1
I clearly remember the first time I met Sha Jing Month, was in my nine years old summer vacation, Qinghai Guoluo Banma County Sai Lai Tang town.
That day, my classmates and I went to jiangritang township to see the “celestial burial”, on the way to the house keys lost, back to Sailaitang, the county party committee infrastructure site to find my mother. When I arrived, I caught up with a dozen of them sitting on the ground to rest, and I saw a woman of about thirty sitting next to my mother, holding a very thick book in her hands, with a white face and long plaits of flowers tied up in her head like a little girl. I also sat down next to my mother, the woman saw me, smiled and asked: “Do you like reading thick books?” “And he handed me the thick book.” Have you read it?”
I looked at the book. On the cover was printed how steel was made. After a turn, vertical traditional characters, only a few simplified characters know, I shook my head at her. She said: “one day let your mother to the bookstore to buy a comic book first look, and then read a thick book, it is good for your composition.”
I whispered to my mother who she was. My mother said: “our fellow townsman, Sha Jing month aunt, she but a person with culture.”
I say: “have a culture to still work small?”
My mother said with a smile: “Yes, do not work to earn money, how to feed you grow up?”
At this time, standing in the hands and feet of the master called everyone to return to work, the people on the ground have stood up, and mud, moving clods, build walls, a busy, sha Jing month also began to move clods with my mother.
So, in the summer of 1970, Sha Jing Yue was sitting in a messy construction site, amid a noisy crowd, impressed by her reading appearance, which was out of place with the surrounding atmosphere, and her refined temperament, which was different from that of my mother.
On the way back, I thought, such a beautiful and educated person, why not sit in an office, dealing with mud and bricks all day.
Later, I graduated from Sailaitang Junior high school, went to the neighboring Maqin County of Dawu township to study normal school, later came to Xining, and then back to the Central Plains, a few decades, Sha Jingyue also was forgotten by me.
In the summer of 2015, I went back to Qinghai to attend a pen meeting held by The Guoluo Federation. When I stayed in Xining, I unexpectedly met Ai Yongge, a junior high school classmate of Sailaitang. His father, Esha He, has been working in Banma County for decades. He retired and settled in Xining. He is 85 years old, so I went to visit his family.
It was all banma County, and we were very close. The old man was very happy to see me and could clearly remember the bad things I did when I was a child. Talking about the people I used to know, the old man said that many of them had died, and as he went from one to another about those who were still alive, he suddenly spoke of Sha Jing Yue. I fell into a trance, like looking for a tree in a muddy field. The lens of memory slowly flickered through the distance of nothingness and adjusted the focus to reflect the scene when I first saw her when I was nine years old.
I said, she is an educated person, when I was a child she made me read heavy books. “Yes, she was one of the few junior high school graduates from the ‘supporting youth’ from Henan province who came to Qinghai. At that time, her junior high school education was equivalent to that of today’s college students. Many of her classmates were illiterate. When I was in charge of the organization department of the County Party Committee, I was in charge of the second camp farm. She was the one with the most experience among the more than 820 ‘supporting youth’ from Henan.”
2
Banma’s Farm is more than 340 kilometers away from Dawu Township, plateau geology and landform, vicissitudes of cold, 100 miles of no human habitation.
In the cold of the early spring of April 1960, a group of Henan’s “Zhi Qing” came here, sitting in the open-air compartments of a dozen Liberation trucks with green canvas roofs. At that time to send this group of educated youth in the past Ai Lao still remember, just set out, a few sha Jing month is the most active: she put her head out of the tent cloth, facing the roaring wind, see the distant majestic snow mountains and the vast undulating valley, excited loudly singing “five-star red flag fluttering in the wind” and “my motherland.
When the car climbed over a mountain more than 4,500 meters above sea level, Sha Jingyue vomited and vomited with the heavy snow outside the car. Altitude sickness began to make her lie down at everyone’s feet and fall asleep regardless of her image. Three days later, when she arrived at the farm, she recovered so quickly that she seemed to have nothing to do. She was the first to jump out of the car again, and she helped the young men unload their luggage with great excitement, saying with rapt delight, “What a beautiful view this is!”
