The second aunt is the mother’s cousin, settled in the neighboring province, the son Ma Yue has been a good boy, the results are also good, in 2018 with excellent grades into the provincial key high school, is currently in the second year of high school.
Second aunt is the oldest son, the cousin is very important to the heart, study also grasped very tightly. I am the youngest in the family to do well in the college entrance exams, so from time to time, my second aunt would ask me questions such as “how to maintain excellent grades”, and so on, and in the end, I was a little impatient, after all, I have graduated for many years, what use can that experience be to children nowadays?
In late November last year, my second aunt invited our family to her place as guests, and I immediately told my mother, “I don’t want to go, say I’m sick.”
“You child!” My mother gave me a blank look and said, “Your aunt has been very agitated lately, so why don’t you just go to dinner with us and cheer up a little?”
I hadn’t seen her for half a year, but she had lost weight, her eyes were heavy with dark circles, and the lines on her face were a little obvious. When she saw my mother, she said, “Sister, being a parent is really tiring.”
“Being a parent is always tiring, I wasn’t worried when my little ancestor was in high school.” My mom was relieved.
The second aunt sighed and said, “Hey, you don’t know, leap students’ parents are some kind of people oh ……”
The second aunt poured beans down her sleeve and told us stories of being a parent of a high school student, the escalating anxiety, stress and exhaustion of chaperoning and working with the “PTA”. After listening, I began to understand her somewhat.
The following is Aunt Yee’s own account.
1
I was happy for a while when Yueyue first got into high school – the best school in the city, and Yueyue got in with a “bare score”. The other students are also good achievers, and the learning atmosphere is certainly not bad, so I think the chances of Yue Yue going to a good university in the future are certainly high.
But not long after, the new college entrance examination policy came down, I was a bit panicked.
The new college entrance examination is “3+1+2” program, “3” is the mandatory subjects, namely language, mathematics, foreign language; “1” is physics, history “2 choose 1 The “3” is the compulsory subjects, i.e. language, mathematics and foreign language; the “1” is physics and history “2 choose 1”; the “2” is to choose 2 subjects from biology, chemistry, geography and politics as optional subjects. This new program has weakened the advantage for Yueyue, who is preparing to study science. The parents’ group is also on tenterhooks, saying “if you choose the wrong subject, it will be the end” and “how is it our child’s turn to be the first? It’s very stressful for our children”. These emotions have also infected me. I knew that my son was also under a lot of pressure, and he was tired and thin from trying to keep up with the progress of each subject so that he could make a choice during the class placement.
Leap had previously mentioned that their dorm mates snored at night, so I found a weekend and went to see the “chaperone rooms” near the school. There were many parents accompanying students near the provincial high school, and when we decided to rent a room, the good ones were all picked out. Some of the remaining ones had poor sound insulation, low water pressure, and some rooms were too small. After choosing, I rented a relatively satisfactory one at a high price – complete with electricity, water and air conditioning, a quiet location, and a small kitchen so I could cook a good meal for my son if I got off work early to supplement his nutrition.
I also know that some families have their children’s mothers quit their jobs or have the elderly come over and “chaperone” the school wholeheartedly. But my family does not have such physical conditions, and my father is often away from home doing engineering work, and I cannot quit my administrative job at the high school.
In the second semester of senior high school, it was finally time for class placement. I consulted a few friends from colleges and universities, and repeatedly discussed with Yue Yue about whether or not to choose “the science of the arts” in geography. I asked Yueyue to go to his homeroom teacher, Mr. Gong, and my son came back and told me that the homeroom teacher advised him to stay in his current class 5.
“Didn’t your homeroom teacher take ‘Science, Chemistry and Politics’?” I was shocked because Yueyue’s political performance was quite average, “Did you study politics? Didn’t you say you’d take geography?”
“Teacher Gong said that the geography was easy in this exam, but the politics was very difficult, and I ranked high in politics, so I had a big advantage to stay in class 5. And I stay in my original class, the teacher and classmates are more familiar, and Mr. Gong said that this is more conducive to my study.”
