Life is not a fairy tale, no one is a princess waiting for a knight to save her life, if we want to escape the cave of the dragon, we need to fight and cut through the thorns ourselves.
Life is not a cake, it contains bitter melon and cilantro in addition to sweet cream and honey, and to taste it, we need to swallow it all together.
No one can completely control his or her own life. To be happy and prosperous inside, we need to know the trade-off between an enterprising mind and an ordinary mind.
In the world, some people seem to be born with the secret of happiness in their lives, some people suddenly become happy winners in life by overtaking the other half of the way, and some people think that life is full of thorns and puddles everywhere, or sink or struggle. So, what makes the difference in life? What makes some people comfortable with life? What makes some people a minority in the workplace? What allows some people to enjoy financial freedom? What makes someone the ideal parent for a child? In The Rules of Minimal Living / Tepler’s Rules of Life Series by Richard Tepler, the author summarizes his 30 years of life experience into one simple rule. It is shared with everyone who wants to live a life of ease.
Summary
Richard Teppler’s “The Rules of Minimal Living / Teppler’s Rules of Life Series” is a classic work by an author who, after observing and practicing the methods of many contented and consistently lucky people, divides our living universe into four spaces: with ourselves, with our partners, with our family and friends, and with our social circles, in order to make more people happy. On this basis, he summarizes the seemingly profound philosophies of life into 121 minimalist rules of living that we ordinary, everyday people can apply.
About the Author
Richard Templar.
Best-selling European and American author, known as a “personal growth” mentor.
According to incomplete statistics, more than 2.4 million people around the world are following the rules he advises.
Tepler has had a colorful life. In his 31-year career, he has worked in a variety of fields, in a variety of corporate roles, and now runs several companies in his own right. His personal success has led him to embark on a missionary journey to share his principles of success with the public.
Executive Summary:
Part 1 Personal Laws
Rule 1 Confidentiality
Don’t preach, don’t preach our opinions, don’t try to change people, don’t talk about it, and don’t even mention it. Change our attitude about life so that people will ask us what we have done or are doing. and we will radiate a warm glow. Just keep a low profile, and live each day in style.
Rule #2 Wisdom doesn’t necessarily increase with age.
Being kind to yourself when you mess up, being forgiving and accepting reality as you grow older without increasing your wisdom is an essential attitude to live by. Wisdom is not about not making mistakes, but about learning to keep your dignity and spirit intact after making a mistake. The point of being young is to have the opportunity to make mistakes and pave the way for the future.
Rule 3 Acceptance of Reality
Let go of resentment, regret, and anger, and acknowledge that it is the unpleasant past that makes us good, rather than denying its effects. Don’t label your experiences as “good” or “bad.” Some things are bad, but allowing them to affect us is really bad.
Rule #4 Accept yourself
All we have to do is accept ourselves as we really are. You and I, like everyone else, are ordinary people, which means we are complex individuals, full of desires, anguish, sins, occasional narrow-mindedness, mistakes, bad temper, rudeness, rebellion, hesitation, and even unpredictability, and this complexity is what makes human beings so wonderful.
There is no need to improve, change, or strive for perfection, on the contrary, just accept it.
Rule 5: Distinguish the Importance
There are some things in life that are important, and there are many things that are not. This doesn’t mean that we need to make a very detailed long-term plan, but rather that we need to know what we are moving toward, what we are doing, and that we need to keep our minds clear instead of living in chaos.
Rule #6: Establish a lifelong pursuit
To live with as much dignity as possible, to do as little harm as possible to others, and to treat others with neither humility nor arrogance, that’s what I want to do with my life.
Rule 7 Flexible Thinking
Don’t treat life as an enemy, treat it as a friendly sparring partner.
Rule #8 Focus on the Outside World
Successful Law players can engage in communication on almost any topic because they are aware of the latest developments, and we don’t have to have all the latest news, but we should have a general understanding of what is changing and happening around us or elsewhere.
Rule #9 Be on the side of the angels, not the devil.