They were the first to appear ready to “take root” in this vast wasteland of weeds, thorns, and pika bears. Here from the settlements, traffic inconvenience, like a gu city floating in the mountains of plateau, some on the slopes of the terrain at 40 degrees or so, obviously does not fit as arable land, but the government to make up for the food supply is insufficient, put forward “in the study of beidahuang farm, reclaiming wasteland for fertile land” policies and regulations, to make it into the granary of the wild type.
The young people on the edge first lived in canvas tents. Some of them used local materials and built adobe houses. The rest scraped grass and built camp walls. Sha Jing month in the grass group like a boy, fiercely doing physical work, and her beautiful temperament is not the same.
In the summer of the plateau, the hottest time is only about ten degrees, with only a short period of forty or fifty days. Taking advantage of the short construction period, the “Zhiqing” quickly piled up a courtyard wall several hundred meters long and more than one meter high with straw, and built four or five rows of adobe houses in the middle of the courtyard to serve as dormitories, canteens, meeting rooms and warehouses.
The farm had a military structure, with divisions, platoons and companies, all of whom were called “soldiers”. The male soldiers should reclaim five cents of land a day, and the female soldiers should reclaim three cents. The canteen of “Lian Bu” uses water as usual. It requires three people to take turns to draw water from a river two kilometers away for a morning, pulling a wagon with a large petrol tank.
In the middle of November, it was the turn of Sha Jing month and the other two people to pull water, the only one of the male youth who worked in the shift caught a cold for a few days, temporarily replaced with another female youth in the same dormitory. It was a fine day, and the three girls, talking and laughing, pulled the wagon to the river, and forgot, as usual, to carry their great woodcutter-axes, for the purpose of smashing the ice in the river, and for defending themselves; for wolves were often seen in packs on the moor, and they were most dangerous in winter, when they were hungry.
Three people sat by the river to see the scenery for a while, then began to slowly draw water, did not find the distance followed long Wolf. As they were filling buckets with water, two wolves sprang suddenly out of the gray grass, the one in front of them bit one of the girls in the arm, and the other one fell to the ground in terror. Sha Jing month, quickly turned to save the girl was bitten, another Wolf from her back rushed, she turned around, the Wolf did not bite her neck, but tore her buttocks on a piece of meat, cotton trousers were torn tattered, her sad cry, spread far away.
At that moment, two monks, aka (Lama), were passing by on horseback and rushed to the scene. Seeing the two wolves, they immediately took out the protective equipment in their arms — a small exquisite hammer three inches long, with a leather rope attached to it several meters long, and swung it around in the air, Shouting loudly to chase the wolves away. One of the akas got off his horse and tore his robe into strips to stop the bleeding for Sha jing Yue and another girl, while the other rode to the farm to inform the rescue workers.
Battalion commander, company commander came five or six, are frightened by the sight, quickly put a tractor in the field to work, sent three drivers and the team from Henan medical personnel, to give them the first anti-inflammatory injection, together rushed to the Banma county hospital.
Although the conditions of county hospitals are simple, but rare doctors are mostly from Beijing, Chengdu to respond to the call to “side” professional doctors, highly skilled. Sha Jing month after a few days of treatment, the injury was effectively controlled, but the other girl was not so lucky, the injury worsened, the county party committee specially sent a car to transfer them to the Xining Provincial People’s Hospital to continue treatment.
After the treatment of nearly half a year, two people recover basically. Before leaving the hospital, the girl said to Sha Jing month, I don’t want to die in the banma farm, I want to go home. ‘My ingredients are not good,’ she said. ‘I’m more afraid of going back home. I want to find a formal job in Banma county and support myself.’
After the two of them cried a lot, the girl resolutely left.
3
Sha Jing month returned to more niang mountain farm, the county party committee attaches great importance to her return, opened a special conference in recognition of her, but also to appease the will began to shake the “support green” people. A few days before Sha Jing month comes back, the farm has five young men missing, life and death is unknown. Some said they had sneaked back to Henan. Others said they had been eaten by wolves in the wild.
