This year’s May Day holiday for five days in a row, compared to previous years, but also the peak wedding season. Some “professional bridesmaids” squeezed into the travel army, running to their tasks. Recently, this profession has attracted widespread attention, and many people were surprised to find that the original wedding also cost money to rent bridesmaids. They are at the wedding of one stranger after another, keeping secrets, playing close friends, trying to liven up the atmosphere, but also witnessing the loneliness of modern people.
Early in the morning of May 1, Xie Yuke arrived at the airport in the southern suburbs of Mianyang, Sichuan, with her high heels and dress, and joined the surging crowd of travelers. More than four hours later, the plane landed at Tianjin Binhai Airport, where she met for the first time the person she was going to serve – a bride who was going to get married the next day.
Xie Yuke had to play the role of the bride’s best friend at the wedding to convince others that she had come a long way to deliver her blessings. But her true identity – the “professional bridesmaid” who charges thousands of dollars – is a secret to be kept The secret to keep. In order not to wear out, there have been brides pulling groups a week in advance, requiring daily conference calls and non-stop chats.
Seven years ago, New York girl Jane Glantz became popular in the United States for being a bridesmaid more than 30 times a year. The profession is gradually being discovered by the market. She had tried to post an advertisement about it on the Internet and thought no one would reply, but to her surprise, she received more than 100 letters within a month. Loneliness, lack of friends, or the embarrassment of offending friends for a time-consuming and expensive errand were the reasons she was chosen.
In China, this is also a common dilemma for many young people. Most professional bridesmaids work part-time, either as college students with plenty of time on their hands or as young women with freer jobs. Some people have bounced around Yunnan, Fujian and Guangdong provinces in 5 days, so busy that they could only doze off on the plane; some encountered a lot of unexpected situations, such as the day before the wedding, the bride suddenly said she did not want to marry; others were too professional, and the bride “complaints “.
More often than not, they are carefully selected by the customers, in such a happy marriage ceremony, like a walking lamp to see all kinds of sadness and happiness.
The following are the accounts of three professional bridesmaids.
“Not too ugly, not too beautiful”
Wolf, 27 years old, coordinates Shanghai, this job for the makeup artist
Two days ago, I was complained by the bride, of course, not really complained, just complained that I was too “professional”.
The day before the wedding, I took a four-hour train ride from Shanghai to Wenzhou to meet the bride for the first time. They and I also contacted in a hurry, about a week ago, the phone briefly communicated about the specific wedding date and process, it was set first.
The couple are both working in Zhejiang, but the bride is from the north and her friends are not around. She searched for a long time before, and determined the next three bridesmaids, but not enough, so she rushed to find me online. As a result, by the day before the wedding, two bridesmaids were not able to make it for various reasons, and the only one left was a friend of the man.
For many brides, the bridesmaids are here to support themselves and give them some backbone, especially if they are married far from home. We always keep it a secret and don’t tell anyone that I paid for the bridesmaids.
This bride, too, kept bugging me not to act too professional. I had to reassure her that I would tell everyone the next day that I had just been to my own sister’s wedding, which is why I knew the process so well.
After all, I was paid to take care of the other bridesmaids in many places and to arrange for some processes that they were not too familiar with. On the day of the wedding she was still very apprehensive, always thinking that I knew too much and could easily reveal myself. For example, when trying on clothes, they are not very clear, I will do some guidance. In fact, no one can see it, it’s her own too nervous and faint heart. I didn’t know whether to cry or laugh when I was complained about being too professional.
Usually when you hire a professional bridesmaid for something like this, the groom will know about it, but there are some brides who simply don’t tell anyone. Even some of the guests at the wedding are paid group acts. Everyone wants to look good at their own wedding, don’t they?
I was working as a makeup artist in Shanghai, and I often came into contact with some brides, and when I talked, I found that quite a few people were worried about the bridesmaids. When I asked around with wedding companies, every one of them told me that their own clients had also encountered this problem.
In early 2019, I posted my personal information on a hometown website with the idea of giving it a try and then didn’t really care. After only a week, someone actually called me, and I was still quite confused.
The first order I received was from a Shanghai girl who had married out of town, and I accompanied her to the area and stayed in the same room in the hotel. The night before the wedding, she was so excited that she couldn’t sleep, and I somehow couldn’t sleep either. At three o’clock in the morning, we got up and ordered a barbecue and chatted while we ate.
At that time, I suddenly felt the responsibility and meaning of this job. In such an important moment, without a friend by her side, then I must send her out in style.
Nowadays, most of the professional bridesmaids are part-time. The time is not fixed, so it is not suitable for the 9 to 5 working people. I used to take about 2-4 orders a month, mostly from Shanghai locals, and the price for a day was about 800-1000 RMB. Basically, the guest quotes, and then I determine.