No one tells us exactly what an angel is or what a devil is, and it’s not that hard to create a set of standards for ourselves. Are we creating a problem or solving a problem, and in doing so, will the situation improve or worsen? What is an angel and what is a devil depends on our own understanding. Every action we take affects our family, the people around us, the society we live in, and the world at large, and this can be beneficial or detrimental. Sometimes the choice is difficult, and we hesitate between our own desires and the interests of others, i.e., between personal satisfaction and generosity.
Rule 10 Only Dead Fish Go Downstream
If life is easy and simple, we lose the opportunity to learn to change and break through, if it’s only sunny, we soon get bored, if it’s not raining, we don’t enjoy the joy of going back to the beach when it stops raining, if everything goes right, we don’t get stronger, so we should be grateful that life is hard. And realizing that only dead fish go downstream, to survive we must struggle against the waterfalls and dams and rivers. We have no choice but to keep going if we want to stay alive, and every swing of the tail and fins makes us stronger, fitter and happier.
Rule 11 Don’t shout easily
Yelling and screaming is a sign of losing self-control. Calm people live longer.
Rule 12 Be your own advisor.
Each of us has a source of wisdom deep within us, and his name is intuition, and listening to your intuition is a slow learning process. Listening is not about listening to all the thoughts in our head, not all the random thoughts are worth listening to. Listening is a calmer, fainter voice that is more like a rather than a voice.
Rule #13 Don’t be afraid, don’t be surprised, don’t hesitate, don’t doubt.
Once you have made up your mind, don’t think about it again and again, don’t think too much, start enjoying life, relax, let go, don’t worry, tomorrow will come. We must be confident and determined to follow the path we have chosen, without questioning whether we are doing the right thing or not, and without hesitation as to whether we will succeed. We must have complete trust in our own judgment and persevere.
Rule #14 Turn Regret into Motivation, Seize Future Opportunities
Some people are jealous when they see the accomplishments of others, while others use them as motivation.
Rule 15: It’s okay to give up.
If the world is reminding us that we’re going in the wrong direction, it’s time to be honest and admit it, and then go a different way. No one is good at everything, sometimes you have to try to know if you will succeed, and sometimes we may not be the right fit for a particular field. When we give up in the right way at the right time, we show not weakness, but fortitude.
Rule #16 Count to ten, or recite a poem or a song.
Once I recovered my senses and calmed down, I was able to find an appropriate response.
Rule #17 Change what we can change and let go of what we can’t.
If someone comes to us directly for help, we can help or not, it’s our choice, and if the whole world comes to me for help, there’s only so much we can do. Blaming ourselves is not only counterproductive, it’s a waste of time. We need to recognize what things we have the power to change and what things we will never be able to change.
Usually the only person we can influence is ourselves, and the only person we can really change is ourselves.
Rule #18 Strive to do your best in everything you do.
All we have to do is consciously think about what we are doing and strive to be the best at it. The secret to this is to find out for ourselves what we are doing and set some sort of standard, in short, set simple, achievable goals and make sure we know the best and second best standards.
Rule #19 Don’t Aim for Perfection
Let’s reject this perfectionism in striving to be the best while acknowledging that this goal cannot be achieved every time, just as with gemstones – flaws make them unique, flaws devalue them, but it is the flaws that prove they are true gems.
Rule #20 Don’t be afraid to dream
Don’t limit dreams, we can have them, no matter how unattainable, outrageous, grandiose, impractical, irrational, insane, stupid, eccentric, or irrational they may be. The most successful people are often those who dare to dream. Plans need to be practical, but dreams don’t.
Rule 21: Think twice before you act.
Rule 22 Don’t Dwell on the Past
Don’t waste too much time in the old room, live in the now, in the here and now.
Rule 23 Don’t live in the future.
By cherishing what we have now, while still dreaming and accomplishing our plans, we will be happier than if we always look to the future and think as if there is happiness there. Dreams are wonderful, and so is reality.
