I often hear people say “If you do not get married, when you are old and sick, who will take care of you?” Or, “I originally thought I could be alone, but when I got sick and went to the hospital alone, I felt especially miserable and felt I had to get married.”
This reminds me of a quote I read as a child: “When I was young I relied on reason, but now I trust my feelings more.”
I can’t remember if this quote was said by Goethe in his old age, or by Heine or someone else. Anyway, they were the words of a great literary figure.
At that time, I was in love, and I was very surprised to see such a passage coming from a respected old man, but I also felt very happy because I interpreted his words as a love affair.
Immediately feel that their love brain is not so outrageous. Later, as I grew up, I realized that the guru was talking about believing in relationships, not exclusively about getting laid.
When it comes to taking care of patients, I have more experience than many people. After all, I am a family member of a patient with a cerebral hemorrhage and paraplegia.
I still remember when my dad first got sick, the doctor said he would live at most ten years. As a result, my dad lived for seventeen years.
In these seventeen years, my dad never had his hair tidy, his clothes neat and tidy, he liked the old-fashioned way of wearing the collar turned to the outside of the sweater, my mother gave him a white shirt washed and clean, and pushed him out for a walk every day.
I once asked my mom, “Why are you so good to my dad? She replied without thinking, “Your father is a really good man.
I also asked her, if you were sick in bed, do you think my father would take such good care of you? The answer was still the same: yes.
My mother took care of my father for 17 years, not because of any responsibility, morality, of course, all of these have, but more is a deep feeling.
It is because of the days that the two people had walked together and suffered. It is my father’s good to my mother, in turn, so that my mother to my father’s unfailing.
It was only when I grew up that I understood what Goethe meant by believing in the “feelings” of the feelings.
In fact, a few years ago, my mother and I walked together, she once told me something similar. I hope I can find someone to take care of me when I get old.
At that time, I only told my mom two ideas, one is, how are all thinking is that they are sick, others will take care of themselves. Maybe the other person is sick and you have to take care of him.
You should also ask yourself, if he is paralyzed in bed, would you like him to live and die without leaving?
The other is that even if I am sick, he should take care of me, but there are no feelings of the two people, sick people let people pour a glass of water will be too much for you.
My mom understood in seconds.
Then there were no more such words. The actual fact is that you will find a lot of people who have been in and out of the hospital for seventeen years, what kind of patients and what kind of families she has seen.
To put it bluntly, I think that getting married and getting old and having someone to take care of you are not enough for human nature and insight into life.
The scenario that you think I am now married and have a child, there will be someone to take care of, are just what you think.
The real in your old age will be willing, not for moral kidnapping to take care of you, is and you have deep feelings of people. Not a person who has a marriage contract with you.
Even if they are your own children, it depends on how you used to treat them.
Even if some children can’t get rid of a patient in moral constraints, there are a thousand ways to hurt you in the daily nitty-gritty details of caring for a patient.
My parents’ old colleagues, many of them with geriatric diseases, in fact, the initial situation is much better than my father, a couple of years passed away, all because the family did not take good care of.
Finally, a very solid fact, my parents are older, so I was able to observe the Chinese elderly society first, in our neighborhood, my parents’ colleagues and friends.
Generally, the old man who gets sick and the old woman takes care of him lives longer, while the old woman who gets sick and the old man takes care of her dies in a year or less than two years.
Then the old man will soon find a younger partner after the old man.
So, back to the beginning of that sentence, don’t think that a marriage contract can resist what, to protect what.
Marriage is a specific person, do not trust the institution of marriage, but learn to trust the feelings between people and people. Cherish the feelings between people and people.
At the end of the day, the person who does not give up on you, does not tolerate, does not dislike, is not necessarily who you are, but must be the person who has feelings for you.
I can not be sure what, but I think that all life to the end, how you treat the world when you are young, treat others, will be in old age back to you.
We, the small people, group warmth, friends, relatives, lovers, parents and children, we all treat each other tenderly and kindly, is the real guarantee of old age.
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