One day, my father asked me for money. The initial excuse was that he was not feeling well and needed to go to the hospital for a full body checkup, so I sent him the money.
I didn’t expect that he would call again in a short time, saying he wanted to buy an electric tricycle.
I hesitated for a moment, but he seemed to hear my hesitation and said, “You pay me half, and I’ll pay half myself to sell the family sheep. “
My heart softened. All these years, he had been raising sheep, four or five of them, which he grew up and sold as his daily expenses.
When my mother died, I wanted to bring him to the city, but he insisted on not coming.
He refused, saying he was used to the countryside and the people in the village.
He said he was used to the countryside and the people in the village. I couldn’t convince my father, so I had to let him.
But he always refused to take the money he was given, saying that his life was simple, his expenses were small, and he couldn’t spend much.
But now that I have sent the money to ……, I feel that something is not quite right in my heart.
2
After 3 months of this, I decided to take my daughter home to see him.
The door was locked, and Uncle Sam, who lived next door, said he had gone to herd sheep.
I took my daughter up the slope and saw the little flock of sheep from a distance, but only when I got closer did I see him: sitting under a tree, dozing, with a plastic sheet next to him and a half-eaten cake, a small bag of pickles, and a jug of water on it. ……
I was saddened and called out “Dad”.
He opened his eyes with a jolt and took half a day to respond, “Girl, why did you come back without telling me first? “
My daughter snapped, “Mom said she had a surprise for you. “
He was so happy indeed that he couldn’t be bothered to tell me more and dragged his daughter to meet his precious sheep.
There were eight of them, a small flock,” he said cheerfully.
He said cheerfully, “They’ll be sold in a little while, for a lot of money, now that the price of sheep has gone up again. “
When he got home, the yard was a little messy, and in the corner was his pedal-powered tricycle, which he had been riding for many years.
“Dad, where’s the electric bike you bought? “I asked casually.
He was a little panicked: “I …… haven’t bought it yet, and they said the price of electric cars will drop next month. “
As I was cleaning up the yard, I heard him call my brother, “Your sister is back, you guys should come back for dinner tonight too. “
Another whispered instruction, “Buy more good food. “
I wanted to say something, but then I stopped.
During those years, I was always mindful of my parents’ partiality.
Because of my youthful jealousy, I was deliberately estranged from my brother, and later, in a fit of pique, I entered a good university and finally left home with my eyebrows raised.
3
After graduating from college, I joined a good foreign company and worked as a white-collar worker, while my younger brother barely finished vocational junior college and became the kind of small worker who worked on the assembly line in the county town, looking up to me with a little more awe.
In the afternoon, my brother and his wife came back early with their children and bought a lot of things.
My father cooked for my younger brother, who did all the cooking, and made many dishes that I loved. He doesn’t cook when my mother is around.
Surprisingly, he made every dish taste like my mother’s. As I ate, I almost drooled. As I ate, I almost wept.
In the evening, I talked with him in the courtyard, but I didn’t expect that he would go in a big circle, first saying that the village was under unified planning, and then saying that my mother wanted to rebuild the house before she died. ……
Only at the end did you try to ask, “If you guys weren’t so tight, could you …… you know, your brothers and their ……”
I interrupted him, “Dad, how much will it cost to flip the house? “In the heart, there is suddenly a bit of unexplainable sadness.
“Probably, it’s about $20,000 ……” his voice lowered and he quickly added. “If I sold all my sheep, I could sell them for thousands of dollars. “
I was stunned: more than 20,000 is not a small amount for me, I mumbled, “Dad, I’ll go back and take a look at it, it shouldn’t be too much of a problem. “
He bowed his head: “Girl, this is hard for you. Let’s see how much we can get, Dad is old and doesn’t spend money on anything else ……”
I smiled. The moonlight was dark, so he must not have seen that my smile was bitter.
He is not a stingy person, but this year, his situation is worse than mine.