Rule #24 Time flies, take action!
Action must be taken, but without a goal and a plan, we can easily muddle through life.
Rule #25 Keep it together!
No matter what the law is, once you decide to follow it, try to stick to it as long as you can. It makes no sense to choose a path that we will leave at will.
Rule #26 Dress each day as if it were an important day
Rule 27: Have your own belief system
Any faith will do, as long as it sustains us in difficult times to answer our questions about life and our meaning in the vast universe, and makes us feel comfortable.
We don’t have to prove it to anyone to demonstrate our faith. We can think alone and build our beliefs when conditions allow.
Rule 28 Give yourself a little space every day.
We need time to recharge and rejuvenate ourselves. This time is simple, free, and pure.
Rule 29 Have a Plan
If we don’t have a plan, wishes will always be wishes.
Rule #30 Have a sense of humor
The best way to let go is through humor, self-deprecation, and laughing at our circumstances, but never laugh at others. Never laugh at others. See the funny side of life, no matter what it throws at us.
Law 31 Believe in Cause and Effect
Everything must be done with a clear conscience.
Rule #32 Life can be a little like an advertisement.
You must keep trying and not give up just because of one or two setbacks, because we don’t know which of the setbacks are unimportant.
Rule 33: Get out of your comfort zone.
It may be as simple as volunteering to do something that we have never done before and that makes us slightly nervous. Getting ‘out of our comfort zone’ will help us become more confident.
Rule 34: Learn to ask questions
Keep asking yourself why you think you are right or wrong, why you want to do certain things, why you want certain things? Follow a step and be rigorously introspective, because no one else will be introspective for you, and we need to be introspective.
Rule 35: Maintain Respect
All successful people have a sense of maintaining dignity. By maintaining dignity, it means that they are strong inside and know who they are? What do you want? There is no need to brag and boast about your status and accomplishments.
It is important to remain calm, behave with dignity, not follow the crowd, be polite and considerate, and be a person that others look up to. It’s important to keep a sense of proportion and not make yourself look vulgar or uninteresting.
Rule #36: Mood swings are okay.
We have to make sure that we let our emotions out at the right time and in the right place, within our control.
Rule 37 Keep the Faith
A sense of righteousness, loyalty, trust, pride, honesty, reliability, perseverance, insight, these are precious.
Rule 38: There is always something we don’t understand.
Human beings are but a drop in the ocean of the universe. Life is a big saw, and we can only touch the bottom left corner of it, and then we will come to a conclusion like a blind man touching an elephant, which is far from the truth, and we will realize that it is a big saw and not what we thought it was.
Letting go when it’s time, and knowing that we will never know everything, gives us peace of mind.
Rule 39 Know Where True Happiness Comes From
Happiness is hidden in our bodies.
Rule 40 Life is a Piece of Pizza
Life is like a slice of pizza, with the good and the bad on top. The best things in life are always accompanied by, unchewy dried tomatoes and olives. There is no point in complaining about them, either throw them away or swallow them in one bite and then savor the taste of summer.
Rule 41 There is a person or animal who is willing to see us.
Having a person or animal who is willing to see us is important because it gives us a sense of being needed, gives us purpose in our lives, keeps us from caring only about ourselves, and will urge us to live our lives to the best of our ability.
Rule 42 Know When to Let Go and When to Leave
If love is dead, don’t check every five minutes to see if he still has a pulse. If love is dead, then leave.
Rule 43 Retaliation leads to escalation of conflict
A person who cuts down our trees and steals our ideas is not going to go along with our little acts of revenge. Sometimes it’s better to do nothing and say nothing.
Rule 44 Take care of yourself.
We are the captain of the ship, and if we get sick, who will drive? We’re a ship. We’re adults now, and it’s all up to us. Growing up is wonderful, and we can party all night if we want, or we can choose to take care of ourselves.
Rule 45 Always Be Polite
Humility is charming, and it costs nothing to be polite to inspire a lot of goodwill and make all people’s lives happier.