At this time has begun to harvest, in addition to radish and potato, large area sown highland barley, barley, are light long short pole does not knot grain, ears are hollow hollow. The leaders of the farm were not discouraged, but with the ambition that man could conquer nature, they discussed how many acres of land to open up and what kind of grain to plant.
Sha Jing month feel the need to do something, cause the county party committee organization department to the farm situation concern. By candlelight, she spent nearly a month to write a proposal report, analysis said, Banma County Duo Niang Mountain farm second camp is located in the north latitude 32 degrees higher, the day and night temperature changes greatly, the frost period is long, the annual wind season in more than 7 months, the wind speed of 2 meters per second, is a typical continental plateau climate. Bama county was originally a pastoral area, which should develop and establish supporting industries related to animal husbandry, such as dairy products, meat products and wool textiles. More than 800 of our agricultural cultivation “supporting youth” are all literate and capable people who can collectively change their jobs and become skilled workers in corresponding factories, making contributions to the vigorous development of local animal husbandry industry. “By its very nature, it is a waste of talent and cost to allow our educated youth to grow crops.”
In order to prove the correctness of his opinion, ShaJing month also said in a report in highland pasture vegetation, is extremely fragile in cold climates, once the man-made destruction, could take years to recover, the destruction of natural environment, are likely to set up a chain reaction in a bigger after many years, there will be spent more energy to restore the damaged grassland vegetation…
sha Jing month and did not realize what this report means to her, the battalion commander looked at it and said very carefully, the report is of great weight, can not make the superior unhappy, to have the heart to prepare is. Sha Jing month says, have no matter. Battalion commander sees her attitude resolute, also no longer say what, then turn over the report to the county party committee county government, at the same time sha Jing month oneself also give fruit luo state party committee and state government each mail a.
It was not until the next May, when the planting of the New Year began, that the organization department of the County Party Committee sent a three-person working group headed by Esha River to the farm to investigate the “report incident”. It was the two members of the investigation team who first came to talk to Sha Jingyue. They asked her in detail whether she had written a report with her own opinions or whether someone was behind it.
the development of the situation from the sha Jing month more and more partial to the idea: battalion commander and company commander, sha Jing month with the dormitory, and she went closer to the girl, were called to talk to the working group to investigate. The farm held two plenary meetings in a row, at which Ashahe said, we must be on the alert for new developments in class warfare. We must not allow unhealthy or even passive thinking on the farm, and we must maintain the initiative and correctness of farm cultivation and sowing.
Half a month later, the investigation team led by Ai Sha River, after asking for instructions to the county government, decided to give sha Jing month demerit, notify the farm each even, but also in the general assembly for written inspection.
4
After the sha Jing month is processed, the reclamation task continues to reach each company, and the decomposition is implemented on each team member. “Zhiqing” in the cultivated land sown highland barley, barley, peas, potato, radish, arduous task, physical consumption is very big. At this time, the grain supply of the farm began to be insufficient, set everyone’s eating standards, some people in order to make food, catch snakes on the grassland skin, run to the canteen to cook at night.
Before long, some people could not bear such a life, write a report to ask to go back to Henan, was the leadership pressure. One night the men left without saying goodbye and walked in the direction of Guide County, regardless of the danger on the road.
The county government again sent a working group at the rate of Ai Sha river came to the farm, early and late concentration, rectify discipline, supervise work and rest, do political and ideological work one by one. But these measures could not resist hunger and despair. When they came back from work one night, another four people were missing. When they checked the dormitory, they found that they had gone straight from the fields in the morning.
one day, sha Jing month back to the dormitory to see roommates leave a farewell note, next door two girls also disappeared, she immediately thought of three girls in the wilderness at any time may be followed by wolves attack, too late to ask the company commander, and another roommate to chase, walked three or four hours did not catch up to the figure. At this time, the sky is already hazy, behind the farm has disappeared, do not know from which direction can return to the camp, the two people blame each other not to chase, sitting on the ground loudly crying.