In the end, Yueyue stayed in class 5. I would go to the chaperone room every day after class, cleaning, washing clothes and making snacks for him. When my son finished his evening study, I would chat with him and ask him about his studies. When my son goes to bed, I drive home. Every day I drove on the road for more than an hour, and often arrived home in the middle of the night – all the time after work was left for my son, and sometimes I had to catch up on some work when I arrived home.
After the class was divided, politics seemed to get harder, and there was a lot of stuff to memorize. Sometimes after the evening study, Yue Yue was still reading with his notebook. I bought him walnuts and juiced them to improve his memory. But after a month, Yueyue’s monthly exams were still a mess, and his score in politics was particularly low, taking away his advantage in physics and chemistry. He told me that he “couldn’t memorize” politics.
This was the first test after the class was divided, and some parents in the group were glad that they had chosen the right subject, while others said, “My child should not have chosen politics, let’s change the class.”
I was anxious – not long ago, I met with a parent of one of Yueyue’s classmates, and he gave me a bit of information, saying that Mr. Gong knew that Yueyue’s politics was not the best, but he wanted him to be good in science, so he deliberately persuaded him to stay, so that although Yueyue’s overall score would be sacrificed, the overall score in the class would improve. The overall score of the class will be improved. There are several students who are in the same situation as Yue Yue, and their ranking in this exam has dropped.
“How can there be such a black-hearted teacher!” I thought with hatred.
I took Friday off work and went to school early in the morning to talk to Mr. Wan, the teacher of Yueyue’s grade. The director came to work early, and he came just as I arrived. I explained that I wanted to change Yue Yue’s class to focus on “physics, chemistry and geography”.
Director Wan nodded: “I have an impression of Ma Yue, this child’s performance is quite good, may be just not adapt to the class, you see how long it is, give your child a little time, parents should not be too anxious.”
“I can not be anxious? Look at his performance in the seventh middle school, this time too much decline, not not to adapt to the separation of subjects, is not the right choice of subjects ah!
“We also stressed again and again to choose carefully, you too, how come you only know now that it is not suitable? There are more than 700 students in the grade, 12 classes, should we blame the division of subjects if we don’t do well this time?” Director Wan smiled and rejected me, saying over and over again that it was “not in line with the rules” and “affecting normal teaching”.
I couldn’t make a fuss, and Director Wan said I had to go to class, so I had to leave.
I went back to Director Wan twice in a row, but still to no avail. Some parents in the group said that a student in the class had changed classes and left. The rest of the parents spread the rumor that that parent was some kind of relative of the principal, “otherwise there are so many who want to change classes, how come he wants to change just like that?”
Looking at my son’s effort to study, I went to see Director Wan again. This time, I prepared a red envelope of 2,000 yuan, and when I entered the office, I handed it to Director Wan, saying, “This is a small token of appreciation, please accept it.”
Director Wan smiled, but pushed my hand away and said, “You don’t have to be polite. Come, please sit down.”
I thought he was being polite, so I handed it to him twice more, but I didn’t expect him to firmly refuse it. I was a little embarrassed that I couldn’t give him a gift, but I said, “It’s still about Ma Yue’s class change – the child memorizes until 11:00 every night, so he’s really not good at studying politics. You are a teacher, you must not want your child to take a wrong turn, right?”
Director Wan opened his mouth to comfort him, but the general idea was that you had chosen the wrong subject yourself, and that adjusting it now would cause unrest among the other students, and that they would not study well, but would want to change subjects, so how could that work?
I still couldn’t hold back and blurted out, “Then Ma Yue had a classmate who changed, huh?”
Director Wan stared at me for a while and said, “There are always special circumstances, that student is the arrangement from above, the school leadership side agreed.”
When I got home, I was so helpless and angry that I couldn’t help but tell my sister, who works in the education system back home, about the matter, and she criticized me, saying, “What are you doing sending money? Sending money is not good enough!”
My sister said that I should send some decent gifts and cry a little to show my determination to persevere. I was asked if I knew any college newspaper editors, so I could “mention” them, “now high school teachers also need to send articles”. The last instruction: “You and other students parents more contact, do not always alone, a lot of information is passed between parents, to inquire about the director of this Wan how people.”
