We always say: convince people with reason.
No matter what we do, there is no escape from the word “reason”.
But everyone has his or her own reason.
There are many truths that cannot be explained in just a few sentences.
Zhuangzi said: “A summer insect cannot speak of ice.
Very often, reasoning is just a waste of time, a waste of words.
1
Different Levels, Words in Vain
Some people stand on the top of a mountain and see a magnificent and vast view of the mountains and rivers in the distance.
Some people stand on the rooftop and can only see the garbage downstairs, which is a mess.
People at different levels see different landscapes, and communication between the two is doomed to be a useless exercise.
The Analects of Confucius tells a story like this.
Tzu Kung was sweeping the floor at the door, and there was a visitor. The visitor asked him how many seasons there are in a year.
Tzu Kung replied, “There are four seasons: spring, summer, autumn, and winter.
The visitor said, “No, it’s three seasons.
The two men argued endlessly about this.
When Confucius heard the argument, he came out and observed, “There are indeed three seasons in a year. “
When the man heard this, he left happily.
Afterwards, Tzu Kung asked Confucius, “Why did you say three seasons when there are clearly four in a year, Teacher?
Confucius said, “He is a grasshopper who was born in the spring and died in the fall, but has never seen winter, and you can’t even explain it to a man of three seasons. “
This is the wisdom of the ancients not to reason with the “three seasons”!
In the end, the stupidest people in the world are those who are reasonable.
If you are right, you have a target to aim at, but if you are wrong, you are talking to the wrong person.
Therefore, it is better to quarrel with a sensible person than to talk to a confused one.
The way of the sage is to act and not to fight.
2
Different Interests, Different Reasons
Sima Qian said, “When the world is bustling, it is all for profit. “
It is human nature and a social law to seek profit.
No matter how much reasoning and sentiment you speak, if there is no profit to be made, no one is willing to follow you.
Different people have different interests, and different interests have different views and positions.
So often, what seems to be the competition is reasoning, but what is actually behind the competition is interest.
At the end of the Eastern Han Dynasty, the Three Kingdoms were established, and there were endless disputes between Wei, Shu and Wu.
Cao Cao was very powerful, so Shu and Wu joined forces to resist Cao Cao at Chibi.
At that time, Wu and Shu called Cao Cao “the traitor of Han”.
After Cao Cao’s victory at Red Cliff, Shu became a major threat to Wu.
Because of the importance of Jingzhou, Wu and Shu repeatedly competed with each other.
In order to retake Jingzhou, Sun Quan took the initiative to cooperate with Wei and called Cao Cao “Han Chancellor”.
With Wei as his ally, Guan Yunchang lost Jingzhou in his carelessness and ran away from the city.
It is reasonable to say that Shu and Wu were allies, and there was no reason for them to attack their ally.
However, Shu’s “Jingzhou” had been borrowed and never returned, and it was equally unreasonable to play scoundrel.
In many cases, it is useless to argue with the truth.
Different interests, different ideas.
If it doesn’t make sense, you might as well think of it from a different angle.
3
In different places, for different reasons
People and their situations are different, and the scope of the reasoning applies differently.
Not all truths can be applied universally.
The situation is not the same, and the situation itself is not the same, and the truth is not the same.
A piglet, a sheep, and a dairy cow were locked up in the same corral.
Once, the shepherd caught the piglet, and it squealed loudly and resisted fiercely.
The sheep and the dairy cow hated his squealing and said, “He catches us all the time, but we don’t squeal. “
When the piglet heard this, he replied: “Catching you and catching me are two completely different things. “
It is difficult to empathize with people.
Don’t measure and judge others with your own reasoning.
Because you don’t know what others have been through, you don’t understand what others are going through.
Learning to shut up and keep quiet is a discipline.
4
Reasonable only after facts are presented
My male neighbor, a corporate CEO, shook his head at me every time he saw me and said to me with great emphasis.
You’re too strong, what kind of business can a woman start, asking your husband to support you? You’re so silly to be so spoiled and just dress up.
He did take full responsibility for the family, his wife didn’t have to work, he bought her a million luxury car, and the family had three nannies.
He bought her a million dollar luxury car and has 3 nannies. However, one time when the two of us were out together, my husband and I were having a discussion and I casually asked him, “Aren’t you going to talk to your wife about it?
He looked at me in surprise and said, “What are we discussing? She doesn’t make money! I’m in charge.
I can’t help but ask again: can’t you comment if you don’t make money?
He rightfully said.
She eats and drinks well at home every day and still has opinions? Even if I was looking for a woman outside of the house, she had no right to say anything, and I could just not divorce her.
At that time, I was horrified and glad that I was not the kind of woman who relied on a man for support.
For me, I couldn’t live a day with only material advantages, but no spiritual freedom.
Later, when he told me again that women should not be so strong, I told him half-truths.
I can’t, I have to work hard, or I don’t have the right to comment, I don’t even have the right to say what my husband is cheating on me.
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