Recently, a friend moved to a new Home, to her house warming, I thought the new home should be clean and tidy, but once inside, I was dumbfounded.
Whether it’s the living room, bedroom or kitchen, hoarded with a variety of things, lipstick a hundred, clothes seven or eight cabinets, sweeping robots four or five, usually never cooked her, the refrigerator is full of Food.
If these are barely understandable, those empty bottles and cans, cardboard boxes, shoe boxes, plastic bags really let people feel speechless.
I asked her why she did not throw, she returned my sentence, keep, always useful.
It is very speechless to hear.
In the eyes of outsiders, my friend is a rich white beauty, 28 years old, in an investment company as an executive, with a base salary of 50,000, capable and valiant, dealing with problems without delay.
But hoarding this problem, how can not change. Obviously four or five years are not useful, but still do not want to admit that they hoarded the garbage.
This phenomenon is not an isolated case. But no matter what you say, you can’t change their obsession with hoarding.
Hoard cardboard boxes because they will be used later.
Hoard books because they will be read later.
Even the cell phone App is flooded, which can not be deleted.
The actual fact is that you can find a lot of people who are not able to get a lot of money from the internet.
Later, but unknowingly live into the old mother, hoarding things have never been better.
2
I hoard not things, but a sense of security”
Two days ago, waiting for the elevator, I happened to hear two girls chatting about why the house is full of clothes, but always feel that one less.
So as soon as you walk into the mall, you unconsciously start buying.
Even if you don’t wear it, you have to hoard it, in case you want to wear it one day without it, you’ll be disturbed.
The two also talked about their own end of the holiday to organize the room’s painful experience, said they intend to clean up the room to throw things, the results stood for half an hour, nothing was thrown away, things from the drawer are taken out, and silently stuffed back, afraid to throw the later also use things.
Think of a college classmate of mine, is a typical hoarder, we say she is a brave, only into not.
When you go to school, the mattress is covered with the usual accumulation of instant noodles seasoning.
When you get married after three years of graduation, it is surprising that the workbooks and books and old clothes you left behind from elementary school are all moved to your husband’s house. The whole week was spent on moving large bags of things. The actual can’t move away, repeatedly urged the mother not to throw. Whenever there is a sale at the mall, she is sure to be among the people who go there. The actual fact is that you’ll be able to buy a child’s bottle when you’re single, and you’ll have a child safety seat when you don’t buy a car. She always said that she was afraid that she should miss to buy, throwing the should not throw. This sentence says a lot of people hoarding mentality, keep buying, and throw away, in the end is actually three words: a sense of security.
Once in Zhihu read a netizen’s confusion.
Like to hoard snacks, do not see want to eat, but see a box full of snacks will be very satisfied. If there are no snacks at all, there will be nothing to do.
One of the high praise answer said this: although not used, but something hoarded there brings a sense of psychological security, will make people feel that this thing I do not lack.
Psychologist Maslow said that psychological security is a feeling of confidence, security and freedom from fear and anxiety.
It is also what we often call peace of mind.
When feeling mentally insecure, some people will gain a sense of control over the world around them by hoarding.
With these things in place, I won’t have my hands full at some point in the future.
The essence of hoarding is to combat the fear of the unknown.
3
“No amount of hoarding can save that fear of being poor.”
When it comes to the root of this panic, we have to mention childhood
A lot of young people who are keen on hoarding have the shadow of childhood Education left by crying poverty.
Because people who are afraid of being poor, no matter how successful they are, they do not feel relaxed and accomplished. Only when you see the money and goods hoarded psychological peace of mind.
However, hoarding more can not save the poor and afraid of the heart.
Just like my girlfriend who loves to hoard skirts.
The Family is not poor, but as a child, Parents never give pocket money, and small partners in the stalls will be repaired, clothes and bags are “new three years old three years, sewing and mending and three years “.
When she saw other students with new clothes, she was always envious and had low self-esteem.
So for many years, skirts have an enigmatic appeal to her. But you will find that she actually rarely wears it. Every Time she asked, she would say that when she remembered that she didn’t have one when she was a child, she now felt inadequate.
In fact, there are many young people who are deep into hoarding because of their childhood crybaby education.
The @beggingallisbitter: When I was a kid, I bought two extracurricular books at once and was scolded for half a day, but now I’m buying boxes and boxes of them on sale at e-commerce.
@Yinchuan Lake flowers quiet night: when I was a child, my mother never let me buy clothes, wearing old clothes given by my aunt. Other girls are wearing beautiful, I am particularly envious. After growing up desperately buy clothes, more expensive are not blinked, many new clothes put for a long time even the label is not taken off, pile not to wear, want to compensate for their own, think about quite sad. @ANIRAC: When I was a child wearing my cousin’s clothes, I was blocked by a group of girls in the corner and ridiculed, and pulled my clothes. Shoes broke down, no other shoes to change, afraid to go to gym class. Envious of other girls who have dolls and nice dresses, and I never had anything. So now I desperately try to buy clothes, shoes and bags, happy and sad.
These adults just try to make their children learn to be frugal, but it never seems to occur to them that children who are instilled with a sense of poverty from a young age will live a lifetime of deprivation, because poverty is not a condition, but a feeling, and this feeling, which affects a lifetime.
I once saw an interview with Dong Qing in which she said she had a particularly difficult experience growing up.
“For a long time I felt I didn’t deserve, didn’t deserve to have nice things. Clothes only look discounted, for a long time do not know what style they fit; food as long as it can be fruitful on the line, the restaurant environment does not matter; home things only seek to be useful, use bad to throw”.
Parents write to the child’s subconscious is deprivation, the child’s Life will not be easy.
4
In “Breakaway”, Eiko Yamashita compares people to small fish living in a pool. At the gate at the upstream entrance, items keep pouring in, but the gate at the downstream exit, if not for a conscious effort, simply does not open.
The more things pile up, the more space is limited, and one is like a catfish living in a pool full of silt.
Psychological studies have shown that hoarding disorders can make the human brain overactive and prone to depression. The more items you hoard, the easier it is to prioritize and the more difficult it is to focus.
And the scariest part of hoarding disorder is that having too much, you have no idea what you really want.
A person who focuses too much on the future will only keep missing out on the present.
This is why the more you hoard, the more anxious you become.
I once watched a Japanese drama “my home is empty”, the heroine Asahi is a student girl who does not want to throw anything away, but because her boyfriend broke up, in a fit of anger, the room full of items related to her boyfriend all thrown away.
As the play says, items or men, when parting, remember that the most important thing is to be crisp, crisp, crisp.
The things that are useless, simply throw away, thumping things, from now on to use up.
A good life is never too complicated, being and living is a truth.
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