After hearing my sister’s words, I made some efforts. Two days later, I went to Director Wan’s office again. Maybe the stubborn parents have seen too much, director Wan was not too surprised to see me again. I handed him a small bag with a designer pen inside and said, “A small token of appreciation, please don’t resist.”
Director Wan didn’t push back and asked me to sit down. I repeated my intention and said, “Director, when it comes to the education of children, parents really dare not give up. You see, I have to come all the way here, which also affects your normal work. Your children will soon be in high school, so you must know how I feel!”
Director Wan sighed gently, and I couldn’t help but cry myself: “Yue Yue’s father is busy at work, and Yue Yue is really a sensible child who has never caused any trouble to his teachers and classmates. When you get to your new class, you will definitely study well and stay out of trouble. The new class is a good place for him to be, so he won’t be a burden to the school. Now his motivation to study has dropped, if he continues like this, if he fails to get into the ‘heavy’ school in the future, the school will not be able to save face!
Director Wan sat and thought for a while, and finally asked me, “Which subject does your child want to study?”
2
Yueyue was finally transferred from class 5 to class 7 on the same floor. I asked him how the new class teacher introduced him to the students, and whether there was a welcome ceremony or something like that, but he just gave me a few perfunctory words like “it’s okay” or “it’s what you think it is”.
I thought that as long as the change of my son’s class did not cause too much commotion and discontent around me, it was good that Yueyue was able to adapt well anyway.
The same evening, after a few words of courtesy, I quit the parent group of Class 5 and applied to join the parent group of Class 7 on qq according to the message given to me by the teacher of Class 7, Ms. Wang. The “PTA” of Class 7 is said to be one of the two strongest PTAs in this grade and is known for its high efficiency.
Within half a minute, the application was approved. A person named “Xu Fei’s mom” started the group, and gradually a neat line formed in the parent group to welcome me in a friendly manner.
This scene made the newcomers feel a little warm, but I remembered what I had heard before about the “rules” in this kind of parent group chat “formation”: if you reply to each parent’s greeting one by one, you will be too busy; if you leave everyone alone and let them go, you will be too busy. If you leave everyone alone and let the “formation” go on neatly, it looks too big. So I carefully calculated the rhythm, and after every seven or eight messages came out, I made a few short and polite courtesies. Six teachers and three parents were group administrators, and some had the same avatar as me, a picture of their child.
The group’s administrator, six teachers and three parents, had the same picture of their children as I did. “Welcome Ma Yue to our class! It’s just as well that the school is having a field day, so let’s invite the teachers to get together next weekend at the Terra Nova House near the school, and Ma Yue’s mom can come and get acquainted with the teachers and parents ~”
A new message popped up and interrupted my “investigation” – it was the same Xu Fei’s mom, one of the group administrators, who sent the message. The “greeting” was over and we were moving on to the next topic. How to get to know the teachers and parents of the new class early and build a good relationship was a headache for me, but I didn’t expect the opportunity to come so soon – and I was really free next weekend, so of course I had to say yes.
“No problem, I can be there, and I look forward to meeting everyone! Taking lessons from all of you wonderful parents! Is there anything I can do to help?” After all, my name was named, so I weighed my words a little and hurriedly sent the message.
“Oh, no, it’s good that you can attend! We will do the specific preparations for the family committee.” Another “Liu Da dad” said that he was also an administrator.
Previously, the PTA of Class 5 didn’t have much of a presence, but the teacher just informed the group of some news, but the PTA of Class 7 had a feeling of “parental autonomy”, and the “workload” contained in it was probably more than I could imagine.
“Thank you, I’m looking forward to it!” That’s what I had to say.
A few days later, I finally arrived at this mysterious and important dinner.
The Terra Nova House restaurant was close to the school, for the convenience of the teacher coming from work. I had passed by a few times before, but it was actually the first time I came in. The decoration inside the restaurant was very grand, the parents had booked the most grand private room, and samples of the dishes were already laid out in the ordering area.
I walked into the private room and looked around, there were already many parents seated.
“Hello, Ma Yue’s mother! Welcome!” A woman of my age approached me and enthusiastically shook my hand.
“You are ……” I felt very rude when I first arrived and people recognized me but I didn’t recognize them.
“I’m Xu Fei’s mom, haha!”