Rule #46 Clean up frequently
The Great Cleansing Council rejuvenates us and makes us aware of what we are collecting. Discarded items can affect our emotions and many places will become more and more cobwebby.
Rule 47 Remember to return to your roots
The Source is going back to the beginning and making a plan. The source is where we were before we got lost.
Rule #48 Setting Personal Boundaries
Successful people know their own value and are not confused by others. The more certain we are of our own boundaries, the harder it is for others to influence us. We are entitled to basic self-respect, and if we don’t respect ourselves, we can’t expect others to respect us. We know exactly what we will and won’t accept, and once someone crosses the line, it’s very easy to say, “I don’t want you to talk to me like that.
Rule #49: Focus on Quality, Not Price
If you can’t afford it, don’t buy it, wait until you make enough money, and if you have to buy it, buy the best you can afford.
Rule #50 You can worry, or you can know how not to worry.
Rule 51 Staying Young
Being young means trying new things, not complaining, not talking about what older people would say, choosing conservative options, and moving with the times. Staying young means trying new tastes, new resorts, and new styles.
Rule 52: Money isn’t everything.
Spending money doesn’t solve the problem, it just postpones it from happening again.
Rule 53 Independent Thinking
If we also have unique ideas, we are more respected and appreciated.
Rule 54 Sometimes we are not in charge
Just because we’re not the general director of the play Life doesn’t mean that everyone else is, or maybe we’re all on the same runaway, out-of-control, train without a driver, or maybe there actually is a driver. We are just the audience, so enjoy the play!
Rule #55 Have something that makes us forget our troubles
Illness has a piece of music that makes us feel good, but what good is it if we don’t play it once in a while?
Rule 57: If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
The Second Law of Love
We all need to love and be loved. Most of us want comfort and intimacy from a relationship, we are not islands, we all need to share our joys and sorrows with someone close to us.
Rule 58: Seek common ground while reserving differences
Rule 59 Give the Other Half Space to Be Themselves
We often fall in love with people who are independent, strong, self-disciplined, and rich in experience. But once we get together with this person, we can’t help but want to change them. We need to encourage our partner to step out of the space where there is only each other to rediscover their own energy and vitality.
Rule 60: Be Polite and Friendly
Be concerned about each other’s health, interests, dreams, hopes, workload, interests, and joys.
Rule 61 What we want to do
The more freedom we have to give permission and encouragement, the greater the likelihood that we will receive a response from the other half.
Rule 62: Be the First to Apologize
We can both apologize and retain our dignity.
Rule 63 Go the extra mile to make the other person happy.
Consider making arrangements in advance to let him know how special he is to me and how much I care about him.
Rule 64 Know When to Listen and When to Act
Often we just need to sit and listen. What he needed was a sympathetic listener, a shoulder to cry on. A response of, “Oh, you must be so sad,” and my full attention.
Rule 65: Be passionate about your life together.
We are committed to the happiness of another human being.
Rule 66: There is love in sex
We need to consider the needs of our partner, while taking care of our own feelings, and have the right to privacy and respect in our relationships.
Rule 67: Talk more
Rule 68 Respect for Privacy
Rule 69 Ensure common goals
Rule 70 Treat your partner better than your best friend.
Rule 71 Contentment is Hard
Happiness is just that, an illusion, something that takes too much time and pursues too hard to be worth the effort. Like pain, happiness is a state of extremes. Contentment is when the passion recedes and we return to the simple life of ease and happiness and the goals we hope to achieve.
Rule #72 The Laws Don’t Have to be the Same
Article 3: Rules of Family and Friends
Rule 73: Be a good friend.
The most important thing is companionship, and not just in good times.
Rule #74 Don’t be so busy that you don’t have time for the ones we love!
The more we invest in our relationships, the more we will gain.
Rule #75 Let children solve problems on their own, they don’t need any help from us!
We cannot always take control of the direction for them, or they will never learn on their own.
