Last night I had dinner with a friend who owns a nursing Home, I asked him how much the nursing home charges, he said the standard is different, but a month must also charge a 5-digit, they are positioned more high-end.
I couldn’t help but sigh, the rich old man’s money is so easy to earn.
I said you charge so much a month, the services you provide can be worth the price?
My friend hesitated and said that this issue is not easy to say, can spend money to buy the infrastructure we are sure to do a good job, but it should be said not to say it, many things are not money can solve.
Think about it, the real experience of the elderly is from how expensive the bed facilities are perfect, in fact, no, the real experience comes from the people.
One is between the elderly and the elderly, the elderly also need to socialize, the elderly in nursing homes will quarrel with each other, will gang up, the old man will fight for the old lady jealousy, this is still a small problem.
Another more important thing is that the spirit of service of the caregivers is a big problem, not the problem of abuse, there is monitoring in general do not dare to bully the elderly, but who they give priority to care, neglect who, deliberately lead others to isolate who, these things will directly affect the quality of Life of the elderly.
I said you open a nursing home you do not care?
He said even if I want to manage, I can manage it?
Don’t look at these elderly people to the nursing home 20,000 to 30,000 a month, we also need to run the cost, back a million steps to say that I also want to make money, can give to the hands of the caregiver is not a few thousand dollars a month.
Can you expect these caregivers who receive a few thousand dollars a month to really serve each elderly person as their own father?
There is no filial son at the bedside of a long illness.
I said that you can not give more?
I found that many private kindergartens charge more than nursing homes, and the teachers in them are paid less than our caregivers.
I don’t dare to expect these teachers to take good care of my child for this amount of money, it’s their duty to take good care of them, and it’s their duty to not take care of them.
As long as there are no problems with the children’s safety, what else can I ask the kindergarten teachers to do?
The old people give more money to the nursing home, I give a lot of money to the kindergarten, but you caregivers or teachers are also workers, you can not expect people to get 5000 yuan to do 50000 work, I want to have this ability to open what nursing home.
He drank a mouthful of wine and sighed, saying, “So we still have to have children, raising children for the elderly is still necessary.
I said you have a problem with this word, caregivers will not take care of the elderly, but your own children can be better?
Even if they are really filial, it does not mean that they can always take care of you, but you said, “no filial son at the bedside for a long Time“, your children will have their own things in the future and The Family will be busy, can take care of you for a year, but can also manage you for five or ten years?
The friend laughed, I do not expect my children to take care of me, I am sure I will go to a nursing home when I am old.
The point of a child’s existence is that the very existence of a child is a deterrent.
It’s a safeguard that keeps you from being at the bottom of the chain of other people’s attention. Having children doesn’t necessarily make your old age better, but at least it allows you to live a life that isn’t too bad.
I didn’t quite understand it, and he gave me a speech that made me break out in a cold sweat.
He said one thing I had discovered since opening the nursing home was that it was a semi-closed environment with little outside opinion or moral oversight, except for the children of the elderly in the nursing home who would come to visit.
And because the elderly need to rest, most nursing homes do not welcome visits from uninvolved people, so the question arises, in such a small society almost isolated from the outside world, in addition to the basic laws, what is the law that works, is it goodness and light?
No.
It is the law of the jungle of the weak and the strong.
What it means to be weak and what it means to be strong in a nursing home is not about how much status you had in society when you were young and how much money you made, but about whether someone will come after you if they bully you.
At this stage of life, you will lose contact with most of your social connections.
When you are old, your classmates, friends and colleagues are almost in the nursing home, some may also have been in the urn, in addition to your children, you were bullied after who can help you find the back account? Who will be able to help you to find the blame? From other nursing homes over the wall to help you out? Or will you send a dream to the person who bullied you?
Don’t ask me if there are cameras in the nursing home, this is a human problem, not an equipment problem.
First, cold violence you count as bullying, and in the nursing home for a long time caregivers have a thousand kinds of cameras to leave no evidence of ways to get you into trouble, and are not looking for trouble, ignore your needs on it.
Second, the camera also needs someone to transfer records to make sense, the management of the nursing home is certainly more than one thing, in addition to your own children, who else will be willing to help you to transfer records.
I say a reason, you do not say I am cold-blooded.
For those of us who run nursing homes, do we really care if the elderly are happy? We only care about whether the elderly are safe and alive, because as long as the elderly live we can collect money, even if they die, do not die in my home.
At this point you see, if you don’t have children, who can you tell when you encounter something in the nursing home?
You and the caregiver conflict or conflict with other elderly people, most of the time you can not solve their own, you can only seek external power, this time there are children you have external help, even if this external help is not necessarily filial, not necessarily will step in, but if you do not have children, you will be isolated.
I said, “What if the child is not a person? What if the child does not give you a head?
