The most common of all modern emotions is anxiety, which almost everyone can’t get rid of and seems to live in a world where there is anxiety all day long.
Anxiety is essentially fear, the fear of the unknown.
The most annoying thing about anxiety is that it is difficult to cure or get rid of, such as tiredness can be relieved with rest, such as hunger can eat a meal, and even fever have fever medicine. But anxiety, sometimes especially powerless, and the process of trying to get rid of anxiety, itself will deepen anxiety.
This is a very strange phenomenon, it is reasonable to say that the current human evolution to the top of the food chain, as the survival crisis of other animals basically does not exist. For example, in the grassland animals, every day at any time may be eaten, in addition it is difficult to ensure food and clothing. And as humans, these worries are superfluous premise, why will breed more anxiety to.
We will be anxious about many things, most of which are related to comparison and competition. We will worry about the performance assessment can not be completed, will worry about not finding a job or unemployment, worry about not being able to find someone and end up alone. We worry about our children’s poor performance and not being able to win in the competition in the future. We are anxious about our own body, feeling obese and three high, and worry that we will get cancer at any time.
It seems that we simply won’t live without setting ourselves up for matters that require anxiety. Everyone hates anxiety and probably understands that anxiety doesn’t help, but there’s just something you can’t do about it. Just like Han Han said, “Know a lot of sense, but still can not live this life ……”
So, is there really nothing you can do in the face of anxiety?
First of all, it is important to know that emotions can not solve the problem, but thinking is very necessary. When I encounter difficulties or ups and downs in life, I ask myself several questions.
(1) Is the worst outcome bearable?
(2) What is the probability of the worst outcome?
(3) What are the effective methods that can be used?
After thinking about these questions, most of the worries will be ruled out, a small number of worries because they can not be ruled out can only be left to fate. Simple is not to worry about small things big things worry about useless.
Second, to overcome greed and excessive desire. It is not difficult to maintain the conditions of human life in the world, in fact, in addition to all the burdens. For example, the purpose of making money is to spend it, and the meaning of spending money is to improve the quality of life and to buy convenience. Therefore, money is a tool and not a purpose. In addition, can also accept the life is not good enough, such as the house is not big enough, the wife is not beautiful enough, the child is not smart enough. A little mortgage is nothing, who lives a life without pulling some famine ……
Also, in addition to your own wife and children, don’t sacrifice yourself in order to meet others. Sometimes we especially love to live for others, as if afraid of being looked down upon, or even care about the gaze of strangers. For example, in the crowd accidentally farted, because of being coaxed to laugh and a long time can not be released. When you think about it, who would fight with a stranger’s fart, everyone is so busy. Sometimes you need to ignore others and please yourself more, which is important but hard to do.
Finally, it is important to look at things with a high and developmental perspective. Remember the line, “The things that make you sad, one day you’ll speak with a smile ……” If you think people around you suck when you pull yourself up and then look down, they are no longer your opponents, but the clowns of the masses. So, Q spirit is also necessary, selective ignorance is a very strong ability, will make your life more comfortable.
Of course, these may not solve all the problems, you anxiety to face, accept their own imperfection, quietly waiting for this bad day to pass, to meet the next bad arrival.
It’s okay, you can’t die.
@YouKnowYou: I read an article about social anxiety.
Social anxiety (social phobia) is actually a series of reactions to the thought of dealing with people (the so-called “social threat”).
This includes physical reactions (racing heart, sweating), cognitive reactions (thinking about all the problems that can occur in social situations), emotional reactions (pain, wanting to hide ……), and behavioral reactions (withdrawing, reducing presence).
The problem is that we humans are known as “social animals” and our species is so successful by cooperating. So why has “social anxiety” evolved?
Speculations include
① Social anxiety is indeed beneficial for people of lower classes. Our ancestors lived in a social structure where the status of the members was clearly differentiated and the higher ranked could decide the life and death of the lower ranked. For those who were already low in the group, if they were not socially anxious, if they were too “comfortable”, they might be kicked out of the group. Thus, social fear increases the chances of survival and reproduction for some people.
Because social cooperation is important, it is also important to be aware of whether or not you are socially excluded. Just as we have built-in “temperature receptors” and ” Pain receptors” to remind ourselves if we are too cold/hot/injured. Social anxiety is a “social exclusion receptor” “interpersonal relationship measure”, will from time to time remind you to pay attention to, their own interpersonal relationships okay? Is there an accidental social death?
③ We humans are a very adaptable creature, meaning that we will determine the environment we are in through our childhood experiences and adjust ourselves significantly.
For example, if our childhood nutrition is too poor, our body thinks it is in a “lack of food and water” environment and adjusts its metabolism to a very good energy storage mode – so it grows up easily. So when we grow up, we tend to get fat/diabetic.
If we were socially excluded as children, such as attending a school with indifferent teachers and bullying classmates, our bodies will perceive ourselves as being in a “socially excluded” environment By developing “social anxiety,” we are better able to protect ourselves in harsh environments. When we grow up, even in a normal environment, we still have a fear of social interaction and it is easy to see rejection in others – they may not mean it, but the brain will recognize it as rejection. This in turn deepens social anxiety and fear.
The solution is to remind yourself that you are no longer in a time of “death by collective rejection”. “Social death”, after all, is not really death. If you try a few more times, you may find that the consequences of “social death” are not that serious. If a group just doesn’t accept you, you can try again with a different group.
For adults, if a child needs to change classes or schools, it is better not to bother and not to think “this is a famous school” – when a child is in an environment of exclusion, it is better to try again. -When a child is in an environment of exclusion, a “prestigious school” doesn’t give them any growth benefits.
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