Rule 76 Respect and Forgive Our Parents
Everyone has areas in life that they are not good at or are not interested in. We have an obligation to respect our parents, to treat them well, and by forgiving them and surpassing them without judgment, we can completely escape the negative influences of our own upbringing.
Rule 77: Give Your Child a Chance
Whatever the kids want to do? None of us should sabotage her dreams, discourage them from expressing concerns or limit her aspirations, but rather provide encouragement and support while guiding them and providing them with the resources they need to achieve their aspirations. It doesn’t matter if they succeed or not, the opportunity to try is all that matters.
Rule #78 Don’t lend money freely
We don’t have to lend anything to anyone. If we do, be prepared to write it off, otherwise don’t borrow it.
Rule 79 Remain Silent
Not only should we think twice before forming our own opinions, but we should also remain silent about the choices of others because we cannot judge the circumstances in which they find themselves, and we cannot directly tell even our closest ones what to do. Think about how we feel when others try to tell us what to do.
Rule 80 There are no bad children.
We can’t change the bad kids, but we can change the bad behavior.
Rule #81 Showing Positivity in Front of Those We Love
Someone has to carry the load and lift the morale to dispel the blues.
Rule 82 Let the child take responsibility
As they become adults, we need to gradually step back and let them take on more responsibility.
Rule 83 Children need to argue with us to leave the house
We can say to our teenage children, don’t upset Mom and Dad too much, they feel just as threatened by this new relationship as we do, give them a chance and they will repair their relationship with us in the future, just as we did.
Rule #84 Kids will always have a few friends we don’t like.
It is good to play with our children and other children who test our patience.
Rule 85 Our Role as Children
Parents on the Department of English to treat them well need care, someone to listen to them, value them, and on the other hand, they will try out for a babysitter. We have an obligation to be polite, considerate, patient, and cooperative with our parents.
Rule 86 Our Role as Parents
Title IV Social Laws
Rule 87 We are closer than we think.
There are very few differences between all of us when the decorations are removed.
Rule 88: Learn to forgive
Tolerance does not mean putting up with being bossed around.
Rule 89: Helpfulness
The key to everything is to think of the good in others every day, to smile first and see where others may need help, rather than rushing past them.
Rule 90: Consider what’s in it for others
We get what we want, and others feel rewarded.
Rule 91 Hanging Out with Positive and Optimistic People
If we want to be successful in life, work and socially, we have to know that there are two types of people: those who inspire us, who are energetic and enthusiastic about life, who do what they say they will do, and who make us feel good to be alive, and those who are whiny and can make us as negative as they are, and we should not be with the second type of people if we want to achieve our goals and live happily.
Rule 92: Don’t be stingy with our time and knowledge.
In fact, the most successful people in life always want to pass on their knowledge to others, so they can stand on their shoulders. If we have a special talent or skill, please pass it on.
Rule 93: Participation
Getting involved means rolling up your sleeves and doing it yourself, and in the process we get a real-life experience volunteering, mentoring, and mentoring school administrators. Getting out is about making a difference or sharing an interest.
Rule #94 Maintain High Morals
Retaliation is something that only losers do, and establishing and maintaining nobility is the only way to become a Law Player.
Rule 95 Just because we have suffered does not mean that others must suffer.
Resentment will only make our lives worse.
Rule 96: Be Good at Comparing
The best way to set a goal is to use someone we respect as a standard. We can see the gaps in ourselves and see that the goal is achievable.
Rule 97 Developing a Career Plan
Successful people have drive, and if they’re not naturally driven, they develop it later in life, they pretend to be driven, if we want to understand it that way, but the very act of pretending to be driven gets them to act. Work will make us better.
Rule 98 Consider the long-term impact of the work we depend on for a living.
Rule 99: Do your job well
Focus on your work and do your best.
Don’t just think about improving yourself, care about how you can improve together, think about us and not me.
Try to spread happiness, don’t badmouth people, protect the weak, praise people from the heart, stay away from gossip and gossip, keep your opinions to yourself, and show some detachment.
