The Diamond Principle of Wise Parenting

First Diamond Rule: As long as your child is able to do something on his own, make sure he does as much of it as possible.

As long as your child has mastered a skill or is able to do something, you must insist that he do it on his own in the future. If your child is able to walk on his own, then parents should not continue to carry him. If the child can eat on his own (no matter how badly he eats or how dirty he gets), parents should not continue to feed him.

It may add a lot of trouble for a while, such as having to constantly clean up his dirty clothes, the dining table, the floor, which may take two or three months, but it’s better than having to feed him when he’s five or six years old. For example, patiently waiting for your little one to learn to walk on his own is much easier than struggling to carry a six or seven year old who is not used to walking on his own on the street or on business trips or travel.

Always say to your child: I believe in you, you can do it yourself! (If the child is very small, be sure to squat down and look him in the eye and say to him), learn to refuse to provide help that does not make any sense for the child’s growth, the more children do things on their own, the more a sense of accomplishment, self-confidence is stronger, self-confidence and a sense of accomplishment for children to blossom from childhood.

The second diamond rule: instill a sense of family responsibility in your child.

1. As soon as a child learns to walk, he or she can do some housework.

2, If you teach a child to help with chores when he is very young. He will then see doing chores as a pleasure and a natural part of his life. Avoid exposing your child to chores so that he can concentrate on his studies and homework. This is not a wise behavior. I recommend that at least one day a week is spent with the whole family participating in chores.

The Third Diamond Rule: Let your child make his or her own age-appropriate choices. The more choices they make at a young age, the more assertive they will be and the better they will be at making choices in the future.

If you want to raise your child to be a leader in the future, it is very crucial that from an early age, your child learns to make choices that are similar to his age. He may choose badly, but let him learn to grow by making mistakes, and let him know that behind any choice there are corresponding consequences that arise. Let your child learn to bear the consequences of his choices from a young age, which is an early form of leadership development. Children need to have the opportunity to make independent decisions from a young age, which is very helpful in forming independent judgmental thinking and building self-confidence.

Note: A child can only make decisions that are appropriate for his age, not everything is his choice. For example, if he goes out with his parents to socialize, he cannot decide what time to come home, only the parents can decide.

Fourth Diamond Rule: Establish a lasting family rule and stick to it throughout as much as possible, consistently strict, but fair.

There must be rules, or discipline, in the home, but discipline is not a way to show your children your authority, but a tool to help them establish self-discipline and have rational restraints on their behavior so they can thrive.

First, limit the amount of time your child spends watching TV and playing on the computer.

Watching television will give children input a fixed pattern, is passive reception, is not conducive to the development of children’s imagination and creativity, Bill Gates only allowed his daughter to go online 40 minutes a day, only children are particularly addicted to the online “virtual world “. Internet addiction is already a very serious and growing problem

Second, the child’s manners, speech and behavior to give special attention to education, a child with average academic performance, but polite and know how to live a strong life than a child with excellent academic performance but do not know how to live a very rude and poor ability to have greater development in the future in life career. So parents should urge their children to develop good character and lead by example.

Praise the child, must praise his behavior cultivation. Instead of praising her appearance or achievements all the time. Remind him at all times that your appearance and academic performance match your own behavior and demeanor?

Third, strictly control your child to eat fast food junk food

1. China has a very rich food culture with many delicious and healthy choices. Don’t poison your children with processed junk products.
2. Letting your child eat junk food is not the same as your love for him! Many kids actually don’t like the taste of fast food. They just like to play in the McDonald’s playground and get the little toys that come with the kids’ package. So, please take your kids to a real playground. Eat healthy Chinese food. And those one or two dollar stickers and little toys are sold everywhere in China. You really don’t need to get your kids into the habit of eating junk food!

The Fifth Diamond Rule: Don’t ignore your child’s emotional problems, but you don’t need to be overly stressed about them either.

At the core, be empathetic, not compassionate, and don’t let your child catch the sympathy bug. When your child shows feelings such as shyness and fear in outside interactions or other things, just saying to your child not to be afraid, not to be shy …… is not very useful, but it is better to be able to recognize his feelings and immediately give encouragement and support, tell your child that you have experienced the same feelings, this is how you show your child Empathy, showing that you understand what he is feeling at this time. This will strengthen your child’s trust in you and increase his or her self-confidence. When you show empathy, your child will be comforted, but it will undermine his self-confidence.

Dealing with the problems and conflicts your child encounters

1、Listen with an empathetic mind

2、Encourage your child to find a solution by yourself

3、Finish the solution and guide the child to let go

The child’s solution may fail, but it’s okay, you can encourage the child to try again.

