In 2007, when I was editing the culture section of a newspaper, I wrote about a single mother.
Pang Xiuyu, who worked in a hotel before graduating from junior high school, was drunk and raped by a customer, then half-heartedly became the mistress of a 40-year-old man and gave birth to three children in three years.
The result of the beginning of the chaos is nothing but the final abandonment, she was reduced to a single mother, three children, and a very sick old mother, also depend on her.
It’s a story that’s seen time and time again, and it’s not quite worth it to be in the social news of the newspapers. Why, is she on the culture page?
Because, in her other capacity, Pang Xiuyu was once a nationally renowned teenage writer, and when she was 15 years old, the Tianjin Daily went out of its way to publish a long article about her on one and a half pages.
Born in a family that did not even have a TV refrigerator, she published tens of thousands of words in elementary school and repeatedly won prizes in national essay contests, receiving awards all the way to the Great Hall of the People. She wrote letters to the great literary figures such as Ba Jin and received inscriptions from the central government leaders. She went on a trip to Japan with a dozen other high school students from across the country in her first year.
It is said that after the publication of the exercise selection “Hope”, the signing of the book was so swollen that her hands were swollen ……
This contrast is too big, too big. The shock of Lin sister living on the street is probably just like this. The society sympathizes with her, and the society also reflects on how this happened, but the news will always be silent, she is only 28 years old, her life is still very long, she has to live by her own hands.
My friend once said with emotion: When I was a child, my mother always used to teach me about Pang Xiuyu: ‘Look at other people, they save their food money to buy books, but you? Steal the tuition to play games.”
Years later, the friend is a middle-class person in society, and Pang Xiuyu …… a sigh of relief.
In 1994, CCTV broadcasted a news: this year just turned 14 years old, Tianjin experimental middle school students Pang Xiuyu personal book collection of 12,000 books, known as the top teenage book collection. She has published more than 30 poems and essays in children’s and teenagers’ newspapers across the country ……
Pang Xiuyu became instantly famous.
And years later, a reporter asked her: how many of the 12,000 books have you read?
She was very frank: most of them have not been read.
Pang Xiuyu’s father, Pang Yi, was said to be a very talented person, but he was not able to meet his talent, so he put all his ambitions on his children.
In Pang Xiuyu’s memory, reading and writing is pain, direct flesh and skin pain.
“From the moment I would write I had to write something, and if I didn’t or couldn’t write well I had to be beaten.”
Her father calculated her after-school time to the minute, and what she had to read and write in each period had to be done carefully and on time, with the slightest slackness a light reprimand and a direct punch or kick.
But around the age of ten, she had to write at least two thousand words a day.
Pang Aiyu says she learned at an early age what it meant to be “tired” – the days of sleep before midnight were few and far between. “I don’t seem to have had a childhood, nor have I ever laughed out loud; all my childhood was spent in reading, writing and thinking.”
Pang Xiuyu’s alma mater was Huainingdao Primary School, then just a quiet, introverted girl who was above the rest of her classmates in composition, but not in overall achievement.
It was only after their father and daughter put a stack of awards in front of the principal that the school began to pay attention to her.
As Pang Xiuyu became an overnight sensation, her fame did bring benefits to her family.
“Participating in social activities carries more weight than studying, and if it were me, I would probably judge it the same way.” A friend of Pang Xiuyu’s father explained it this way, “It was a time when the celebrity effect was just surging and people had realized that once they became famous, they could reap both fame and fortune.”
That was true. Friends and neighbors could see for themselves. “Their family changed a lot, people gave computers, many people came to sponsor them.”
Out of love for the imagination of her talent, she was admitted to the Tianjin Experimental High School on an exceptional basis.
But Pang Xiuyu, who was only a teenager, wasn’t keen.
“Every time she participated in social activities, Pang Xiuyu did not have much expression, not happy, nor disgusted, she just followed what her father taught her to do, like a puppet. And later, Pang Xiuyu simply stopped talking, and Pang Yi played the role of the child’s advocate .” Based on the importance attached to Pang Xiuyu, a teacher from the experimental middle school was sent to accompany her in social activities.
Pang Xiuyu’s road to glory is still going up, since Pang Xiuyu started publishing articles in the third grade, in three years, it has accumulated more than 40,000 words of articles.
In 1991, she won the second prize in the “My Hometown” essay contest organized by CCTV and Liaoning Children’s Publishing House.
In 1992, he won two first prizes in the “National Primary School Literary Society Essay Contest” and the second “Wenxin Cup” essay contest sponsored by the National Center for Essay Research.
In the same year, he won the first prize in the “National Short and Concise Prose Competition for Primary and Middle Schools” organized by the Tianjin Academy of Literature.