I originally thought that those who needed to pay for bridesmaids would be foreigners like me who came to Shanghai to work, but then I found out that most of them were locals. Sometimes, I met some brides who were a little older and had friends who were already married. More often, they are still relatively young.
After contacting more people, I found that the reason they come to me is that in the current society, there are only a few people that we can really contact regularly. Weddings are also about the zodiac, and the calculated time is sometimes on a weekday, not a holiday. Ask some friends to set aside time to ask for leave from work, but are too embarrassed to ask.
Another important reason is that the bridesmaids themselves need to take on some work, especially to take care of the bride. Many people have been bridesmaids for their friends and relatives, and I used to do it for my own relatives. It was a very relaxed time, basically just having a good time. If the bride needs anything, sometimes she may not be able to call anyone for half a day, and she is not too proud to ask her friends to do so.
But professional bridesmaids are different, we have to control the scene, liven up the atmosphere, and respond to everything. The bride should also take the initiative to see what she needs, such as preparing some food for her, or helping her to carry her bag, change her shoes, etc., to calm her down when she has some mood swings.
The bridesmaids can’t be too ugly, because they have to be photographed in a group photo. It is also not too beautiful, no one wants to be robbed of the limelight at the wedding. The first time I took the order I put on some serious makeup, but after that I never wore makeup again, basically a light foundation and I went.
I have not spent time to integrate the resources of customers, so most of the previous orders from the local Shanghai, and occasionally take some Jiangsu, Zhejiang and Shanghai. This industry is still relatively new, norms are also relatively scarce, will not step on the pit all depends on luck, but the good thing is that the customers I met are still quite good.
Although in real life, I heard a lot of stories of marriages in a mess, but every time I do bridesmaids to participate in weddings, I can still feel the romance. I don’t think marriage is a necessary option, but the feeling of two people fighting together is still different. I’m still waiting for my own destiny and looking forward to my wedding. I always imagine the day when I have to hire five or six professional bridesmaids, choreograph a dance that blows up the scene, and give the groom a hard time.
I am still optimistic about this industry. Although I won’t be able to be a bridesmaid after I get married, I will stay in the industry and introduce bridesmaids to people who need them.
“The price will be higher if you ask for a drink.”
Li Ke, 29 years old, coordinates Zhengzhou, freelancer
In 2016, I saw on WeChat that a program specializing in bridesmaid and groomsmen rental services was recruiting agents, so I contacted them and became the head of the Henan region. Usually, I am responsible for coordinating resources in addition to taking local orders myself. If the customer needs it, we communicate and can directly recommend the right person, saving the other party the trouble of looking for it themselves!
In addition to some temporary failure to find a bridesmaid, some of the customers who come to place orders are also superstitious. First of all, the wedding should be calculated zodiac auspicious day, secondly, she will also find someone to tell fortune, their bridesmaids should meet what conditions. For example, the Chinese zodiac, age, eight characters, all must match. If she doesn’t have the right friends, she has to come to the platform to find them.
Some customers’ needs are difficult to meet. For example, a couple wanted both a bridesmaid and a best man. The man, 170cm, asked for a best man who was shorter and fatter than him, and the woman asked for a bridesmaid who was about 160cm and uglier than her. I gave them a long time to pick, probably sent 20 to 30 alternative, they are not satisfied.
Finally, it was easy to choose a few still satisfied, because the reason for the cost of travel and yellow. Then the list was cancelled, and that was the first time I couldn’t find anyone. There is no way, willing to come out to do professional bridesmaids, itself will not be ugly.
There are some people who are particularly afraid of wearing out. The general customer is also a day in advance to meet and talk, but there is a bride a week in advance to pull the group. That customer is a woman in her 30s, quite highly educated, surrounded by friends who are married. She gave the impression that she was very strict. Some of the professional bridesmaids had to work, some were in school and all were quite busy, but she required them to show up every night at the same time, to have a conference call together and to chat non-stop. She was afraid of shouting the wrong name at the scene, or meeting which acquaintance to ask up, not knowing much about each other.
Before, some places have more serious wedding drama bridesmaids, such as certain places in Weinan and Shanxi, and it’s hard to find people for bridesmaids there because people don’t want to go. Some customers only say, which links in the middle need bridesmaids to do a game, but some will say understand, we may have some farce in the middle, this kind of general we will simply refuse.
Afraid to attend the wedding people do not know that we are rented, and therefore make a scene, we will make it clear to the customer in advance, we just go to get together a person, or not to go, no one will be for a few hundred dollars into an unsafe situation. Some customers will also ask for some wine, then this kind of price will generally be higher, but rarely. In the past two years, the haunted bridesmaid situation is basically gone.
