Philip and I lived in Hong Kong for two years, from his 14th to 16th year. He was very interested in the topics of conversation I had with my friends.
One day, just after a group of friends had left, he said, “Mom, have you ever noticed the characteristics of one of your friends?” I said no.
He said, “It’s when they are about to ask me something and their eyes are looking at you and they are standing right in front of me, yet they address me in the third person ‘he’.”
I didn’t actually understand what he meant, but we proceeded to do an experiment. It was to observe the actions done the next time a friend came over. The result was this.
Professor A came in and I introduced him, “This is Professor A from the Chinese department, and this is my son Phillip.”
They shook hands. Then Professor A turned to me and asked, “What a handsome boy. Can he speak Chinese?”
I said, “Yes, I speak it well.”
Professor A asked, “How old is he?” Eyes on me.
I said, “15 years old.”
Professor A said, “What grade is he in?” Eyes on me.
I said, “Ask him.”
Then Professor A turned to look at Philip.
But before he could say a few words, he turned back, “How many languages does he know?”
Filippo looked at me with a snickering look on the side.
After this experiment happened, I became sensitive too. 16-year-old Philip, after we had done many experiments, once made this observation, he said, “Mom, I think the difference is that Europeans look at age, for example, in German schools, once you are 14 years old, the teacher has to use ‘you ‘ to address the student. No matter how old you are, as long as you stand next to your mother or father, you are a ‘child’, you have no status, no voice, and you are not the person they are talking to. That’s why he has his eyes on your mom or dad to ask questions, and it’s up to the ‘adults’ to advocate for you.”
I was really dumbfounded when Phillip made this summary.
After that, I would bend down to talk to my friend even if the child standing next to him was only as tall as a soy sauce bottle.
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