Going Home for the New Year is not only a folklore, but also a belief and mission for Chinese people. If you are far away from home, and then there is no Time, you will stay up late to grab a ticket home, to eat a hot reunion dinner before the New Year’s Eve.
However, there are always some people, and most people are not the same. For them, home is not a warm haven, New Year’s Eve home is just a task than work is also exhausting, painful to want to escape.
Last Friday, Uncle launched a collection, there are more than two hundred readers in the background to elaborate their reasons for not wanting to go home for the New Year. With authorization, Uncle published some of the readers’ stories.
The following are their true narratives.
Marital conflict, turning home into a powder keg
@ChenYeah!
My Parents divorced, my mother received me around, I was either beaten or scolded, causing me a lot of psychological damage. Now grown up and working, she lent all her savings to her stepfather’s son to buy a house, but when I proposed to buy a house, she not only did not lend money, but also did not give me the account book.
I had no choice but to go to the household register to print the account, only to find that she had transferred it the night before. I thought she would take my account away with her, but I never thought I would become the head of the household.
I don’t have a home anymore, one person is full and the whole Family is not hungry. I hope more people will be more cautious about getting married and having children. Failed marriages hurt not only themselves, but the next generation as well.
@Whale
Every New Year’s Eve is a mom’s complaint conference, she keeps saying the same thing, my dad is a brother’s demon plus cheating. The most desperate thing is that I have witnessed my dad’s cheating since middle school. Once upon a time my dad was a man who could do anything in my mind, however as I grew up, I found the reality to be so unpleasant.
I don’t plan to go home for New Year’s this year, and it’s wonderful to be in school by myself. Because of Mom and Dad’s Marriage, I really don’t want to get married, and I’m not confident about the future.
@peckerwood
The actual fact is that you will be able to get a lot more than just a few of these. I brought my boyfriend home this year, and my parents were not happy with the boy, but I firmly approved of him. So they held me at home, and I couldn’t get out of the house for a while. The length of my captivity depended on when I could break up.
It’s heart-wrenching, bringing your beloved home, who knows putting a lock on yourself.
@caixuanxuanzi
When I was young, my parents often quarreled, my father domestic violence mother, the most angry time even pinched my neck. I was in that kind of family environment for a long time, and my whole being was very upset. The fact is that I always wanted to escape from that family environment and even wanted to find someone to marry when I became an adult, as long as I had someone to take me out of that environment.
After going to college, I finally escaped. Now the northern drift, far from home, not home for New Year’s Eve is not much feeling.
The patriarchal family, each time I go back to the suffocating
@MU.
Some people may want to escape home, but for me, I don’t even have a nominal home.
When I was born, my father knew I was a female and planned to give me away to be raised. Before that, he had found two or three wives just because he wanted a son. My mother, on the other hand, ran away back home the day after I was born, and I have never seen her until now. My aunt took me home and raised me. When I grew up, I gradually understood the meaning of the word illegitimate daughter.
Now, my biological father is working abroad, and his fourth or fifth wife has given him a daughter and a son. The son he treats as a treasure to provide, the daughter has congenital heart disease, he would rather take money to build a house than to cure her. The doctor said she could only live for more than 10 years. This year she is already 9 years old.
For my second daughter, he also does not care, until now only bought me a few clothes, gave me 300 yuan, and the 300 yuan or he asked his fourth wife to give.
It’s disappointing to have such a father.
@ Zhang graceful cheer
I gave birth to three daughters, my husband’s family is patriarchal, my husband cheated on me to find another woman and wanted to have a son, I decided to leave my children with my grandmother in Kunshan to look after them and come to Shanghai to work and make money and try to make myself better.
I blacked out all my husband’s contact information, and he barely contacted me since he cheated on me, and I guess I can’t go back to my home in Baoding, Hebei for the New Year because of the Epidemic, but I don’t want to spend time with my husband’s family at all, and the only thing I remember is my children.
I hope the kids and I will be strong.
@The Rest of My Life
A married woman has no home, she is a guest at her mother’s house and an outsider at her in-laws.
@decadent
My grandmother was a rural woman who had never read a book and instilled in me the feudal idea that “women are inferior to men” when I was in fifth grade. The good thing is that at that time the Internet was developed, I learned from the Internet the concept of gender equality, did not suffer from the poison of this idea, otherwise I really do not dare to imagine what I would be like now.
Back home, my cousin and I didn’t even dare to stay next to her. She is not only indoctrinated in our mindset, but also in our body shape. I was born with big feet, and she said they were not like a girl. My cousin is skinny and she says she is too skinny to have a baby. She even said something like “women can’t be leaders” when she came to stay at my house, which shook me up.
