For some reason, I have been in a state of great stress and anxiety for the past six months. No friends around, from morning to night alone, sometimes the whole day from morning to night in silence.
A few nights ago, I locked myself in my room and cried for a long Time because of some trivial matters.
After I came out, my brother stayed with me to comfort me.
He was just a fourth grader, and I was an adult. But that night, my brother kept gently patting my back and whispering, “Sister, don’t cry, it’s okay.”
I suddenly felt as if I was the child.
The day after that night, I came Home at ten o’clock at night. My father had gone to drink the wedding wine and brought back the wedding candy. As soon as my brother heard me enter, he ran over and hugged me, saying, “Sister, I picked out all the candies that you like from the wedding that dad brought back and put them on the table in your room. Let’s go, I’ll show you.”
My brother dragged me into the room, and there were really chocolates and dates on the table that I liked.
Before I had a chance to speak, my brother looked at me from the side, his voice full of hidden delight, and said, “Sister, didn’t you find anything different on the table?”
Hearing his words, I scanned the table with my head down and found a shiny box in the lower left corner. Picking it up, I saw that it was a lipstick.
“What’s this? Who bought it?” I shouted in an amplified voice, holding the box as I walked towards the door. Because I thought my mom bought it for me, I was actually asking my mom, who was sitting in the living room, about it.
My brother followed me to the door of the room, pulled me in and said, “It’s a lipstick! I bought it for you!” Then, smiling at my surprised expression, he continued, “Open it and take a look! Do you like it?”
I opened the box with his eyes full of expectation, but I couldn’t stop wondering. I asked him, “Where did you buy this? Where did you get the money to buy the lipstick?”
My mother told me that my brother was helping to clean the house and found fifty dollars from the nooks and crannies. The brother asked her if she could give him the fifty dollars.
Mom thought her brother wanted to keep it to buy his favorite books. Because he often saves for a long time, save up to twenty-five to buy his favorite books. Fifty dollars, you can buy two books directly.
So mom agreed.
I didn’t expect my brother to walk to the boutique underneath the nearby mall and pick out a lipstick for me after my mom agreed to go outside to play with my buddies after dinner.
I couldn’t speak at once, and my heart was filled with the urge to cry.
My brother was embarrassed and said, “This is my first time buying lipstick, so I won’t buy it.”
He said, “I walked to the boutique and at a glance I saw this lipstick was particularly beautiful, bright and shiny, like a rainbow. But I didn’t know what color to buy, so I asked the sister inside the store. The sister asked me, “Is your sister fair-skinned? I thought for a while and said, “Yes, she is. Then she recommended this color to me.”
I hugged my brother, and tears welled up in my eyes.
I said, “You’re silly, my skin is not white at all.”
“So do you like this color?”
“Yes. I like whatever you send, thank you.”
I remembered many times before.
I said I liked green, and my brother gave me his green pen, his little green toy, even his little green piece of paper.
I sat lazily and commanded him to serve me tea and water, and he rarely complained and did so obediently.
I cooked snail noodles for him to eat, after eating the dishes thrown on the table, I said: “so tired ah, do not want to wash the dishes.” Then my brother would take the bowl to the kitchen and wash it while saying, “My sister cooked the noodles, so I’ll wash the dishes.”
I get impatient easily and always yell at him, and he never complains about me for it.
When I’m alone, he always likes to come over and talk to me, and I ask him, “Why do you always bother me?” And he said, “Because I want to talk to you, you’re my best friend.”
I often have appearance anxiety, but my brother says every time, “Sister, I think you’re beautiful, you’re the most beautiful person in the world.”
I’ve been out of school before, and he’s walked long distances on Fridays after school with a bulky backpack, standing in front of a tutoring facility covered in sweat, waiting for me to get out of class, just because he wanted to come home with me on Friday night.
There are many, many more things, and every detail of my Life with him seems to be able to be brought out. I got used to his naivety and favoritism, and only in one touched moment did I react to the fact that all of my brother’s kindnesses had been taken for granted by me as the norm.
I felt very warm and guilty, my chest was stuffy, and my whole body was filled with an indescribable emotion, as if only a hug could ease him over.
The night of the lipstick delivery, my brother came to my room with his pillow and quilt and asked me, “Sister, can I talk with you at night and then I’ll sleep on the other side of your bed?”
I agreed.
With the tiny desk lamp lit, I read to him in the dim light, the “Tomb Raider” I read in junior high school. To be honest, there is actually an element of bad taste in it, I know my brother is very timid, telling such stories with spiritual overtones, he will always be very scared.
But as long as I say, “If you don’t listen, then you go to your room.”
The brother will be scared again will endure, huddled in the blanket hot sweat, but also to listen to me finish.
I scared him for a short while, then closed the book and turned off the light.
Every time this happened, we would talk before bedtime.
My brother told me that when he came back from buying lipstick for me, the xxx kids downstairs said, “Your sister won’t like this messy lipstick, they use the kind with a brand name.”
My brother said: “I feel that xxx that sentence hit me at once, I feel so sad so sad, there is a feeling of wanting to cry.”
I all of a sudden also want to cry.
I sat up and reached out to touch his head and found that his hair was soaked with sweat because he had just covered his whole body into the blanket because he was listening to “Notes from the Tomb Raider”.
I said: “You don’t care what xxx says, I’ll like whatever you send, I’m going to wear the lipstick you gave me tomorrow.”
My brother said, “You are so nice to me. Good night.”
I also said good night, and then retreated back into the blanket to wipe the tears that just fell.
Maybe because I don’t have anyone to talk to on a daily basis, I seem to cry very easily.
This is the “shiny, rainbow-like, beautiful” lipstick that my brother was talking about
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