Some people say that it is harder to get along with people than to do things, and if we just do things, we can do them diligently and seriously without worrying about the results. But dealing with people is not so simple, often because they ignore the details of getting along with others and offend people. Because of the inability to coordinate personnel, the work has been obstructed, and what could have been a success has failed. Or, although successful at work, they fail in their relationships with people.
From my usual observations, I have found that, broadly speaking, there are two kinds of people. One kind of person is very considerate and attentive to people. He does not forget every colleague’s, every relative’s or friend’s birthday, New Year’s festivals, even their children’s birthdays, graduations, awards, school admissions, and so on. He is always the first to socialize, to give gifts, to congratulate. He is also a very smooth talker, not offending anyone in any way, saying whatever he needs to say and dealing with everything.
By all accounts, this kind of person should be the least likely to offend people. However, I found that even if he was not offended, he must have been miserable and tired. The details of his life take up so much of his attention that he doesn’t have the strength to attend to the things he really needs to do. And, because he so did not want to offend anyone, he often felt sad and nervous once in a while when someone said something bad about him. He felt sad that he could not get the goodwill of people in return for his good intentions.
At the same time, we find that people are often cruel. The more comprehensive they are, the less they will forgive someone if they occasionally find that they have made a mistake. Because people will think, if he is so thorough, so careful, and yet such an oversight is intentional, then it is unforgivable. It is not easy to be an eight-sided person!
The other kind of person I met was sloppy. He doesn’t worry about anything, goes his own way, and never cares about anyone else’s business, let alone their emotions or difficulties. This kind of person, though, is less worried about himself and can concentrate on what he needs to do. However, it is this kind of person who has trouble with personnel matters. They are too sloppy, they don’t know when they have offended someone, and they don’t try to win the trust and understanding of others even when they should. As a result, they also suffer obstruction and failure.
In my opinion, it is best to maintain a little detachment in dealing with people. In this detachment, some compassion and sincerity should be added. Don’t join a clique of personnel disputes and don’t talk about anyone’s rights or wrongs behind their backs. In this way, you can avoid being drawn into a vortex of petty socializing and idle gossip, while preserving the emotional connection you should have with the people around you. Make people believe in your sincerity and understand your detachment, and you will be less likely to encounter hostile people behind your back when you do your work!
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