In 1993, he won the first prize in the “National Primary and Secondary School Composition and Poetry Grand Prix” sponsored by “Juvenile Literature and Arts”, winning the only first prize in the elementary school category; and
In December 1993, she won the first prize again in the “National Essay Contest for Middle School Students” ……
In view of her literary achievements, Pang Xiuyu was selected on November 11, 1993 for the Chinese Youth Yearbook and the Chinese Dictionary of Contemporary Youth Talent compiled by the Management Information Center of the State Education Commission. 1994 saw her being named one of the “Top Ten Literary Youths in China”.
Immediately afterwards, the publishing house helped her publish her personal anthology, and major bookstores began to invite her to sign books.
Soon after the publication of her book, the Soong Ching Ling Foundation began to take an interest in Pang Xiuyu, awarding her the first scholarships and sending her to Japan with a delegation of Chinese primary and secondary school students.
But the downside of the story was that social activities took up so much of her time and energy that she couldn’t keep up with her schoolwork, hovering near zero in physics and math for long periods of time.
Also, the poverty of her family made her have low self-esteem. When she first started school, people were curious about her and thought she was a celebrity. But she had nothing in common with her classmates’ families, ideas, or main themes, and she was naturally ranked outside of them.
But all this, at that time, did not matter.
Although her grades were poor, but since she could break into high school, maybe she also had a chance to break into college? For example, Tsinghua was admitted with 60 points lower, it was still possible.
The real crisis happened in 1998 when Pang Xiuyu’s parents got divorced.
According to Pang Xiuyu’s mother, Zhu Lili, “He had an affair and was fighting with us all day long, kicking and punching.
One rainy night, Pang Xiuyu and her mother could not stand her father’s domestic violence and fled. They didn’t even bring a penny and a change of clothes. “Totally run away from the general life, can not think much.” Pang Xiuyu and her mother wandered aimlessly in the street, suddenly saw a central hospital, and finally the two of them spent the night on a bench in the hospital emergency room.
In April 1998, the couple finally agreed to divorce. Mother and daughter received 40,000 yuan.
At that time, Pang Xiuyu, who was underachieving, was repeating her junior year, but her grades did not improve after repeating.
She failed the middle school exams and has been out of school ever since.
Zhu Lili was also diagnosed with diabetes in the same year.
What could a junior high school graduate do without a skill?
She went to work as a waitress in a restaurant. Her mother, Lily Zhu, worked as a nanny.
Soon, Pang Xiuyu met a man sixteen years older than her.
He said he would pay for her education, buy her books, let her continue writing, fulfill her literary dreams, and marry her to give her happiness.
After that, everything we can imagine happens.
Pang Xiuyu found out that she didn’t really know the man, didn’t know where his hometown was, didn’t know exactly what he was doing, didn’t know what he was doing with when he wasn’t around …… The man would go along with Pang Xiuyu and call her mother “mom “, but would not talk a word more about himself, every time he asked he would sketch a few perfunctory sentences, ask more and would show a lot of impatience, saying something like “very tired, don’t always talk about this, it has nothing to do with our lives, you know I love you.”
And she got pregnant.
In December 1999, her first child croaked.
Caught off guard, twin daughters were born in November 2000.
Pang Xiuyu was just a …… girl with little education and zero social experience.
She has only one mode of dealing with men: time and again to death, “a cry, two, three hanged, as long as he comes, I either strangle a belt around the neck, or holding a kitchen knife, or stand on the windowsill.” Looking back on those days, she said she thought of all the suicide moves, in order to test whether the man was sincere to her.
But it was all to no avail. Finally, one day, the man stopped coming to the door.
In the spring of 2001, Pang Xiuyu filed a lawsuit in court on behalf of her three children, demanding that the man pay alimony. During the forensic investigation of the case, she discovered a secret — the man who had always told her he was an ordinary company employee owned two large and two small companies and had a personal fortune of over 7 million RMB!
Just when she thought her life was on the line, the man and his wife quickly divorced, transferred all 7 million of his personal assets to his ex-wife and ex-wife’s father, and resigned from all his positions in the company, leaving Tianjin without a trace. The court eventually ordered him to pay a total of $1,200 per month in child support for his three children.
In 2005, with all three children nearing school age, Pang sold her only property, the house she had bought with the proceeds of her mother’s divorce. At the same time, she asked for help from the newspaper.
When the newspaper sent out her letter of help, it was met with reactions from all walks of life.
The whole society was reacting to what went wrong with the family education and language education to let a talented girl fall to this level.
And my friend who works at the newspaper told me straight out: I was not impressed with Pang Xiuyu.
A single mother with three children who values dressing to an outrageous degree.