Dress nicely and try to make a good impression. Try to be kind to your colleagues, know your limits, know how to say no seriously, don’t let people take advantage of our good nature, don’t be obsequious, love your work, be passionate, have fun.
Rule 100 Know the harm you cause
All our lives we need to keep our eyes open, stay awake, and know what we are doing. and the impact we have on our surroundings and environment.
Rule 101 Strive to represent honor, not shame.
Let’s go beyond ourselves, let’s strive for perfection, let’s progress, challenge us, encourage us in a good way, let’s overcome our nature, let’s stand in the light of all the things that represent glory.
Rule 102 Assist in solving problems, not creating them
You know, if we don’t take some action, this world, this beautiful planet we live on, will be destroyed.
Rule 103: Consider what history will say about us
Rule 104: Not everything can be environmentally friendly.
Not everyone can be as environmentally friendly as we would like to be.
Law 105 Giving Back to the World
If we give back to the world, we will sleep better at night.
Rule 106: Find a new rule every day or at least occasionally.
Becoming a rule player requires hard work, tenacity and passion, persistence, and persistence, and our lives will be full, happy and efficient, but be tolerant of the fact that all of us have our failures, nobody is perfect, enjoy the process, have fun, and live your life well, that’s all.
The Fifth Rule of Happiness
Rule 107 The Long View
We know that no matter how bad things get, it’s never too bad if we have the support of our friends, are aware of the happiness we have, have our own belief system, and like to keep ourselves busy and do things we like to do.
Don’t ask, “Am I happy now?” but rather, “Am I happy overall?”
Rule 108 Do what you are good at.
To be happy, we need to spend as much time as possible on things that we can be proud of.
Rule 109 Like Yourself
Despite the things we do or regret, we still deserve to like ourselves. Liking ourselves doesn’t mean making everyone think we’re perfect.
Rule 110: Change your perspective.
The next time you can’t help but feel sad, try a different perspective.
Rule 111 Self-Improachment
Happiness is a belief, and we can choose that belief.
Rule 112 Bringing Different Circles Together
When in a difficult situation, it is extremely important to live a diverse life. Different circles bring different elements of joy to the table. Don’t devote all your time to work, your children’s studies, or anything else.
Rule 113: Divert your attention
Change your thinking, and you can change your mood.
Rule 114 Know who you value.
We need to be clear about who our safety net is made up of, and even if we don’t need them, we need to appreciate them and let them know how much we value them and the love and friendship they have for us.
Strong, relationships with our partner’s parents and siblings will help us through even the most painful journeys of life.
Rule 115 Breaking Down Barriers
As we mature, we should know that the obstacles that prevent us from being happy come from within us.
Rule 116: Take Control of Your Life
There will always be another option, no matter how bleak its outlook.
Episode 6: If You’re Not Done Yet
About Wealth
Anyone can be rich – you just have to work for it!
I have observed many extremely wealthy people who have nothing in common except that they are all rules players.
Related Work
Let your work be appreciated
Adhere to the following principles: occasionally submit similar reports to ensure that your report is effective, productive, or profitable; make sure your name is prominently displayed to ensure that your boss can see the report and your boss’s boss can see it; it doesn’t have to be in the form of a report, it can be an article in an internal newsletter.
Break out of your work routine, get your boss’s attention, and stand out.
About Management
Get others emotionally invested in the work
Convince your employees that their work is really making a difference in the world.
About Parenting
Relax!
Good parents are able to accept their children as noisy, messy, active, and dirt-covered, and they accept them in all their true states.
About Love
Be Yourself
If you put on a disguise, you will attract people who are not right for you, and what good is that? Maybe somewhere else there is someone who is really right for you, who is willing to put up with all your faults, who sees that your faults are not faults at all, who sees your unique and true charm, who is the right person for you, and who will show your true self from now on.
