Lily is a free-spirited person, who only adheres to the three rules of “keeping Time, keeping promises and not causing trouble”, and otherwise lives her Life as she pleases. The same applies to the Education of her children, as she only sets out the broad framework and does not bother to manage the affairs of her two little girls in detail. Summing up what they usually say to them, there are actually these ten “Family rules” out, welcome to comment on them while they are hot.
1 must greet people first, by others any kindness and help must be expressed verbally or in writing to express gratitude, do give others trouble things must be on the spot to apologize.
2 Public places (except for places where you can play freely) speak at a volume that is controlled so that no third person can hear.
3 You can tell your mom only what you don’t want to tell your dad; you can tell your dad only what you don’t want to tell your mom. But you can’t say nothing to both.
4 No lying and cheating, or you will lose the most valuable trust of your friends and family, so you will regret your life.
5 If you can’t avoid a fight, no tools or teeth or poking your eyes, other than that you can hit hard and mom expects you to win.
6 You can pick up coins that fall on the ground and take them Home to save them, but you can’t keep your wallet for yourself.
7 If you don’t like the Food you are being offered, you can say “I’m full”, but never “it’s awful”.
8 All food and things are alive, so you should not eat them whenever you want and throw them away whenever you want.
9 Follow the advice of the group and authority when necessary, but always keep your own ideas inside.
10 Everyone is as different as his name looks, so there is no need to compare with others.
However, when you feel in danger and necessary, you can ignore each other, shout, lie, bite, poke people’s eyes, steal, break anything valuable, and not follow any rules you’ve ever heard of, because your life is more important than anything else.
Lily’s “house rules” are, of course, based on the overall environment and her own situation, so it is not necessary that you all agree. Now I think it is necessary to explain the reasons for this “family motto” to my friends thoroughly.
The first one is the opposite in Japan and China, the better the upbringing the higher the status the more modest the attitude of the people, the most typical representative of The Emperor and his wife. Lily although the two do not touch, but would rather lower themselves to the lowest position and all the people to interact, so that not only not be despised but also to more respect, in society also walk more lubricated. The most interesting thing is that once an old lady who met her for the first time asked Yuri “where is the lady of the house” and wanted to introduce a good Marriage to Yuri. When the topic was changed, Japan and China both talk about “reciprocity”, but the Chinese are concerned about keeping people’s kindness in their hearts and repaying them when they have the chance in the future. For example, when we go to a friend’s house, we usually bring a small gift, and when we leave, the friend will also hand us a small gift prepared. When friends and relatives have a wedding or a baby, we send a gift to show our appreciation, and the other party has to prepare a souvenir based on a fraction of the gift amount to return to the gift giver. Although the habit of returning the gift immediately may seem very foreign to the Chinese, it can save a lot of trouble later. As for apologizing, there is nothing to say, it is one of the basic rules of being a human being to apologize immediately for giving someone trouble. The problem, Lily definitely will not indulge them.
The second issue is the volume of speech in public, which is also a requirement for students in elementary schools. It’s really not easy for kids to do, which is why Lily has to constantly remind them to pay attention. The last time I went to a restaurant, there were a few junior high school girls laughing and joking loudly, making others very upset, because it was summer vacation, they did not wear school uniforms to dare to be so reckless. The waiter was afraid of offending the guests, no one to remind them, suddenly a “too much” like a thunderbolt from the sky rang through the restaurant, a few girls suddenly quiet down after no sound. Our family secretly applauded the old man in the next seat, thanking him for doing a great job for us all. Perhaps many Chinese people feel that The Japanese are xenophobic, for the first two polite questions, Lily and other Japanese like absolutely no compromise, as long as the Chinese who come to Japan crossed this line, the Japanese in the heart will immediately draw you out of bounds.
The third Lily in elementary school spring trip was a crazy old man hugged and kissed hard, and other female students were also harassed to varying degrees, the class teacher from the beginning to the end did not mention a word. Now it seems that it was just an encounter with a pervert, and at the time, due to shame and fear, not knowing who to talk to, Lily’s heart left a shadow for years. Nowadays, children are just as likely to be harassed, and most introverted children hide it in their hearts and slowly heal the best, leaving scars forever and those who can’t get past it. A single incident that is inappropriate for an adult may leave an unhealable wound on a child. So let your child know that whether it’s dad or mom, there will always be your closest and most trustworthy people, and the pain inside can be endured without having to be alone. Some problems may be encountered by mom and dad for the first time and cannot be solved so satisfactorily, but it is better to have Parents to share the pain together than to let the child suffer alone.
The fourth article believes that Lily does not need to explain much.