Xu Fei’s mother guided me to meet the parents one by one, so many people, I could not remember for a while, but a few parents left a deep impression on me.
“This is Guo Yu’s father, Mr. Guo, he is a hometown with the president of Yingzhou House, oh yes, and our grade director, Mr. Wan, is also a hometown with them! He’s the one who booked the hotel room for us!”
Guo Yu’s father looked confident and smiling, his smile was really similar to the old boss who was personally received at the entrance of the hotel today.
“This is Xu Ming’s father, Secretary Xu, the youngest middle-level cadre of the newly promoted provincial XX department. This is the director of the horse who accompanied him, the child will soon report to the seventh middle school after the midterm!”
“Where, where, where, our little horse is good enough to go to school, we still have to learn from all the successful parents here!”
The two middle-aged men wearing glasses were well-dressed, and although their demeanor was kind and polite, there was an indescribable sense of distance that made people feel awe-inspiring.
“This is Li Qing’s grandfather, he loves his grandson and waits for him at the school gate every day after school!”
Everyone stood up and toasted the gray-haired Grandpa Li, who was inconvenienced to get up and smiled and nodded and arched his hand in greeting.
“This is Liu Da’s mother, Liu Chief, today she is responsible for preparing gifts for the teachers. This voucher ah, although it is written on the next month will expire, but you go to the store to report the name of the General Manager Liu, the year to exchange are in time!”
Liu Da’s mother acted gently and generously, and handed me a gift certificate at hand.
“Our new member today, Ma Yue’s mom, her son is also very good and motivated, and last time I met Mr. Gong, he was praised for his great potential. Ma Yue’s mom is also very impressive, and she manages a lot of things day by day at XX College.” Finally, another group administrator, “Liu Da Dad”, introduced me to everyone.
I couldn’t help but suck in a breath of cold air – this couple, one preparing the gifts and delivering the gift certificates to me, and the other in charge of the organization, even checking out my work – really worked very well together.
While we were talking, the teachers came in. Although I had never met them, I had seen their pictures on the school’s exhibition board before and basically remembered the faces and names of the six teachers.
“Mr. Xiao, your recent article in our academic journal is well written! Talking about the development space of our city cluster, speaking profoundly and level. Our Institute, in the future, should also seek more exchanges with you ah!” Li Kang’s father, who worked at the university, stood up and greeted Mr. Xiao, who taught geography, with this alternative opening speech. Mr. Xiao seemed to be in a low mood when he entered, but the smile on his face could not be hidden anymore.
The teachers came in and shook hands with the “family members” one by one. I realized that all the parents who came to the party seemed to be very active parents in the QQ group, and all of them were not small. Li Kang’s father, who is a peer of mine, has a much better school than I do, which made me sweat; Liu Da’s mother brought good wine and even found a chauffeur for the parents who drove here. We all drank a little under the persuasion of several male parents and were slightly drunk.
At the dinner table, I learned that the only class that specializes in “physics, chemistry and geography” is class 7, which is also the “top class”, and Xu Ming is the kid who easily changed classes when my son was in class 5.
I finally experienced the strength behind the so-called “most powerful family committee” and became even more worried: I don’t know the parents and I don’t know the teachers. I was an unknown participant in this dinner party where parents’ backgrounds were being compared, and I had no advantage except my special status as a “first-timer”.
At that moment, I was suddenly in a trance. I reassured myself that Yueyue was a good student and didn’t need me to worry too much.
3
The final results soon came out, and my son kept up with physics, chemistry, and geography, just a little worse in English.
I asked around and found out that Mr. Jiang, who teaches English to class 7, had just joined the class this semester. I secretly speculated that it was because the teacher had little teaching experience that my son’s grades were not satisfactory.
To get to know her, I went to her office during the evening study period to see her. She spoke slowly and looked soft, and when I asked her about Yueyue, her answers were a bit vague. I didn’t think she knew much about my son’s studies and didn’t care enough about him, so I asked her a few more questions and found out that she was leading two classes and was also the classroom teacher.
Can a new teacher do so many things? No wonder she didn’t know about Yueyue’s situation!
A few days later, there was talk in the parents’ group about moving the teacher to teach the senior class, and they were patting themselves on the back, saying, “Don’t choose our teacher away, our teacher is the best.”
