01
Holding an oil paper umbrella, alone
Wandering in the long, long, long
and silent rainy lane.
I hope to meet
A lilac-like
I hope to meet a lilac-like girl with sorrow.
Do you remember the lilac-like girl who mourned alone in the rainy alley? Dai Wangshu spent his whole life in pursuit of that lilac-like girl. He gazed, he hoped, he waited, but in the end, he missed the girl and the fragrance again and again, and again and again, remorse and remorse were intertwined with fantasy and expectation, leaving touching poems.
The first girl in his life with a lilac-like fragrance, named Shi Jiangnian, is the sister of his friend Shi Jixingcun, and one day in a certain year, they met, which was not a beautiful meeting, but at their most beautiful age.
He thought, he met the lilac-like girl, in his eyes, as if she was holding an oil paper umbrella, in the light rain slowly walking towards him, walking slowly, with a trace of sadness, with a wisp of fragrance, a walk into his heart.
From then on, his joy and sorrow have a source and a place to return, he wanted to get to know this girl, and rely on each other, but unfortunately, the story is only half written. He was so in love with this girl that he forced her with his life, and after she agreed, they held an engagement ceremony, and after that, he went abroad to study, and when he left, he already imagined returning.
But when he returned, things were already different. Shi Jiangnian met the person she really loved, and she bravely chose her love, leaving him alone in the rainy alley with drizzling rain.
The poor poet, wounded by love, was in pain and uncertainty, and the beautiful poems that had lingered in his mind several times describing the girl dissipated invisibly, leaving only the sorrow. In fact, it is not the girl who is sad, it is always him, he is happy because of her, but also because she is sad, and what makes him sad is that her worries have nothing to do with him, and her every move touches his thoughts, like tweaking on his sensitive nerves, the delicate finger rhythm, he follows the happy, it is sad, he is also sad.
His dream shattered, his dream of the heart, love and care of the flower has been spitting buds, but in the moment of the upcoming bloom withered.
02
I will not go to the garden again.
Loneliness is already as high as I am.
I sit at night and listen to the wind, I sleep by day and listen to the rain.
I have learned how the moon is missing and how the sky is old.
At a low point in his life, he met the second girl in his life – Mu Lijuan, who was elegant and beautiful, dignified and generous, so that he regained his expectation of love, and he married her in spite of everything, and this time, he finally got what he wanted.
He and his wife never quarreled and lived a quiet and peaceful life, living in a small house, which seemed to outsiders to be an enviable life, but he could not forget the first girl who came into his heart, he felt that was his favorite, that was the true home of his heart longing for love.
He wrote in his poem:
All day long I irrigated the roses
But I let the orchid wither
In his heart, Shi Jiangnian is the orchid, Mu Lijuan is the rose, he carefully cared for the rose, the rose alone quietly bloom, but he could not care to appreciate the bloom of the rose, he alone in the dream looking for the orchid, in the dream to meet the lilac-like girl with a sadness.
Rose waited, but never waited for the love she wanted. When Mu Lijuan’s brother was assassinated, she cried bitterly, but only to wait for Dai Wangshu’s public reprimand, her mother died, he withheld the telegram, although in order to avoid her being involved in family matters, but too sensible not to speak of human feelings.
When she learned everything, she left decisively, returned to Shanghai, gave her mother a funeral, and no longer had any illusions about this love.
But at this point, the poet realized that he had fallen in love with Rose, he regretted, he stayed. But Mu Lijuan has been disappointed, no longer want to return to the same life, her love has long been eliminated, like a dried up lake, and then a big movement, can not provoke the slightest wave.
He was ashes to ashes, again to death, but this time the result was not as desired.
He and her love in different times, did not intersect, did not overlap, they performed a perfect miss, the audience called the play good, the parties are full of melancholy.
03
Dreams will bloom out of flowers, the
Dreams will blossom into delicate flowers.
Go beg for priceless treasures.
He did not wait for Mu Lijuan’s return after all, but he met another lilac-like girl. She is a copyist of the printing bureau – Yang Jing, she is young and beautiful, he said in his poem that she is a delicate flower, a delicate flower that blooms in his dreams when he is aging.
He spent his life longing for love, chasing love, missing love, and perhaps only in his dreams could he truly find the girl who haunted him.
He is married to Yang Jing, but as Mu Lijuan, he still carefully watered his flowers, but at the bottom of his heart he kept thoughts of another flower, nostalgic for his past love. His eyes are tired of looking at the poem and calling out again and again, but he can’t wait for his beloved one to look back.
When he is still looking back at the past orchid, the rose is now not a rose, I do not know when, grew into a red apricot. He again to stay, but Yang Jing also decided to leave, and finally left him alone, alone in the heart of a tender soil to carry his love, guard a side of loneliness and sorrow.
He left the world alone, his love and not love are dissipated in this moment, only he left those immortal poems, sung by the world, widely sung.
Perhaps he was destined to miss in this life, met his beloved at the most beautiful age, but unfortunately, their love never really met. In his case, he was less fortunate after all, not being able to meet the right person at the right time, not really being able to enjoy the flowers when they bloom.
04
My delicate beauty has been destroyed.
My time of beauty has passed.
Tonight I shed tears of fragrance.
Tomorrow, it will shrivel up in the dust.
His life came to an end, but for human civilization, he left behind many immortal masterpieces, the beautiful words of his wounds, his expectations, his regrets, his fantasies, the blend of his life’s emotions.
After his death, Shi Jiangnian’s brother Shi Jiguangcun helped him organize his posthumous works and find publications to publish them, so that these moving poems really came into people’s eyes and dived into the hearts of many people.
Today, many years later, some people still recall a poet named Dai Wangshu, who was waiting for a girl, a girl with a lilac fragrance, holding an oil-paper umbrella and carrying a sadness.
As he himself said, good things will never be forgotten, it just condenses like ice, and one day will reopen like a flower. Those gentle and beautiful poems printed on the pages are blossoming again in this time where they belong. They bring touch, comfort and regret. They will continue to exist and bloom at the right time.
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