Article 5: The world of children is both innocent and beautiful, but also has a cruel side that is not hidden. Lack of adult protection of the world of children also have “the weak and the strong”, every day there are people bullying people, but also people being bullied. Lily’s junior high school was very dark because the most bullying boy in the class was assigned to be Lily’s tablemate. Lily refused to beg him for mercy and call him “big brother” like everyone else, and she couldn’t beat him, so every day she just put up with him and prayed to God to keep him away from her. In retrospect, I really should have fought him when I couldn’t stand it anymore, and solved the problem like a man. Although the strength is not as good as others, but the momentum of the girl’s fight is enough to scare the boys. If you want to fight, you have to fight hard, and only once without delay. In Japan in recent years bullying incidents in schools have gradually surfaced, causing a great deal of social concern. Most of the students who committed suicide after being bullied were intermittently bullied by a person or a group in school and could not bear it anymore. Anyway, the end result is suicide, why not just be bullied for the first time to endure when the life to fight, the result will certainly be much better.
Article 6 There are many people who don’t want to bend down and pick up the coins they dropped or don’t want to bother looking for them, so it’s better to return the coins to their value rather than letting them sleep in the dirt and grass forever. So Lily’s children asked their mother what to do after they found the coins, according to the education they received it was not practical to send it to the police, so Lily agreed that they could pick it up and take it home if they wanted to, to see how much power these little things that have little value can have after they are saved into a large pile. As for the wallet, the careless husband lost it twice in the mall, and it was sent to the service desk by people whose names were not known, and we were able to find one right away. Lily would never allow such an honest Japan to be destroyed by the hands of her own children.
Article 7 Japanese people rarely say “no” firmly, and when they do, they answer ambiguously. The reason why this ambiguous Japanese language has been passed down from generation to generation is that Japanese people do not listen to the words “yes” and “no” when judging the other person’s meaning, but judge their true meaning based on the other person’s face and tone of voice and the scene at that time. Japanese people who have super developed senses can “read the air” and those who cannot “read the air” are called KY and are not welcomed by the people around them. The phrase “I’ve had enough” is enough to politely reject the other person’s kindness without making them feel bad, and to clearly express your intention of not liking it.
Article 8 A large percentage of people in Japan are Buddhist, and the idea that people are equal to everything else permeates all aspects of life. In Japan, before eating, all people fold their hands and say “Ita-dakimasu”, which means “I’ll eat”, as a sign to start eating. At the end of the meal, you have to fold your hands again and say, “Gao-chi-go-sama de shita,” which means “I’m ready to eat. There is a deeper meaning of “I have eaten”, that is, the food in front of us has sacrificed its life to contribute to mankind, and we should express our gratitude before eating it, and we should eat it cleanly without wasting anything. Christian believers pray and thank God for the food before eating, while the Japanese thank God directly for each food item. In addition to food, I believe you have heard about the protection of the environment, and it is based on this concept of reverence for all things that Japan still retains its beautiful nature and splendid traditional Culture.
Article 9 Japanese people like to act collectively and listen to the leader’s opinion, and the leader of the small group is often rotated in order to reflect the equality of everyone. In order to communicate their opinions more smoothly when they are the leader, everyone has to cooperate with each other. Lily once went to dinner with 12 other kindergarten mothers and ordered 13 of the same set meals at the restaurant. Lily is actually an advocate of individual freedom, but because she lives in such a large environment, she will be looked at differently if she doesn’t go along with the crowd. So tell your child to listen to the collective and authority in order to be able to master relationships successfully, but inwardly you must keep your ego.
The tenth rule may not be shared by many Chinese, but it is the source of Lily’s happiness. Lily never gets involved in the rights and wrongs of mothers, and she doesn’t care how her family compares to others in terms of conditions, education, or the talents of her children. The children of Lily’s family were always peaceful, never envious of others, and never asked Lily for anything. Because it’s Peach and Asia, mom loves you unconditionally. Because we are all different, this world is so rich and interesting, life is so colorful.
A very bad and cruel abuse happened in Japan. A young single mother, who was obsessed with escorting men, kept her 3 and 1 year old children at home to cheat on themselves, without food and water, and starved them to death. The children died by banging on the wall and crying out for help, but the tragedy was caused by insufficient efforts to protect the children’s facilities. There is not much a three-year-old child can do, and the feeble power of instinctive pleas for help did not save his life. So Lily told the children that although your mother has told you so many rules, but if you are in danger, you can break all the rules, as long as you want to do anything you can do. In the event that you encounter bad people and danger alone, the only person who can protect you is yourself.
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