At first I was quite worried that the agency fee are not earned back, because we are considered the first domestic people to do this business, like an experiment, do not know what the prospects in the end. The result is that over the years there has been more and more demand, especially in May and October when the peak season. This year, May will be burst single, there must be hundreds of wedding demand, more than the usual three months of the single. May 1, the day, there are probably more than 30 single to find, the demand is too much.
The most demand is in Jiangsu, Zhejiang and Shanghai, and the cost there is the highest. Basically, 800 yuan to start with, thousands of many, while the single volume and cost of Henan side is relatively low.
Some people are now booking bridesmaids for the National Day. It is possible that in their minds, this is the same reason as booking the auditorium, late is no longer available. But in fact, it is not the case, the sooner the bridesmaids are not found, to the week before the wedding and then look for the appropriate, the bridesmaids will be better arranged time.
“The bride suddenly told me she didn’t want to get married.”
Xie Yuke, 21, taking orders across the country, a junior studying in Sichuan
Last year, I read about professional bridesmaids in the news. I went to search carefully, and at that time I thought it was more in line with my part-time job imagination, feeling that I could play around, eat and drink, and enjoy the culture of various places. I like to be the one who eats crabs early.
Our professional three days a week is full of classes, the remaining four days can be arranged by themselves. I will take weddings all over the country, Guangdong, Guangxi, Henan, Fujian, Yunnan, basically these provinces have been to, can understand the speech of people around. A lot of single actually does not include the travel expenses, but if the service fee itself is okay, and the place is what I want to go to play, I will go.
This is also one of my core competencies. I usually take orders in the public number of WeChat, business is quite good, every week people will come to find. In less than five months, I’ve taken more than 20 orders. Not only the big city people have demand, the township orders are also a lot, I received almost half of each.
The busiest time, I took three orders in five days, respectively in Guangdong, Yunnan and Fujian. At that time, I just wanted to make more money, I didn’t think I would be so tired. After waking up in the early morning and working all day, I rushed to the next place without stopping, almost no time to rest, only to sleep on the plane. From that time on, I dare not take orders that often again.
The list of May 1 is really more. There was a client from Xi’an who came to me, but there was a time conflict with another single from Tianjin. Xi’an I’ve been there six times, so I chose Tianjin. After this one, there is another one from Shandong and one from Shanxi, which are being discussed. I don’t ask them why they are looking for a professional bridesmaid until we meet, I think the most important thing in this business is to keep secrets and active atmosphere.
In fact, the wedding is still relatively civilized, not much encountered in the news those traditional bad customs. Sometimes we will put a message on the door, “Welcome the bride, civilized wisdom marriage”, to remind friends and relatives to welcome the bride civilized.
When I encountered some emergency situations, I also had to improvise to deal with them. Once, the day before the wedding, the bride suddenly told me that she did not want to marry. She and the groom had met on a blind date and had been together for two years. Although in the same city, but not in the same district, the two districts between the drive also takes more than forty minutes, with the other side of the almost, the two people did not meet very often.
In the moment before the wedding, she suddenly did not feel safe, just do not want to marry. I was very surprised that it had come to this. I could only reassure her repeatedly and teach her how to send weibo one sentence at a time, guiding her to tell the groom about these pre-wedding anxieties. Finally the groom promised her that he would spend more time with her in the future.
Then the wedding was completed quite smoothly, her kind of emotion, in fact, is a sudden pre-wedding anxiety, right. But I think without my guidance, the wedding might have been cancelled because she really didn’t know how to communicate with the groom at that time.
After taking more orders, I found that the wedding process is actually similar everywhere. Basically, everyone chooses a Western-style wedding and goes through a set of fixed processes, so they don’t feel anything special anymore.
If it’s an early dinner, many brides will start makeup at three o’clock in the morning, after the photographer to take pictures, waiting for the groom to pick up the bride. Then comes the “door blocking”, where the groom and the best man participate in four or five games that we have prepared, and after they are all cleared, he can marry the bride. Occasionally, there are some special customs, such as in Yunnan, where a mirror is hung on the bride’s chest or back to ward off evil spirits.
The only Chinese wedding I have ever attended was in a small town next to Xi’an. It had to do with local customs, and maybe the bride liked the style. It was really big, eight people carrying a palanquin, the bride in the red traditional wedding clothes, covered with a red head received the man’s home.
The dragon and lion dances along the way, there may be a total of eighty or ninety people, such a procession is quite spectacular, the ceremony is also a classical form, two people exchange tokens. Nowadays, Chinese weddings also invite bridesmaids, and the process will be much more complicated and complex than the Western style, but we have to do the same things, nothing special.
For myself, after watching so many weddings, I think it’s too complicated. One day when I get married, I may just invite a couple of tables to have a home-cooked meal together. I’m not the kind of person who likes a big show, I don’t think it’s necessary, I hope I can keep it simple.
(Coyote is a pseudonym in the article, intern Tu Shuyun also contributed to this article)
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