I saw the phrase “shortage of language and English teachers” and picked up on it: “Is Mr. Jiang moving?”
The group was silent – I suddenly remembered that all the subject teachers were in the group, and also felt a little embarrassed.
After a while, Liu Da’s mother sent a message: “Teacher Jiang graduated from XX famous university, graduate degree, won the first place in the basic teaching skills competition, both from education and practice, are the best. Liu Da also often said that the most admired teacher Jiang, such a teacher, we must defend, can not be transferred away!”
Immediately after a few parents also followed the mouth, all said that their children especially like Mr. Jiang.
“No transfer, no teacher in the class will be missing.” The last person to speak was Xu Ming’s mother, “Please don’t worry.”
I knew that I was a small person. Ms. Jiang was indeed understanding, caring, and admired by her students-it was just that my son was not among the students she cared about most.
So I looked for another evening study session to talk to the class teacher, Ms. Wang. But I didn’t get to say a few words to Ms. Wang the whole night – students came to ask questions, class members came over to report on the situation, other teachers came over to convey tasks …… Ms. Wang was exceptionally nice, but busy, and finally by 9:50 she was free.
She said to me, “Director Wan has talked about Ma Yue’s situation, I know it in my heart. Our top class has a faster teaching schedule, so he may have to catch up. When he gets used to it, he will be fine. You should comfort him more and let him not be stressed psychologically.”
After that, she said she was going home from work, and I was too embarrassed to interrupt – I’m not very good at talking, and Yueyue is also a quiet child, although active in learning, but does not like to be in the limelight, which is probably why the reputable teacher Jiang does not know Yueyue very well.
However, I gradually found that the high school level of “father”, not only “background” so simple, but more important is the nanny and housekeeping type of payment. I am not as good as the parents in this area.
“I heard the names of Liu Da and Xu Fei several times from Yueyue – they were active in class activities and daily study, often interacting with teachers and improving their grades from the upper middle class.
It turns out that the parents’ “activity level” directly affects the teacher’s attention to the students, and Liu Da’s father, who actively contributes to every activity, always gets verbal “thanks” from the class teacher, Mr. Wang. The more times, the more familiar and close the teacher is to Liu Da, the more attention he will give to Liu Da, and the more he will mention and guide him in his studies. If Liu Da has any problems in his study, his parents can communicate with Mr. Wang and the teacher can talk to Liu Da in time.
Other parents also know this, and they are all very active. All kinds of information sent by teachers in the group are answered in “seconds”, and they are actively involved in organizing activities. The teacher said in the group, “Thanks to the three parents, it was done very quickly and it is worthwhile for other classes to learn from them”; for the completion of summer homework, Guo Yu’s father contacted the teachers of each subject and organized six categories of homework check according to the comments, handwritten and transcribed them and posted them in the group; Huang Yu’s father took pictures of them and sent them to the group. Huang’s mother is the home school contact person, responsible for receiving information in the school-wide group and forwarding it to the class group; Xu’s mother organizes every student’s activity into a press release and sends it to the group and the class public website …… Parents seem to be “competing” for favor. They try to use the teacher’s good impression of themselves to translate into a little benefit for their children.
After sending two more gift cards to Ms. Wang, I decided to be more active in the group and take the initiative to participate in various activities. I couldn’t compete with rich parents who gave me fancy gift cards and shopping vouchers, and I couldn’t compete with parents with backgrounds who asked leaders to greet them, but I could still actively participate in PTA activities and leave a good impression on the teachers, right?
I thought about how the teachers would be most impressed by the parents who were most active in the group. But how could they find the time and energy to do so? It takes an hour or two to organize the homework rubric, not to mention every subject and every assignment, and it takes a lot of time to write press releases for events day in and day out. …… Not to mention all the little things, printing materials, buying books, organizing forms, and so on. There are so many things that need to be done at school.
I really wonder what Liu Da’s parents do in the end, how can they have so much time, do not have to work?
4
I took the opportunity to wait for my son to leave school in the evening and secretly inquired with Yang’s mother next to me.
Speaking of Liu Da’s dad, Yang’s mom was also very impressed: “He organized so many things, and it’s all because of those few people who hold up our family council so competently.”
