meeting for the first time, but because we all had similar backgrounds, we opened up the conversation. After the meal, I only remembered everyone’s name, but I didn’t know much about them other than that. z was going to the airport after the meal, so I offered to have a cup of coffee with him and take him to the nearest subway station for a ride. We found a Starbucks on the corner, and after a short chat, I was very curious about his experience, so I took the initiative to tell my own story about growing up, and then Z started to tell his story too.

After spending two years in Japan, he decided he needed a broader stage to see the world, and finally decided to transfer to the United States. After graduating from a prestigious school in the US this year, he was accepted by a famous Japanese auto giant, and the CEO personally came to the US to meet him. After talking with the CEO for two hours about his life and ideals, he decided to give up the job offer and go to Stanford for his master’s degree.

From Z, I saw not only the wisdom of a young man who has crossed the cultures of China, the United States and Japan, but also the courage to know the trade-offs, which are all led by curiosity. Although we only met in passing and had very different personalities, that didn’t stop us from opening up, sharing each other’s stories, and becoming friends. We exchanged contact information and said we must keep in touch.

  1. Don’t lie, even you won’t meet this person again.

Looking back at the history of mankind, it is easy to see that most social relationships were built around tribes, villages, and city-states. The beginning of the Age of Sail changed this pattern, as diplomatic relations were established between nations, and social relations among ordinary people began to span the four corners of the globe. Traditionally, tribal, village and city-state relations were solid, and ultimately, people knew each other by heart, because there was a high degree of transparency, and the exchange of information was slow, but there were no barriers in the strict sense. And the speed of information exchange in this era is changing rapidly, resulting in each of your lies may need more lies to round, so whether it is an individual or a company, it is especially important to maintain transparency, because some of your true information is completely searchable on LinkedIn/Facebook/Twitter/Knowledge/Twitter, and your lies may not even survive one night.

Rejecting lies and maintaining the sincerity you deserve will be a great convenience for others to understand you, and to a certain extent, it can eliminate the gap of strangers and facilitate further trust building. You can take every attempt to understand you as a self-marketing opportunity, sincerely present yourself.

  1. Be a good listener, then ask a good question

I’ve watched many conversations with people in unfamiliar situations, and most of them start with name, origin, job, school experience, and then lose interest in a general conversation. Nani? That’s it?

So, I like to ask these questions.

1) What are the things you are most passionate about? (Not just an interest)

2) What are your short-term goals? (including life and work)

3) Do you have long-term goals? (Not just dreams)

Some people say that it is not appropriate to ask this question when we first meet. In fact, these three questions inevitably include the three themes of work, school experience and interests, and on top of that, a Tunnel Test is conducted.

Because this Tunnel Test tests the following two possibilities.

Do you have a common or similar passion?

Do you have something that can help others?

This is a priority for me (or could be for you) in any conversation.

P.S. Especially when you’re talking to a girl, know that “women need empathy, not answers.

Be a Giver.

Wharton professor Adam M. Grant (Adam M. Grant Ph.D.) released a book this year called “Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to In the book, Grant points out that there are three kinds of interpersonal networks: Taker, Giver, and Matcher.

Givers Contributors

The distinctive feature of Givers is that they contribute positively without any purpose of return, and they put the interests of others above their own interests. The difference between a contributor and a taker is not just a difference in money or material things, but more of an attitude toward others.

This is why I try to think in every conversation, whether familiar or unfamiliar, “What can I do to help them? “

But you may ask.

Why do we emotionally hate the taker more than we do the giver?

It is common to be wary of takers, but because we are always wary of the worst in others, it is inevitable that the worst in ourselves is inevitable: for fear of becoming a fool in the eyes of others, we reluctantly turn our backs on our noble quality, generosity.

Is it true that contributors are fools, always at a disadvantage?

Not really. Grant’s research shows that contributors tend to earn the highest or lowest in the same industry, with takers in the lower middle and exchangers in the upper middle. He further concluded that contributors have unparalleled advantages in four more career directions: socializing, collaborating, evaluating, and exerting influence.

*There is no doubt that contributors are more popular in social networks.

*Contributors tend to produce more in collaborative business work and are more likely to be respected by colleagues.

*The process of evaluating others is often a process of discovering self and finding value in others, and over time, the ability to evaluate talent is greatly enhanced.

  • Contributors exert influence is an integrated process that includes: selling, persuading, negotiating, and these soft skills help others support our business ideas and perspectives.

You will be more comfortable and confident if you open every conversation with the intention of contributing value rather than taking value.

And your life will be fuller if you know how to be generous and giving. (:)

To end with one of my favorite quotes from Ashton Kutcher: “Be Smart.

Be Smart. Be Generous. Be Thoughtful.