This way we are raising a problem solver instead of a complainer and victim.

The Sixth Diamond Rule: Don’t be afraid of your child’s tears and tantrums.

All children rage, throw tantrums, are born with a lack of tolerance for frustration, they are naturally self-centered, and whatever they want, they must have. Meeting all the demands of a child simply to get him to stop crying will only teach him that crying and tantrums are one of the best means of getting what he wants. On the one hand, this hinders the development of the child’s creativity and motivation, and on the other hand, there is no opportunity to transform the child’s self-centeredness into a sense of social responsibility.

If a non-verbal child is crying

1. first see if he is hungry, tired, bored, wetting his pants.
2. If not, let him cry as much as he wants, release, kiss him after crying, pet him, give him toys to play with, but do not let him watch TV.

If it is a talking child

1. guide him to use words instead of crying to channel his emotions.
2. If he continues to cry, then let him cry all the time. He will naturally stop crying when he loses attention and is done releasing.
3. If you are crying at home, tell your child that he can cry, but not to disturb others, and set up a special room for crying. Go to that room and cry to your heart’s content.

Note: Never give in because your child cries for a while. Giving in once stirs up countless subsequent problems, while not being in the opinion of unexpected people. It’s better to put up with crying as a child than to continue to cry and play when you go to school and grow up, and it’s okay for children to experience momentary frustration as a child.

The seventh diamond rule: do not put too much attention on the child.

1. If you want your child to grow up to be a problem solver, independent thinker and all-around leader, then please don’t overwhelm him with your excessive attention to your child. A child who is immersed in pleasure and coddling every minute will have a hard time coming up with solutions to problems.
2. If you pay too much attention to your child, your child will not pay attention to you. Children who get too much attention will conclude that it is their parents’ responsibility to listen and take instructions.

Eighth Diamond Rule: Don’t be afraid to say “no” to your child.

Parents all over the world seem to be afraid of this word. But it is a very useful word for teaching children! Learn to use it!

2. Sooner or later, everyone learns this lesson in life: one cannot do whatever one wants. The older you get, the more painful the process becomes. Saying “no” to your children is true love for them!
3. Remember: love is not the same as giving material things.

Just because you personally like a high quality of life doesn’t mean you need to share it with your child.

5. Telling your child “no” will give them the motivation to strive for success in life and train them the skills to succeed.

I know many parents have a hard time saying no when their children cry and scream when they can’t get what they want, but remember, you are the adult, take a deep breath and stay calm.

For example.

1. I know you’re angry. But we can’t always get what we want.
2. Crying won’t change my decision. You need to calm down.

3、Child: (Crying for a teddy bear or toy): I want it! I want it! I want it! Buy it for me! Buy it for me! I want it!

Parent: (calmly and gently) No matter how much you make a fuss, you won’t get it. You can cry, I’ll wait.

The Ninth Diamond Rule: Hurt equals growth.

1. No one can protect a child from emotional harm. A parent doesn’t need to do that either. The reason you love your child unconditionally is because there is a world out there and not everyone likes your child. That’s life.
2. Your job is to give your child a set of problem-solving skills.
3. You have to accept this reality, focus on it, and make yourself better! Many people will like you. Life is too short to worry about people who don’t like you.
4. True self-esteem and self-confidence come from personal achievement. Let your child focus on improving his or her skills, personal achievements and personal values.
5. Children and adults who hurt others are generally unhappy and dissatisfied with themselves. They gain self-esteem by hurting others.

The Tenth Diamond Rule: Take every opportunity to guide your child to think of others.

1. It would be a tragedy for society if your child saw the satisfaction of his or her desires as the most important thing!

2, this advice I give may cause you some inconvenience, you may have to wait for an extra trip to the subway, elevator, but your example is very important for shaping your child’s personality.

3、Remember that your child is yours and also this society’s.

4、A mother’s greatest responsibility is to let her children know that they are not the center of the universe.

5、If you have a nanny, you have to set an example. There is no nobility in the profession, and anyone deserves respect and good treatment.

The Eleventh Diamond Rule: Children learn to be grateful.

1. The best way to ensure that your child is grateful is to make sure that he has received many of the things he “really needs”: your time, your love, your emotions; and And very few of the things he “wants”: toys, candy, etc. Gratitude is the foundation of “good character”.
2. To develop this habit, manners go hand in hand. All children should be trained to say “thank you” out loud, and whenever they are given a gift or receive help, they should say from the bottom of their hearts. “Thank you.
3. I know it is not a Chinese tradition to say thank you among family members, but home is the first classroom and parents are the most important teachers. If you neglect to develop this good habit, you are limiting your child’s chances of future success.