He slapped the table and said I don’t need him to step up, I just need him to exist.
This backing is not for you to rely on, but for others to see, it does not matter if you can rely on it, the key is to exist, because his existence itself can make others weigh the consequences.
I still have children outside, you will have trouble with me bad, we are afraid of trouble.
This is a constraint.
Your body is no longer able to take care of itself, but your thinking consciousness is not yet to the point of insensibility, you can know very clearly that you are being bullied or even insulted, you are aggrieved and angry, but you have no recourse.
Who can you turn to for help? You don’t have children or stable social contacts, you are as helpless as a child being bullied at school.
Even calling the police is useless. How do you think the police can manage this?
Maybe you saved a lot of money by not having children, maybe you still have lots and lots of money until this time, but you can’t even find someone to help you spend it.
Money can solve a lot of problems when you’re young, but at some point you’ll find that money can’t even solve the problem of dignity, and the only thing that can solve this problem is blood ties.
He hiccuped and continued, “I really don’t think blood ties have any magical power, and I’m not sure my own children will still love me when I’m old, but it doesn’t matter because his existence will also be monitored by society.
Maybe he’s not necessarily a good son, but he certainly doesn’t want people to know he’s an ungrateful son, so even if he’s pretending, he has to pretend to be minimally protective of me, and I do mean minimally.
I’ve really seen a lot of things in this nursing home, and I’m not asking for much.
In addition, he even for his own face, have to be slightly concerned about my self-esteem.
I can see, this nursing home in fact and kindergarten is not much different, children have a father and mother, even if he was in their own home by their own Parents beat up to fly up, but in kindergarten he is able to straighten up, because he has someone to tell, because others know that bullying him will have consequences.
But children without parents, I do not say that others will not bully him, the teacher will not ignore him, but even if a classmate said he was a child without parents, he is the same as being bullied.
They didn’t hit him or scold him, but how can he feel better?
I pay to send my children to kindergarten, but also to compliment the kindergarten teacher a few thousand dollars a month, you think it is why, is not because when people are not able to protect themselves, anyone around you may be legitimate persecution?
He didn’t do anything against the rules, you can’t get any leverage on him, but he just can make you very uncomfortable.
You are now an elderly person in a nursing home, you want to eat something, other elderly people raised the caregiver immediately went to get it, you said the caregiver said he had things to do to make you wait.
You have mobility problems, and the caregiver said you want to go to the toilet, the caregiver pretended not to hear, heard also said you have to wait, and then go to do other things, after a half hour to take care of you.
Or casually pointing a finger at a broken old thing, not even saying who it is, but you know.
Many things are not very hurtful, but extremely insulting.
Adults slap small children in public, they also think they did nothing wrong, they do not care about the self-esteem of small children, they feel that children do not yet have self-esteem.
These same adults, they will not care what the elderly say, they think the elderly have no self-esteem.
But in reality, children have the same self-esteem.
It’s just that no one listens to what they say.
Many old people are only physically challenged, but they still think clearly. They certainly have self-esteem, and because they have lost the need for most material pleasures in their world, their self-esteem becomes even stronger than it used to be.
It’s just that it doesn’t matter what they say.
The only people children can seek help from are their parents, who have no established relationship with the world in the first place, and only have the initial and most recent relationship with mom and dad.
The only people the elderly can seek help from are their children, whose relationships in the world have been gradually severed by time, leaving only the ultimate and most intimate relationship with their children.
This relationship may be weak and unreliable, but it is the last leverage they have when they play the game with nursing homes, with other elderly people, with caregivers, and with the world.
If even this relationship is gone, they will have nothing left, no cards to play, and they will lose the initiative completely.
Whether they can live the rest of their lives as individuals depends only on whether the strangers around them can be individuals.
When you’re young, money can be exchanged for everything.
But when you are old, money is really just money.
Have you ever felt that when you were a child, your parents were strong to you, and when you reached your present age, they were actually weak to you? The game is really all over the place.
I’m not urging you to give birth, birth or not is your own choice, aging is the future after all, the future of things who can say it, maybe when you and I are old the world will run into cyberpunk, we directly all mechanized, then there is no need to raise children for the elderly.
It is also possible that tomorrow the Alpha Centauri will invade the Earth, all humans are playing with eggs, you raise children to protect the elderly is also meaningless.
Until tomorrow, anything is possible, right?
I don’t care about other people, I don’t care if birth leads to society, I just want to give myself an extra leverage in my old age.
It’s not that I’m bad, it’s that I’ve seen a little too much bad stuff.
I listened to his words and was silent for a long time.
I wanted to argue back, but he had really seen this life.
Finally I wanted a drink, and when I looked up he also happened to raise his glass.
We clinked glasses and broke our hearts together.
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