They were crying when they heard the sound of horses’ hoofs in the distance. At the same time, they stood up and looked around. A young Tibetan man was riding a black horse.
The young man jumped off his horse, spoke to them in half-known Chinese, knew they were lost, and told them to get on their horses. He took the REINS and carried them back to the farm. On the road sha Jing month learned that the Tibetan youth called Zhaxi Dongzhu, is more than the education secretary of the township, was returning from a farm husbandry point in the township.
On the way back, face to face with looking for them two three company commander, company commander split face said, you are not to steal away, zha came back? Sha Jing month explained, the company commander began to have a smile on his face, also asked Zhaxi Dongzhu to company tea, thank you.
A few days later, it was the turn of Sha Jing month and another two young people to go to the river for water, they accidentally met again in the river to go to the animal husbandry point under the account (to the countryside) zhaxi Dongzhu. Zhaxizhidongzhu jumped down from the horse, and shajing month talk, shajing month did not talk to his greetings, directly asked, do you have something to eat? We don’t have enough to eat every day. We are very hungry.
Tashi eastern pearl immediately dried beef, out of a horse the wallet to the three of them, and then quickly pick up to a dozen pieces of dry cow dung, around three stone hold up carry small pot, use flint led the fire, boil a pot of boiling the old eight tea, take out your own way spare zanba, for they mix ShaJing month to eat.
At parting, Zhaxi Dongzhu sent all the dried beef in his pouches to Sha Jing Month. Two companions smiled and said to Sha Jing month, it seems that this Tibetan is interested in you. Sha Jing month answer: “be! I cardamom girl, his youth, in addition to ethnic differences, have a normal yearning to eat meat is good!”
When they pulled the water wheel back to the company, the cook thought that there was something wrong, was going to the river to find them, they ha ha said, in the river to play for a while, delayed some time.
this year’s harvest, sha Jing month and everyone together in the ground to dig turnip potato, suddenly, the right side of the abdomen began to pain, pain to the third day a little unbearable, to the camp doctor a look, appendicitis. The doctor advised her to go to the county hospital, saying it might be serious. Sha Jing month thought, go to the county still so far road, still have to alarm the leadership, so endure another night.
Day again, the pain almost let her faint, which was the leader of the organization was sent to Sailaitang, in the hospital on the afternoon of the operation was excised.
After the second day, zhaxi Dongzhu suddenly broke into her ward. Sha Jing month is pleasantly surprised, ask, how do you know Me to be in hospital? Zhaxi Dongzhu said, My stomach perforated, also in the hospital, just listen to the doctor said, the farm has a female “support green” appendixoperation, I think it will be you, come in and see if it is you.
Later on the day is much better, Zhaxidongzhu’s mother from the grassland to the hospital to take care of his son, see Shajing month a girl, and his son is so familiar with, the way to give his son to drink milk, eat butter zanba, also every day to send a shajing month. This Tibetan mother uses half Tibetan half Han dynasty to say to Sha Jing month, you a woman really pitiful.
Have these nutrition to rest bottom, sha Jing month recovers very fast, two days before leaving hospital, ZhaXi East bead tells her to say, I listen to the cadre on the county to say, the farm wants to withdraw, how do you plan?
Sha Jing month listened to in the mind a jing, ask, you say but true? What about us “Support youth”? Doesn’t the government arrange the work? Zhaxi Dongzhu said, I heard that many of you can not stand the suffering here, all secretly ran, the leadership decided to send you all back to their original places. What do you do? Are you going back to Henan too?
Sha Jing month extremely wistfully say, how do I do? Think for a moment, suddenly head twist, looking at zhaXi East bead excitedly said, I don’t want to go home, want to follow you to stay! Zhaxi Dongzhu said, as long as you are willing to stay, I welcome ah, in fact, banma County is very good.
5
To May 1963, the red head of the government documents down, “support the youth” have a plan, according to the batch of withdrawal back home, Sha Jing month in the first batch of withdrawal list. She used the canteen to sai Lai Tang procurement opportunity, riding on a tractor, in the county Party committee compound found the bureau of Culture and Education has been transferred back from the Township when the secretary of zhaXi Dongzhu, said to him, I don’t want to go back to Henan, we both are not early have said, with you to stay?