Preface
As a child, I lived with my grandparents for a few years, and there were complex reasons for this. Like many of their contemporaries, they were hardworking and contented. My grandfather took early retirement after a workplace accident (a brick car broke one of his feet), and my grandmother worked in a large department store in London. My sudden arrival obviously disrupted their daily routine. I wasn’t old enough to go to school, and my grandmother couldn’t count on my grandfather to look after me at home (in those days, men didn’t look after their children, which is a radical change when you think about it now). Her solution was to hide me and take me to work with her.
Working with “Grandma” was interesting. I was told to be quiet and not move for long periods of time. I didn’t know how the other kids spent their day, but I thought it was normal at the time. I found that I had a lot of fun observing the customers – usually from under a big table, which was my safe corner. So, I was born with a strong interest in observing people.
Later, I went back to live with my mother. She said that observing people would never make me successful. I wasn’t sure about that. You see, early in my career, observation of the people around me showed that some people would be promoted because of a series of distinctive behaviors. For example, if two people of equal ability thought and acted as if she had already been promoted, one of them would get the vacant position at the next level. By putting these observed behaviors into practice, I was able to move up the career ladder quickly. These “rules” also became the basis for my two books, The Rules of Work and The Rules of Management, which are now best sellers of their kind.
Just as you find behaviors in the workplace that lead to easy promotions for some people, the same is true in life. In life in general, people fall into two categories: those who seem to have the knack of succeeding in life, and those who still find it hard to be winners. By success, I don’t mean accumulating a lot of wealth or reaching the top of a stressful industry, but in a way that my hardworking grandparents could understand. People in this category are content with their lives, basically happy every day, and in good health and colorful life. People who have difficulty achieving success are often not as happy, and for them, life is not as good as it should be.
So, what’s the secret? The answer can be boiled down to a simple choice. Every day we have a choice to do certain things, some of which make us unhappy and some of which make us happy. Observing others, I’ve deduced that by following a few basic “rules of life” we can accomplish more, get out of trouble more easily, and enrich our lives and bring happiness to those around us. People who follow these rules seem to have good luck all the time. They create an atmosphere of joy, are enthusiastic about life, and take care of problems well.
So, what I have presented in this book are my “rules for living”. They are not rigid, mysterious, or difficult to follow. These rules are based solely on my observations of happy and successful people. I’ve noticed that happy people follow most of the rules, and that the people who seem sullen are the ones who don’t follow them. Moreover, successful people don’t even realize what they are doing; they are natural born rule players. But people who are naturally less capable often feel like they’re missing something, and spend their lives searching for something that they think will magically make sense of their lives or fill a void inside them. But the answer is right in front of them, and all they need is a small change in their behavior.
Is it really that simple? Of course not. It is never easy to obey the law. If it were that easy, we would have done it a long time ago. It has to be difficult to be worthwhile. But each individual law is simple and easy to do – and that’s the beauty of the laws. You can hesitate to try to satisfy all of them, or you can pick one or two of them and start with them. Me? I’ve never done it all. I fall down as often as anyone, but I know what I need to do to get back up.
By watching others, I realize that all of these “rules for life” are wise. Personally, I like the advice that starts with “calmly ……”, but I don’t know how to do it. But the “shine your shoes before you go out” advice makes more sense to me because it’s something I can do and, more importantly, because I can see the logic immediately. By the way, I still think that shined shoes make a better impression.
In fact, you won’t find rules like shoe shine in this book, nor will you find content that is inspiring or relevant to the new century. Of course, that doesn’t mean they aren’t important, just that I think practical advice is better than uplifting clichés – like, time is medicine, or love conquers all – because I think practical advice is better than uplifting clichés. In my opinion, when you really want to do something, clichés don’t do much to get you moving.
What you’re about to read is solid old-school common sense, nothing you don’t already know. This book is not a mystery, but a reminder. It is a reminder that the “rules of life” are universal, obvious, and unpretentious. Let’s live by them, they work.