Yang’s mother told me that Liu Da’s father is the deputy editor-in-chief of a publishing house, that publishing house is in this district of the school, less than 20 minutes by car, so it is particularly convenient for him to come to the school, and he does many things personally. Because he pays so much, his face and personality look strong, so in the arrangements for the party, birthday party, blessing collection and other activities, he arranged which parents to do what, everyone is too embarrassed to resist.
I don’t know what kind of business the “deputy editor-in-chief” is in charge of, but the amount of time Liu Da’s father puts into the PTA completely shattered my established impression of the publishing industry as a busy business. For several events, the souvenirs Liu Da’s father gave to the teachers were all beautiful creative products, beautiful stationery, customized calendars, and the latest books from the publisher, generous and not overly flashy. I thought about the gift cards I had given to Ms. Wang, and I couldn’t help but feel a little ashamed – teachers have seen a lot of gift cards, so they naturally don’t care.
My daily work is a lot of trivial things, but also can not always appear near the school, there is no way to guard the phone to “grab” the teacher’s temporary assignment. After a period of “mind scrambling”, I found out that those seemingly simple things are really troublesome for working people who have no time to spare, and compared with those parents who are waiting for the school full-time, it is really difficult for me to “pay” anything. Compared with those parents who work full-time, I really can’t “pay” anything.
My time is concentrated in the afternoons and evenings, and during the day I grab some paperwork, but I’m not particularly busy at work anyway. I helped my class organize the trip itinerary, bought greeting cards for the teachers, and designed the classroom culture plan, all with Liu Da’s dad. Liu Da’s dad was very serious about revising the programs and plans, and responded quickly, as if he didn’t have a job.
What I did most was to be on “duty” during the evening study period, guarding the order of students entering and leaving the school building. During that time, I was at Leapfrog School after work, so I was on “standby” for a small number of days.
As I became more active, “MaYueMom” appeared in the parent group more and more often.
As the winter flu was in full swing, the teacher said we needed parents to clean and disinfect the classroom after school. As soon as I saw that it was after school in the evening, I signed up and went to disinfect Yuyue’s classroom twice a week.
My son finished his evening study at 9:30, so I told him to go straight back to his chaperone’s house and cover the soup in a pot; I myself waited for the students to finish and then went into the classroom to clean and spray disinfectant water everywhere. After half an hour, I returned to the rental house and asked my son if he had a cold and how his studies were going.
A week passed, and I saw a message in the group: “Thanks to Liu Da’s dad, Ma Yue’s mom and Guo Yu’s mom for rushing to work …… to make the classroom clean, bright and fresh, and disinfect it in time to give the children a secure learning environment. Thank you to PTA Dad Liu Da for organizing and everyone for their dedication.”
At that moment, I had a little comfort in my heart that I felt less marginalized among the parents of the cattlemen.
But parents who are resourceful and willing to give are never in the minority. Guo Yu’s father, who had been in charge of organizing scores and results, sent a message after a typo, saying, “I’m sorry, everyone, I always make mistakes while driving, but I’m also worried about parents waiting. It drew praise from parents with flirtation.
Parents also seem to be happy to buy things for the whole class, eye lamps, supplements, stationery, snacks, all in boxes, some are paid for by the PTA, some directly out of their own pockets. One time during the evening study session, grandpa Li Qing was panting and carrying two cartons of milk to distribute to each student, and Mr. Wang thanked him in the group and said, “Grandpa is too old, don’t work hard. Guo Yu’s father set up a table or two at Yingzhou Mansion and invited the students who stayed at school on the weekend to study for extra meals, and the food was often hundreds or thousands of dollars.
I did my part by running errands at the PTA, which was like an extra temporary job. I rarely mention these things to my son, all so that he can learn at ease and learn better. But I’m almost half a century old, and sometimes I don’t have enough energy. When I get home at night, I lie in bed and wonder why I’m doing all these chores. Do all other parents sacrifice as much time and energy as I do?
5
At the end of the year, there were more things to do. On this day, Liu Da’s father sent a message in the group saying, “Let’s get together after the kids’ final exams and celebrate the New Year in advance by the way. All parents and students are required to attend.”