Zhaxi Dongzhu said, the only reason you can stay is to marry me.
Sha Jing month said, well, I thought about it before, I gave you the youth years, I hope this choice is lucky.
Zhaxi Dongzhu asked, what is cardamom?
Sha Jing month said with a smile, is the horse to eat the peas.
So two people went to the county civil affairs bureau to deal with the marriage formalities, take back a very simple marriage certificate.
In this way, sha Jing month from the “supporting youth” this collective, a person in the banma county.
1964 National Day, Sha Jing Month and ZhaXi Dongzhu held a wedding ceremony, even as the resident of the county government, at that time there were not many people in the whole sai Lai Tang, Ai Sha River was naturally invited to the wedding site. After marriage, the bureau of culture and education to zhaXizhidongzhu points a house, Sha Jing month began to live a stable and quiet day, no one knows her life after marriage, also do not know how two people are to overcome the differences in cultural background and living habits.
As a family member of an ethnic minority cadre, Sha transferred her hukou to Banma from rural Henan province in 1965 and worked as a substitute teacher at Sailaitang Primary School, teaching Chinese from the first to fifth grades. This job is no problem for her. She is very dedicated and her students’ Chinese scores have improved significantly. But two years later, four or five new teachers were assigned from Xining and Guoluo. The school had no surplus staff, and although her teaching quality was the best, she had to go back home.
At that time, Sailaitang was a time of homosexual construction. In addition to the families’ houses, office buildings and new middle schools built continuously by various units, the Banma Cinema had been started and a large number of small workers were needed. Sha Jing month continues to work on each site.
In my first site to see the sha Jing month, but zhaxi Dongzhu in a fugitive arrest incident, as an assistant was killed by the prisoner, was later chased as a martyr.
Sha Jing month as a martyr survivors, to write a report to the Bureau of Culture and Education, required to work. While waiting for a reply, she continued to work as a laborer on the construction site of the Cinema in Banma County. While she was working, she stepped on a loose wooden board and fell from a high place. Although she fell on the sand used to handle the mud, she broke her pelvis and thigh, and her neck could not be turned, which doctors thought might paralyze her.
Sailaitang Hospital could not see this kind of fall, the construction team hired a car to send her first to aba County People’s Hospital, and then to Dujiangyan Hospital, treated for seven or eight months, finally saved a life, crippled a leg, neck can only stiffness with the whole body rotation.
Because of the accident, Sha Jing month to work, the ideal of independence to earn money to support the family was completely disillusioned, but her daughter Sha Yingjin is still young, she also had to live for her daughter. The Bureau of Culture and Education gave her a large pension, and the Bureau of Civil Affairs gave her a monthly pension equal to her husband’s salary. The county government, in response to her actual situation, promised that her daughter would give priority to work after she turned 18.
Sha Jingyue and her daughter still lived in that house. Zhaxidongzhu’s parents in the pastoral area had been thinking that their widowed daughter-in-law and granddaughter had a hard time living. Every year before winter, they would send several sheep and a yak beef. In the summer, the mother-in-law also keeps sending other people’s home difficult to eat fresh meat. Her carefree life, with a shovel head of the room opened a meadow became a vegetable garden, know the truck driver, from xining to seeds, vegetables CiLong like fall in love with the earth every day, every Sunday, holidays, she let her daughter called classmates and Wells to hundreds of metres away ground jigger irrigated land, neighbors will join them.
Sai Lai Tang is located in a small plain by the Mako River, Sha Jing month radish potato growth is very good, such as vegetables harvest, she will give all the neighbors to send dozens of jin, let the plateau is very difficult to eat fresh vegetables full of praise. She would also send some dishes to the government canteen. The stove keeper, seeing that she was living a miserable life by herself, would give her some money for the dishes.
This, in turn, made her a good name.