Now I am studying hard, hoping to gain an identity that I can be proud of – not necessarily a so-called leader, but one that makes me feel grounded and interesting.
The family I want to see the most is already separated from me
@myselfcn
My parents passed away last year, and I can count on one hand the number of times I went home within the year. When you go back, you will no longer shout downstairs, Mom I’m home, and you can no longer eat the Food your mother cooked. What I faced was an empty house and cold photos.
I met them in my Dreams countless times, and then began to lose sleep all night.
In this world, no one will be unconditionally nice to me anymore, I no longer have a home.
@-Like you today too
My mother died when I was very young, and my father never looked for a partner again. He was an older man who knew nothing and brought me up with the help of my grandmother, giving me all his tenderness. My father was also a father for the first time. I never said thank you to him, and rarely said I love you to him. I grew up with poor health and was rebellious, and my father worried a lot about me. He obviously wasn’t in the best of health either, but he always put me first.
The first day of the first month of my sophomore year, I went to the lantern festival with my friends, and when I returned home in the evening, my father had already made the Lantern Festival and was waiting for me. On the night of the 16th of the first month, he left me with a sudden illness.
After that I hate New Year’s Eve, hate going home, hate all family reunion festivals, because I deeply understand, no matter what, I will never see my father with me for more than ten years, no longer eat his hand-made food, more can not hear his greeting, a scolding, even if it is sad aggrieved, there is no father’s embrace for me to rely on.
Because of my rebellion during that time, I often blamed myself for my indirectly causing my father to leave. I wanted to end my life, but I thought of my elderly grandmother and my loving aunt and father, I was the eldest grandson in the family and was much loved, so if I left like that, it would be hard for them to accept it.
After two years of muddling through, I finally got into a good school, as my family had hoped. I never thought about forgiving myself until I met my college housemates, who healed me with joy, and I realized that the world out there was so beautiful.
In the third year after my father’s death, I finally came out of the darkness, out of the past, and shook hands with the world. Now I cherish every opportunity to spend time with my family and no longer avoid any moments of togetherness.
I’m only twenty years old, I still have infinite opportunities to live, come on Wu!
Hometown and family can’t cure the loneliness in my heart
@Anonymous
I’m also an escapee, half left-behind child, returned to serious parents at school age and gradually lost myself over the years trying to please them.
After graduation, I fled from the middle of the country to the south. After becoming financially independent, my sense of self gradually sprouted, and I tried to be myself first, after the fact, instead of following the path of getting married and having children. I don’t think I’ve grown up inside, I’m still a child.
This year, 29 years old, I do not know how to go back, back is the performance, will unconsciously be careful. I know that my parents have the best interests of their children at heart, but there is no proper way to communicate between them.
I started receiving counseling last year, but I feel that it is too difficult and slow to understand on my own. I only hope that I can understand and untie my family and I can do nothing else.
@Ethereal
Last year, because of some accidents and fear of seeing my family, I used the excuse of not being able to buy a ticket to stay outside and spend New Year’s alone, just in time for the epidemic.
I also missed my mother and brother, but my parents were divorced and did not leave home, and when I came home, I was bound to see my father, and the awkward atmosphere at home made me feel uncomfortable and like an outsider.
This year, because of the epidemic, I can spend New Year alone again, lonely and happy, and I don’t know how much longer I can escape.
@MiaoMiao
As a middle-aged person born in the 80s, I often feel a sense of “rootlessness” after drifting in the big city for a long time. My parents live in my hometown and have been persistent in implementing the principle of “going home for New Year’s Eve”, but what happens when I go home?
They talk about parents and neighborhood conflicts, all of which are unfamiliar things that I can’t talk about. Talking to them about my circle, they won’t understand what I do. Slowly, my hometown has become a place I can’t go back to.
But I still have to go back to see more, so that the neighbors know that I am not bad in the city, so that they do not dare to bully their parents who are not around their children.
After the epidemic, if I can get a license plate, I will get them to live in the city for a while, so they can understand my real life now, maybe our psychological distance will be a little closer.
@Sumiko
I told my father I wanted to be celibate and didn’t want to get married and have children. My father showed his usual businessman look and held out five fingers to me and said, “Yes, but you have to give me $50 million or don’t come into the house. “
Marriage and children is a personal matter for me, why do I need his consent? And the price is clearly marked, really everything can be measured with money.
I haven’t been home for New Year’s Eve for two years.
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