There are places where lies are told, in the pursuit of dramatic effect.
The speech and mannerisms again reveal an extremely simple mind, such as on the letter to the newspaper asking for help, it directly says “I don’t know if your newspaper can help our family, I just hope to borrow a corner of your newspaper to find a kindred spirit who has the ability to help me share the burden of raising my children.” — Bai Juyi’s pipa woman, only not even to have this realization.
But anyway, the world’s affairs, as long as you ask, most of them can be asked.
Pang Xiuyu to the community to ask for marriage, the other party: must be more than 50 years old.
Region is not limited, occupation is not limited, single, if there are children, must have reached adulthood.
Because, fifty and know the life of God, reliable.
The specific requirements are: to be kind-hearted, do not beat women, mild-tempered, never care about her previous experience, do not touch her previous wounds, to support her in writing and charitable causes. She said that she would not use his money to engage in charity and public welfare, but he must support her to engage in charity and public welfare, can not stop her, and support her to go out writing and wind. He has to try his best to take care of his mother and children when she can’t take care of them when she goes out to collect.
Financially, she said she did not require much: as long as she could raise her three children, bear the cost of her mother’s treatment for her possible future illness, and help her mother and children settle into a decent home.
Pang Xiuyu begged, and once again she became a mistress.
In the 2005 open call for marriage, Pang Xiuyu did get a lot of attention. “One of them is a southern man, wrote to me the material is very real, including his name, company name, he said he had also gone through a complicated emotional experience, willing to accept my past, but also said willing me to investigate and verify.” This man was more than thirty years older than her.
Pang Xiuyu put the children in Tianjin and went to the south alone, but the memories of getting along were not pleasant.
Pang Xiuyu cooking, the man did not like to eat.
She polished the furniture, the man had to touch it with his hands.
The man is willing to raise her, but not her children, but also arranged, which child sent to where, the next family are looking for a good.
Five years later, Pang Xiuyu separated from this man — but she was surrounded by another son.
The birth of this child was a life-threatening process.
But when the child was two years old, the man suspected that the child had mental problems.
He could talk and hear, and recite poems, but he was just a slower learner than the average child,” Pang Xiuyu said. I can’t imagine how a man, a father, would not want his own child, to put his own old son to death?”
The man gives the child 3,000 yuan a month for living expenses.
The last news about Pang Xiuyu stopped in 2011, and there’s been nothing new since — she’s too old to be a mistress.
After the story broke in 2005, she was interviewed by several media outlets.
Among them, CCTV did a special report on her under the title “I am Vine”.
This title, in fact, contains an attitude.
In the feature story, there was the following dialogue.
Reporter: It’s the same as you are still pinning your hopes on others now?
Pang Xiuyu: you and I so I can not resist, not to say that big words, meaningless. In private, it just doesn’t fit. I am no longer an unmarried mother, the three of them are no longer born out of wedlock, even if there is nothing.
Reporter: Why don’t you go out and work?
Pang Xiuyu: Marriage is the gas station for my career. Don’t people think it’s far better for me to get a pen and write than to take a job in a restaurant or to do sanitation? Wouldn’t that be a waste?
In the report, a clip of Pang Xiuyu answering the phone was shown.
In the phone call, she said: I am looking for a marriage hope to add a clause, I hope the other party is a businessman in business. Life is very practical. Can’t be a monthly income of 1000 he also to apply for it, this future how to live the day.
This story has many lessons for us.
One, is it desirable to have a pressurized education method?
I once expressed my opposition to teaching children to recognize words at an early age, and parents accused me of standing and talking.
Does it have to be anorexia from the children to catch, to be cool?
Pang Xiuyu has not engaged in any work related to reading and writing at all since she left school, and she is disgusted by this in her heart, right?
Second, the untrustworthiness of talented children and prodigies is not desirable.
I am half skeptical and half unappreciative of all children’s poets and the like.
It is very difficult to say whether they are original to me or not.
And even if it is, so what?
What does writing poetry prove, that the child has talent and logical ability? No.
If it is just a child’s heart that is valuable, then what is there to say about the child’s heart that everyone has?
It is worth reflecting on “The Hurt Locker” in the first place and Pang Xiuyu in the second.
Third, labor is indeed the source of happiness.
Pang Xiuyu has hardly ever worked since she was nineteen.
Her whole life depended on men.
From one to the other.
The first half of her life is the consequence of a failed education.
The second half of her life is indeed attributable to her lazy eating.
Fourth, there is nothing great about having a son, don’t think too much about the mother’s son, to the son on top.
Pang Xiuyu gave birth to a total of four children, two boys and two girls.
And the fathers of these four children, are not rare her sons.
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