6
In 1974, a pair of carpenters came from Xinyang, Henan province. The styles of chest of drawers and wardrobe were very novel. Banma was next to Mako River Forest Farm, and there was plenty of wood.
Master and apprentice in sha Jing month did half a month, she wants them to work meticulously, have no matter chat. Xinyang and Sha’s hometown, Tanghe, are close to each other. The accent is basically the same, and the conversation arouses her nostalgia.
The neighbors saw that the 40-something carpenter often ate at Sha Jing yue’s house and didn’t see anything wrong with it. The next door has a girl and Sha Yingjin is a classmate, have every day black, suddenly come to look for Sha Yingjin, perhaps sha Jing month a moment of negligence, forgot to lock the door, the girl will directly push the door into, see her and the carpenter master hug together kiss. The girl went home and told her father what she had seen. Her father immediately told her not to tell anyone.
Two days later, another neighbor’s mistress had loose bowels, went out to the public toilet and accidentally saw the carpenter master tiptoeing to open the door of Sha Jing Month, walked out from the inside and ran away quickly. This female neighbor is a big mouth old woman, told this matter to the secretary in the bureau of culture and education husband, her husband and a few colleagues when drinking, this matter as a joke out.
In those days, a family member of a martyr receiving government assistance could be deprived of all honor and treatment at any time if there was any problem with his style of living.
So when the rumor reached the director of culture and education there, the director immediately alert up. he and zhaxi Dongzhu worked together for many years, out of responsibility for the dead colleagues, he found the director of civil affairs to discuss, decided to go to talk to sha Jing month by them together.
In ShaJing month home, culture and education, director of the first spoke better care, also praised her perseverance also martyr’s home, and then turn (say, want to cherish the hard-won life, not for himself on the spur of the moment, ruin the good reputation for many years, for example, in the county there can be no gossip, like a when mother looks like.
Finally, the director said, in a few years, Sha Yingjin will arrange the work, your home is no longer difficult also can’t have an accident, carry the difficulties to find the civil affairs Bureau, the organization will help solve the problem, Zhaxi Dongzhu in the spirit of heaven will be comforted.
Sha Jingyue heard very clearly, they hope that they are serious widowhood, ignorant of the body of those desires, adhere to the existing everything, do not step on the moral red line they set, otherwise the consequences. She had thought she could marry a carpenter and enjoy the benefits of being a martyr as well as human nature. When it became clear that she could not have her cake and eat it, she broke off her affair with the carpenter and hid her feelings.
Only once did she pass by the door of her neighbor’s house, but the woman with the broken mouth just carried a basin of water and poured it out. She had no time to take it back and poured it all over her. Sha Jing month in the heart of resentment, by this small matter to vent out, and the woman noisy to the dark, from now on under resentment do not interact.
In 1976, Sha Yingjin graduated from middle school, Sha Jing Month to find the director of the Bureau of Culture and Education, asked to arrange a job for her daughter. Leaders hope That Sha Yingjin to the state “civil teacher”, after graduation when the teacher, but Sha Jingyue said, family difficulties, want to let her daughter to work early to earn money to support the family, the leadership finally had to arrange Sha Yingjin in the county party committee office when the typist.
It was a happy ending for the house of the martyrs.
7
After daughter attends a job, sha Jing month 1977 looked for culture to teach director respectively, civil affairs director and the county magistrate that are in charge of civil affairs, say oneself mother is old already, need to go home to take care of to be put to rest, the leader considers this to be filial piety, agreed.
When everyone thought she went back to her hometown to take care of her mother, she just went to Xinyang, Henan province to find the carpenter who had not been broken.
But to her surprise, the carpenter’s family had no wife and children and could not marry her. After their reunion, they went to the qinling countryside in Ankang, Shaanxi province to do carpentry work together and lived for a year. Perhaps because of her personality and many trivial things, or because her novelty had passed and she was tired of such a turbulent life, Before the 1978 Spring Festival, Sha Jingyue returned to the old adobe house in Sailaitang.
Sha Yingjin has already moved out. She already has a boyfriend, a Tibetan boy.
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