The New York Post published an exclusive report exposing some chapters of Hunter Biden‘s new draft book, in which Hunter Biden talks about what is beautiful in his mind. It also talks about Chinese tycoon Ye Jianming and a 2.8-carat diamond worth $80,000.
In its report, the New York Post said yesterday that Hunter Biden, the son of Biden’s crisis-ridden son, will publish an autobiography titled “Beautiful Things” in April, it was reported. But New York Post columnist Kyle Smith got an exclusive first look, thanks to a draft he found on a laptop in the champagne room of Ba-Da-Bing‘s on Route 1 outside Wilmington. Here, he shares with us an exclusive excerpt from Chapter 1.
Some of you are wondering why I called this autobiography “The Beautiful Thing” instead of, say, “Ukrainian Business Puppet” or “Not Another Good Son. Some clowns even told me I should have called it “Ten Easy Ways to Protect Your Laptop” (#1: Don’t forget you left it in the repair store for a year while you partied).
Haha! Inside joke, you probably don’t know what I’m talking about, because Dad’s media team, also known as “the media,” took care of it so that only one news outlet in the country mentioned my laptop. Those assholes at the Post should know better than to mess with the B-team. I mean, the B-team, I’m not saying the Obamas are the A-team, we’re a bunch of pathetic political remnants, like when you go to the carpet store and there’s a dusty corner labeled “leftovers. Sure, the last First Lady was super gorgeous, hung out with Beyoncé, went to Harvard Law School and all that, but… Did you know that my stepmother is a doctor? Unfortunately, she’s not the kind of doctor who can give you a prescription for Vicodin (I asked).
I call this book “Beautiful Things” because I’ve seen it through. I am no longer a 30-year-old scoundrel, cocaine addict and power-seeker. Now that I am a 51-year-old scoundrel and power-seeker, I have learned to appreciate some of the finer things. Yes, snorting cocaine and knocking up strippers has its place in my heart, but these days, the beautiful has become more important. Have you ever seen a 2.8 carat diamond worth $80,000? It really sparkles. It’s a beautiful thing.
So is my friendship with the man who gave it to me, a rich Chinese man named Jane Yip. Only the jetsetters don’t understand that friendship is a beautiful thing!
Ye Jianming runs an energy company. I don’t know much about energy, but I know a lot about power, if you know what I mean. My dad is about to start his presidential campaign, which makes me very popular with Chinese businessmen.” Yo, Ye!” I always say. It’s something between us brothers, joking around and stuff. His English is not very good.
By the way, what happened to my old buddy Ye (Jane Ming)? Google says that Ye, who has ties to the Chinese Communist Party‘s military and intelligence services, “was chairman of Huaxin Energy (CEFC China Energy) until he disappeared after being detained by Communist authorities in early 2018.” Now that’s good. I would never take a baseball-sized diamond from a corrupt Chinese spy. In fact, now that I think about it, I don’t even know the guy [Stacey (redacted before publication, please -H].
Someone asked me: Hunter, how did you get a high-paying job on the board of a foreign company after being dishonorably discharged from the military and not having any relevant experience? It turns out I didn’t have to mention to those people that my dad was the Vice President. They already knew that! As the song goes, “I have a name, and I carry it like my daddy.” [Stacey, insert legal disclaimer about Dad never knowing these things – H.] getting hundreds of thousands of dollars from Ukrainian energy companies, and Dad being the vice president, a key player in Ukrainian policy. That’s what I call “the good stuff”.
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