He runs a small export company, and now even his salary is a problem.
Finally he said, “Give the money to Dad, let’s tighten our grip and we’ll always get by. “
4
Half a month after I remitted the money to my father, I met a relative from my hometown who was in town on business, and I asked in passing, “Has the renovation of our house started? “
He was a little surprised, “I didn’t hear your dad say he was going to flip the house. “
Then he remembered something, “By the way, your father sold all the sheep and bought a small passenger van for your brother, your brother is no longer in the factory, he drives his own car and makes deliveries, quite a lot of money ……”.
I have a cold chill in my heart, as if I was instantly doused with cold water.
It turned out that he was lying to me, he was always partial to his younger brother, so partial that he cheated me out of money to help him – parents can’t hate, but that resentment, how heavy is it?
When I got home, I finally couldn’t help but lock myself in the bathroom and cry through the clattering water.
I didn’t call him for several days after that.
When he called me first, I just ignored him, and he hung up the phone, but I never thought that would be the last time I would hear from him.
But I never thought that was the last time I would hear his voice.
5
Three days later, I received a call from my brother saying he had died, from a myocardial infarction.
I suddenly remembered his trivial advice and my coldness in the phone call 3 days ago.
It was like a heavy stone hitting my heart, so hard that I didn’t breathe for a long time.
When I rushed home, I cried with my brother for the first time, and when my mother left, I still had his arms to cling to. ……
The resentment I felt towards him a few days ago has long since been washed away by his sudden departure, surrounded only by pain.
After settling his funeral, when I left, my brother walked me to the station and said, “Sister, come back often, Mom and Dad are gone, home is still here. “
At that word, my dry eyes suddenly filled with tears again. I shook my brother’s hand and said, “Take care,” as I got into the car and left.
I thought maybe I wouldn’t return to this so-called home much anymore.
It took many days before I was able to calm down from his departure.
6
My husband’s company was in trouble and he was cheated out of all his money by a client.
My husband almost collapsed, and the man who never touched alcohol began to get drunk every day.
I was distraught and anxious, but at the same time, at my wit’s end, I thought about it one night and decided to sell the house.
My brother called the next day at noon, but after he left, my brother called often.
I didn’t have the heart to exchange pleasantries with him, but he heard my anxiety and asked patiently. Still, I told my brother.
I didn’t expect him to take the train the next morning and rush over, enter the door, without saying anything, and pull out a wad of money wrapped in newspaper: “Sister, this is 50,000 yuan, not much, take it in case of emergency. “
I was amazed: “Where did you get the money? The company has been in the business of driving and hauling goods for a few months, and has taken out a 30,000 yuan mortgage on the house. …”
I was so hot that I pushed the money to him, “I can’t use your money. “
My brother was anxious: “Sister, last year the factory closed down, your siblings and I were laid off, and I wanted to buy a car, and I didn’t have any money, and you gave Dad 40,000 yuan to give to me, and you didn’t let him tell me it was your money. “
I was dumbfounded, and my brother was still saying, “Dad said that when I was little you always let me go because I was your brother, but now I have to protect you because you’re a woman.
Dad also said that one day when he’s gone, I’ll be your mother’s ……”
“Dad! “I turned my head and burst into tears.
How had this heartless daughter of mine misunderstood his loving, bitter heart.
He knew he was going to die soon. He knew that I, who was arrogant by nature, would not even ask for affection or depend on it.
Therefore, he wanted to book a future love and protection for me.
When he first asked me for money, what kind of dilemma he must have felt? How much courage do you need to muster?
But he still had to do it, just so that after he left, I would have the love of my family to fall back on.
It turned out that the child he loved the most was still me.
I turned back to my brother and hugged him, not saying anything, just holding him tightly.
I think at this moment, he, who is sleeping in heaven, must be relieved because his daughter, who always lived in his deep love but didn’t know it, has finally understood his love.
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