I was born in 1988.
Grandpa heard on the phone that mom had a girl and just went to town once to see me when I was full term. My grandmother, on the other hand, had a fall when I was born, and she spent a long time after that recovering from her injuries back home.
I almost had a sister when I was four years old. At that time, family planning was not very strict, so my mother was pressured by the elders to have another one. But the sister was poorer, crying non-stop since birth, spitting up milk all the time, and still not getting better a few days after being taken home from the hospital, and then going to the hospital to find out that she had a “congenital megacolon” disease, where certain sections of the intestines were stuck together. She couldn’t eat anything, but she was very uncomfortable and cried all the time, and she went to various hospitals in Wuhan but couldn’t be cured. Later, she left this world due to various complications.
Later, in 1994, I had a sudden attack of myocarditis and almost lost my life. I was sent to the hospital overnight and was given hormone pills and hormone pills and spent most of the year in bed.
At that time, the family planning policy was already very strict, but because of my serious illness, my mom and dad applied to the community and they were eligible to have a second child. (Yes, that’s the same certificate I went through in the film.)
In July of 1995, I was recovering from a serious illness. I was unprepared for the arrival of my baby brother.
After hearing the news of my brother’s birth, my grandparents were naturally happy.
Grandma decided to stay at my house and focus on taking care of my brother. Grandpa, on the other hand, would make the long trek from his hometown to my house every two weeks, carrying freshly slaughtered chickens, freshly caught fish, fresh local eggs, and freshly cut beef, and “seeing his grandson” with great joy.
After my brother was born, my already low family status fell even further. Of course, as a sensible older sister, I didn’t find it hard to accept it and put myself in the position of a “seven-year-old” as much as possible.
From that time on, I studied very hard, because only after each test result did I get the brief attention of my parents and grandparents.
In fact, when my brother was a child, he was completely different from now. He was quite well behaved as a child, a bit like the younger brother in the second half of the film, very likeable and clingy to me. He always liked to follow me, whether crossing the street or walking up the steps, he always liked to tug on the corner of my coat and refused to let go.
My parents were busy and my grandmother was not well, so I spent most of my time with my brother before college.
I would worry about him getting cold in the winter, and I would worry about him getting too hot in the summer, and although I wasn’t too old at the time, I had been taught to think of him before myself in everything.
I always took this for granted, and I even thought that all the sisters in the world were like me.
With everyone’s concern, my brother grew up. He started to change, and I didn’t recognize him at all.
He didn’t like to study, couldn’t stand a bit of aggression, and couldn’t suffer a bit. His father often beat him up because of his bottom grades, but every time, he would hide behind his grandparents to seek refuge, and he succeeded every time.
(A long story is omitted here)
Okay, stop.
I don’t want to go on about the bad things that follow. I don’t want to turn myself into a nasty person like Mrs. Xianglin. Also, this article is a movie review and I don’t want to tell a negative and bad story to everyone.
In a nutshell, my life is: as a sister who also changed the course of her life because of the birth of her brother, although the plot of my body is not so bloody and idealistic as in the movie, but many scenes, many lines, many plots are my personal experience, too TM suffocating, my sense of immersion is too TM strong.
(——— calm divider)
Okay, let’s have some fun.
After all these years, things have gotten a lot better.
My mom and dad and I have reconciled to some extent, and I am very conscious that my brother’s life and my life don’t have to be tied together, he needs to be responsible for his own future, and so do I.
At this point, I feel like I’m in control of 99% of my life.
I’m trying to be 100%, and I believe I can do it.
I’m an adult and I shouldn’t blame everyone else for all the negative things I do, I should do what I can to make a difference, right?
I can proudly say that I have now jumped out of that terrible abyss and I want to run, to pursue freedom, and to embrace the life I want.
But, and I want to say this, BUT!
It took me very many years and very much time to get over these “sweet burdens” as the public calls them.
I don’t hate it, but please don’t force me to necessarily be grateful for it either!
I think it’s true that as a sister you should have to take responsibility at some point, but please don’t let that kidnap all those sisters who can’t take responsibility!
They are not at fault!
She! They! They’re not! No! Wrong!
In the middle of the film, the younger brother suddenly became an angel again, and Anran was touched by his cute, innocent, understanding brother, a deeper bond between the siblings, so in the subsequent choice, Anran suddenly changed the previous firm, tough, as the sister, she suddenly had hesitation, struggle.
But I very much want to ask the directors and writers ah–
Just because the brother is cute and understanding, all the harm can be easily erased?
The second half of the brother said those lovable (do) (work) lines, you pat your conscience, do you think a real child can say the words?
Have you investigated the real life of the real scrappy, uneducated, asshole brothers? Do you know how many sisters are still deep in the abyss who have no way to struggle out?
Because the younger brother suddenly became cute and understanding, everyone suddenly changed from passive to active commitment, holding hands together, embracing love, calling for love, year after year, time after time, generation after generation, jumping back into the abyss together again, and then comforting themselves that this tm is what sisters should do?
People who have not suffered in that patriarchal environment may not really understand why I am so angry because of a movie, and even less qualified to advise me not to be angry.
Since the birth of my brother, it seems that the meaning of my existence is just “to give my brother a good example”, I no longer have my own happiness, sadness, I am no longer an independent, three-dimensional individual.
I know there will be some barbarians reading these words will think I am pretentious, think I am fragile, think I am not tolerant enough, but, without his personnel, do not advise others to be good.
— These are also the words I would like to say to the director and screenwriter of this film.
You poke the pain points of society, poke the tear points of most people, poke happy, earn a lot of money, and then go away.
You expose all the injustice and filth, but in the end you still advise your sisters to take responsibility, to advise them to return to the “right path”, to generate electricity with love, to give selflessly.
Is there really anything positive and realistic about this kind of creation?
I don’t encourage the matter of having a second child, I don’t even encourage humans to have children.
I don’t want people to talk about the bitter “sacrifice” and “fulfillment”, and I don’t want to put some rightful responsibilities and obligations in front of the words father, mother, brother, sister, brother and sister.
I think that we as humans should take care of ourselves first and then take care of those we love.
I think anyone has the right to choose the life they want to live, and these rights are not “sister-brother”, “father-daughter” or “mother-daughter” enough to kidnap.
Most human beings actually do not have enough “emotional power” necessary to reproduce and educate their offspring, the terrible thing is that she / they do not realize that they are not capable enough, more terrible is that they are still desperately reproducing.
What we need is not to spill blood, not to stand in the center of the world and call for love, but to reflect, to reflect ah!
The whole process of watching the film, I was shaking in anger.
The only clip in the film that made me cry was that of the high-risk pregnant woman who had already given birth to two girls and was forced by her family to continue to spell a son.
Enron vociferously accuses them that this is a “murder” and questions why they are “continuing to have a boy when they already have two daughters”.
Thank goodness for Enron’s rant, because these are actually the words I used to want to say to my grandparents and my dad.
I even spent many years growing up asking myself: What’s wrong with me? Why don’t they like me? Why do they have to have another one? What did I do wrong?
The repeated struggle between self-blame and self-encouragement – this is something that sisters like me have to overcome throughout their lives.
This is not just a family problem, this is a social problem, this is not just a small problem, this is a heavy social problem that is happening all the time.
This kind of heavy should not be given to just one girl to bear.
This kind of heavy, should not be cheap “touched” to easily glorify away.
This kind of heavy, should not be drowned out by the voice calling for a second child.
The future is promising for sister Zifeng.
But this kind of “love power” movie that reveals people’s scars and then doesn’t hurt, I hope it won’t be made in the future!
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