The parents all chimed in. As usual, Liu Da’s father quickly sent out many documents in the group, including a list of items to be purchased, a schedule of work for the day, and a schedule of student programs.
I filled in my name on the “Parent Volunteer Preparation Form” and volunteered to “set up the venue in advance”. The parents thought it was a good opportunity to “impress” the teachers and took the initiative. The sign-ups for programs, logistics, communications, etc. all filled up quickly. I looked at the paperwork I had to catch up on at the end of the year, and then I looked at the news from the parents and sighed: it’s all about the kids.
Liu Da’s father wrote me privately and said, “The gala is going to have a program, can you perform a program?”
I thought, “If I perform a show, I can show my face in front of the teacher, and the teacher should be impressed with me. But I didn’t have any talent, so after thinking for a while, I said, “How about preparing a recitation?”
Liu Da’s father said yes.
I carefully selected a long poem for my child. Although it was not difficult, I practiced it many times in private in order to make a good impression on the teacher.
For this party, we had a large private room at the Terra Nova House and set up 10 tables, and all the students and parents were there. The students sang, danced, performed skits, played musical instruments, and demonstrated calligraphy, all of which were wonderful. Parents also contributed “group dancing” and singing. Some of the male parents went out of their way to be funny and dance to songs from the Internet, while some of the female parents showed off their girlish looks and bodies in a way that was so memorable that my poetry recitation was not worth mentioning.
The party lasted for nearly three hours, with Liu Da’s father looking serious, walking around with the program, urging the audience to get on and off the stage, very much like a “chief choreographer”. At the end, Mr. Wang gave a speech on stage, thanking all the parents and children for their efforts, especially Mr. Liu Da’s father, who had put a lot of effort from planning to choreography. At that moment, I felt that I was also a member of the PTA.
The parents got up, lined up and started taking turns to toast the teachers. I sat at a table close to the teacher because of the performance, and I heard the parents say “Teacher, I’m XXX’s mother (or father)” to Ms. Wang in turn, but Ms. Wang didn’t seem to know them well. The parents who were familiar with them sat at a table with the teachers and had been talking since a while ago.
I hurriedly got up, joined the queue, toasted the teachers one by one, and also said, “Hello, I’m Ma Yue’s mother. Mr. Wang was more familiar with me, and Mr. Jiang also had an impression of me, but I could only see the alienation and strangeness on the faces of the remaining subject teachers. I wanted to take the opportunity to talk to Ms. Jiang about my son’s situation, but the parents were so inundated that the teachers didn’t have time to say a few words.
Seeing that it was too late, the teachers hurriedly ended the conversation and went home.
Three days later, Liu Da’s father sent the PTA summary of “Class 7 2019 Chronicle” to the group, which summarized all the activities in the class this semester, including cleaning and hygiene, charity sales, summer camps, school trips, research exams, holiday activities, homework feedback, class culture construction, etc., containing detailed screenshots, photos, and file information. More than 50 megabytes and more than 14,000 words. Due to my active participation in the last six months, there are also many photos of me in it.
At the same time, the children’s final grades came out. I saw that Liu Da’s grade had improved again and was in the top three in the class. Yueyue’s grades were okay, ranking 10th in the class, with no major ups and downs.
I started to get anxious again – I could see the greatness of those “cow parents” and the extent of their dedication to their children, and how hard I could not catch up with them, and I was afraid it would affect my son’s grades.
Postscript
Recently, as the epidemic intensified, my second aunt became even more anxious about how well my cousin, who had a “delayed start” to school, would adapt to online classes.
She told me, “Anyway, there are classes for every subject, from 6:50 a.m. to 9:30 p.m. every day, and they are scheduled for morning reading, classes, current events, evening reading, and sports. There are a bunch of printed materials.”
I asked her, “Does the PTA have to help with this online class?”
“Mostly it’s managing things related to the kids’ online learning.” Auntie says the PTA is still busy, forwarding school notices, organizing prep materials and homework, organizing online course manuals and related Q&A, sharing information about the epidemic – the PTA will always be the PTA, and the pattern of the PTA has not changed, only the content of the busy work has changed.
(All characters in this article are pseudonyms)
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