The beauty of all of this is that it comes down to personal choice whether or not to apply these rules. Every day we have to choose whether to be on the side of the angels or the devil. The “rules of life” will help you choose to be on the side of the angels, but they are not necessary. Personally, when I go to bed at night, I take a quick summary. I want to be able to say to myself, “Well, good day, well done,” and be proud of my accomplishments, not sorry, and not dissatisfied with my actions and my life. I want to go to bed with the feeling that I played a role, didn’t hurt anyone else, sowed some joy, had a good time, and am of good character.
This book is not about making a lot of money and achieving great success. It is more concerned with how we feel on the inside, the impact we have on those around us, our roles as friends, partners, and parents, and even the impact we have on the world and what we will leave behind.
Sometimes I feel a bit like my children with my books. I’ll pat them on the head, wipe their noses clean, and send them out into the world. I want to know what feedback the outside world is giving them. So, if this book has influenced you, or if you have a rule or two of your own that I haven’t used that you’d like to share, you’re always welcome to write to me.
Highlights (or snippets of test reading)
Rule 3 Acceptance of Reality
Everyone makes mistakes, sometimes even big ones, but they are often not intentional, nor are they personal. Sometimes, people just don’t know what they are doing. That is, if someone has treated us badly in the past, it’s not necessarily because they were intentionally evil, but because they were just as naive, stupid, and human as the rest of us. They made mistakes in raising us or breaking up with us, not because they wanted to, but because they didn’t know what to do.
If we want, we can let go of our resentments, regrets, and anger, and acknowledge that it is these unpleasant past events that make us good, rather than deny their usefulness. It’s done, but life goes on. Don’t label your experiences as “good” or “bad”. I know that some things are bad, but the real “bad” is when we let them get to us. We can keep them inside and let them affect our mood and health, keeping us resentful and in the shadows. We can also try to let them go, let them shape our character, and see them as positive rather than negative, helping us grow.
In theory, I had a very abnormal childhood. There was a time when I was filled with resentment. I blamed my strange upbringing for my physical weakness, mental depression, and stunted growth. But when I realized that this was the end, and that I could choose to forgive and move on with my life, things got much better. Not all of my siblings chose this way. Resentment continues to build up in them until it eventually overwhelms them.
It was important for me to let go of the past. If I wanted to get more out of life, I had to accept the unpleasant past as an important part of myself and move on. In fact, I hope they will help me manage my life in the future and become an indispensable source of nourishment for my growth. Now, even if I had the chance, I wouldn’t change anything that happened in the past. Yes, looking back my childhood was indeed full of hardships and difficulties, but it was the experience that made me who I am today.
I think that change happened when I realized that even if I let the people who treated me badly stand up to me again, they still wouldn’t be able to make up for their mistakes. I could shout at them and vent my grievances to them, but they would still be unable to make amends and right the wrongs of the past. They may also have to accept that there is no way back for each other, only forward. Think of it as a life motto: Keep moving forward.
Rule 4: Accept yourself
If we accept the past, we can be honest with ourselves about who we really are. We can’t go back and change anything, so we must accept the present for what it is. I am not suggesting that we respond to a new age call like “Love Yourself”, which is too big a slogan. Let’s start with simple acceptance. Acceptance is the acceptance that we don’t have to improve, change, or strive for perfection; on the contrary, acceptance is good.
It means accepting our flaws, mood swings, vulnerabilities, and other imperfections. But it doesn’t mean we have to be satisfied with every aspect of ourselves. What we need to do is accept ourselves as we really are and work on that. We can’t beat ourselves up for some of the bad aspects. There are many changes we can make, and I will mention them in the next section.
This must be a rule, because we have no other choice in the matter. We have to accept who we really are and what we have been through has made us who we are, and that is all. You and I, like everyone else, are ordinary people. This means that we are complex individuals, full of desires, anguish, sins, occasional narrow-mindedness, mistakes, bad tempers, rudeness, rebellion, hesitation, and even unpredictability. It is this complexity that makes human beings so wonderful.
Recent Comments